


Chosen One's Adventure with Legendaries

by Kinrah



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anime Plotline but screwed around with, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Integrating movies and bits of the games too, Non-Canon Pokemon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 79
Words: 116,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27338626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kinrah/pseuds/Kinrah
Summary: UT: you know you said you were gonna miss out on stuff once you left?MW: Yes…?UT: we went on a cruise, escaped from a sunken ship, and had an adventure on an island with giant robot pokémon.UT: it’s been 48 hours.UT: your turn!MW:MW:MW: How.When Ash Ketchum was to set off on his journey across Kanto, the legendary Pokémon of the world were very interested to see how it would go. Arceus set a very simple ground rule: Nobody was to interfere. Ash was to have a normal journey without their shenanigans getting in the way. Of course, then they all found out that Ash had been freely chatting with the Kanto legendaries for nearly two months, some of them just couldn't leave well enough alone, and by the time Ash's journey was three weeks in he'd already indirectly saved the world. Things... kind of spiralled out of control from there.Or: the legendary Pokémon have a chatroom and discuss disrupting canon as much as possible.Alternatively or: the Ash Ketchum group chat that existed before any of his human friends ever joined.
Comments: 516
Kudos: 487





	1. Episode Zero (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> To the readers of Legendtrapped: I'm still working on it! The Homestuck aspect of it is giving me trouble though, which is why the next chapter's been so long in the making. This story is pure Pokémon so that element of trouble is removed. Characters are mostly the same, with a few exceptions; namely Mew, Ho-oh and Moltres, because they're much more active characters in this story. I hope reading more chat-based shenanigans is enough of a filler while you wait for me to continue with that one.
> 
> To people who haven't read Legendtrapped: Reading it isn't required for this story. The only elements of continuity are the formatting and most of the characterization.
> 
> To all readers: Earlier in the year I started work on a 'rationalization' of the Pokémon anime, i.e. rewriting it with aspects of later generations in mind. It pretty quickly derailed into pure fanwork by 'episode' 6, and by now includes elements from the original anime, the movies, and the games. That 'rationalization' has yet to be made public (if it ever will) but this story is based on that rewrite, with the element of 'the legendaries have a chatroom and interfere' on top of it, along with a... couple of other things. Hopefully things are sufficiently different for them to be interesting. This prologue section will be immediately followed (in the second chapter) by a cribsheet containing all the chat handles you'll need to know, so I won't need to put reminders at the top of each other chapter.
> 
> Also, by necessity, some legendaries won't appear for quite some time. These are the Pokémon whose canon appearances don't 'begin' for some time (Jirachi and Manaphy), the ones who have yet to be created (Mewtwo, Genesect and Type:Null/Silvally), the ones who have not yet been discovered (Meltan/Melmetal and Kubfu/Urshifu) and the two considered at this point in time to be villains (Necrozma and Eternatus).
> 
> As with Legendtrapped, I've tried to adjust the handle colors so they're easier to read against a white background, but please let me know if anything's too difficult to read and I'll adjust them further.

[ADMIN] theOne: Before we close off for the day, there’s something I’d like to make everybody aware of.  
[ADMIN] theOne: You might be especially interested in this, Lugia.  
[MOD] beastieBirb: Oh?  
thunderbirbTwo: tell me he’s getting a vacation  
[MOD] skylineCrash: Shut up, Zapdos.  
[ADMIN] theOne: Ash Ketchum is beginning his journey tomorrow.  
[MOD] beastieBirb:  
[MOD] beastieBirb:  
[MOD] beastieBirb:  
[MOD] beastieBirb: SHIT I DIDN’T THINK IT WAS SO SOON  
beastieBirb [BB] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] theOne: I’d like to remind everybody not to interfere unless it’s a dire emergency.  
[ADMIN] theOne: No, Hoopa, ‘being bored’ doesn’t count as being a dire emergency.  
oddityOdyssey: aww  
crystallineSlush: So everything we discussed before, does that still stand?  
crystallineSlush: Where it comes to keeping an eye on him?  
[ADMIN] theOne: If you must, do it from a distance.  
[ADMIN] theOne: He must grow into his role as Chosen One naturally. It cannot be forced.  
[ADMIN] theOne: No direct contact unless it’s absolutely necessary.  
thunderbirbTwo: hey uh quick question  
[ADMIN] theOne: What is it, Zapdos?  
thunderbirbTwo: does talking to him count as direct contact  
[ADMIN] theOne: …  
thunderbirbTwo: only he’s been in the kanto memo for a couple of months  
thunderbirbTwo: he’s in there talking to art rn

* * *

offensiveGlaceon: Well  
offensiveGlaceon: Yeah  
offensiveGlaceon: That’s kinda how it works  
ultimateTrainer: um, okay.  
ultimateTrainer: i guess that just means i’ll have to do it too!  
offensiveGlaceon: Sure  
offensiveGlaceon: Fair warning if you throw one of those balls at me I am going to throw one at you  
ultimateTrainer: do you do that to all the trainers who try to capture you?  
offensiveGlaceon: Nah most of em don’t even get close  
thunderbirbTwo: hey art jig’s up  
offensiveGlaceon: What  
theOne [TO] responded to [Kanto General].  
poryBot [PB] assigned theOne [TO] the ‘administrator’ role.  
offensiveGlaceon: Shit  
ultimateTrainer: hi arceus!  
[ADMIN] theOne: Wh  
[ADMIN] theOne: How do you know who I am?  
ultimateTrainer: mew gave me a crib sheet!  
[ADMIN] theOne: …I see.  
[ADMIN] theOne: Well, that mostly takes the wind out of what I was going to say.  
[ADMIN] theOne: I apologize for all this, Ash Ketchum. You should not have had to endure this disruption prior to your journey.  
ultimateTrainer: actually it’s been very helpful!  
[ADMIN] theOne: …it… has?  
ultimateTrainer: yeah! the birds and mew have been giving me tips!  
offensiveGlaceon: See Arceus  
offensiveGlaceon: We can be useful  
[ADMIN] theOne: I must confess. I was hoping that you would not become involved in all of… this.  
[ADMIN] theOne: You should have had a perfectly ordinary journey to look forward to.  
[ADMIN] theOne: And again I apologize, for in the few minutes since learning about this I had considered asking Uxie to remove your memories of us.  
thunderbirbTwo: boo  
ultimateTrainer:  
ultimateTrainer: well… i guess…  
offensiveGlaceon: No  
offensiveGlaceon: You don’t have to take this lying down  
offensiveGlaceon: What happened to Greatest Master Ever  
offensiveGlaceon: You don’t have to take shit from him  
ultimateTrainer: but he’s arceus!  
thunderbirbTwo: so what  
thunderbirbTwo: hey arceus if you want him you’re gonna have to go through me  
offensiveGlaceon: And me  
offensiveGlaceon: And Moltres  
offensiveGlaceon: Who buggered off at some point  
offensiveGlaceon: And I’m sure that Mew said if you did anything she was gonna join his team immediately  
ultimateTrainer: guys you don’t have to do that for me.  
ultimateTrainer: i don’t even know how i got here, the chat just… appeared on my phone.  
[ADMIN] theOne: You would go so far for him?  
offensiveGlaceon: Hell yes  
thunderbirbTwo: yeah  
[ADMIN] theOne: Hm. Perhaps you’re learning.  
thunderbirbTwo: so you won’t do it  
[ADMIN] theOne: Well, Zapdos, if you’d paid attention to what I said, you’d have noticed I said that I’d *considered* it.  
[ADMIN] theOne: I decided not to.  
[ADMIN] theOne: And Uxie immediately rejected it on moral grounds anyway.  
ultimateTrainer: so…  
[ADMIN] theOne: There is a single stipulation, Ash Ketchum.  
[ADMIN] theOne: You cannot mention us to *anybody*.  
[ADMIN] theOne: I can bend the rules for you and you alone but I cannot break them.  
[ADMIN] theOne: You must keep this a secret.  
offensiveGlaceon: Or what  
ultimateTrainer: no i get it.  
ultimateTrainer: thanks!  
ultimateTrainer: you’d better watch out articuno my squirtle and i are gonna catch you! :p  
[ADMIN] theOne: …  
[ADMIN] theOne: You bounced back quick.  
ultimateTrainer: it’s mew’s number one rule!  
ultimateTrainer: stay positive!  
thunderbirbTwo: yeah  
thunderbirbTwo: you tell him  
[ADMIN] theOne: …Articuno, does Lugia know about this?  
offensiveGlaceon: Why would we tell Lugia about it  
[ADMIN] theOne: …  
[ADMIN] theOne: I had asked everybody to avoid direct contact, but perhaps that’s better refined to avoiding *physical* contact.  
[ADMIN] theOne: Understood, @decibelDrama?  
[MOD] decibelDrama: aww how’d you know i was here?  
thunderbirbTwo: tbf you didn’t go afk  
[MOD] decibelDrama: shit.  
[MOD] decibelDrama: well, instruction understood, grandad.  
[ADMIN] theOne: And watch your language, all of you.  
[ADMIN] theOne: Ash is *nine*.  
ultimateTrainer: i’ll be ten tomorrow!  
[ADMIN] theOne: That’s irrelevant!  
[ADMIN] theOne: Shouldn’t you be getting some sleep before tomorrow?  
ultimateTrainer: yes okay.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] theOne: We shouldn’t be encouraging him.  
offensiveGlaceon: Why not  
[ADMIN] theOne: I don’t want him to go through his journey under the assumption that he can get help from us at any point.  
[ADMIN] theOne: I’m going to have to draft a new set of rules now…  
[MOD] decibelDrama: already drafted em they’re on your desk.  
[ADMIN] theOne: …what desk?


	2. Mew's Cribsheet

as promised, here’s that cribsheet of our usernames, because as you said, it gets very confusing! plus some comments and stuff, w/e. they’re in alphabetical order by username abbreviation.

free reminder: yes, some of us aren’t unique. we know! there’s like a dozen mew around the world right now. so if for any reason you come across a legendary who won’t talk to you they’re not the prime and you should let the prime know in chat so we can come clear it up as fast as possible.

BB - beastieBirb  
lugia. he *says* he’s from johto but he spends most of his time in the orange islands shouting at the kanto birds who don’t live in kanto.

BC - biologicalComputer  
regigigas. unique. don’t expect any intelligible conversation, or at least one that doesn’t last less than an hour. you know how computers get slower the older they are? regigigas is basically as old as the planet. do the math.

BG - blazingGlory  
entei. he’s a bit boring.

BN - barkNecessarily  
xerneas. unique. it’s okay if you don’t understand him because his accent is extremely strong (and by extremely strong, i mean extremely xtrong). he’s a nice guy for the most part but don’t talk to him about rock and steel types.

BS - bosunSoul  
manaphy. or at least, it *would* be manaphy if any of them were interested in being prime right now. the name’s kinda reserved until then.

BT - boltfromTheblue  
raikou. he’s a lazy idiot who’d rather sit around and play games all day than do work, like the rest of us have to do most of the time. (i mean, i know *i* get a lot of flak for being playful and irritating, but i actually do the stuff i’m meant to do, eventually.)

CB - cumuloBurnout  
thundurus. unique. he’s like me in that he does most things for shits and giggles but unlike me he won’t hesitate to actually hurt someone if he thinks it’s funny.

CM - chasingMendacity  
zekrom. he calls himself the champion pokémon of ideals, if you buy into that. he doesn’t have an indoor voice so if you meet him you’ll probably get deafened. and/or zapped accidentally.

CO - codeOscillation  
regidrago. unique. all of the regis talk weird but regigigas quit building drago halfway through so he/she/it/thing breaks down all the time.

CS - crystallineSlush  
suicune. i’m biased because i hate water so i can freely say she’s a menace to all of catkind but at least she's sensible.

CW - counterweightWillow  
azelf. unique. all three of the lake guardians are just really nice guys, except don’t call them guys ‘cause they use they/them.

DD - decibelDrama  
mew. it’s me! best pokémon in the world.

DN - dantesNferno  
moltres. you know all about moltres by now but i want it on record that he doesn’t shut up at all.

DN2 - disavowedNegotiation  
tethera. she’s actually a galarian form moltres which is still a moltres but she’s got a nickname so we don’t get them confused. if she compliments you it’s probably a disguised insult.

DT - dualistTao  
kyurem. not a nice guy. he’s great when you get to know him but he doesn’t want to get to know you.

DU - downUndertaker  
spectrier. unique. technically only half a pokémon since yveltal accidentally killed half of him, glastrier is the other half. extremely australian, mate.

DW - doctorWhom  
dialga. unique, as if it wasn’t obvious. don’t ask him to do anything time-related for fun because he’ll tell you it isn’t fun.

GG - galvanizedGubbins  
registeel. another regi, not much to see here, moving on.

GN - glacierNinepin  
regice. ditto (but not an actual ditto).

GO - grassrootsOptimism  
shaymin. really really nice and a super fun pokémon to be with. at least, the prime is. the rest of her species have a reputation for being jerks.

GS - groundShaker  
groudon. unique. groudon is a 50/50 pokémon. either he’s fighting kyogre or he’s recuperating after rayquaza beat him up for fighting kyogre.

GW - gallimaufryWheeze  
mesprit. unique. see previous comment about azelf. don’t touch their tails or you’ll lose all your emotion and turn into tapu fini. (zing!)

MB - monkeyBusiness  
zarude. *very* zarude. she sort of quietly hates everyone including everybody she hasn’t met.

MC - mordantConcept  
reshiram. basically a living lie detector, if you tell a direct untruth in chat and he’s there he’s morally obligated to call you out on it. really annoying.

MG - mistyGreensward  
calyrex. unique. calyrex would be fun except his memory’s like cheese and the only thing he can remember most of the time is that he has a grudge against basically everybody, even if he made it up at some point. he thinks he’s king of galar though and expects everybody to serve him.

MM - mechaMarvel  
magearna. unique. actually a human-made pokémon. subdued a lot of the time but if you motivate her she *goes*. and usually attacks you. i think she kinda hates me for saying ‘that grinds my gears’ around her a lot.

MO - moltenOpportunity  
heatran. i don’t really know this guy, the only thing i know is that he’s blind.

MS - moietySatellite  
lunala. unique. she’s one of those paradoxes that seem really sweet and stuff but try to play with them and they turn into a nightmare. she likes roleplaying but nobody can keep up with her when she does it.

MT - milestoneTwister  
tornadus. unique. see previous comment about thundurus. these two are brothers and they really like picking on humans.

MU - monarchUkulele  
tapu lele. unique. island guardian from alola. nice, but not that quick on the uptake. gets confused a lot. has to spend most of her time clearing up after the rest of the tapu.

NB - necroticBlame  
yveltal. unique. if you thought xerneas’s accent was strong yveltal is almost unyntellygyble. if you meet her she’ll try to be careful but she just kills things by accident a lot of the time.

ND - nebulaDiscursor  
deoxys. unique (we think). it’s an alien who’s basically in super-detention after crashing an asteroid into arceus. he can’t spell for shit so you may need a translator.

NG - nominalGneiss  
regirock. regi #4, nothing new, although he has a habit of disappearing when you’re not looking at him.

NM - notaryMemento  
uxie. unique. lake guardian #3, nothing new. does a lot of memory-related stuff.

NN - neverNadir  
zygarde. unique. chief party pooper who takes everything seriously. try to involve him in anything fun and he’ll shut you down immediately.

NT - nestedTempo  
latios. he does a lot of music work and he’s a great guy to hang out with but he gets overshadowed by latias most of the time and the two of them sort of come as a package deal.

NU - nightmareUnleaded  
darkrai. handle says it all, really. he only really operates because he hates all of us.

OC - overClocker  
regieleki. unique. regi #5, it quotes from wikipedia a lot.

OG - offensiveGlaceon  
articuno. again, you know art. don’t need to say anything else.

OG2 - ominousGaze  
yan, galarian articuno. same deal as tethera. she won’t even bother disguising it though, she’s really really *really* mean.

OM - octetMelody  
meloetta. unique. positive: she sings all the time and it’s really nice! negative: she sings *all the time*.

OO - oddityOdyssey  
hoopa. unique. he’s usually bouncy and annoying, just like me with less of the charm, but he’s been really subdued lately. dunno why.

OS - onshoreSteamer  
volcanion. unique. i’ve never spoken to this guy. apparently he doesn’t really speak to anyone else either. everyone just holds both sides of the conversation for some reason.

OT - outtaTime  
celebi. uniqueish. she’s a time travelling troll. there are multiple of her but it’s the same her just at different points in ‘her own personal timeline’. basically she’s a pest and that’s all you need to know.

SB - swordBravo  
cobalion. unique. leader of an unovan group called the swords of justice, who go around saving pokémon in need. great stuff but the guy himself is insufferable.

SC - skylineCrash  
rayquaza. unique. big green dragon sounds like he’d be a fun guy but he spends most of his life with a migraine after dealing with groudon and kyogre. (and trust me, i took over for him once, and that nearly put me out of commission for a week.)

SG - scimitarGamma  
virizion. unique. another sword of justice (see the theme naming?) except much more personable. if cobalion is the face she’s the voice.

SM - solarMaverick  
solgaleo. unique. he defuses arguments a lot, which is no fun. if you let him he’ll be all up in your personal business so i just don’t talk to him.

SO - surfeitObjection  
keldeo. unique… um… yeah. unique *now*. the swords of justice are going to start training him soon.

SS - sevenStar  
marshadow. unique. don’t know anything about this guy, he always vanishes when i try to talk to him.

ST - sabreTango  
terrakion. unique. sword of justice #3, the muscle. more friendly than cobalion but not as savvy as virizion.

SU - stockadeUpheaval  
tapu bulu. unique. another island guardian, somehow even lazier than raikou. don’t let his talking deceive you, he talks people into doing things that he’s too lazy to do.

SW - sleuthWolf  
zacian. unique. sword doggo, probably the sanest legendary in galar, which doesn’t amount to much.

TB - tsunamiBeluga  
kyogre. unique. like groudon, she’s either fighting him or resting after rayquaza broke them up. also very lazy but if you were a giant whale you’d be lazy too.

TD - topiaryDreamscape  
cresselia. she tends to poke around in peoples dreams without their permission so be careful. other than that she’s nice except for when darkrai’s mentioned.

TM - twiceMulticolored  
ho-oh. for me it’s hard to tell with him because he gets a new personality every time he’s reborn, but this time around he’s just a responsible guy, which is refreshing kinda.

TN - tenaciousNova  
latias. cute exterior, like me, but what she really *really* wants is to be the main character. i don’t need that because i’m the main character already.

TO - theOne  
arceus. obviously unique. you know about arceus. the original one. or, to me, grandad.

TS - thousandSiroccos  
landorus. unique. remember tornadus and thundurus? this guy is the guy who’s supposed to stop them from misbehaving and fixing all of their problems, kind of like rayquaza is to groudon and kyogre.

TT - thunderbirbTwo  
zapdos. again, you know her.

TT2 - turboTrample  
tyan (galarian zapdos). just as mean as his siblings. they’re not actually related to the kanto birds even if they say they are.

TU - tempestsUproar  
zeraora. probably not unique, we don’t know, because he won’t speak to any of us.

UD - usuriousDrubbing  
glastrier. unique. the other half of spectrier as mentioned above. he claims he was brought up in a gang but can’t prove it.

UM - upriverMarlin  
tapu fini. unique, island guardian #3. sleeps most of the time, and otherwise, eh, she’s kind of a wet blanket. she doesn’t get excited about anything.

UN - unilateralNucleate  
diancie. unique. she’s kind of… hoity? is that a word? she’s kind of like a younger, female version of calyrex, except kalos doesn’t actually have a throne. she’s more willing to make exceptions though.

US - unabatedStimulus  
tapu koko. unique, island guardian #4, unequivocally the second most fun pokémon on this list (behind yours truly). he’s not afraid to throw seriousness out of the window.

WC - winCondition  
victini. unique. the only words i can use to describe him i refuse to say to a 9-year-old.

WD - walkaboutDistributor  
palkia. unique, again obviously. like dialga, except more easily annoyed.

WG - wishGranted  
jirachi. unique, although like manaphy, the username is sort of reserved. jirachi only wakes up for about a week every thousand years, which is disappointing since he’s a blast to hang around with.

WS - welshStaccato  
zamazenta. unique. shield doggo, very easily distracted. tell him there’s a skwovet about and he’ll go hunting it for hours.

WW - wonkyWindlass  
giratina. unique. not the best social pokémon but he's the one who set this whole chat thing up so he's cool.

[There are some hand-typed additions to the bottom of this list.]

UT - ultimateTrainer  
ash, obviously.

TW - tropicalWaterfall  
misty.

UB - unassumingBoulder  
brock.

DS - doodleStarly  
verity.

MW - mythicWisteria  
sorrel.


	3. Episode 1 (I Choose You!)

offensiveGlaceon [OG] joined memo GOTTA KETCHUM ALL on board THE LEGENDARIUM.  
> General Ash Ketchum discussion. There are currently [6] users present.  
> Be *especially* mindful of the rules. We shouldn’t even be doing this.  
> Type /rules to view the rules and guidelines.  
> Present administrators: doctorWhom [DW]  
> Present moderators: counterweightWillow [CW], decibelDrama [DD], twiceMulticolored [TM], poryBot [PB]  
> Present users: crystallineSlush [CS], unabatedStimulus [US]  
> Your current username setting is: [SHORT]. Type /names short or /names real to change this.  
> MOTD: happy birthday ash! -DD

OG: Yooooo  
[MOD] DD: yooooo!  
OG: Kinda figured there’d be more peeps here  
OG: Everyone’s busy then  
[ADMIN] DW: I’m only here by sheer virtue of time travel.  
US: i got stuff to do but i cant be bothered  
US: listenin to this stuff is more entertaining  
OG: How’s he doing  
OG: Who’s got eyes on  
[ADMIN] DW: Mew and Suicune.  
[ADMIN] DW: As I understand it it’s an… inauspicious start.  
US: sounds to me like that pikachu needs a kick up the ass  
OG: Wait what  
OG: Pikachu  
OG: What happened to his Squirtle  
[MOD] DD: he overslept.  
[MOD] DD: he arrived at the lab looooong after the other new trainers and whoops.  
[MOD] DD: he gets a misbehaving pikachonk.  
OG: How do you know that  
OG: Are you the Pikachu  
[MOD] DD: ha i wish!  
[MOD] DD: but srsly i was a pidgey looking in through the window.  
CS: Whoa!  
US: what  
CS: I’m pretty sure that was an aura spike!  
[MOD] CW: we know that (ash) may wield (aura)  
[MOD] CW: this is not a (surprise)  
CS: Yes but it takes weeks of training just to do anything with!  
CS: I think he just did it by accident!  
OG: We should get Hoopa to set us up with a ring to watch through  
[ADMIN] DW: Absolutely not.  
[MOD] DD: oh yeah!  
[MOD] DD: that’s a great idea!  
[ADMIN] DW: No it isn’t!  
[MOD] DD: you’re from the future your argument is invalid.  
[MOD] DD: and skadoosh!  
oddityOdyssey [OO] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
OO: allez-hooparing!  
[ADMIN] DW: Damn it, Mew.  
oddityOdyssey [OO] began streaming!  
[ADMIN] DW: No. Stop.  
[ADMIN] DW: If anybody sees that ring we’re all in for it.  
[MOD] DD: oh relax i’ve got it.  
[MOD] DD: thank you kecleon camouflage!  
OG: Yeah nice but where’s Ash  
[MOD] DD: hold on lemme find him.  
[MOD] DD: sui where’d ash go?  
CS: What?  
CS: Crap, I lost track of him.  
US: nice one  
[MOD] DD: great.  
[MOD] DD: guess i’m going human hunting!  
OG: How can you have lost him already  
OG: It’s been what two hours  
OG: Anyway what happened to Lugia wasn’t he gonna be here  
US: oh he hard panicked  
[MOD] TM: I’m filling in.  
OG: How are you filling in  
[MOD] TM: Badly.  
OG: @ultimateTrainer where are you  
OG: Was worth a shot  
OO: hoopa turning off ring for the moment  
OO: hoopa getting sick  
[MOD] DD: hey there’s a thought.  
[MOD] DD: i’m gonna look up how steadicam gimbals work.  
OG: Welp  
OG: @unabatedStimulus how’s Alola  
US: hot  
US: sols determined to give us all sunstroke  
CS: Uh.  
CS: Mew is it just me or is there suddenly a storm over there?  
[MOD] DD: over where?  
[MOD] DD: uh yes.  
CS: I wasn’t aware that it was going to storm here today…  
CS: Wait.  
CS: Is that  
CS: @CHASINGMENDACITY ZEKROM!!!!!!  
[MOD] DD: oh you’re shitting me!  
[MOD] TM: omw  
CS: OW  
[MOD] DD: OW  
OG: What  
OG: What happened  
OG: Hoopa turn the ring back on  
OG: Cheers  
[MOD] DD: ow ow ow ow ow.  
[MOD] DD: hey sui did your eyeballs just explode?  
CS: Feels like it.  
CS: Did I say ow?  
CS: Ow.  
chasingMendacity [CM] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
CM: SOMEONE CALLED  
CM: WHATEVER IT IS I DIDN’T DO IT  
CS: I know it was you!  
CM: PROVE IT  
CM: I’M NOWHERE NEAEORIJAWE[’O  
[MOD] TM: Got him.  
US: nice  
[MOD] DD: dammit zek arceus said no direct boosts!  
[MOD] DD: you could have at least waited until i did it first!  
CM: WHAT AND I’M SUPPOSED TO IGNORE A FLEDGLING HERO OF IDEALS???  
CM: HE WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO DIE  
OG: Wait what  
OG: Explain  
CM: DID NOBODY SEE THE SPEAROW???  
CS: I took my eyes off him for *five seconds*!  
US: rookie mistake  
US: never turn your back on the body  
US: or the chosen one or w/e  
[MOD] DD: found him.  
OG: Oof that looks like it hurts  
CM: HE WAS ABOUT TO TRY AND HAND-TO-HAND THE WHOLE FLOCK.  
CM: JUST TO PROTECT HIS PIKACHU.  
CM: HE’S AN IDIOT BUT HE’S AN IDEALISTIC IDIOT AND I LOVE HIM FOR THAT.  
[ADMIN] DW: Don’t form any emotional attachments.  
[ADMIN] DW: Also, Zekrom?  
[ADMIN] DW: You’re grounded.  
chasingMendacity [CM] fled the memo.  
[MOD] TM: And there he goes.  
[ADMIN] DW: You’d better get out of there before he sees you.  
[MOD] TM: I’m already going.  
OG: Well that went well  
OG: Three hours in Ash nearly died already  
[MOD] DD: looks like he’s waking up!  
US: what wouldve happened if he died  
[ADMIN] DW: I suppose I would have been tasked with revising the event so he didn’t.  
CS: Oy vey.  
CS: I’m so looking forward to when it’s Entei’s turn to deal with this.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: i see you up there @twicemulticolored!  
[MOD] TM: Crap.  
[ADMIN] DW: Oh well.  
UT: did you lose a feather?  
UT: this one looks like yours.  
[MOD] TM: Double crap.  
[MOD] TM: Mew if you could take that from him please and thank you.  
[MOD] DD: lol no!  
UT: ok so i’m gonna try and find that pokémon center.  
UT: pikachu’s hurt.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] DW: …interesting.  
[ADMIN] DW: He knows we’re in the area and he doesn’t ask for help.  
[ADMIN] DW: This may not be as bad as father feared.  
OG: Well yeah  
OG: It’s not like we told him to use us as a crutch  
OG: What do you take us for  
US: three idiots who fight all the time  
OG: Who told you that  
US: lugia  
OG: Fair  
[ADMIN] DW: Out of curiosity and concern, what *did* you teach him?  
[MOD] DD: basic stuff mostly.  
[MOD] DD: we kinda wanted him to give us a serious challenge when he inevitably reached us.  
US: oh hell yes  
[MOD] DD: he didn’t even know the type matchups come on.  
OG: He actually thought going after Zapdos with a Squirtle was a good idea  
OG: We didn’t think Arceus wanted his chosen one stumbling around with no idea where he’s going  
OG: Zapdos used the word magoo  
OG: I don’t know what that means but  
CS: Okay, finally caught up.  
CS: Father, is it going to be okay that he has a Rainbow Wing?  
[MOD] TM: I suppose it means that out of all of us I’m going to be the one he fights first.  
[MOD] TM: This means I’m going to have to find Marshadow…  
[MOD] CW: (i) would think that out of anyone (ash) would be (perfect) as the (rainbow hero)  
[MOD] TM: That’s what I’m worried about.  
[MOD] TM: Well…  
[MOD] TM: It seems like a bad idea but it’s fine for now.  
OG: I think that just describes Ash in general

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it wasn't obvious, this story is mostly non-serious.
> 
> There isn't a segment for every single episode, and episodes aren't limited to one section of chat. You don't want to read a play-by-play of every single action Ash takes, and I don't particularly want to write it. Just for the moments when things get... interesting. And/or the legendaries can provide a good enough commentary. They're not all guaranteed to come this quickly either, I've just got a big backlog right now.


	4. Episode 2 (Pokémon Emergency!)

ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: do normal trainers have busy first days like this?  
[MOD] DD: probably not.  
[MOD] DD: nice work with those thieves.  
OG: TBF we don’t track normal trainers  
UT: fair.  
UT: at least pikachu likes me now!  
OG: If he didn’t he’d need his head examined  
OG: You recharged him with a bike ffs  
UT: speaking of, um, the girl i borrowed it from is pretty mad.  
OG: Girls do that  
OG: They get mad about silly things  
[MOD] DD: ahem.  
CS: Ahem.  
OG: What it’s true  
OG: Anyway she’ll forget about it  
OG: Nice battle btw  
UT: even though i lost?  
[MOD] DD: if you won every single battle i’d be calling hax.  
[MOD] DD: and/or piledriving victini.  
UT: he’s the one who does luck, right?  
OG: Yeah  
OG: And taking all the credit  
OG: There’s a reason we all call him Dicktini  
[MOD] TM: Language.  
UT: actually i’m really glad that chase was the first person i had a proper battle with.  
UT: starting off close to home, you know?  
[MOD] TM: I can respect that.  
UT: oh yeah.  
UT: professor oak didn’t believe me when i said i saw ho-oh.  
[MOD] TM: Few people would.  
UT: i showed him the pictures though and he changed his mind.  
[MOD] TM: CHOK E  
[MOD] TM: You took pictures  
[MOD] TM: How  
UT: my pokédex has a camera built into it.  
UT: it’s really useful.  
[MOD] DD: samuel oak, everyone.  
[MOD] DD: he is a determined man.  
[MOD] TM: You are going to ruin me Ash Ketchum.  
UT: hey it’s not my fault i saw you!  
UT: i just did what i would’ve done anyway!  
OG: Kid has a point  
OG: Not his fault you’re slow af  
UT: why were you heading east, anyway?  
UT: don’t you live in johto?  
[MOD] TM:  
OG: Another good point  
CS: Oh my stars.  
CS: Father you did NOT.  
[MOD] DD: HE GOT LOST LOL  
UT: lost what  
UT: you’re a legendary pokémon how can you get lost.  
OG: Important fact  
OG: Nine times out of ten we’re not gonna know where the hell we’re going  
UT: but you can fly!  
OG: That’s just another dimension to get lost in  
OG: Protip never ask Lugia to lead the way  
OG: We went on a daytrip to Sinnoh once  
OG: We ended up in Kalos  
CS: I promise you we’re better than this Ash.  
UT: are you really?  
CS: …  
CS: No.  
CS: Based on all prior evidence, no we are not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the canon anime, the two trainers who took Bulbasaur and Charmander (Gary took the Squirtle) are never seen or identified. In I Choose You the movie, stand-ins are used in the form of one-shot character Marina and Tierno from X and Y. In this story, those two trainers are Chase and Elaine, who are the player characters from Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee.


	5. Episode 3 (To Be, or Caterpie!)

OG: Hey it’s those thieves again  
TT: what thieves  
OG: You weren’t here yesterday  
OG: They tried to steal from the Viridian Pokémon Center while Ash was there  
TT: big oof  
OG: The building did not survive  
[MOD] DD: i wanna see what ash does with his new pokémon.  
CS: Should we not be dealing with these thieves?  
CS: They’re a threat to more than just Ash.  
[MOD] DD: they want pikachu.  
[MOD] DD: that’s single-target fixation.  
[MOD] DD: ash is fine.  
CS: This *is* a Pikachu that got a jump-start from Zekrom, so we’re on the same page.  
OG: True  
TT: bah zekrom  
TT: should’ve been me  
TT: i had dibs  
OG: You did not  
TT: hey i saw him first

* * *

DN: No, no, *thrice* no.  
DN: End of discussion.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] joined [Kanto General].  
TT: who the fuck

* * *

TT: therefore dibs  
CS: Using a stronger Pokémon to bait attention away from a winning play by a weaker one, that’s… novel.  
CS: Who taught him that?  
TT: not me  
OG: Nobody  
OG: That’s 100% Ash right there  
CS: Yikes.  
[MOD] DD: btw sui you might want to move.  
[MOD] DD: you’re kinda obvious.  
CS: If I go anywhere else I’ll either be seen or won’t be able to see Ash.  
CS: What about you?  
[MOD] DD: you’re bright blue in the middle of a dark green forest.  
[MOD] DD: i’m invisible, what’s your excuse?  
[MOD] DD: @ultimatetrainer big grats to your metapod  
[MOD] DD: i’m basically the mythical of evolution and that was fast even by my standards!  
grassrootsOptimism [GO] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
GO: Looks like I’m late to the party!  
OG: Yeah Shaymin you just missed pretty much everything  
CS: Ash caught a Caterpie and a Pidgeotto, dealt with some thieves again, and his Caterpie’s just evolved.  
GO: Nice!  
GO: Loading up Hoopa’s stream…  
GO: Who’s the girl?  
[MOD] DD: ash destroyed her bike yesterday.  
[MOD] DD: by which i mean zekrom destroyed her bike yesterday.  
GO: I had heard something about Zekrom being where he shouldn’t.  
CS: And because of that, father had to intervene and Ash saw him.  
CS: And got a Rainbow Wing to boot.  
GO: Oof.  
GO: Well, everything’s ok now, it seems.  
TT: apart from the girl’s bug type fear  
TT: which is silly  
CS: Fear of bugs is completely valid.  
TT: it’s still silly  
GO: Hmmm.  
GO: Can’t Cresselia do anything about that?  
[ADMIN] DW: That would count as direct contact.  
[ADMIN] DW: Really, Shaymin?  
[ADMIN] DW: You, of all of us?  
GO: It was only a suggestion.  
TT: wait what when did you get here  
[ADMIN] DW: I’ve always been here.  
TT: creepy as fuck  
[MOD] DD: sui you’ve been made get out of there!  
CS: What?  
CS: Crap!  
[MOD] DD: it was only ash but still!  
OG: And now the girl thinks he’s a weirdo for making weird gestures  
OG: Great  
TT: tbf ash kinda is a weirdo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialga there, desperately trying to maintain the rule that Zekrom and Ho-oh have already broken.
> 
> A little bit of burn through the first few episodes. I am 100% sure this would be the pun used in the episode title if 4Kids had been using puns for episode titles at this point.


	6. Episode 4 (Challenge of the Samurai)

monarchUkulele [MU] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
[MOD] TM: Welcome, Lele, to day five of ‘lost in Viridian Forest’.  
MU: Wait, he’s still lost????  
MU: Is that even possible????????  
[MOD] TM: Ash’s abysmal sense of direction.  
TT: you’re one to talk  
[MOD] TM: No stream today, Mew’s taking a nap.  
[MOD] TM: We’re waking her up once Ash gets out.  
OO: means a break for hoopa too  
OO: glad  
MU: Can I just ask how we went from ‘don’t disturb him’ to ‘watching a livestream of his journey’ in less than a week?  
TT: mew  
TT: but also ash  
[MOD] TM: For reasons I cannot fathom, Ash enthusiastically approved when he found out and shot down any suggestions of stopping.  
[MOD] TM: He wants the highlights.  
CS: He’s having a battle.  
TT: can we not like  
TT: mount a ring on suicune’s head or something  
OO: hoopa is not hoopaflix }>:(  
CS: This guy is *really* committed to his samurai bit despite being a Bug-type trainer.  
CS: Pretty sure that katana’s made of rubber though.  
CS: No - plywood.  
TT: what a shitty sword  
MU: It doesn’t sit right still.  
MU: I wouldn’t want my life streamed to an audience.  
TT: one you’re not human  
TT: two the only audience is us  
TT: and this is ash ketchum here  
TT: he’s loving every minute of this  
MU: I suppose???  
CS: …His Metapod and the other guy’s Metapod are having a Harden-off.  
TT: lewd  
twiceMulticolored [TM] kicked thunderbirbTwo [TT] from the memo. (Reason: Inappropriate.)  
CS: Wh  
CS: What warranted that?!  
MU: What happened?  
CS: A Beedrill swarm just kidnapped Ash’s Metapod!  
MU: Why?!  
MU: That’s just mean!  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TT: what are you waiting for  
TT: charge  
[MOD] TM: That would count as direct intervention.  
TT: direct intervention my ass  
TT: right where is it i’m coming up  
[MOD] TM: Zapdos do not.  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] TM: @offensiveGlaceon @dantesNferno @beastieBirb Somebody stop Zapdos before she gets up here!  
CS: I think you’ve overestimating her, father.  
[MOD] TM: Hm?  
CS: Her intervention would require her to *also* not have a terrible sense of direction.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: @thunderbirbtwo it’s fine zapdos!  
UT: i’ll sort it out!  
CS: Does ‘sorting it out’ involve you wading into a Beedrill hive?  
UT: it involves teaching pidgeotto whirlwind.  
UT: does that count?  
MU: Won’t that also blow your Metapod away???  
UT: i’m still working on that.  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TT: ash dammit this isn’t ok  
UT: i know!  
UT: but i need to fix this myself!  
CS: You’ll have to wait until the morning anyway.  
CS: You’ve been lost for five days travelling during the day, I hate to think what’d happen at night.  
UT: i know!  
UT: i know.  
UT: this is hard.  
UT: but it’s like mew said  
UT: i’m never going to be a pokémon master if i’m using you guys as a crutch all the time.  
[MOD] TM: That’s the right attitude to have.  
UT: that said i’m probably gonna have to ask misty for help with whirlwind.  
MU: Who’s Misty?  
UT: …the girl whose bike got blown up and who is now following me demanding a new one?  
TT: oh is that her name  
UT: it’s been nearly a week since we met!  
UT: how do you not know her name yet???  
TT: didn’t think she was particularly important  
TT: she’d just wander off after a while  
UT: yeah, i… don’t think that’s going to happen.  
CS: Can you at least shout at that other trainer?  
CS: Fairly certain it was all his fault.  
UT: misty already did.  
UT: now i’ve just got to figure out how to teach pidgeotto…  
MU: Is it that difficult?  
MU: I mean, I’m not a flying type, but isn’t it just flapping really really hard?  
[MOD] TM: That’s Gust.  
[MOD] TM: Whirlwind’s awkward because you’re not strictly aiming at anybody, you’re aiming in front of them.  
[MOD] TM: That way the rush from each wing crosses over before it gets there and generates spin.  
[MOD] TM: Then on low power it just makes them so dizzy they just want to leave and on high power they’re just gone.  
TT: so that’s what i’m doing wrong  
UT: that’s really helpful, thanks!  
[MOD] TM:  
[MOD] TM:  
[MOD] TM:  
twiceMulticolored [TM] fled the memo.  
TT: lol  
UT: he won’t get in trouble for that, will he?  
CS: I doubt it.  
TT: scuse me while i go practice then  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] fled the memo.  
CS: Possibly the worst thing that will happen is Lugia has a go at him for teaching something new to Zapdos.  
UT: okay then.  
UT: i’d better start practicing with pidgeotto.  
UT: bye!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
MU: It’s just going to keep getting worse, isn’t it.  
CS: Oh yeah.

* * *

CS: Right, now we get to see whether this has all paid off.  
OG: Did he get Whirlwind working  
OG: We all know that Zapdos did  
CS: For a given value of ‘working’, anyway.  
CS: Misty was impressed with his decision but less enthused about being the test subject.  
CS: Still don’t know how he intends to stop the move from blowing Metapod away.  
[MOD] GW: ConcernedAboutMetapodsEmotionalState.  
[MOD] GW: PresumablySpentNightWithBeedrill.  
OG: Shame we haven’t got the stream back yet  
OG: We need more than one ring operator  
OO: }:(  
OG: Or some actual cameras or something  
OG: This must be how Zapdos feels about her puppet shows  
GO: Spitballing here, but might it be an idea to ask Giratina?  
GO: I know he can control the size of Reverse World portals, so…  
GO: Just stick some cameras through them and then Giratina can move them around.  
[MOD] GW: IntriguingSuggestion!  
[MOD] GW: WillConferWithSiblings.  
GO: Otherwise we’re just stuck with waiting for Suicune or whoever it is watching him to tell us what’s going on.  
GO: Suicune?  
OG: @crystallineSlush  
CS: Sorry, I had to deal with something.  
OG: What  
CS: You remember what Mew was saying about single-target fixation?  
OG: Yeah  
OG: Wait  
OG: Is it those thieves again  
GO: The same ones from a few days ago?!  
CS: Yes.  
CS: They were planning to interfere and attempt, again, to capture Ash’s Pikachu.  
CS: I appropriated some local resources to divert them. They won’t be interfering.  
[MOD] GW: Hmmmm.  
[MOD] GW: SuchPersistenceIsTroubling.  
CS: Ash has found the hive.  
OG: Where tf is my popcorn  
CS: I can see Metapod too. Right in there.  
CS: This may be more difficult than Ash bargained for.  
CS: He’s summoned Pidgeotto…  
CS: Wha  
CS: Oh my stars he just ran in.  
GO: O.O  
OG: AAAAAAAAASH KETCHUUUUUM  
CS: Whoa!  
OG: What happened  
OG: Suicune  
GO: Suicune?  
GO: Did it work?  
CS: I  
CS: Cannot *wait*  
CS: Until Entei takes over for me next week.  
CS: This is becoming hazardous to my health.  
OG: You got caught in the Whirlwind didn’t you  
[MOD] GW: FreeReminderThatWeAreJustAsSusceptibleToSuchMoves.  
GO: I understand that in the open Whirlwind just blows others away, but…  
GO: How does it make trained Pokémon go back in their capture balls?  
GO: Roar, I get, they just retreat in fright.  
GO: But Whirlwind?  
[MOD] GW: TheWayIUnderstandItIsItMakesThemSoDizzyTheyRetreatToRecover.  
CS: Give me a minute to get my bearings then I can find out what happened.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: great success!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] uploaded file "missioncomplete.jpg".  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
OG: Ash you troll  
GO: Wait.  
GO: That’s a Butterfree.  
CS: It evolved again?!  
CS: @decibelDrama @decibelDrama @decibelDrama  
[MOD] GW: MostIntriguing!  
[MOD] GW: WhenWasItsFirstEvolution?  
CS: Two days ago.  
[MOD] GW: WowThatIsVeryFast!  
decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave decibelDrama [DD] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] DD: i’m up i’m up  
[MOD] DD: what happened  
GO: Ash’s Metapod evolved.  
[MOD] DD: you’re shitting me!  
[MOD] DD: hold on i need to check something!  
OG: I take it that’s unusual  
GO: Granted, I think Bug-types evolve quickly anyway, but not *that* quickly!  
[MOD] DD: congratulations @ultimatetrainer  
[MOD] DD: you now hold the record for the fastest unintentional chain evolutions ever.  
OG: Unintentional what  
[MOD] DD: as in not triggered by something like an evolution stone.  
[MOD] DD: think a bellsprout evolving into weepinbell and then immediately using a leaf stone.  
OG: Ah gotcha  
CS: …Is this going to become a Thing?  
CS: Ash evolving Pokémon quicker than normal?  
[MOD] DD: fuck didn’t think of that!  
[MOD] DD: that’s very possible!  
[MOD] DD: okay, new plan: ash gets a wailmer asap.  
CS: NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asserting independence and Showing Your Pokémon That You Care by running face first into a Beedrill hive. This is what happens when Ash gets confidence coaching from the legendary birds.


	7. Episode 4.5 (Moltres Tells You About Pokémon Gyms)

upriverMarlin [UM] responded to [Campfire Songs].  
dantesNferno: Okay, I think that’s everyone who wanted to know!  
dantesNferno: So I’m just going to go over how the League here works, because I know you don’t have one in Alola.  
monarchUkulele: Somebody said something about badges?  
dantesNferno: Yes! League entry is permitted through a badge-based merit system.  
dantesNferno: Trainers who wish to participate in the region’s league must challenge ‘gyms’ and beat their ‘gym leaders’ to obtain a badge.  
dantesNferno: They must obtain at least eight badges from the region in order to be permitted into the League tournament.  
dantesNferno: There are a total of eleven gyms in the Kanto region, as well as a supplementary one on the Sevii Islands and three in Tohjo, which is a little area wedged in between Kanto and Johto.  
dantesNferno: Each gym focuses on a specific type.  
unabatedStimulus: this is the bit where you go on and on without stopping right  
dantesNferno: That’s exactly right!  
dantesNferno: I figure if I give all of you the infodump now you can all bookmark it and come back whenever you need information on it rather than just asking all the time.  
dantesNferno: Though I might as well do it myself and save you the effort. #kantoleague  
dantesNferno: Okay, so.  
dantesNferno: The eleven Kanto gyms focus on Fire, Water, Grass, Electric, Ground, Psychic, Fairy, Rock, Poison, Flying and Fighting.  
dantesNferno: Sevii Isles is another Water-type gym, and Tohjo has Dark, Rock and Ice.  
dantesNferno: Pewter City, where Ash is right now, is home to the Kanto Rock-type gym.  
dantesNferno: Before Ash set off we did a little brainstorming and worked out a circuitous route around Kanto that should bring him to a number though not all of the gyms in time for the tournament next year.  
unabatedStimulus: we  
unabatedStimulus: was it you and ash or just you  
dantesNferno: He had input!  
dantesNferno: Anyway, he planned to start with the Viridian City gym, which is the Ground-type one, but that was closed for repair work.  
dantesNferno: So he’s starting in Pewter instead.  
dantesNferno: Then he’s going to head for Water in Cerulean City, Fairy in Amaranth Town, Psychic in Saffron City, Electric in Vermilion City, Grass in Celadon City, Poison in Fuchsia City, and Fire on Cinnabar Island.  
dantesNferno: The Flying and Fighting gyms in Aureolin Town and Redwood City are a bit too far out of the way.  
dantesNferno: That’s not to say Ash is going to *avoid* them if the opportunity comes up, but it’s a whole balance issue.  
dantesNferno: He doesn’t want to be stuck on the opposite side of the region the day before the League starts.  
stockadeUpheaval: You’ve put a lot of research into this.  
dantesNferno: They light a fire for the duration of the tournament in my honor.  
dantesNferno: The least I could do is understand why.  
dantesNferno: Any questions?  
unabatedStimulus: that sure was a lot of text  
dantesNferno: That sure wasn’t a question.  
dantesNferno: Anything?  
dantesNferno: No?  
dantesNferno: Sol, Fini, nothing?  
unabatedStimulus: yea fini went back to sleep  
[MOD] solarMaverick: I’m sorry, I’m having to split my attention at the moment.  
[MOD] solarMaverick: There’s a really big argument going on and I’m having to play mediator.  
dantesNferno: If Fini is asleep, how come she hasn’t timed out?  
stockadeUpheaval: Probably because you rattled all of that off in less than five minutes.  
upriverMarlin [UM] fled the memo.  
stockadeUpheaval: There you go.  
stockadeUpheaval: Are we finished?  
dantesNferno: Well, don’t come blaming me if you didn’t understand any of that.  
dantesNferno [DN] fled the memo.  
unabatedStimulus: @uprivermarlin hes gone  
upriverMarlin [UM] responded to [Campfire Songs].  
upriverMarlin: Thank you  
monarchUkulele: That was just mean.  
monarchUkulele: You did ask about it and he offered to explain it.  
monarchUkulele: And he did.  
upriverMarlin: If I remained present we would still be talking about it  
upriverMarlin: Moltres does not know how to drop a subject  
unabatedStimulus: im headin over to the other memo to watch  
unabatedStimulus: cya  
unabatedStimulus [US] fled the memo.  
stockadeUpheaval: …he said Ash was challenging the Rock gym today.  
stockadeUpheaval: What Pokémon does he have with him?  
monarchUkulele: Pikachu, Butterfree, and Pidgeotto.  
stockadeUpheaval: All three of which are disadvantaged against Rock-types.  
monarchUkulele: …Oh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Legendtrapped, Moltres is mute and only communicates through emoji, owing to an accident. Here, that accident hasn't happened, and... well, you can see. Meanwhile, there have to be additional gyms of different types because A) Gary obtains more than 8 and B) other trainers have been able to get 8 badges despite the problems with Saffron until Ash fixes Sabrina, and the Cinnabar gym is thought to be closed. Amaranth, Aureolin and Redwood are all names of colours, which fit with Kanto's theme naming.
> 
> He's giving this talk to Alola, because of course, they don't have a league yet.
> 
> I wanted to keep this separate from the actual gym battle chapter because it's just a lot of information to take in at once, and really, it has no bearing on the plot at all, it's just an excuse to show how this universe differs from the anime and the games and also to show how insufferable Moltres is.


	8. Episode 5 (Between a Brock and a Hard Place)

GO: Without being too harsh towards Ash, that went *spectacularly* badly.  
UT: no no it’s fine!  
UT: as long as i learned *something* from the battle, it wasn’t a waste!  
OG: *Dons teacher glasses*  
OG: What did you learn  
UT: well mostly that i need to train my pokémon to defend against their weaknesses.  
UT: we’re doing some training tonight at an old hydro thing.  
GO: Not going to try and catch a Grass-type?  
UT: i *would* but entei’s scaring them all off.  
BG: Oh shut up  
UT: isn’t raikou supposed to be turning up soon?  
BG: He will not  
BG: He has barricaded himself in father’s basement  
BG: And is refusing to come out  
UT: that’s  
UT: uh  
UT: how old is he again?  
BG: Old enough to know better  
[MOD] DD: yeah ash you should’ve gotten by now that age =/= maturity.  
[MOD] DD: groudon and kyogre are almost as old as the planet and they bicker like teenagers.  
[MOD] DD: hey so let me know when you head out to that place and i’ll bring snacks.  
GO: Is that really a good idea?  
[MOD] DD: no it’s a terrible idea.  
[MOD] DD: which is why i’m doing it anyway!  
BG: I don’t approve of this  
BG: You are running unnecessary risks  
[MOD] DD: good thing i don’t need your approval then!  
decibelDrama [DD] fled the memo.  
GO: So, by ‘defend against their weaknesses’, what did you mean?  
UT: well for pikachu i guessed i’d just use the hydro stuff to charge him up again.  
UT: it worked in viridian with a bike, so with a proper power thing it should work better.  
GO: Um, well, probably, but Geodude and Onix are both part Ground-type.  
GO: Electric attacks won’t work no matter how much charge Pikachu has.  
UT: never say never!  
OG: Attaboy  
BG: You’re a terrible influence  
US: if it works lemme know  
US: i would like to know your location  
UT: anyway  
UT: brock’s pokémon seem pretty slow, so i figure for geodude at least pidgeotto can outspeed it.  
UT: and the pokédex is telling me butterfree should know some psychic-type attacks.  
UT: ok i’d better get off my phone and start preparing.  
GO: I’m surprised that Misty hasn’t commented on the fact you seem to be glued to that device.  
UT: she has you just haven’t heard her. :/  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.

* * *

US: @decibeldrama how was last night  
[MOD] DD: it was great!  
[MOD] TM: What did you do last night?  
[MOD] DD: joined ash for a training session at pewter’s old hydro plant.  
[MOD] DD: he got some endurance training, pikachu got charged, butterfree is frankly scary, and pidgeotto somehow managed not to blow the building down.  
[MOD] DD: oh yeah and we all ate a lot of riceballs.  
[MOD] TM: You *what*.  
[MOD] TM: You showed yourself in front of Ash and his Pokémon?!  
[MOD] DD: how dumb do you think i am i was disguised!  
[MOD] DD: okay yeah maybe ash was a bit too chummy with a wild nidoran that he made no attempt to catch, but still.  
[MOD] DD: only pikachu really suspected something but i’m still a good actress.  
[MOD] DD: i didn’t interfere with the training at all.  
US: didnt you  
[MOD] DD: sure i *tried* but ash was having none of it.  
[MOD] TM: Hmph.  
OG: So what’s his plan for the rematch  
OG: It’s 2v2 right  
[MOD] DD: i think he’s entering butterfree and pikachu?  
GO: Against Geodude and Onix again.  
GO: I did warn him.  
US: wheres hoopa  
OG: Probably asleep  
[MOD] DD: okay everyone shut up his battle’s starting.  
[MOD] DD: leading out with butterfree against the geodude.  
[MOD] DD: testing the waters.  
[MOD] DD: nicely executed confusion, direct hit. let’s see wh  
[MOD] DD: oof  
[MOD] DD: welp there goes butterfree.  
GO: :/  
US: dammit  
[MOD] DD: it was a lucky shot.  
[MOD] DD: time to see if that extra charge on pikachu paid off.  
[MOD] TM: A thought occurs.  
[MOD] TM: Mew, Pikachu has now been overcharged on three separate occasions.  
[MOD] DD: your point?  
[MOD] TM: A (minor) boost from Zekrom and he basically deleted a flock of Spearow.  
[MOD] TM: Then he blew up a building.  
[MOD] TM: After being charged by a *bike*.  
[MOD] DD: …and now he’s been charged by a hydro plant, fuck me running.  
[MOD] DD: if anything like that happens i can contain it, don’t wo  
[MOD] DD: WHAT  
[MOD] DD: EXCUSE ME WHAT  
OG: What  
OG: What happened

* * *

decibelDrama [DD] responded to [The Legendarium].  
DD: ASH’S PIKACHU JUST ELECTROCUTED A GEODUDE  
DD: I SHIT YOU NOT  
[ADMIN] WD: What the  
NG: >print: N O T _ S C I E N T I F I C A L L Y _ P O S S I B L E  
[ADMIN] WD: ZEKROM  
DD: no palkia we checked.  
DD: zekrom’s boost got all used up clearing that spearow flock.  
DD: this is 100% ash’s pikachu.  
DD: this is *NOT NORMAL*.

* * *

thunderbirbTwo [TT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
chasingMendacity [CM] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TT: here comes the lightning brigade  
GO: I  
cumuloBurnout [CB] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
US: whoo  
US: thats the sound of a lot of ground types gettin very worried  
GO: What  
[MOD] TM: Well.  
TT: that’s our ash  
[MOD] TM: I don’t think any of us were expecting *that*.  
OG: I am  
OG: So proud  
OG: Sniff  
CM: I TOLD YOU SO.  
CB: /\/ i knew it was possible  
CB: /\/ landy can go suck it  
thousandSiroccos [TS] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave thousandSiroccos [TS] the ‘moderator’ role.  
thousandSiroccos [TS] banned cumuloBurnout [CB] from responding to the memo.  
thousandSiroccos [TS] fled the memo.  
OG: Never  
OG: Say  
OG: Never  
CM: I TOLD YOU THAT PIKACHU’S WELLS WERE DEEPER THAN NORMAL.  
CM: BUT DID YOU LISTEN?  
CM: NOOOOOO.  
[MOD] TM: At the time we were more concerned with the fact that you’d directly interfered with Ash’s journey.  
[MOD] TM: And as a result, he not only saw me but obtained one of my feathers as well.  
TT: even though that was your fault  
[MOD] TM: If it weren’t for Zekrom I wouldn’t have needed to be in the area.  
OG: Nice blame shift  
GO: But  
TT: shaymin’s broken guys  
GO: Sorry, I’m still trying to work out how this is possible.  
GO: I mean, Miracle Eye exists to circumvent Dark’s immunity to Psychic, and Scrappy exists, but…  
GO: Is there a move or ability that *allows* Electric to damage Ground?  
[MOD] TM: That a Pikachu can learn?  
[MOD] TM: No.  
[MOD] DD: or maybe there is and we just don’t know about it!  
[MOD] DD: this turns everything upside down!  
US: hey uh mew  
US: what happened to the battle  
[MOD] DD: what  
[MOD] DD: oh  
[MOD] DD: um  
[MOD] DD: i don’t  
[MOD] DD: i kind of stopped paying attention…  
[MOD] DD: the gym’s kind of empty now.  
[MOD] DD: WAIT WHEN DID I GET WET  
[MOD] DD: AUGH  
decibelDrama [DD] fled the memo.  
GO: So if Mew got wet…  
GO: Maybe he did somehow use Soak???  
OG: TBF if Pikachu can use Soak then it’s still worth an epic freakout  
GO: Hey, Zekrom?  
CM: WHAT.  
GO: I wasn’t part of that discussion, what did you mean by ‘deeper wells’?  
CM: ALL ELECTRIC-TYPES HAVE A CHARGE WELL THEY DRAW ELECTRICITY FROM.  
CM: NONE ARE INFINITE, NOT EVEN US.  
CM: USE ENOUGH ELECTRIC ATTACKS AND IT *WILL* RUN DRY AND REQUIRE A RECHARGE.  
GO: Makes sense.  
TT: natch as legendaries ours are pretty damn big  
CM: I FELT PIKACHU’S WELL IN OUR BRIEF MOMENT OF CONNECTION.  
TT: did you now  
twiceMulticolored [TM] kicked thunderbirbTwo [TT] from the memo. (Reason: Inappropriate.)  
CM: HIS STORED CHARGE WAS AT AN ACCEPTABLE LEVEL.  
CM: HIS *POTENTIAL* CHARGE WAS ALMOST THE SIZE OF MINE.  
GO: So, wait.  
GO: You’re saying that if Pikachu’s fully charged, he’s almost got a legendary-scale power level?!  
CM: BASICALLY.  
GO: Ouch.  
US: not so much ouch as bzap  
GO: All I can think of now is ‘that poor Geodude’…  
[MOD] TM: Hm.  
US: what a shocking turn of events  
twiceMulticolored [TM] kicked unabatedStimulus [US] from the memo. (Reason: You’ve been warned about bad puns.)  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: boulder badge get!  
[BOT] PB: da-da-da-do!  
UT: uh what  
OG: Big grats Ash  
OG: You not only won a badge but you broke physics  
UT: yeah that was pretty surprising!  
GO: You didn’t even know it would work?!  
UT: i just thought i’d ask pikachu to give it a shot!  
[MOD] TM: Question. Why did Mew get wet?  
UT: oh, was she in the building?  
UT: pikachu accidentally set the sprinklers off.  
UT: i kinda forfeited because they soaked onix…  
GO: But you got the badge anyway?  
UT: yeah!  
UT: apparently all the gyms have a secret test of character?  
UT: brock’s was all about resilience.  
UT: you know, not giving up as soon as a battle seems impossible.  
UT: did you know this @dantesnferno?  
dantesNferno [DN] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
DN: I did not.  
DN: I’ll do the research and get back to you.  
DN: Though I will say it makes a lot of sense.  
DN: Simply earning the badges for overpowering their holders every time frankly seems counterproductive.  
[MOD] TM: So the secondary challenges encourage the trainers to fight *smart*.  
DN: Precisely.  
dantesNferno [DN] fled the memo.  
UT: though speaking of brock he’s coming with me!  
OG: Why  
OG: I mean it’s great that you’re making friends but why is a gym leader following you  
OG: Did you blow up his bike too  
UT: ha ha :/  
UT: he’s got a dream of becoming a pokémon breeder and his dad took over the gym so he could do that.  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TT: breeding eh  
OG: Do you have like a sixth sense for innuendo or something  
[MOD] TM: Actually, Pokémon breeding is a legitimate profession.  
[MOD] TM: The title is somewhat of a misnomer. They’re more of a hybrid between field doctors and regular trainers.  
[MOD] TM: They help raise Pokémon for noncompetitive environments.  
UT: that makes sense.  
OG: So I guess you’re off towards Cerulean then  
UT: actually no, we’re going the other way…  
[MOD] TM: Ash Ketchum. You *cannot* be lost.  
[MOD] TM: *You haven’t even left Pewter yet.*  
UT: it’s just a bit of a detour!  
UT: i saw a poster yesterday for a tournament that’s coming up in a place called rota!  
TT: rota eh  
TT: that’s mew’s old stomping grounds  
UT: it is?  
decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave decibelDrama [DD] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] DD: bbbbbbrrr.  
[MOD] DD: rota yes!  
[MOD] DD: i know this!  
[MOD] DD: there’s a ‘hero of the year’ tournament that’s held in cameran castle!  
UT: that’s the one!  
[MOD] DD: ooh i can drop in and give my bro a visit.  
[MOD] DD: haven’t seen him in aaaaages.  
[MOD] DD: if you get the time you should totally visit the tree of beginnings too.  
[MOD] DD: it’s really awesome.  
[MOD] DD: i’ll probably have to escort you but i can do that disguised.  
UT: nice!  
OG: Tho  
OG: Probably the only place Mew could show herself and we couldn’t call her out for it  
[MOD] TM: It goes without saying that you should still be careful.  
[MOD] TM: And I will continue repeating this statement until you’re out of the area again.  
[MOD] TM: It’s a shame, we never did find out what happened to Sir Aaron…  
TT: ash being a hero  
TT: isn’t he one already  
UT: only by your very strange standards.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
TT: uh  
TT: was that a burn  
OG: Y’know sis I think it was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of confirmation there. It wasn’t all Zekrom - Pikachu is just that good. When he’s boosted. The secret gym secondary challenges concept has been shamelessly lifted from Ashes of the Past by Saphroneth on FF.net. Mew and the legendary birds are bad influences. And yes, we’re now going to Rota several years too early.
> 
> The anime breaking the rules of the games happened quite a lot early on in the series, especially where it came to Pikachu electrocuting Ground-types (ex. in Journeys, he can't any more). You can't really blame them, though; Ash's team setup at this point is completely wrong for Brock's gym, and Butterfree's Psychic capabilites were completely ignored right up until it was ditched so Ash didn't have a Bug-type to use for the Psychic gym to force him to go and catch a Ghost-type that would have been part-Poison-type and thus weak to Psychic that he ended up not catching anyway.


	9. Episode 6 (The Wave-Guiding Hero)

TT: so hows the tree doing  
[MOD] DD: oh just shut up i’m not there yet.  
[MOD] DD: it took me long enough to set up hoopa’s ring so you could all watch the tournament.  
[MOD] DD: i can’t just teleport in, i haven’t been here in a long time!  
OO: hoopa still not hoopaflix :(  
[MOD] GW: CheerUp!  
[MOD] GW: TalksWithGiratinaAreProgressingSmoothly.  
[MOD] GW: YouWillBeAbleToTakeALongerBreakWhenTheLogisticsAreSortedOut.  
OG: Some pretty good battling going on here  
OG: Butterfree finally getting some air time without getting squashed  
[MOD] DD: bug-types are just really fragile.  
[MOD] DD: probably why there’s no bug-type legendaries.  
[MOD] DD: wonder where my bro’s at.  
[MOD] DD: last time i was here he just sort of popped up in front of me.  
MU: What *do* Mew do when they get together?  
[MOD] DD: stupid stuff.  
[MOD] DD: bro really likes playing kaiju with lego.  
TT: ngl that sounds pretty fun  
[MOD] DD: the first few times, yes.  
[MOD] DD: it gets stale after a  
[MOD] DD: uh  
[MOD] DD: hold on  
OG: Ow that looked like it hurt  
OG: There’s gotta be rules against that  
MU: I think there is, I think the referee just disqualified that guy.  
MU: See, look.  
OG: Oh yeah  
OG: @ultimateTrainer if I ever catch you doing that I’m disowning you  
TT: can you even disown him  
OG: No but I’ll do it anyway  
[MOD] DD: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
[MOD] DD: @BARKNECESSARILY @BARKNECESSARILY @BARKNECESSARILY GET DOWN HERE NOW  
MU: ???  
barkNecessarily [BN] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
BN: What’x the matter?  
[MOD] DD: NO TIME TO EXPLAIN  
BN: Doex anyone know what xhe’x talking abaaaaaagh!  
BN: I hate teleporting.  
BN: Um.  
BN: Yex that’x really very bad.  
barkNecessarily [BN] fled the memo.  
[MOD] GW: WhatsTheProblem?  
[MOD] DD: i dunno exactly but there’s something really really *really* wrong with the tree of beginning.  
[MOD] DD: my bro’s nowhere to be seen either.  
[MOD] DD: it’s like it’s  
[MOD] DD: sick.  
[MOD] DD: to most pokémon nothing would look wrong, but…  
MU: It’s like a sixth sense?  
[MOD] DD: yeah exactly!  
[MOD] DD: @crystallineslush are you in the area?  
[MOD] DD: if so xerneas might need some help.  
OG: So hold on  
OG: What happens if there’s a problem with the tree  
[MOD] DD: worst case scenario, basically the whole ecosystem for the country goes kaput.  
[MOD] DD: at least that’s what my bro told me the tree did.  
[MOD] DD: @barknecessarily please tell me if there’s something i can do to help!  
barkNecessarily [BN] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
BN: The bext thing you can do at the moment ix xtay where you are.  
BN: I found a major aura leak in one of the tree’x rootx.  
BN: Ax it xtandx thix ix going to turn me into a tree again xo pleaxe xtay out of the way.  
[MOD] DD: gotcha.  
[MOD] DD: @crystallineslush never mind.  
TT: damn it we missed ash  
TT: was anyone paying attention  
OG: He’s doing fine  
OG: Was a little touch and go  
OG: But that guy will not be underestimating butterflies ever again  
OG: Mew you were right about that Butterfree being a demon  
[MOD] DD: ikr  
[MOD] DD: sorry but i’m just trying not to panic over here.  
BN: Mew it might be an idea to take thix to private mexxagex.  
[MOD] DD: yeah probably.  
BN: Can xomebody let Zygarde know I’ll be home late pleaxe.  
barkNecessarily [BN] fled the memo.  
decibelDrama [DD] fled the memo.  
OG: I kinda get the feeling Ash is the only one treating this seriously  
MU: To be fair it is a competition for the title ‘Hero of the Year’.  
MU: I get that it seems to be a tradition but I don’t think most of the locals are treating it seriously either.  
OG: True  
twiceMulticolored [TM] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave twiceMulticolored [TM] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] TM: Apologies for my tardiness.  
TT: raikou again  
[MOD] TM: He seems to have somehow welded the door shut.  
[MOD] TM: The entire building is made of wood.  
[MOD] TM: I don’t know either.  
[MOD] TM: How are things going?  
OG: Ash is probably gonna win the tourney  
OG: Mew and Xerneas are dealing with something at the TOB  
OG: Good times  
[MOD] TM: TOB?  
MU: He means the Tree of Beginnings.  
[MOD] TM: Oh I see.  
OG: You should check out Ash’s gear  
OG: I was totally right blue is definitely his color  
[MOD] TM: Gear?  
MU: It’d probably be better if you just switched on the stream.  
MU: Everybody at the event is dressed in period-accurate costume.  
MU: I tried asking *what* period, but nobody seems to know.  
[MOD] TM: Hm.  
[MOD] TM: Uh  
[MOD] TM: Does  
[MOD] TM: Does Ash know he’s wearing Sir Aaron’s clothes?  
OG: Wait he is  
[MOD] TM: He’s the spitting image of the man.  
[MOD] TM: Younger, of course.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: CELEBI @outtaTime  
current outtaTime [COT] RIGHT NOW joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
COT: you called, your rainbowness?  
[MOD] TM: Please confirm for me that Sir Aaron is not, in fact, somehow, an alternate time clone of Ash Ketchum.  
COT: oof that sounds like it’d be a logistical nightmare.  
COT: one tick!  
current outtaTime [COT] fled the memo.  
past outtaTime [POT] 1,996 YEARS AGO responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
POT: he’s not.  
POT: phew!  
OG: Oh good  
OG: Last thing we wanted was some weird time shit  
[MOD] TM: It’s just uncanny.  
[MOD] TM: Ash, at Cameran, wearing those clothes…  
[MOD] TM: I’m going to start having flashbacks soon.  
MU: Um, I guess I missed something???  
MU: Who’s Sir Aaron?  
[MOD] TM: Sir Aaron was a previous Chosen One, as you can see from Celebi’s timestamp, around two thousand years ago.  
[MOD] TM: He was a master of Aura.  
[MOD] TM: He was  
[MOD] TM: He  
crystallineSlush [CS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
CS: Oh no.  
CS: Father, take a minute. Please.  
MU: Um.  
MU: Is it okay to ask what warranted such a reaction???  
CS: Sir Aaron was… one of father’s.  
TT: one of his what  
CS: In the same way that Ash is one of Lugia’s.  
MU: Oh.  
MU: OH.  
OG: Well  
OG: Shit  
POT: it’s not like i can stick around and find out what happened either.  
POT: there’s about six months of blar around the end of the war that neither me or the boss can get into.  
POT: aaron goes in one side, doesn’t come out the other.  
[MOD] TM: Knowing him, whatever he did, he intentionally blocked you from watching.  
[MOD] TM: Somehow.  
[MOD] TM: He always was good at cheating the system like that.  
OG: Hey um Ash won  
OG: He’s a big time hero now  
OG: @decibelDrama if you’re done can you move the ring  
decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave decibelDrama [DD] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] DD: yeah sure.  
MU: Is everything fixed?  
[MOD] DD: not quite but xerneas says he’ll make sure it is before he nods off.  
[MOD] TM: What, exactly, was the problem?  
[MOD] DD: one of the roots was leaking aura like a sieve.  
[MOD] DD: i don’t know what my idiot brother was thinking letting it go unchecked like that.  
[MOD] DD: xerneas thinks if we didn’t spot it for another few years trying to fix it would have actually killed him.  
TT: ouch  
TT: so basically ash just saved the world  
[MOD] DD: well  
[MOD] DD: kinda?  
[MOD] DD: i mean sure i’m only here now ‘cause ash is here, and it’s xerneas who’s fixing it…  
TT: root cause  
TT: ash  
[MOD] TM: She has a point.  
TT: words i’d never thought i’d hear you say  
OG: So  
OG: Can we put the heavy talk behind us for the moment and just enjoy watching Ash dancing like a prat  
TT: dancing  
TT: is that what that is  
TT: i thought he was being electrocuted  
[MOD] DD: well it was a serious situation but it’s all in hand now so it’s time to think positive again!  
[MOD] DD: and i know just how to blow off some steam.  
[MOD] TM: Don’t do anything reckless.  
[MOD] DD: oh relax.  
[MOD] DD: your rainbowness.  
POT: pfft  
POT: k if i’m all done here i’ll just pop back to the present.  
past outtaTime [POT] fled the memo.  
CS: Who’s that he’s just started dancing with?  
MU: A local???  
[MOD] TM: She looks familiar…  
[MOD] DD: ;3  
[MOD] TM: MEW YOU ARE NOT.  
OG: LOL  
TT: omfg that’s genius  
[MOD] TM: Does Ash know that’s you?  
[MOD] DD: based on the way he rolled his eyes when i winked at him i’m guessing yes.  
[MOD] DD: now @ultimatetrainer this is how *legendaries* dance!  
OG: Don’t look now I think Brock’s jealous  
MU: Forget Brock, look at Misty!  
OG: OOF  
OG: Yeah she not happy  
[MOD] TM: Is that dancing, or is that throwing Ash around like he’s a ragdoll?  
[MOD] DD: care to join us, mr i-once-got-lost-on-a-dancefloor?  
[MOD] TM: I don’t know.  
[MOD] TM: I might get noticed.  
CS: Have I ever mentioned how disconcerting it is when my father starts using sarcasm?  
[MOD] TM: I’m right here, Suicune.  
CS: I *know*.  
OG: What the  
[MOD] TM:  
[MOD] DD: it’s aaron’s lucario  
[MOD] DD: wtf

* * *

[ADMIN] theOne: This is not how I pictured this day going.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Tell me about it.   
[ADMIN] theOne: We find out Sir Aaron gave his life to restore the Tree of Beginnings.   
[ADMIN] theOne: We find that not only is his Lucario still alive but also fit and healthy.   
[ADMIN] theOne: We find out that Ash’s aura signature is very similar to Aaron’s.   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: Still trying to figure out how *that* works.   
[ADMIN] theOne: We find out that the aforementioned Tree of Beginnings was suffering from a long term problem which, fortunately, Xerneas has now fixed.   
[ADMIN] theOne: And we’re less than three weeks into Ash’s journey.   
[ADMIN] theOne: Less than *three weeks*.   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: And we finally found Mew’s brother in a three-day-long queue for the Lego store in Saffron City, but we’ll gloss over that.   
[ADMIN] theOne: What was Lucario’s decision, in the end?   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: He’ll think about it, but he wants, well, time.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: The world he now lives in is vastly different from the one he last slept in.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Otherwise the metaphorical equivalent would be dropping him in the deep end, pulling him out with a preserver, and then throwing him back in again.   
[ADMIN] theOne: As far as I’m concerned, he can have all the time he wants.   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: I don’t know where Aaron got the time/space compressors for his staff, and frankly I don’t want to know.   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: I’m surprised they never exploded.   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: We’re probably going to find out that he got each of us to teach him our respective components under false pretences.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: I’d wager he used a similar method to time-lock the events surrounding his death.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Speaking of…   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Father, I should probably let you know that Ash is basically time-locked as well.   
[ADMIN] theOne: Fantastic.   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: How did he manage that???   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: Is this your subordinate’s fault?   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Yes and no.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Yes, in that Ash has become time-locked because Celebi’s personal timeline is completely knotted around his.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Not *now*, but in about two and a half years’ time.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: And no, because - I have confirmed - she was forced into the first knot against her will and things just got progressively worse on their own.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: The bottom line is that if anything goes wrong -   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: We know nothing *is* going to go wrong, but if anything goes wrong -   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Revising anything like serious injury is going to be next to impossible.   
[ADMIN] wonkyWindlass: BUT NOT COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Give me a little credit, Giratina. I did *create* time.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: The topic drifted a little, I think.   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: A little?!   
[ADMIN] theOne: Thank you for informing me, Dialga. Keep me updated.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Back to today’s events…   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: I think Lucario was not entirely surprised when Ho-oh arrived, though we know full well that Aaron was never forthcoming about his personal life with anyone.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: I didn’t stay to listen in, I didn’t think it was appropriate.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Though… you know Ash wants to get Lucario added to the chat?   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: His argument was that it might help if he had someone to talk to about it for a while, and basically the only ones who are still alive from back then are... well, us.   
[ADMIN] theOne: I… I’m not sure if that’s possible.   
[ADMIN] wonkyWindlass: THATS MY DEPARTMENT ILL LOOK INTO IT   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: I suppose we should really be thanking those thieves.   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: Team Rocket, was it?   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: While their persistence is extremely annoying, it must be said that Ash and Lucario would never have bonded the way they did if they hadn’t kidnapped Pikachu.   
[ADMIN] theOne: Yes, Team Rocket are an… issue.   
[ADMIN] theOne: I considered - like I had with Ash before this started - asking Uxie to just edit their memories a little so they wouldn’t be so much of a nuisance.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: And the reason you didn’t?   
[ADMIN] theOne: Quite aside from the fact that Azelf has taken a shining to them, our discussion was interrupted by Calyrex.   
[ADMIN] theOne: Who told us in no uncertain terms that if we executed the plan we would be tipping the first domino in a chain that ends with the world’s destruction.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Just from removing the influence of a couple of thieves?!   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: I don’t know what you’re surprised about.   
[ADMIN] walkaboutDistributor: You’re always going on about the Beautifly Effect.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: I’ll be back in less than a second, I need to confirm this for myself.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Oh for goodness’ sake.   
[ADMIN] wonkyWindlass: WHAT   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: I ran an experiment by creating a divergent timeline in which they never encountered Ash.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: The instant I did so the space-time continuum disintegrated thanks to a time paradox.   
[ADMIN] theOne: Dialga, experimenting is all well and good, but I felt that. Please don’t do it again.   
[ADMIN] doctorWhom: Sorry.   
[ADMIN] wonkyWindlass: SO   
[ADMIN] wonkyWindlass: UH   
[ADMIN] wonkyWindlass: EVEN IF THEY DONT ACTUALLY KNOW IT   
[ADMIN] wonkyWindlass: THEYRE PROTECTING THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION   
[ADMIN] theOne: …   
[ADMIN] theOne: …Yes, Giratina, they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops I accidentally a movie.


	10. Episode 7 (The Rhyhorn Ridge Racer)

[MOD] DD: not the worst rhyhorn racing i’ve ever seen.  
UT: well.  
UT: thanks for the backhanded compliment.  
UT: can’t believe i didn’t recognize bruno…  
UT: i must’ve seen the pictures moltres showed me a dozen times.  
OG: TBF you just start tuning Moltres out after a while  
DN: I resent that remark.  
DN: I provide helpful and useful information.  
DN: Any difficulties you run into as a result of not paying attention are therefore your own fault.  
TT: hey art  
OG: Yeah  
TT: it’s about time we did something about this  
OG: You have a plan  
TT: i’ll paralyze him you take his island  
OG: You’re on  
DN: I’m right here!  
TT: yes you are  
TT: want to do something about it  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] fled the memo.  
offensiveGlaceon [OG] fled the memo.  
DN: I swear.  
DN: My siblings are the *worst*.  
dantesNferno [DN] fled the memo.  
UT: there they go.  
[MOD] TM: Well, it’ll keep them quiet for a while.  
[MOD] TM: Quiet considering, anyway.  
[MOD] TM: They’re Lugia’s problem now.  
UT: ho-oh, i have a question.  
[MOD] TM: Hm?  
UT: i was reading back through the chat for when i was at rota.  
UT: what did suicune mean when she said i was ‘one of lugia’s’?  
[MOD] DD: uh oh rumbled  
[MOD] TM: Much as I would like to explain… it would be better if Lugia himself did so.  
UT: has he been in this memo at all?  
[MOD] DD: nah he keeps chickening out.  
UT: i get the feeling i’m missing something important.  
[MOD] DD: i’d say ping him now but he’s probably busy fighting the other birds.  
[MOD] DD: eh you’ll be fine.  
[MOD] DD: so long as he doesn’t see the clip of you dancing.  
UT: :/  
[MOD] TM: I confess I fail to see why that’s relevant.  
[MOD] DD: it’s not so much the actual dancing it’s the fact that he was doing it with me. :p  
[MOD] TM: Okay, yes.  
[MOD] TM: That I can see.  
UT: uh  
UT: hm  
[MOD] DD: what?  
UT: well  
UT: you know i asked the other day if lucario could be added to the chat?  
UT: and giratina said he’d look into it?  
[MOD] TM: Yes?  
UT: um  
UT: apparently he’s still looking but in the meantime he figured out a way for brock and misty to join. :/  
UT: he’s set up a whole new memo board for it too.  
[MOD] TM: That… seems like a very bad idea.  
UT: he’s very  
UT: enthusiastic about it?  
[MOD] TM: Yes, Giratina does that.  
[MOD] TM: He gets very excited about things and doesn’t think them through all the way.  
UT: isn’t that what mew does?  
[MOD] DD: hey!  
UT: but it is true.  
[MOD] DD: never said it wasn’t!  
[MOD] DD: difference between us though is when i realize it’s a bad idea i just shrug, say ‘fuck it’ and do it anyway.  
[MOD] TM: Language.  
[MOD] DD: but when giratina realizes it’s a bad idea he thinks everyone’s going to hate him for it.  
[MOD] DD: even if it wasn’t actually a bad idea or wasn’t his fault.  
[MOD] DD: there was one point, can’t remember exactly when, he gave celebi a shortcut through the reverse world.  
[MOD] DD: nothing unusual.  
[MOD] DD: except afterwards celebi got really sick.  
[MOD] TM: Oh, I remember that.  
[MOD] TM: She’d been stung by a Seviper, got poisoned, and just didn’t notice.  
[MOD] DD: yeah.  
[MOD] DD: but giratina was convinced it was his fault.  
[MOD] DD: no joke nobody saw him for nearly two hundred years because he was convinced everybody hated him forever.  
UT: wow.  
UT: that’s really sad.  
UT: that just means we’ve got to make this the best idea ever!  
UT: we’re going to make this work!  
[MOD] TM: Admirable, to be sure.  
[MOD] TM: And I don’t doubt that he’s set the board up so none of us can get in there.  
[MOD] TM: But that doesn’t mean nobody’s going to try.  
UT: yeah…  
UT: maybe it would work if giratina put a couple of mods in there.  
UT: then they could make sure everybody else stays out.  
UT: and i could just say you’re my friends who run the chat.  
UT: which is basically true anyway!  
[MOD] DD: who though?  
UT: well, sorry mew, but you’re kinda…  
UT: impulsive?  
UT: you’d probably blow your cover immediately.  
[MOD] DD: oh absolutely.  
UT: ho-oh?  
[MOD] TM: Hmmm.  
[MOD] TM: It could work?  
[MOD] TM: I think?  
[MOD] TM: Though I wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on it 24/7.  
UT: maybe somebody from kalos or galar since they’re awake when we’re asleep?  
[MOD] DD: probably zygarde then?  
[MOD] TM: Might be an idea to add a third and grab either Dialga or Palkia as well, just to cover our bases.  
UT: i’ll ask arceus about it.  
[MOD] DD: wow.  
[MOD] DD: those positivity lessons are paying off huh :p  
[MOD] DD: he is literally speaking to the original one to put forward ideas just to make giratina happy.  
[MOD] TM: Perhaps this is why he was Chosen.

* * *

walkaboutDistributor [WD] created new memo CAMP CLEARING on board LOST IN VIRIDIAN FOREST.  
> Private board set up for Ash and his friends.  
> Please be mindful of the rules and guidelines.  
> Type /rules to view the rules and guidelines.

poryBot [PB] joined [Camp Clearing].  
poryBot [PB] assigned itself the ‘bot’ role.  
[BOT] PB: poryBot v.2.12 initialized.  
poryBot [PB] gave walkaboutDistributor [WD] the ‘administrator’ role.  
walkaboutDistributor [WD] invited twiceMulticolored [TM], neverNadir [NN] and ultimateTrainer [UT] to the memo.  
[ADMIN] WD: !automod twiceMulticolored  
[BOT] PB: Automatic moderator role assigned.  
[ADMIN] WD: !automod neverNadir  
[BOT] PB: Automatic moderator role assigned.  
neverNadir [NN] joined [Campfire Clearing].  
poryBot [PB] gave neverNadir [NN] the ‘moderator’ role.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] joined [Campfire Clearing].  
twiceMulticolored [TM] joined [Campfire Clearing].  
poryBot [PB] gave twiceMulticolored [TM] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[ADMIN] WD: There. That should be everything.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Im not convinced that this is a good idea zZz  
UT: it’ll be fine!  
UT: i’ll just refer to you guys by your handles.  
[ADMIN] WD: Giratina has set things up so nobody else can even see this board, so you *shouldn’t* have any problems.  
[ADMIN] WD: Nobody apart from the admins, I mean.  
UT: will it be okay that ho-oh and i discussed it with mew in the other memo first?  
[ADMIN] WD: Again, Giratina. He’s deleted the relevant part of the log.  
[ADMIN] WD: What are your friends’ handles?  
UT: misty is @tropicalwaterfall and brock is @unassumingboulder.  
[ADMIN] WD: I’m going to wipe this section from the chat record now.  
[ADMIN] WD: !prunelog start  
[BOT] PB: Messages deleted to bot initialization. Deleting this message in 5 seconds.  
walkaboutDistributor [WD] invited tropicalWaterfall [TW] and unassumingBoulder [UB] to the memo.  
[ADMIN] WD: They get them?  
UT: yeah!  
[ADMIN] WD: Good. I’m out, then.  
walkaboutDistributor [WD] fled the memo.  
UT: this is going to be a little awkward because i can talk to them out loud but then you won’t hear *me*.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Turn on voice recognition zZz  
UT: since when has that ever worked?  
unassumingBoulder [UB] joined [Camp Clearing].  
[MOD] TM: Good evening.  
[MOD] NN: zZz What is even the point if youre travelling together zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz Surely that makes this redundant zZz  
UT: well it’s going to be useful if we get separated.  
UB: Hey.  
tropicalWaterfall [TW] joined [Camp Clearing].  
UT: why *is* that the board name?  
[MOD] TM: Probably because WD thought it was funny?  
[MOD] TM: And good evening to you as well.  
[MOD] TM: *ahem*  
[MOD] TM: Welcome to the both of you.  
[MOD] TM: Ash has been telling us about you.  
UB: Good things I hope?  
[MOD] TM: Well, so far, what’s stuck is that you’re a great cook and Misty really wants a new bike.  
TW: you bet I do!!!  
[MOD] TM: Doubtless Ash has told you a bit about the chat - he’s on it most of the time after all - but allow me to just go over a couple of things.  
[MOD] TM: From what I’ve been hearing I don’t expect either of you to break the rules, but please use /rules to familiarize yourself with them regardless.  
[MOD] TM: If you need any help with the chat, either myself, NN or WD should be around to answer any questions.  
TW: does Ash really come on here all the time just to chat with the two of you?  
[MOD] NN: zZz No zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz In fact Ive barely spoken with him at all zZz  
[MOD] TM: Everybody else is…  
[MOD] TM: I want to say less well-behaved?  
[MOD] TM: Ash is used to them but really they don’t have a filter.  
UT: that.  
TW: :/  
UB: Well, pleased to make your acquaintance.  
UB: It’s getting late so we’d better sign off for now.  
UT: yeah.  
UT: talk to you later guys!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
unassumingBoulder [UB] fled the memo.  
TW: …  
TW: how much *has* Ash told you about us?  
[MOD] TM: Rest assured he has never once described either of you as an annoyance.  
TW: what  
TW: i didn’t  
[MOD] TM: Apologies for my inference there.  
[MOD] TM: After hearing about the bike situation I guessed you might think that way.  
TW: oh.  
TW: …thanks.  
[MOD] TM: …I think I know something that might help.  
[MOD] TM: !motd Ash owes Misty a bike.  
[BOT] PB: New MOTD: Ash owes Misty a bike. -TM  
[MOD] TM: Now we *know* he won’t forget.  
tropicalWaterfall [TW] fled the memo.  
[MOD] NN: zZz That was rude of her zZz  
[MOD] TM: It’s not absolutely necessary to make a leaving statement. You know that.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Still a bad idea zZz  
twiceMulticolored [TM] fled the memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter the human side of Ash's group chat, though as Zygarde points out it's not really useful at the moment, since they're all travelling together and it's much easier to just speak out loud. That'll change, eventually, once we get some more of Ash's friends in here and they're not all together in one place.
> 
> I'm sort of projecting onto Giratina here. I pressure myself to get everything 100% right the first time around, and if I make a mistake I feel that everybody's going to jump on it. A lot of my writing projects never see the light of day because I'm sure there's something wrong with them. But hey, that's the point of shortform chapters. I don't need to describe absolutely everything, and if I suddenly realize I should have set something up in something that's already published, I can just say it happened offscreen.
> 
> Meanwhile, this is a new filler episode since Ash and co. have further to go to reach Mount Moon. Can you believe Rhyhorn never got an episode of its own until X and Y? This sets up Rhyhorn racing as a Thing in Kanto. Plus Ash meets, battles and loses against Elite Four Bruno a very long time ahead of schedule, because the pointless Onix episode from near the end of the Indigo League gets removed. (Don't worry, Bruno didn't use full force against Ash, he's not that cruel. He used a Machop he was training. But he still won, because he *is* a member of the Elite Four.)
> 
> Misty and Brock's usernames have been added to the cribsheet.


	11. Episode 8 (Over the Moon Stone)

ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: so, question.  
UT: did anyone *know* that clefairy are from space?  
TD: Unfortunately that’s my fault.  
TD: I once, ahem, got rather upset with a clan and sent them to the moon.  
TD: With air of course! I’m not heartless.  
[MOD] DD: yeah it’s the really polite ones who get super super scary when they’re angry.  
[MOD] DD: you do *not* want to deal with an enraged lunala.  
TD: Then there was an… incident, with somebody who shall remain nameless, and I forgot about them.  
TD: It turns out that Clefairy thrive in no oxygen and low gravity conditions.  
TD: They basically own a quarter of the moon now.  
[MOD] DD: i hate zubat, btw.  
[MOD] DD: they use echolocation and all but they still keep crashing into me.  
UT: yeah i think brock’s new zubat was one of them.  
MU: Are we not going to mention the Copperajah in the room???  
MU: AKA Team Rocket???  
UT: yeah, i…  
UT: i really don’t know what those guys are doing :/  
[MOD] DD: they really want pikachu huh.  
[MOD] DD: do you think i’d be able to get them off your back for a while by dropping them a random wild pikachu?  
UT: i think that’d be really unfair to the pikachu!  
[MOD] DD: i could always just pretend to be the pikachu instead.  
[MOD] TM: That’s even worse.  
[MOD] TM: If they’re going to such lengths just for a Pikachu, imagine how they’d react if they found they’d ‘captured’ a legendary.  
TD: Just don’t do anything.  
TD: They’ll give up eventually.  
UT: that’s what articuno said about misty.  
[MOD] TM: Ash, I believe there’s a bike shop in Cerulean.  
[MOD] TM: You can stop in there after your gym challenge tomorrow.  
UT: yeah, i guess.  
UT: for some reason misty’s not keen on me doing it and she won’t say why.  
UT: she wants me to skip cerulean entirely.  
MU: That’s a very strong reaction.  
MU: Are you sure she didn’t tell you and you just forgot?  
UT: i’m sure!  
UT: obviously i’m not skipping it but…  
[MOD] TM: Hmm.  
TD: It’s unlikely to be fear-based.  
TD: Based on my observations of Misty around Bug-types.  
monarchUkulele [MU] fled the memo.  
TD: Possibly it’s… embarassment?  
UT: oh, maybe she challenged the gym before and did really badly.  
UT: and she just cringes when she thinks about it.

* * *

twiceMulticolored [TM] began pestering tropicalWaterfall [TW].

TM: I apologize if I’m interrupting anything.  
TW: w  
TW: uh, no, I’m not busy.  
TM: Good.  
TM: It’s just that, well, Ash has told us you’ve attempted to dissuade him from challenging the Cerulean gym tomorrow.  
TM: I won’t ask why, as I’m guessing it’s a personal reason.  
TM: I just wanted to make sure you knew that nothing outside of a most dire crisis will deter Ash from his challenge.  
TM: And then I’m not sure even that will be enough.  
TM: You’re a friend to him - he respects that - but it will take more than your say-so for him to miss a step towards his dream.  
TW: …  
TW: …my sisters run the gym.  
TW: I’m *supposed* to help.  
TM: I see your predicament. Rest assured, your secret is safe with me.  
TM: May I ask, is it because of your sisters you’d rather he avoided the gym, or because you’re worried he won’t take it seriously?  
TW: both.  
TW: my sisters don’t think I’m capable of being a gym leader.  
TW: they’ll let themselves be defeated and give us a bad name.  
TM: Do *you* think you’re capable of being a gym leader?  
TW:  
TM: If knowing Ash has taught me anything, it’s that despite what others might say or do, we forge our own paths regardless.  
TM: If it is your dream to be a respectable gym leader, it is up to you to fight the world for it.  
TW:  
TM: If I may make a proposal, it is this.  
TM: If you are on paper a leader of Cerulean gym, you battle him.  
TM: Don’t allow him to use Pikachu.  
TM: *Force* him to take it seriously.  
TW:  
TW: who *are* you?  
TM: Somebody who thought he knew everything until he met Ash.  
TM: It sounds silly, but…  
TM: I guess you could say he’s my hero.

* * *

TM: Suicune?  
CS: Yes, father?  
TM: I just unironically described Ash as my hero.  
TM: Please kill me.

* * *

UT: huh.  
UT: misty’s changed her mind but she’s bet me that i can’t beat the gym without using pikachu.  
[MOD] TM: Oh?  
[MOD] TM: Do you plan to take that bet?  
UT: duh!  
UT: i don’t need a type advantage to win that badge!  
TD: To be fair, you had a type *disadvantage* when you fought Brock.  
TD: Threefold.  
UT: exactly!  
UT: so using just butterfree and pidgeotto should be easy!  
UT: and if it’s not, well  
UT: then it’s all the more fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no pep-talk like a legendary pep-talk, even if you don't know they're a legendary and you're just sort of spilling your secret to them for no discernable reason. It's not just Ash who's getting an upgrade here.


	12. Episode 9 (The Waterflowers of Cerulean City)

US: hey wait  
US: wat  
US: mistys a gym leader  
[MOD] DD: what???  
MU: Really???  
MU: You didn’t say anything about that, Moltres!  
DN: I *said* that the gym leaders - plural - were the Waterflower sisters.  
DN: First names aren’t given.  
DN: How was I supposed to know?  
OG: Huh  
OG: The more you know  
OG: We finally gonna see Ash vs Misty  
OG: How you holding up Giratina  
[ADMIN] WW: ITS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT ITD BE  
[MOD] TM: How *are* you controlling three cameras at once?  
[MOD] TM: I missed the beginning of the stream.  
[ADMIN] WW: I HAVE CAMERA OPERATORS  
[MOD] GW: Hello!  
[MOD] NM: We Are Currently In The Reverse World .  
[MOD] NM: We Can See Out But Nobody Can See In .  
[MOD] DD: really frees me up!  
[MOD] TM: Somehow it doesn't seem right having the lake guardians doing this.  
[MOD] NM: We Volunteered .  
MU: Uhm, Mew?  
[MOD] DD: yahuh?  
MU: Isn’t this a Water-type gym?  
MU: Aren’t you going to get a bit wet?  
[MOD] DD: this time i’m prepared for it.  
[MOD] DD: light screen/barrier wombo combo all the way.  
OG: Is there a reason one of the cameras is outside  
[MOD] CW: (sorry)  
[MOD] CW: (distracted)  
US: this is gonna be a fast one then  
US: electricity beats water  
[MOD] TM: Ash won’t be using Pikachu.  
US: huh  
OG: Huh  
MU: What???  
MU: Why wouldn’t he???  
[MOD] TM: Misty bet him last night that he couldn’t beat the gym without using Pikachu.  
[MOD] TM: This being Ash, he took that bet.  
MU: I don’t remember that!  
[MOD] TM: It was right after you left.  
[MOD] DD: must’ve been her plan all along.  
[MOD] DD: lull ash into a false sense of security and then whap-bam!  
[MOD] DD: wake-up slap to the face!  
[MOD] DD: anyway  
[MOD] DD: let’s get our water types in here they’ll want to see this!  
[MOD] DD: @watertypes  
[MOD] TM: Suicune will be joining us later. I recruited her and Entei to try and drag Raikou out of the basement.  
US: p sure finis asleep  
surfeitObjection [SO] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
SO: oh hi!  
SO: what’s going on in here?  
OG: Ash is gonna face the water gym in a few min  
SO: who’s ash???  
swordBravo [SB] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave swordBravo [SB] the ‘moderator’ role.  
swordBravo [SB] banned surfeitObjection [SO] from responding to the memo.  
[MOD] SB: I don’t apprciate you distracting Keldeo in the middle of his training, Mew.  
[MOD] DD: tumut  
swordBravo [SB] fled the memo.  
US: what an ass  
OG: Isn’t it like  
OG: The middle of the night in Unova  
DN: Yes.  
DN: Time zone conversion for the Home Regions to Unova is -13 hours.  
OG: I agree with Koko then  
OG: You ass, Cobalion  
DN: Now shut up, they’re about to start.  
DN: I hope Mew’s out of the way.  
[MOD] DD: i’m wedged in a corner up in the viewing gallery.  
OG: Azelf wtf are you doing with that camera  
[MOD] TM: Pidgeotto vs Goldeen. This should be… interesting.  
[MOD] TM: Ash’s lack of Pokémon is going to work against him here.  
MU: Um.  
MU: Speaking to the four birds in here…  
MU: Don’t you *eat* fish?  
OG: Yeah  
DN: We are, however, much bigger than a Pidgeotto.  
US: im vegan  
MU: No you’re not.  
[MOD] TM: The key thing here is whether Ash paid any attention to what Misty was doing any time she battled in the past.  
tsunamiBeluga [TB] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TB: ~~~Someone called  
US: were watchin a water battle  
OG: Whoa  
[MOD] DD: yikes!  
[MOD] DD: did not expect the surface-to-air ballistic fish!  
MU: Have we ever seen Misty’s Goldeen battling seriously at all???  
MU: It’s not like they’ve ever had any battles at rivers or lakes.  
DN: …I don’t believe we have, no.  
DN: Goldeen as a general battler isn’t particularly useful unless it’s mastered Aqua Ring.  
TB: ~~~Why bother with Aqua Ring  
TB: ~~~Just make a new river  
OG: Yeah not everyone can do that Ky  
TB: ~~~Their loss  
[MOD] DD: come on ash you must have some trick up your sleeve!  
[MOD] DD: and you too pidgeotto!  
[MOD] DD: you are never living this down if you lose this!  
MU: Misty’s just playing with him now.  
MU: She’s having Goldeen give Pidgeotto openings that are too narrow to  
MU: Okay, nevermind, wow.  
[MOD] DD: AGH  
[MOD] TM: Using Whirlwind on the pool itself, that’s inspired.  
[MOD] TM: That water is going *everywhere*.  
US: no water in the pool no problem  
OG: Yeah  
OG: You go Ash  
OG: Find a problem you remove it  
OG: Surgically  
[MOD] DD: you call this surgical?!  
[MOD] GW: MewYouMayWantToMove!  
[MOD] GW: AllThisWaterIsExposingYourCamouflage!  
[MOD] DD: fuck.  
[MOD] DD: not a lot of choice in here…  
DN: As much as Pidgeotto works though that’s not going to remove *all* of the water.  
DN: True that’s stopped Goldeen from launching properly, but that doesn’t stop all these Water Pulses.  
DN: …That’s not how Whirlwind wor  
[MOD] DD: YIKES  
US: wtf  
OG: Uh  
[MOD] GW: Wow!  
MU: Did  
MU: Did Ash just get his Pidgeotto to *invent* a move in the middle of the battle?!  
[MOD] NM: That’s Certainly What It Looked Like .  
[MOD] TM: …It started out as a Whirlwind but Ash got Pidgeotto to make the flow cross *behind* Goldeen instead of in front…  
[MOD] TM: …That’s…  
OG: @ultimateTrainer you are so teaching that to me when you get here  
OG: Cause that is AWESOME  
DN: Well.  
DN: Match to Pidgeotto.  
[MOD] DD: yeah, not a lot goldeen can do when it’s being pinned against the floor like that!  
MU: What would that even be called?!  
DN: …Actually, I’m not sure it *quite* counts as a new move.  
DN: The wing gusts crossed behind Goldeen underwater, launching it into the air on Pidgeotto’s terms.  
DN: It’s more like Gust that wasn’t actually targetted at Goldeen.  
OG: Spoil my fun why don’t you  
[MOD] DD: okay they’re both switching out.  
[MOD] DD: kinda makes sense pidgeotto looks exhausted.  
[MOD] TM: So it’ll be Butterfree against… Starmie.  
DN: Advantage Ash, I think. The pool’s not really a viable option any more.  
[MOD] DD: okay i’m moving now before the demon gets going.  
[MOD] DD: crap.  
US: oof  
MU: I’m getting the feeling that Misty wasn’t prepared for the pool to be so empty.  
MU: She’s on the defensive.  
TB: ~~~That wouldn’t be a problem if I were there  
OG: Well you’re not so shush  
MU: Fair to Misty, this is probably Ash’s hardest battle so far.  
MU: That I’ve seen, anyway.  
[MOD] DD: there was one a couple days ago but that was bruno.  
MU: Who?  
DN: I explained to you the Elite Four.  
US: no you didnt  
OG: Ash has this in the bag  
OG: Time to wrap it all up  
[MOD] CW: hm  
US: uh  
US: wat  
OG: Azelf wtf  
[MOD] DD: oh ffs it’s team rocket again!  
[MOD] TM: For crying out loud.  
US: giant vacuum what  
US: mew  
[MOD] DD: i’m on the wrong side of the arena!  
[MOD] DD: if i so much as sneeze i’m going to get spotted!  
MU: Is it just me or does it look like they expected there to be more water in the pool too?  
DN: Cerulean gym is famed for its pool.  
DN: I don’t suppose anyone would ever consider thinking of it as being nearly empty.  
US: go on pikachu  
US: blow it up  
MU: That’s a terrible idea, Koko.  
MU: That would hurt all of the Water-types already inside it.  
OG: Oh nice  
OG: TBH I forgot about that Seel  
[MOD] DD: what happened? i’m not watching the stream ‘cause i’m here in person, and i’m kinda stuck in the stands.  
[MOD] TM: Misty instructed the gym’s Seel to attack the machine with Ice Shard.  
[MOD] TM: I believe it hit something vital.  
US: and here comes pikachu  
MU: NO DON  
MU: Okay then!  
US: see  
OG: Nice tag team there  
OG: Wonder how many Thunderbolts to the face it’ll take before they get the point  
[MOD] DD: and they are outta here!  
[MOD] DD: hey @wonkywindlass we need a new porybot response for this.  
US: well  
US: that sucked  
decibelDrama [DD] kicked unabatedStimulus [US] from the memo. (Reason: boo)  
OG: Huh  
OG: Went over well with the sisters then  
OG: They’re giving him the badge  
OG: Misty not happy  
MU: I don’t think I would be, either, if I’m honest.  
MU: …And Ash isn’t either, wow!  
[MOD] DD: oh ffs.  
[MOD] DD: tried to teleport free and ended up outside…  
MU: Ash gave the badge back to Misty and said it was her call.  
[MOD] DD: he what  
OG: Oh  
OG: Yeah  
OG: I think  
OG: That’s my fault  
[MOD] DD: what how  
OG: Part of the whole giving us a challenge thing  
OG: I said something like ‘badges mean nothing if you didn’t earn them’  
OG: Guess Ash feels like he wants to earn the badge from Misty rather than the others  
MU: …and she gave it back to him.  
DN: Making the entire exchange pointless.  
DN: He should have just kept the badge.  
[MOD] DD: hey, moltres. did you ever figure anything out with the secret gym challenges?  
[MOD] DD: maybe he passed that and we just didn’t notice.  
DN: Oh.  
DN: Not really. They’re kept secret for a reason, it seems.  
DN: We would have to ask Ash to ask Misty.  
MU: Somehow I don’t think ‘saving the gym from thieves’ is an acceptable challenge.  
tsunamiBeluga [TB] fled the memo.  
[MOD] DD: dunno, maybe it could be an ash-exclusive challenge if they keep showing up.  
[MOD] TM: All in all, I think that went quite well.  
[MOD] TM: I can see I’m going to have to bring some points up to Lugia later.  
OG: Where even is he  
OG: He hasn’t joined this place like once  
[MOD] TM: I can understand a certain degree of nervousness, but we’re getting close to a month in now.  
[MOD] TM: …my presence is required downstairs. Suicune and Entei have run into a new difficulty.  
twiceMulticolored [TM] fled the memo.  
[MOD] DD: makes me glad i haven’t got kids.  
OG: Aren’t you like the ancestor of all modern Pokémon  
[MOD] DD: no?  
[MOD] DD: evolution doesn’t work like that?  
DN: That’s a human assumption, like so many, which is incorrect.  
DN: Or, at least, based on an incomplete assumption.  
DN: As I understand it, Arceus was experimenting with genetics during the creation of a different Mew and the egg exploded.  
DN: Or something along those lines.  
MU: I don’t think that’s how eggs work either.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: cascade badge get!  
[BOT] PB: da-da-da-do!  
[MOD] DD: grats ash!  
[MOD] DD: that was an amazing battle!  
UT: yeah!  
UT: pretty tough though.  
DN: They’re only going to get tougher. Gym leaders make modifications to their teams based on the amount of badges their challengers have.  
DN: Were you to have challenged the Cerulean gym with no badges at all, I suspect Misty would have used Staryu instead of Starmie.  
MU: What was that whole thing with you giving the badge back?  
UT: oh right.  
UT: i know they’re the gym leaders as well, but it didn’t feel right them giving the badge to me when they weren’t the ones battling me.  
[MOD] GW: ICongratulateYourMatureResponse!  
[MOD] GW: ISpeakForAllThreeOfUsHereWhenISayWeExpectGreatThings!  
OG: NGL forgot you guys were still in there  
OG: Can probably switch the cameras off now  
UT: yeah, we’re not going anywhere this evening.  
UT: well, i’m going to the bike shop later cause otherwise misty and ho-oh will never let me hear the end of it, but we’re staying in the city overnight.  
MU: Azelf, did you know that Team Rocket were there before they made an appearance? @counterweightWillow  
MU: You had your camera outside for most of the battle.  
[MOD] CW: i had (suspicions)  
[MOD] CW: their actual (appearance) was (executed) in a manner of (seconds)  
MU: Why didn’t you warn anyone???  
[MOD] NM: Azelf Has Taken A Liking To This Particular Trio .  
[MOD] DD: oh ffs.  
[MOD] GW: Language!  
[MOD] DD: this is a willpower thing isn’t it?  
[MOD] CW: while i cannot agree with their (goals) their (tenacity) is (remarkable)  
OG: So long as they don’t actually get away with Pikachu  
[MOD] CW: of course not  
[MOD] CW: will (observe) but not (intervene) unless situation becomes (untenable)  
[MOD] DD: sigh.  
DN: Ash, for the purposes of my records, do you mind asking Misty what Cerulean’s secret challenge was?  
UT: oh right, i forgot about that!  
UT: hang on  
UT: okay you have to promise not to tell anyone else.  
DN: Who would we tell?  
UT: good point  
UT: she says it’s about flow.  
UT: a trainer has to be able to react on the fly and have their pokémon switch between moves smoothly.  
DN: Which you did with that water explosion to tackle maneuver with Pidgeotto.  
OG: Which was awesome btw  
OG: Like I said you’re so teaching me that later  
OG: How’d you even think of it  
UT: i don’t know, it just…  
UT: i figured that i needed to have control over when goldeen left the water.  
UT: pidgeotto was already whirlwinding a lot so i just used that.  
MU: Um.  
MU: Ash?  
UT: yeah?  
MU: You do realize that the birds are watching you make all these tactics and will be ready for them?  
OG: Drat, rumbled  
UT: let’s just say i’m counting on it!  
OG: One (1) fear

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] began pestering unassumingBoulder [UB].

UT: cascade badge get!  
UB: Congratulations!  
UB: I’m still in the queue for the camping shop.  
UB: There was some kind of robbery in the area earlier so everything’s not quite going yet.  
UT: um  
UT: did someone steal an enormous vacuum machine?  
UB: Yes.  
UB: How did you know that?  
UT: it was team rocket. they attacked the gym.  
UB: Oh, great.  
UB: Is everyone okay?  
UT: we’re all fine.  
UT: misty broke the machine and pikachu got rid of them.  
UB: I thought Misty was going somewhere else?  
UT: um, brock?  
UT: didn’t you know that misty’s a gym leader too?  
UB:  
UB: I do now.  
UB: I thought the gym was run by the Waterflower sisters?  
UT: it is.  
UT: she’s waterflower #4.  
UT: her sisters  
UT: uh  
UT: are kind of jerks?  
UT: they treated her as a runt.  
UT: i think my battle with her opened their eyes a bit.  
UB: Sounds like it’s good that I missed it, then.  
UB: You remember what things were like for my family back in Pewter.  
UT: yeah, i do.  
UT: but hey it’s all over now.  
UT: misty’s still coming with us but only because she wants to become a more experienced trainer first.  
UB: Not because of the bike thing?  
UT: oof.  
UT: yeah we went to the bike shop.  
UT: misty has accepted my iou for one (1) bike because all the bikes were crazy expensive.  
UB: Well, you tried.

* * *

tropicalWaterfall [TW] began pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].

TW: um.  
TW: thanks.  
TM: Don’t mention it.  
TW: I guess Ash told you about how things went?  
TM: I believe the term for what he’s doing is ‘humble-bragging’.  
TW: with slightly less emphasis on humble?  
TM: That’s the one.  
TW: has Ash always been… odd?  
TM: How so?  
TW: well  
TW: before it could finish, our match got interrupted.  
TW: between us we both sorted the problem out.  
TW: then my sisters decided to just give him the cascade badge.  
TW: not because he beat me, but because he helped sort out the interruption.  
TW: then he  
TW: he gave the badge to me and said it was my call.  
TM: He did mention something about that.  
TM: The direct quote is:  
TM: UT: i know they’re the gym leaders as well, but it didn’t feel right them giving the badge to me when they weren’t the ones battling me.  
TM: And to answer your question…  
TM: Admittedly, I haven’t actually known Ash for so long. Some of the others were talking to him long before I was introduced.  
TM: He’s…  
TM: Enthusiastic and optimistic.  
TW: you got that right.  
TM: Sometimes, yes, he can be a bit… dense. But his heart is never in the wrong place.  
TM: Has he told you at all exactly *why* he stole your bike?  
TW: something about Spearow.  
TW: I don’t know, I was more concerned with the bike.  
TM: As he told it to us, his Pikachu accidentally angered a flock, and they were attempting to get away.  
TM: He crashed in the rain.  
TM: Pikachu, as is still the case, refused to get into his Pokéball.  
TM: So he made a decision, then and there.  
TM: It was - is - his dream to be a Pokémon Master, so it was up to him to fight the world for it.  
TW: isn’t that what you told me yesterday?  
TM: Word for word.  
TM: He was fully prepared to fight each and every one of those Spearow himself to keep Pikachu safe.  
TM: In the end, he didn’t need to. Pikachu drove them all off.  
TW: he  
TW: he was going to do that?  
TM: Whether it was heroism or stupidity, we still don’t know.  
TM: We have complete faith that he told us the truth, though.  
TM: It’s in that moment that Ash first meant something to me.  
TM: And he’s showing me time and time again that my faith in him is not misplaced.  
TW: wow…  
TM: So tell me, Misty:  
TM: Did that mentality help in your battle today?  
TW: yeah.  
TW: I mean, yeah, I was making Ash take the battle seriously.  
TW: but at the same time I was proving myself to my sisters too.  
TW: I showed them that I *am* a gym leader.  
TM: And from the way I hear it, you’re fully deserving of that title.  
TW: the thing is I could have beaten Ash if I was stronger.  
TW: so i’m not staying with the gym.  
TW: not yet.  
TW: i know i can be better.  
TM: Thus, the core of fighting the world for your dream.  
TW: why *did* you help me?  
TW: you could’ve just not said anything.  
TW: if Ash was going to challenge the gym anyway no matter what I said.  
TM: I suppose it’s something I do.  
TM: I provide inspiration.  
TM: And after Ash inspired me, I felt compelled to pass on the favor.  
TM: I’ll admit that I didn’t want to get too involved in the business of Ash and his friends.  
TM: I was against it, in fact.  
TM: But I became part of it anyway.  
TW: Ash’s enthusiasm was infectious?  
TM: Exactly that.  
TM: I guess maybe I feel a little better myself having done it, too.  
TM: If you haven’t already, could you… not tell Ash that I helped?  
TW: I won’t tell if you don’t.  
TM: Deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to write a battle scene when you're not there with the action, you're reading the reaction. I hope that was legible enough for everyone. Misty gets to show off her competency, Keldeo gets rudely cut out of the picture, and Ash refuses a charity badge.
> 
> I've decided I'm using Aqua Ring as a mechanism in this universe that all Water-types can learn that allows them to battle outside of water bodies (i.e. letting them 'fly' like they do in the games). Fun fact: despite being the first Pokémon that Misty's seen to use, Goldeen never actually used an attack until the middle of the Orange Islands. I've corrected that. With a vengeance.


	13. Episode 10 (The Bridge Challenge Trial)

current outtaTime [COT] RIGHT NOW responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
COT: heyyyy!  
CS: Morning, Celebi.  
[MOD] NM: Good Morning .  
COT: what’s the order of business for today?  
[MOD] DD: well, ash is going in the wrong direction on purpose again.  
[MOD] DD: he must be doing it to screw with us.  
CS: While he’s in the area, Professor Oak requested that he travel to Cerulean Cape to meet with his friend and colleague Bill.  
CS: Ash is taking the opportunity to challenge a sort of trainer gauntlet on the main bridge out of the city in that direction.  
COT: neat.  
COT: no stream?  
[MOD] NM: No.  
[MOD] NM: My Siblings And I , And Giratina , Do Have Things We Need To Be Doing .  
[MOD] NM: We Have Agreed With Ash That We Will Not Be Filming Twenty Four Seven .  
[MOD] NM: We Will Stream If Something Interesting Is Happening Such As A Gym Challenge .  
[MOD] NM: Or We Or Hoopa Can Be Scrambled At Some Notice If Something Unexpected Happens .  
[MOD] DD: and in the meantime i’m just recording this gauntlet with an *actual* video camera so ash can watch it later.  
[MOD] DD: humans make really neat toys.  
COT: aw.  
COT: but sure, okay.  
CS: I don’t know why you’re complaining. You can just skip the boring bits.  
CS: Unless you happen to know that this particular encounter *won’t* be boring.  
COT: believe it or not suikun i still get a kick out of discovering things for the first time!  
COT: sure yeah i know ash and his friends in the future but i don’t keep track of *every* event!  
[MOD] DD: you know ash *and* his friends?  
COT: sure!  
COT: here watch this:

* * *

UT: how’re things?  
WT: Predictable.  
WT: Muk has just eaten another chair.  
UT: didn’t professor oak say he was going to change muk’s diet?  
WT: He has and it doesn’t appear to have worked.  
WT: …Muk is giving me Baby-Doll Eyes.  
WT: *Why is Muk giving me Baby-Doll Eyes.*  
watchThis [WT] uploaded file "mukbde.jpg"  
BN: …I never thought I’d xay thix about a Poixon-type but that’x adorable.  
[MOD] DD: i blame bulbasaur.  
past outtaTime [POT] THREE YEARS AGO responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
WT: I’d argue but you’re probably r  
WT: Celebi what  
POT: hey so is anyone next to mew right now?  
UB: She’s harassing me, yes.  
[MOD] DD: i’m not *harassing* him.  
[MOD] DD: i’m eagerly anticipating lunch.  
POT: tweak her ear for me will you?  
[MOD] DD: ow!  
[MOD] DD: this is karma for yesterday, isn’t it?!  
POT: nope!  
POT: just proving a point to your past self.  
[MOD] DD: my past  
[MOD] DD: oh fuck you celebi!  
[MOD] BB: Language.  
UT: :/  
POT: ;)  
past outtaTime [POT] fled the memo.

* * *

COT: you’re welcome!  
[MOD] DD: what did you even do?  
COT: i got brock to tweak your ear in the future.  
CS: …I don’t know what’s worse, that you did that so casually or that Brock apparently knows Mew in the future.  
COT: casual spoilers, causal spoilers, same difference.  
COT: anyway how’s that challenge coming?  
[MOD] DD: …  
[MOD] DD: as well as he could probably be doing, bearing in mind he’s still only got three pokémon.  
[MOD] DD: all of these guys seem to have only one though.  
[MOD] DD: ash is still going on about his two badges.  
CS: Needless to say, Misty isn’t happy about this.  
[MOD] DD: she’s going off about the bridge in general.  
[MOD] DD: something about trainers beating the bridge and then assuming they can breeze through the gym too.  
[MOD] DD: and her sisters usually letting them.  
GO: There must be some kind of regulations for gyms, right?  
GO: I can’t imagine that anybody official would be happy with the gyms just giving out badges for freebies.  
COT: oh you’re here shaymin?  
GO: Yes!  
GO: I finally managed to catch a break.  
GO: There may be no stream but I’m enjoying the commentary regardless.  
[MOD] DD: not that there’s much of a commentary :/  
[MOD] DD: this is boring af  
[MOD] DD: kinda wish those thieves would turn up to be honest!  
[MOD] NM: Azelf Tracked Them For A While After Yesterday’s Debacle .  
[MOD] NM: They Appeared To Receive A Thorough Scolding From Their Superior For Attacking A Gym .  
CS: I heard how it went.  
CS: Subtle, they are not.  
GO: To be fair, a human-speaking Meowth is hardly subtle to begin with.  
COT: i watched him learning the language.  
COT: there had to be easier ways of doing it.  
CS: Did you help him, at all?  
COT: nah.  
COT: just watched.  
COT: he learned it to impress a female and you know me, i ship it.  
GO: Did he get the girl?  
COT: nope.  
COT: she just thought he was weird.  
CS: Oof.  
[MOD] DD: stop it, you’re making me feel bad.  
COT: there’s a lot to ship if you look hard enough.  
CS: Celebi, no.  
CS: Ash is *ten*.  
winCondition [WC] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
WC: but ashxmisty all the way  
winCondition [WC] fled the memo.  
[MOD] DD: oh piss off victini.  
COT: meh, pokéshipping is so overrated.  
GO: …Pokéshipping?  
CS: Don’t tell me you made up names for these things.  
COT: don’t blame me, blame mesprit.  
COT: and that’s *not* a spoiler because i know for a *fact* that they’ve already named that one!  
COT: seriously they’re obsessed.  
[MOD] NM: Unfortunately I Can Corroborate That Fact .  
[MOD] NM: Mesprit Ships Everybody .  
CS: What, even me?  
[MOD] NM: Everybody . With . Everybody .  
COT: yeah.  
COT: probably the most obvious one on that list is iamanassholeshipping.  
GO: Do we even want to know what that one is?  
COT: victini with himself.  
CS: Accurate.  
GO: Accurate.  
[MOD] DD: accurate.  
winCondition [WC] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
WC: more like iamthegreatestshipping  
winCondition [WC] fled the memo.  
[MOD] DD: inaccurate.  
COT: me, i like my crack ships.  
COT: guardianangelshipping all the way.  
CS: I hesitate to ask what that one is.  
COT: ash and mew.  
[MOD] DD:  
CS:  
GO:  
COT: hey, i said it was a crack ship.  
COT: you guys are just too cute together though!  
gallimaufryWheeze [GW] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave gallimaufryWheeze [GW] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] GW: GuardianAngelShipping!  
[MOD] GW: ThatsAMuchBetterNameThanTheOneIWasThinkingOf!  
COT: oh shit.  
CS: Now look what you’ve done.  
COT: welp i guess nothing interesting is actually happening after all!  
COT: seeya!  
current outtaTime [COT] fled the memo.  
GO: So, wait.  
GO: What did Celebi just do?  
CS: She created a paradox.  
[MOD] NM: Mesprit Uses The Term GuardianAngelShipping In The Future Which Is How Celebi Learned Of It .  
[MOD] NM: And Mesprit Is Only Using It Because Celebi Gave Them The Idea .  
GO: I suddenly have a headache.  
future outtaTime [FOT] THREE MINUTES FROM NOW responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
FOT: that means you now understand time travel!  
FOT: grats!  
decibelDrama [DD] kicked future outtaTime [FOT] from the memo. (Reason: BEGONE, FOT)  
[MOD] GW: IWillBeFairToHerAndNotWriteThatDown!  
[MOD] GW: ImSureWeWillReachAPointWhereTheIdeaWillGenerateNaturally!  
CS: Can we just…  
CS: Forget anybody said any of that?  
CS: Uxie?  
[MOD] NM: No .  
CS: Can we at least get @wonkyWindlass to delete that entire subject from the logs at least? Ash *does* read them.  
[MOD] DD: joke’s on her though, ash just beat the gauntlet.  
GO: Oh, neat!  
[MOD] DD: only just.  
[MOD] DD: he needs another pokémon at least. these three are good but their overall coverage is shite.  
[MOD] DD: if he has to battle an electric-type he’s screwed.  
CS: And he will, bearing in mind he aims to challenge the Vermilion City gym.  
GO: So what’s he won?  
[MOD] DD: give him a chance!  
[MOD] DD: looks like…  
[MOD] DD: oh, a premier ball. nice!  
GO: I forget.  
GO: Does a Premier Ball *do* anything?  
[MOD] NM: I Do Not Believe So , No .  
[MOD] DD: and  
[MOD] DD: oh you’ve got to be *kidding* me.  
GO: ?  
CS: What?  
[MOD] DD: the guy’s trying to recruit them for team rocket.  
CS: …  
[MOD] DD: he’s not even with the talking meowth, he’s just some guy.  
[MOD] DD: ash is p i s s e d  
[MOD] DD: so are misty and brock.  
[MOD] DD: @ultimatetrainer for future reference fighting dirty is perfectly acceptable against these goons. #stackrules  
[MOD] DD:  
[MOD] DD: you’ll never guess who just showed up.  
CS: Is that  
CS: Oh my stars.  
CS: Why.  
CS: You know what, I’m not even surprised at this point.  
GO: You’re joking, the trio again?  
GO: Now that we know that both Misty and Brock are gym leaders, I don’t fancy their chances.  
CS: Raticate, Ekans and Koffing against Staryu, Starmie, Geodude and Onix.  
CS: Yeah, this is going to end badly for somebody.  
GO: Um.  
GO: Question. Are they still on the bridge?  
[MOD] DD: yeah.  
GO: Is it a stone bridge?  
[MOD] DD: no it’s made of w  
[MOD] DD: ok yeah i see what you’re getting at, i’m gonna back off so i don’t get wet again.  
[MOD] DD: hey, did giratina add that extra command to porybot yet?  
[MOD] NM: Which Command Is That ?  
[MOD] DD: probably better to just find out!  
[MOD] DD: !blastoff  
[BOT] PB: What an awful feeling!  
CS: What?  
[MOD] DD: uh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of a sneak peek into the future there, courtesy of Celebi. Looks like by the time of Johto things have reached a strange equilibrium. Oh, and there's some shipping stuff, I guess.
> 
> I moved episodes around here. Bill's lighthouse is on Cerulean Cape in the games, yet in the anime they somehow don't reach it until right before Vermilion, so now Ash heads there *first* before heading south through the original two filler episodes and the three starter capture episodes. This is a new filler based on the Nugget Bridge, and introduces the game Team Rocket plotline. So on one hand you have the TRio showing up repeatedly and being somewhat of a nuisance, and on the other the more organized side of Team Rocket lurking in the background.
> 
> Speaking of, Giovanni takes a more active approach to the TRio this time around, and the last thing he wants are obvious Team Rocket agents attacking gyms. Why? Well, think about it - since he runs the Viridian gym, they are definitely not going to attack it, and if I were somebody in the police, I'd definitely wonder why these thieves attack every gym but one of them.


	14. Episode 11 (Mystery at the Lighthouse)

UT: no, it was really cool!  
UT: i didn’t know dragonite could get that big!  
OG: Neither did I  
[MOD] SC: I did, and I’m really very sorry.  
OG: Ray you’ve apologized like a million times  
UT: it’s really fine!  
UT: and everything worked out!  
GO: Was Bill as interesting in-person as he sounded in Mew’s commentary?  
UT: he was  
UT: um  
UT: i’m thinking basically a human version of giratina?  
UT: enthusiastic and dedicated.  
UT: the kabuto suit was, um, weird.  
[MOD] DD: not the worst monsuit i’ve ever seen.  
UT: monsuit??  
[MOD] DD: lemme tell you ash, there are entire conventions that you’re not allowed into unless you’re dressed up as a legendary.  
[MOD] DD: to varying degrees of ‘dressed up’.  
OG: Hah yeah I saw the pictures  
OG: That cardboard Dialga was topkek  
UT: let me guess  
UT: did you crash one?  
[MOD] DD: crash, no.  
[MOD] DD: attend, very yes.  
[MOD] SC: I hadn’t heard about this.  
[MOD] SC: That was irresponsible of you. What if you were caught?  
[MOD] DD: oh i didn’t go as myself!  
[MOD] DD: or alone for that matter!  
GO: :D  
[MOD] SC: Shaymin, you didn’t.  
GO: I wanted to see what it was all about!  
[MOD] DD: we went as two girls in a shitty suicune costume.  
CS: You what?!  
[MOD] SC: Language.  
[MOD] DD: and let me tell you simulating two sets of human legs at the same time while also stopping shaymin from falling out was *really* hard.  
UT: :/  
[MOD] DD: didn’t even win the cosplay competition, either.  
[MOD] DD: that went to the guy who built an enormous palkia mechasuit.  
GO: It was a lot of fun though!  
GO: We really enjoyed ourselves!  
CS: I want to see that costume destroyed.  
CS: Preferably by me.  
[MOD] DD: you’re too late, entei caught us after the fact and incinerated it.  
CS: @blazingGlory why did you not tell me about this?!  
blazingGlory [BG] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
BG: Did you really want to know  
CS: Yes!!!!!  
CS: I want evidential proof that thing was destroyed.  
CS: And I expect to see it in the tower when we switch shifts tomorrow.  
UT: is raikou going to come out any time soon?  
BG: No  
BG: I’m not convinced he’s even in there any more  
BG: Which is good  
BG: He’s horrible at stealth  
[MOD] DD: oh yeah, i forgot about that.  
UT: aw.  
UT: does he know about pikachu?  
UT: he’s basically the only electric type who hasn’t commented.  
CS: …I’m not sure.  
CS: If he’s dead set on ignoring all of us, probably not.  
[MOD] DD: how’s the new addition doing?  
UT: he’s great!  
UT: he’s got as much energy as you!  
[MOD] DD: ha, i doubt it!  
OG: Great  
OG: Now there’s two of them  
UT: thanks again though.  
UT: if you hadn’t helped us understand the dragonite, i don’t think bill would have been grateful enough.  
[MOD] DD: hey, i love dragonite!  
[MOD] DD: they’re great!  
[MOD] DD: remind me to take you out to dragonite island at some point, it’s an amazing place.  
[MOD] DD: could get a dratini of your own while you’re there, i’m sure they’d love you too!  
UT: maybe someday!  
UT: an eevee is fine for now!  
OG: You should evolve him into Glaceon  
OG: Ice is great too  
BG: Flareon  
UT: guys.  
OG: Glaceon is so much better than Flareon in every way  
BG: No it isn’t  
UT: guys!  
[MOD] SC: Simmer down, the pair of you.  
UT: sorry but mew already spoke to me.  
UT: i’m going to leave it up to eevee.  
UT: and definitely not going to think about it until i get to know eevee better anyway.  
[MOD] DD: damn right!  
[MOD] SC: Ah, she gave you The Evolution Talk.  
[MOD] SC: Been saving that one up for a while?  
[MOD] DD: yeah, ever since he got pikachu.  
UT: three guesses what misty wants me to do and is upset that i'm not doing.  
CS: Well, a sensible suggestion from Mew isn’t completely unheard of.  
[MOD] DD: hey!  
GO: For him to just *give* you an Eevee, though… wow.  
GO: Even if you had our help with the Dragonite, that shows he’s got a huge amount of trust in a new trainer he’s only just met.  
[MOD] SC: I’d get mad about the direct involvement, but I really don’t like the thought of what would have happened if we didn’t help.  
UT: he preloaded my pokédex with a lot of information too!  
UT: i wonder if there’s any stuff on you guys in there…  
OG: Oh do me do me  
UT: ‘articuno, the freeze pokémon. this legendary pokémon, with wings like thin sheets of ice, is believed to possess the ability to freeze water vapor and create snow.’  
OG: Accurate  
UT: ‘it is said to appear to doomed people who are lost in icy mountains.’  
OG: It  
OG: How rude  
GO: Be fair, there’s more than one of you.  
OG: Also  
OG: How would they know  
OG: If I only appear to doomed people how would not-doomed people know  
OG: Also also  
OG: How would *I* know  
OG: It’s not like I have a freezing-to-death radar  
UT: that’s just what it says.  
OG: See  
OG: I think they just make a lot of this shit up  
[MOD] SC: Language.  
[MOD] DD: what about mine?  
UT: uh  
UT: ‘no information, believed to be extinct.’  
[MOD] DD: :p  
UT: suicune’s is very generic and there’s nothing on it for shaymin or rayquaza.  
GO: Shame.  
UT: entei, does a volcano erupt every time you bark?  
BG: Don’t be ridiculous  
[MOD] SC: No, I think that some information’s gotten crossed somewhere.  
[MOD] SC: That’s what happens every time Groudon sneezes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops I accidentally Krabby. Sorry Krabby. Ash goes wildly off-script and helps Bill so well that Bill gives him an Eevee in gratitude. This is a very Bill-thing to do, I think. After the canon train derailed up at Rota, it's gone through a fence and is now plowing through a field.
> 
> Also a bit of setting things up for Dragonite later, though I don't know *how* much later, since by the time Journeys could naturally come around the train will have been completely atomized.


	15. Episode 12 (The Path to the Pokémon League)

ultimateTrainer [UT] began pestering neverNadir [NN].

UT: zygarde?   
NN: zZz What zZz   
UT: did i do something wrong?   
NN: zZz What do you mean zZz   
UT: i tried to talk to you a couple of times on the memo with brock and misty.   
UT: i didn’t think it would hurt to use it to have a conversation.   
UT: so long as we didn’t say anything about legendaries, i mean.   
UT: but every time you’ve never responded, and…   
UT: i don’t know if you’re upset at me for asking for your help to moderate it.   
NN: zZz … zZz   
NN: zZz Ash how much exactly do you know about me zZz   
UT: um   
UT: i guess only that mew thinks you’re a party pooper.   
NN: zZz … zZz   
NN: zZz Im not a single organism zZz   
NN: zZz Zygarde is created by the combination of multiple cores zZz   
NN: zZz I can direct some of those cores to focus on tasks zZz   
NN: zZz I generally leave only 10% to focus on conversation zZz   
NN: zZz Or slightly more to respond to multiple conversations simultaneously zZz   
NN: zZz But if all of my attention is required elsewhere I am forced to reduce that count to 5% zZz   
NN: zZz With only 5% any conversation is reduced to automatic responses which cannot be discretionary zZz   
NN: zZz Hence I have disabled it in that particular memo zZz   
NN: zZz In all previous cases I returned to 10% engagement long after the attempts were made zZz   
UT: but…   
UT: why not just leave the chat and come back later?   
NN: zZz Because using 100% is an incredibly bad idea zZz   
NN: zZz I refuse to say why zZz   
UT: oh, okay.   
UT: and…   
UT: i guess i also wanted to apologize for underestimating your type.   
NN: zZz What zZz   
NN: zZz Why zZz   
UT: after what happened with brock’s pokémon i kind of thought i’d have an easy time against ground-types.   
UT: there was a guy today with a sandshrew, i thought pidgeotto would beat it easily.   
UT: long story short he beat me and i became a statistic.   
UT: his 99th win in a row.   
NN: zZz … zZz   
NN: zZz Ash zZz   
NN: zZz Why would I specifically need apologizing to zZz   
UT: i dunno, it’s…   
UT: i wanted to talk to you about the other thing anyway, and there’s only two other ground-type legendaries and neither of them care.   
NN: zZz … zZz   
NN: zZz I think the existence of a chat in which we can interact with your friends is incredibly risky zZz   
NN: zZz Its only a matter of time until somebody slips up zZz   
NN: zZz So excuse me if I seem pessimistic zZz   
NN: zZz Because I am zZz   
UT: oh.   
UT: well…   
UT: sorry.   
NN: zZz … zZz   
NN: zZz Ill make an effort to appear more sociable zZz   
UT: you don’t have to do that!   
UT: i   
UT: sorry i’ve gotta go, but don’t think i’m forgetting about this!

ultimateTrainer [UT] stopped pestering neverNadir [NN].

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I was planning on skipping straight to episode 15, via another Moltres infodump, but I thought I should mention this one just the same. It's basically just a filler conversation for a filler episode, featuring a character who's appeared here but I haven't done much with, Zygarde. Episode 13 *will* however be skipped, and replaced with the infodump. It's the filler episode "School of Hard Knocks", and the only relevant points will be mentioned at the beginning of Episode 15.


	16. Episode 14 (Bulbasaur and the Hidden Village)

TD: So that brings the total to… what? Five?  
TT: yeah  
TT: pikachu butterfree pidgeotto eevee bulbasaur  
TD: Has he said at all how many Pokémon he intends to catch?  
TT: nah  
CS: I think the only thing he’s said on the matter is he’d rather have a small team he knows well rather than an enormous cast who need introductions every time they’re on the field.  
[ADMIN] WW: UNLIKE A CERTAIN SOMEBODY  
CS: Who?  
[ADMIN] WW: UH  
wonkyWindlass [WW] fled the memo.  
TT: think we should wake mew up  
TD: No, let her get some sleep.  
TD: Nothing else important is happening, right?  
BG: No  
TT: not that we’d know  
TT: you suck at commentary entei  
BG: Father asked me to watch him  
BG: He did not ask me to tell anybody what he does  
CS: You used to be engaging, Entei.  
CS: When did you become such a bore?  
BG: When we started getting jobs to do  
TD: Well, at the very least, I think they’ve finally lost Team Rocket.  
TD: It feels like you would have mentioned if they were there.  
BG: They were  
TD: …  
TD: When?  
BG: Earlier  
CS: Brother, when you get back here, I am strangling you with my tails.

* * *

DN: Okay, we’ll begin, and then anybody who wants to join in mid-way can do so.   
DN: #gymrules2   
DN: To maintain the difficulty curve of Pokémon gyms, their leaders tend to vary their teams based on the amount of badges a challenger has.   
DN: As we’ve seen with Brock and Misty, as Ash had zero and one badge(s) respectively, their battles were limited to two-on-two.   
DN: And restricted to Kanto Pokémon on top of that.   
DN: Typically, this remains the case for the first three badges.   
DN: Once a challenger obtains their third badge, gym leaders are permitted to escalate to three-on-three.   
DN: Though there are of course exceptions. It seems that the leader of Vermilion is very fond of one-on-one challenges.   
DN: Nevertheless, at this point they are still restricted to Pokémon found natively in their region.   
DN: At six badges, gym leaders are permitted to introduce non-local Pokémon, to prevent the challenger from becoming too complacent.   
DN: And as a challenger will typically only obtain the eight badges required for league entry, the eighth gym will also up the challenge to four-on-four.   
DN: To create an example, I’ve looked at previous challenges in the Pewter Gym.   
DN: Against Ash as we saw, or rather heard, as somebody with no badges, Brock used Geodude and Onix.   
DN: (Which I have noted have been replaced currently, as he took those Pokémon with him.)   
DN: Their one-badge team typically tended to be Geodude and a Rhyhorn.   
DN: Two badges would see the strongest Pokémon from his previous teams, being Onix and Rhyhorn.   
DN: At three, he would introduce Geodude to that mix. Geodude, Onix, Rhyhorn.   
DN: Increasing the challenge, four badges would swap out Geodude for a Graveler, and likewise five Rhyhorn would make way for a Rhydon.   
DN: Six sees non-native Pokémon so Onix, Rhydon, and a Boldore.   
DN: Seven ups the challenge. Graveler, Rhydon, Gigalith.   
DN: And at eight, for a trainer’s final battle, Pewter would offer Onix, Gigalith, Rhydon and finally Golem.   
DN: Any beyond that, if a trainer decides to go above and beyond, or if they’ve competed in another league and have the experience, it’s up to the leader’s discretion.   
DN: I believe they have a Rhyperior and a Coalossal for harder challenges.   
DN: Pewter was just an example. Most of the gyms Ash will be visiting aren’t that well documented.   
DN: In fact, Pewter gym seems to be the most consistent, from what I’ve researched.   
DN: Celadon, Fuchsia and Viridian aren’t far behind, and Cerulean, Vermilion and Amaranth are middling, but there’s next to no information on Saffron and Cinnabar.   
DN: And since I apparently missed it last time…   
DN: The winner of the Indigo Conference gets challenge rights to the ‘Elite Four’, four trainers who are considered to be the best in the region.   
DN: (For the purposes of this area, Kanto and Johto are counted as a single administrative unit.)   
DN: Owing to the sudden retirement of one of their number, their fourth, Lance, is currently also the Grand Champion of the region. He specializes in Dragon-types.   
DN: There are also Lorelei, Ice-types, Agatha, Ghost-types, and Bruno, Fighting-types (who Ash has run into already).   
DN: Other regions have their own Elite Four and Grand Champion.   
DN: Though for reasons I cannot fathom Ash has declared that becoming champion of a region is not the final step to becoming a Pokémon Master.   
DN: In fact he seems to be unwilling to pin down a single definition for the term.   
DN: If he means being champion of all leagues simultaneously, it would be an almost impossible feat, bearing in mind that league conferences typically happen annually and the existing champions are insanely strong.   
DN: Hm. I think that covers everything. Any questions?   
SW: -|===> Can we have our memo back now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up condensing these down into a single chapter because they were pretty short. I had the infodump anyway, and felt I had to have at least *something* for Bulbasaur's debut episode even though he got mentioned in the future back when Celebi went there earlier. Next chapter will be much longer.
> 
> WW: I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU BY THE WAY
> 
> Shush.


	17. Episode 15 (Bout With the Fairies)

twiceMulticolored [TM] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave twiceMulticolored [TM] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] DD: wb ho-oh!  
[MOD] TM: Thank you.  
[MOD] TM: Apologies for my absence this past week. Contractual obligations. Ecruteak Festival.  
BG: Did it go well  
[MOD] TM: It went very well, thank you, Entei.  
[MOD] TM: Were Ash not currently bearing a Rainbow Wing, there were a few potential Rainbow Hero candidates.  
[MOD] TM: Perhaps the only downside is that Suicune’s stalker was also present.  
BG: Which one  
[MOD] TM: I believe his name is… Eusine?  
BG: Oh him  
TT: man we’ve all got stalkers  
[MOD] DD: i don’t!  
TT: that’s ‘cause you’re the one stalking ash  
TT: and everyone else thinks you’re dead  
[MOD] DD: it’s not stalking if i have permission.  
[MOD] TM: What have I missed over the past few days?  
TT: well  
TT: ash got given an eevee which is fun  
TT: there was some dude whose sandshrew beat up pidgeotto  
TT: something about a school  
[MOD] DD: which is ash is now banned from, btw.  
[MOD] DD: someone criticized him not already picking eevee’s evolution which set him off.  
[MOD] DD: kinda my fault.  
TT: ash legit caught a bulbasaur  
TT: and those rocket guys are also still stalking him  
[MOD] TM: So aside from the captures, I haven’t missed *much*.  
TT: p much  
TT: he’s comin up to the fairy gym tomorrow  
TT: i’m pissed ‘cause i can’t watch him and the thunderbirds marathon at the same time  
[MOD] DD: i went ahead and i’m already in amaranth.  
[MOD] DD: there’s a *very* good bakery here.  
BG: Reckless endangerment again  
BG: I told you not to  
[MOD] DD: and i told you i don’t want or need your permission!  
BG: When you get caught I’m not going to help you  
[MOD] DD: i got you a peanut butter breadball.  
BG:  
BG:  
BG:  
BG: I’ll be behind the gym in five minutes  
TT: lmao  
[MOD] TM: If only Raikou were bribed so easily.  
TT: doesn’t he come out for food  
[MOD] TM: We assume he must do.  
[MOD] TM: Nobody has yet caught him in the act, though.  
TT: eh  
TT: wish moltres would shut himself up in his nest and not come out for ages  
[MOD] TM: You’re Moltres’ sibling, not his parent.  
[MOD] TM: As a father I’m concerned about Raikou’s health.  
blazingGlory [BG] exploded.  
[MOD] DD: ENTEI WHY

* * *

wonkyWindlass [WW] began streaming!  
OG: Ok boys it’s time for  
OG: WTF  
DN: The gym appears to have burned down.  
BN: Yex, we can xee that.  
[MOD] DD: i am one hundred per cent blaming entei for this.  
BG: Not one word Mew  
BG: I swear  
OG: What did you even do  
[MOD] DD: i decided to be nice and got entei a snack yesterday.  
BG: MEW  
[MOD] DD: he repaid my gratitude by exploding.  
[MOD] DD: while he was next to the gym.  
[MOD] DD: i am never doing any favors for him ever again.  
crystallineSlush [CS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
CS: Entei, really?  
CS: What happened to staying well clear of the humans?  
BG: This doesn’t concern you  
CS: It absolutely concerns me, brother.  
CS: It concerns me *very much*.  
[MOD] DD: all i did was give him the food and he just set *everything* on fire.  
[MOD] DD: i had to use rain dance.  
[MOD] DD: and i hate using rain dance.  
CS: What snack was it?  
CS: Entei?  
BG:  
BG:  
BG: IT WAS PEANUT BUTTER OKAY  
OG: ROFL  
CS: You’re kidding me.  
CS: You burned a gym down because you had a nice-tasting snack.  
BG: Nice  
BG: *Nice*  
BG: It was the best thing I’ve ever tasted in my life  
BG: I will never taste anything like that again  
BN: How old are you again?  
CS: Old enough to know better.  
DN: Not to interrupt anybody’s arguments, but it seems that Ash will still be having his battle.  
DN: Just outside.  
[MOD] DD: i mean i had one too and yeah, it was pretty good, but it wasn’t a flavor explosion or anything.  
[MOD] DD: i’ve got more, i can prove it to you.  
BG:  
[MOD] DD: no i’m not giving you another one!  
[MOD] DD: suicune where are you right now?  
CS: Home. Why?  
[MOD] DD: heads up!  
CS: Wh  
CS: Oh, I see.  
[MOD] DD: is xerneas gonna be the only fairy type coming in to watch?  
BN: Apparently xo.  
[MOD] DD: @fairytypes  
BN: Oh, Zaxian xends hix apologiex.  
BN: He and Zamazenta are invextigating a poxxible xighting of he-who-will-not-be-mentioned.  
crystallineSlush [CS] fled the memo.  
OG: Oh fuck not him  
stockadeUpheaval [SU] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
OG: Ayy it’s Bulu  
SU: Sorry I’m late.  
SU: Though Lele will be even later, Fini is asleep, and Koko might not be joining us at all.  
[MOD] DD: wait why not?  
[MOD] DD: he was absolutely stoked a couple days ago!  
SU: To be honest, none of us have seen or heard from him in over 24 hours.  
SU: Lele is currently looking for him.  
[MOD] DD: huh weird.  
DN: Well, you’re not too late. They’re still setting up the outside field.  
DN: I suspect Ash will be facing leader Holly’s two-badge team of Wigglytuff and Clefairy.  
OG: Great more Clefs  
OG: Those are real bad news  
OG: Metronome for days  
twiceMulticolored [TM] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave twiceMulticolored [TM] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] TM: Is there any reason why Suicune just fled the tower at high speed?  
[MOD] TM: With… aurorae leaking from her mouth?  
BG: I said  
[MOD] DD: oh no not you too!  
DN: Ahem.  
DN: In a plea for sanity, can the discussions about these snacks be removed to the shitposting channel?  
[MOD] DD: do you want one?  
DN: Allergic to peanuts.  
DN: But thanks anyway.  
[MOD] TM: …Yes, that’s probably for the best.  
[MOD] TM: It seems Ash’s challenge will begin shortly, so please take all unrelated discussions elsewhere.  
[MOD] DD: also, no diancie?  
BN: I don’t keep track of what Dianxie ix doing.  
[MOD] DD: okay okay no need to get snippy about it, geez.  
SU: So who’ll Ash be battling with?  
DN: If he’s got any sense, at least Bulbasaur, possibly with Butterfree.  
DN: But this is Ash we’re talking about, so…  
OG: Harsh words bro  
[MOD] DD: i think he said he was going to give eevee and bulbasaur their first gym battle on at least the first attempt?  
[MOD] DD: that thing we said about sharing the battle experience stuck, thank fuck.  
OG: Not like that Pikachu needs to get any more overpowered  
BN: If he ix fighting a Metronome uxer thix ix going to text hix ability to plan on the fly.  
BN: I am not fond of Clefairy.  
OG: Join the club  
[MOD] TM: So, Brock took two attempts, and Ash technically forfeited.  
[MOD] TM: Misty took only one but the battle was interrupted before it was finished.  
[MOD] TM: Hopefully he’ll at least finish this one.  
OG: Hey @counterweightWillow are Team Rocket about  
[MOD] CW: they are not  
OG: And nothing of value was lost  
[MOD] CW: after (ash)s last (gym challenge) they were scolded for (interfering)  
[MOD] CW: it is (unlikely) for them to make a sudden (appearance) today  
[MOD] TM: It is strange.  
[MOD] TM: They brazenly attack a Pokémon Center with no repercussions save that which Ash administered, yet League gyms are apparently forbidden.  
[MOD] DD: okay now shut up they’re starting!  
DN: Clefairy as expected.  
[MOD] DD: and eevee, good.  
[MOD] DD: i want to see adaptability put to good use.  
BN: Mew, how cloxe to thix battle are you?  
BN: There’x probably going to be xome Xinging involved.  
[MOD] DD: xinging?  
[MOD] DD: oh, singing.  
[MOD] DD: dw i’m loaded up with worry seeds.  
SU: A reasonable start.  
DN: Hmmm.  
DN: I’m slightly worried. I think he’s being too cautious.  
OG: Shock horror bro  
[MOD] TM: Caution is always useful.  
[MOD] TM: But yes, assuming that his opponent is always going to ramp up the difficulty slowly will leave him open to blitzkrieg tactics.  
DN: Which is strange, because I *know* I told him not to do that.  
SU: Give him a break. Has he had a serious battle with Eevee yet?  
OG: Yeah at that school thing  
[MOD] DD: sigh here comes the metronome spam.  
[MOD] DD: wth  
SU: What was *that*?  
[MOD] DD: spike cannon.  
OG: But  
OG: Where did the bazooka come from  
[MOD] DD: wait what  
OG: Whoo  
OG: You show em Ash  
SU: That settles that question.  
SU: The only way to deal with unpredictability is to be unpredictable yourself.  
DN: I think that’s giving him too much credit for a happy accident.  
DN: What do you think, Xerneas?  
BN: I think it’x too early in Axh’x journey to make a concluxion.  
BN: It’x all well and good xeeing him grappling with the Fairy-type but we can only judge him generally at thix point.  
BN: Axk me later when he hax to deal with Fairy’x immunity to Dragon-typex.  
OG: Oof  
SU: …Yeah, ‘oof’ is the reaction there.  
SU: An Eevee tackling into your gut will do that for you.  
[MOD] TM: Moltres.  
DN: Yes?  
[MOD] TM: Based on your observation of the battle so far, would you hazard a guess as to the gym’s hidden challenge?  
DN: Hm.  
DN: I think I’ve narrowed it down to two options.  
DN: The first we already mentioned, unpredictability. Ash has to show he’s prepared to deal with a battle where not even the opponent has a concrete plan.  
[MOD] DD: ooh, misty terrain.  
[MOD] DD: useless, but cool.  
DN: The other is that he has to show he’s not underestimating the Fairy-type.  
DN: Just because Clefairy and Wigglytuff happen to be ‘cute’ doesn’t mean they can’t do serious damage in the right hands.  
SU: More likely to be the former.  
SU: Xerneas and I are prime examples of how the Fairy-type isn’t necessarily cute.  
BN: Cutenexx ix an opinion.  
SU: And there’s that.  
[MOD] DD: question is can eevee take out clefairy before it rolls something really good on metronome…  
[MOD] DD: that tackle slowed it down but you’ve gotta go for the hands to stop metronome spam.  
SU: Like that?  
[MOD] DD: *ouch*.  
[MOD] DD: i mean i know eevee isn’t biting hard enough to draw blood but *ow*.  
OG: 1-0 Ash  
[MOD] TM: Yes, I’m not surprised.  
[MOD] TM: He put the leader in an untenable position and forced her to withdraw.  
SU: I have known Eevees.  
SU: They do not. Let. Go.  
OG: Someone’s speaking from experience  
SU: Let’s just say I hate the whole Eevee line with a passion.  
BN: I will admit uxing Xwift to maxk the approach wax a good move.  
BN: Flaxh would have been better.  
DN: Eevee can’t learn Flash.  
[MOD] DD: we’ll see about that!  
DN: Mew, no.  
[MOD] DD: mew very yes!  
OG: Normally I’d say no too  
OG: But fuck you Moltres  
OG: Eevee can do what he likes  
[MOD] TM: Mew, a gentle reminder that not everyone can learn every move.  
[MOD] DD: hey moltres.  
DN: What?  
[MOD] DD: do me a favor and pick up a rock. just do it.  
DN: …Okay…?  
[MOD] DD: now throw it.  
DN: Your point being?  
[MOD] DD: grats you now know rock throw!  
DN:  
DN:  
OG: GG Mew  
OG: He’s literally lost for words  
OG: Bet you he’s going to start throwing a tantrum any moment now  
SU: Well, let’s not let it detract us from Bulbasaur vs Wigglytuff.  
OG: Oh he withdrew Eevee  
OG: I didn’t notice  
[MOD] DD: i was napping during the whole bulbasaur thing so this should be good.  
OG: Don’t expect any poison stuff  
SU: Speaking as a part Grass-type who’s done his research…  
OG: Oh no not you too  
SU: Relax. It’ll be quick.  
SU: I’ve always thought it weird that Bulbasaur, Ivysaur and Venusaur are all classed as part Poison.  
SU: As far as I’m aware the only actual Poison move they learn is Poison Powder.  
[MOD] DD: this is true actually.  
[MOD] DD: i never really noticed.  
OG: And *there’s* the singing  
BN: Ax I xuxpected.  
BN: Mew?  
[MOD] DD: chewing a worry seed.  
[MOD] DD: can i just say  
[MOD] DD: i’m a cat and i sing badly  
[MOD] DD: but this is the worst singing i’ve ever heard in my life!  
[MOD] TM: I suppose the Reverse World is muting its effects for the stream.  
[ADMIN] WW: YOU SUPPOSE CORRECTLY  
SU: So what’s Ash’s strategy for when his Pokémon is asleep?  
[MOD] DD: i know this!  
[MOD] DD: just watch!  
[MOD] TM: I don’t suppose that Ash’s Bulbasaur knows Worry Seed yet.  
[MOD] DD: no, but he’s got something just as good!  
OG: Wat  
BN: What  
BN: He juxt  
BN: Hold on, wax that a Chexto berry?  
[MOD] DD: that’s the one!  
[MOD] TM: Did you give him that idea?  
[MOD] DD: no, brock did.  
SU: A clever trick.  
SU: Unfortunately one that only works once.  
[MOD] DD: it only *needs* to work once.  
SU: What?  
[MOD] DD: and bam!  
BN: That’x a… creative uxe of Vine Whip?  
SU: …Okay, I’ll give him that.  
SU: You said he’s only had Bulbasaur a couple of days?  
OG: Yeah  
SU: Are we sure Ash doesn’t have any other Grass-types?  
SU: I’ve seen plenty of people flailing around in Alola and they’re nowhere near as fluid with Grass-types.  
[MOD] TM: Very impressive.  
[MOD] TM: I can claim to have seen a lot with my lifespan, and I’ve never seen Vine Whip being used as earplugs.  
[MOD] TM: But can Bulbasaur get by with just tackling Wigglytuff around?  
[MOD] TM: They’re very resilient.  
BN: And there ix a downxide in that Bulbaxaur cannot now hear Axh.  
[MOD] DD: :3  
OG: Mew knows something we don’t again  
OG: That’s very aggravating  
[MOD] DD: just realized that now, did you? :3  
OG: Whoa  
[MOD] TM: …That’ll do it.  
BN: …Yex, I xuppoxe that’x obvioux in hindxhight.  
SU: …  
SU: I reiterate what I just said.  
[MOD] DD: let’s see you sing now with a mouth full of dirt!  
[MOD] TM: That Bulbasaur is surprisingly nimble.  
[MOD] DD: game. set. match.  
OG: That felt surprisingly short  
[MOD] TM: Did it?  
[MOD] TM: If anything that took longer than Ash’s battle against Misty.  
[MOD] TM: Excepting the Team Rocket interruption.  
BN: Hmmm.  
BN: I xee what you were talking about. He ix an exceptional trainer already.  
BN: If I muxt point out a detractor, it ix that outxide acouxticx are hardly ideal for a Xing-baxed xtrategy.  
BN: If the battle took place inxide the gym, it may have been a different xtory.  
[MOD] DD: well you all know who to blame for that!  
BG: I KNOW  
monarchUkulele [MU] responed to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
MU: GUH.  
SU: Oh, Lele.  
OG: Hi Lele  
SU: Did you find Koko?  
MU: I found him, yes.  
MU: Or rather he found me.  
SU: Oh well that’s not so bad.  
MU: Or rather his *vomit* found me.  
[MOD] DD: oh tmi  
MU: Needless to say he’s quite sick.  
MU: Did I miss the battle?  
SU: You did.  
SU: While the Fairy-typing wasn’t much of a factor, Ash showed remarkable use of relatively recently captured Pokémon.  
OG: And that’s badge number three  
OG: Numero tres  
[MOD] DD: is moltres tantruming?  
OG: Uh hold on  
OG: He’s doing something over there  
dantesNferno [DN] exploded.  
OG: RIP  
[MOD] DD: lol  
[MOD] TM: Should we be worried about this?  
OG: Nah  
OG: He’ll be fine  
MU: I’m scared to find out what happened now.  
OG: Oh Mew taught Moltres a move he supposedly shouldn’t have been able to learn and he was not happy  
MU: That’s… not really something to get upset about???  
OG: Then you do not know my brother  
[MOD] DD: oh ffs!  
[MOD] TM: What?  
[MOD] DD: suicune just showed up.  
crystallineSlush [CS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
CS: I want.  
CS: Another one.  
[MOD] DD: YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANOTHER ONE FUCK OFF  
[MOD] TM: Suicune, behave yourself.  
[MOD] TM: This is unbecoming of you.  
[MOD] DD: oh don’t give me that look!  
[MOD] DD: hold on i’ve got a great idea!  
decibelDrama [DD] fled the memo.  
BN: One (1) fear.  
[ADMIN] WW: ANYONE MIND IF I END THE STREAM  
[MOD] TM: I think everything’s over now. It’s just wrap-up.  
[MOD] TM: Thank you, Giratina.  
wonkyWindlass [WW] is no longer streaming!  
[MOD] TM: And thank you, lake trio.  
[MOD] NM: It Was A Very Interesting Battle .  
[MOD] GW: YesVeryInterestingIndeed!  
[MOD] GW: LookingForwardToFurtherGymBattles!  
[MOD] CW: his (badge) was well-earned  
[MOD] CW: he planned ahead  
SU: Yes, that was evident.  
SU: I wonder if his slow start with Eevee was deliberately baiting the leader into underestimating the second matchup.  
SU: He was forewarned of Sing and he came well-prepared for it.  
[MOD] TM: An interesting tactic but not one he should rely on working.  
[MOD] TM: Like I said before, it doesn’t preclude him against  
[MOD] TM: …that was an explosion.  
decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave decibelDrama [DD] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] DD: hey ho-oh i got raikou out!  
[MOD] DD: he’s in a private convo cussing me out but he’s also not in the basement anymore!  
[MOD] TM: You could’ve warned me!  
[MOD] DD: i’m back in amaranth but i bet you he’s coming here rn  
CS: Clearly there’s only one solution to this.  
CS: You have to give everything you’ve got left to me.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Mew, I’m going to have to see what the fuss is about.  
SU: …That’s not a good idea.  
[MOD] TM: I’m out of good ideas.  
SU: Reasonable excuse.  
MU: No it’s not!!!  
[MOD] DD: heads up.  
BN: Two (2) fearx.  
[MOD] TM: Hm.  
BG: You see father  
[MOD] TM: I confess I don’t.  
[MOD] TM: It’s just bread and peanut butter.  
[MOD] DD: THANK YOU  
CS: You must not be eating it right.  
[MOD] DD: and don’t think i’m sharing any more ‘cause i didn’t buy out the freaking shop!  
[MOD] TM: How did you get them anyway?  
[MOD] DD: there’s this thing, i don’t know if you’ve heard of it?  
[MOD] DD: it’s called money.  
[MOD] TM: Well, yes.  
[MOD] TM: Obviously.  
[MOD] TM: Where did you *get* the money?  
SU: You mean you *don’t* have a stable income?  
SU: We do.  
MU: Yes, and most of it goes into anonymous donations to fix things that Koko broke.  
SU: What else would we do with it?  
OG: We get money but Lugia doesn’t let us have it  
OG: Or mine anyway  
OG: Zapdos spends all of hers on her TV bill  
[MOD] DD: suicune i know you’ve got money.  
[MOD] DD: buy ‘em yourself.  
CS: Yes. This is true.  
CS: I also cannot transform into a human and purchase such items from a shop.  
CS: Or carry the money.  
BG: Father  
BG: Did you not know about this  
[MOD] TM: …no, I didn’t. Where is all of this coming from?  
CS: The offering box in the tower.  
[MOD] DD: hey, be glad you’ve got a box.  
[MOD] DD: i have to fly around to random shrines in the ass-end of nowhere.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: sparkle badge get!  
[BOT] PB: da-da-da-do!  
OG: Grats Ash  
BN: Congratulationx.  
[MOD] TM: Entei, apologize.  
UT: wait what?  
BG:  
BG:  
BG: I’m sorry for burning the gym down  
UT: wait that was you?  
UT: what did i miss???  
MU: Entei burned the gym down???  
[MOD] DD: i’ll tell you later it’s really annoying.  
[MOD] DD: anyway eevee and bulbasaur did really well!  
UT: yeah!  
UT: it was tougher than i thought it’d be but we got it!  
UT: eevee’s head hurts though so we’re in the pokémon center getting him checked out.  
[MOD] DD: ooh, i’ve been there.  
[MOD] DD: pretty sure i’ve still got one of arceus’s teeth lodged in my head.  
UT: what  
MU: WHAT  
[MOD] DD: i was bouncing around and came straight up into his jaw while he was working.  
[MOD] DD: one of his teeth went missing and we never found it.  
[ADMIN] WW: NO YOU HAVENT  
[ADMIN] WW: YOU ONLY HAD A CONCUSSION  
MU: Okay. Less concerned.  
SU: We were impressed by your use of a Chesto berry.  
UT: thanks!  
UT: tapu bulu, right?  
UT: i remembered brock mentioning what they did a few days ago when i wondered aloud what stuff went into bottled potions.  
UT: and he had some for medicinal purposes and he let me borrow a few.  
BN: How did you anticipate the Wigglytuff Xinging?  
UT: xinging?  
UT: oh, singing.  
UT: there was a wigglytuff who was part of a trainer’s team from pallet a few years ago that professor oak was looking after.  
UT: it… wouldn’t really shut up :/  
BN: That didn’t necexxarily mean the gym Wigglytuff wax going to do the xame thing.  
UT: yeah i guess it was a shot in the dark.  
UT: but even if it didn’t all it meant was bulbasaur had a snack for later.  
[MOD] DD: you should probably know that bulbasaur can learn worry seed.  
[MOD] DD: it stops anyone who eats them from falling asleep.  
UT: oh, cool!  
UT: i’ll keep that in mind!  
[MOD] TM: It was refreshing to watch a battle that went uninterrupted.  
[MOD] TM: I’m sure you feel better for participating in the same.  
UT: i’ve battled a few people without team rocket showing up!  
UT: like bruno!  
[MOD] DD: who handed you your ass on a silver platter.  
[MOD] TM: Language.  
UT: and they never showed up when i battled brock!  
UT: but yeah it was great.  
BN: What wax your axxexxment of the Fairy-type?  
BN: Ax an opponent, that ix.  
UT: well after the clefairy thing…  
UT: i guess i’d know more if i had a dragon-type?  
UT: type effectiveness didn’t really do anything.  
UT: it was more watching what holly was doing and figuring out a way around her tactics.  
UT: i think maybe the clefairy thing before sort of prepared me i guess.  
UT: gtg looks like eevee’s back!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] NM: It Is Reassuring To Know That He Is At Least Learning Something .  
BN: What’x next?  
OG: Psychic I think  
[MOD] TM: Yes, the Psychic-type gym in Saffron City.  
[MOD] TM: There is a direct road between Amaranth and Saffron.  
[MOD] TM: He has no excuse for going the wrong way this time.  
[MOD] DD: apart from the fact that the road’s closed?  
OG: LOL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s this? An unexpected gym??? Kanto has enough retconned Fairy-types for this to be an actual thing, so in it goes. (Five, to be exact; not counting the babies, Clefairy/Clefable, Jigglypuff/Wigglytuff, and Mr. Mime.) This takes place in an unnamed town that Ash would visit during the Battle Frontier arc, in which there was a popular bakery. It’s the one in which Drew catches an Arcanine, if you’re interested - AG139 On Cloud Arcanine. Anyway, the beasts get to show their animal sides, Ash legitimately wins a badge for the first time, and some holdable berries. Gym Leader Holly is named as such because the lead fairy character in the Artemis Fowl series is Holly Short.


	18. Episode 16 (A Flame in the Rain)

scimitarGamma [SG] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TT: hi virizion  
SG: Good evening, or whatever time it happens to be there.  
TT: welcome to not much is going on  
SG: Well, peace and quiet is welcomed anywhere.  
SG: Especially after what Cobalion is putting us through.  
TT: yeah  
TT: i heard  
TT: keldeo would probably enjoy this tho  
SG: That’s what Cobalion is afraid of.  
SG: Keldeo has only just started his training, relatively speaking, and Cobalion doesn’t want him distracted.  
SG: He imagines that knowing Ash on his journey is going to fill his head full of dreams of heroism and recklessness.  
TT: fair  
TT: but still mean  
TT: ash and keldeo would get on like a house on fire  
SG: I don’t doubt it for a second.  
SG: In fact, I would be completely unsurprised if Keldeo ends up travelling with Ash at some point in the future.  
SG: But I will agree with Cobalion in that it’s too early.  
SG: Keldeo has to demonstrate a certain level of maturity first.  
TT: maturity’s overrated  
SG: So what is the current situation?  
TT: not much is going on  
[MOD] TM: Ash has amended his routing.  
[MOD] TM: The intention was to proceed directly to the gym in Saffron City from Amaranth Town, but the city is under some form of lockdown.  
[MOD] TM: Thus, he is taking a - rather large - detour around the city to reach Vermilion instead.  
SG: Well, no plan survives first contact with the enemy.  
TT: or ash  
[MOD] TM: We have, however, found fortune in this.  
SG: Oh?  
[MOD] TM: You are aware that Ash possesses one of my Rainbow Wings?  
SG: Yes, I had heard about that.  
[MOD] TM: I’ve finally been able to get Marshadow into the region.  
[MOD] TM: Entei is bringing him to Ash now.  
[MOD] TM: Just because Ash is Arceus’ Chosen One doesn’t mean I should dispense with the usual procedures.  
SG: I agree entirely.  
[MOD] TM: When he arrives Ash is going to orchestrate a little chase after an imaginary wild Pokémon to get him away from his friends for the transfer.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: oh hi!  
SG: Hello.  
UT: don’t think i’ve spoken to you before!  
SG: Virizion. Pleased to make your acquaintance.  
UT: same!  
UT: it’s a bit boring at the moment though :/  
[MOD] TM: Mew is asleep, so we don’t have a current play-by-play of what’s going on.  
UT: there’s not much to miss.  
UT: i’m just getting butterfree checked out at a pokémon center, he was practicing speed with pidgeotto and got blown into a tree.  
TT: ouch  
sevenStar [SS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
SS: problems  
[MOD] TM: What’s the matter, Marshadow?  
UT: is e  
[MOD] TM: Ash?  
UT: someone’s saying they found entei  
UT: gtg  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] TM: @blazingGlory What are you doing?!  
BG: Busy  
SS: he got seen  
BG: He was in a tree I didn’t see him okay  
TT: so  
TT: ash is now actively hunting entei  
SG: Not much going on, huh?  
TT:  
TT: @decibeldrama @oddityodyssey emergency stream plz  
[MOD] TM: This isn’t good.  
[MOD] TM: We don’t need this kind of publicity.  
decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave decibelDrama [DD] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] DD: i’m up i’m up  
[MOD] DD: what’s happening?  
TT: entei got spotted by peeps and ash is in pursuit  
[MOD] TM: @ultimateTrainer Ash, I don’t know if you’re going to see this, but do *not* do anything stupid.  
[MOD] TM: In the company of others Entei cannot go easy on you.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responed to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: yeah i get it!  
UT: entei where are you?!  
[MOD] TM: Don’t run and text at the same time you’ll hurt yourself!  
oddityOdyssey [OO] reponded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
OO: hoopa is up  
OO: allez-hooparing!  
oddityOdyssey [OO] began streaming!  
[MOD] DD: got the ring  
[MOD] DD: now where’s ash?  
[MOD] DD: wait, nevermind i can smell smoke.  
[MOD] DD: that’s entei.  
UT: wait i can smell that too!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] TM: Entei.  
BG: What  
[MOD] TM: You should defend yourself. But don’t harm anybody.  
BG: Hmph  
BG: Easier said than done  
BG: Fuck he’s here  
[MOD] DD: and so am i!  
OO: and hoopa is feeling sick again }:/  
[MOD] DD: sorry hoopa i was in a hurry.  
SG: Looks like Ash isn’t the only one there.  
[MOD] TM: I was afraid of this from the beginning.  
[MOD] TM: It’s a minor miracle that this hadn’t already happened.  
SG: At this point, does Ash have a realistic chance against Entei?  
SG: Using the Pokémon he has with him at the moment.  
[MOD] TM: No.  
[MOD] TM: Which is why I’m afraid he’s going to do something stupid and fight him anyway.  
[MOD] TM: Or that he’s going to deliberately interfere in order to allow Entei to escape, which would be worse.  
SG: Good point.  
TT: why does that girl think she stands a chance with a piplup  
TT: is this the female version of ash or something  
SG: And there’s that.  
SG: Sudden legendary appearances tend to draw out the stupid in everybody.  
SG: Terrakion and I were attacked by a trainer with a Magby last week.  
TT: oof  
OO: people try to fight hoopa all the time  
OO: hoopa just pranks them in return  
SS: should i transfer  
[MOD] TM: Only if there’s sufficient opportunity for you to do it without being seen.  
[MOD] DD: aka not now.

* * *

unassumingBoulder [UB] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].  
UB: Ash, where did you go?  
UB: Ash?

* * *

unassumingBoulder [UB] began pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].  
UB: I don’t suppose Ash has told you he’s going anywhere?  
UB: We’re in a Pokémon Center and he disappeared while I was in the bathroom and Misty was looking the other way.  
TM: He said something about somebody saying they spotted Entei.  
UB: Entei?  
UB: As in the legendary Pokémon from Johto?  
TM: That’s what he said.  
TM: Don’t tell me he went out looking for him.  
UB: Sadly this is Ash we’re talking about so probably.  
UB: What would Entei even be doing this far east?  
TM: I believe the beasts of Ecruteak roam the entirety of the Home Regions, so Entei being in Kanto wouldn’t be completely unusual.  
TM: Being *seen* doing so however is another matter.

* * *

BG: @ULTIMATETRAINER THAT’S UNFAIR  
[MOD] DD: ash that’s so mean  
[MOD] DD: you’re the best  
[MOD] TM: I was distracted. What did he do?  
[MOD] DD: he has one of those breadballs with him!  
SG: I… think I’m out of the loop.  
[MOD] DD: check the chat log with the fairy gym tag, i’m not explaining it all again.  
SG: I’ll do that later then.  
TT: wait if entei gets that won’t he explode  
[MOD] DD: i think the whole point is ash isn’t *letting* him get it.  
[MOD] DD: oh, a guy with a lucario.  
[MOD] TM: Finally, somebody sensible.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: Entei, try not to hurt the Lucario too badly please.  
[MOD] TM: We get enough flak from the Lucario Kingdom as it is.  
SG: Like I said, it draws out the stupid.  
BG: @ultimateTrainer I’m not sorry  
BG: Give me that right now  
[MOD] TM: Entei, this is an order.  
[MOD] TM: DROP IT.  
BG: But father  
[MOD] TM: DROP IT. RIGHT NOW.  
BG:  
BG: Fine  
BG: You haven’t heard the last of this Ash Ketchum  
[MOD] DD: …  
[MOD] DD: that went well!  
SG: …You have a strange definition of ‘well’.  
[MOD] DD: my definition of ‘well’ is ‘not completely fubar’.  
[MOD] DD: oh good, he’s making friends.  
TT: ooh  
TT: hoopa stick around plz i want to see this  
OO: okay  
OO: hoopa wasnt really doing anything anyway }:/

* * *

[MOD] DD: wait wtf  
[MOD] DD: @ultimatetrainer @ultimatetrainer 100 yards ahead on your right!  
SG: What is that?  
SG: Is that a…  
[MOD] DD: yeah, it’s a charmander.  
[MOD] DD: oh i guess it’s a trained one?  
[MOD] DD: i think this is the guy.  
SG: I wonder wh  
SG: NO.  
SG: NOT OKAY.  
SG: Mew, do something!  
[MOD] DD: he’s got a lyanroc, what am i supposed to do?!  
TT: ash  
TT: kick this guy’s ass  
SG: No, he can’t afford a protracted battle.  
[MOD] DD: this guy *is* an ass!  
SG: @ultimateTrainer Ash, that Charmander will die if its tail flame is extinguished.  
SG: You must get it to shelter immediately.  
SG: Cover its tail from the rain and seek cover.  
SG: Ignore the trainer.  
SG: Charmander should be your highest priority.  
[MOD] DD: yeah uh virizion he’s not reading any of that he’s kinda busy.  
SG: Then maybe you should busy yourself actually finding shelter for them!  
SG: Or did you forget about getting out of the rain yourself?  
[MOD] DD: okay yeah i’ll do that  
[MOD] DD: hoopa you can take your ring back now.  
TT: if i see that guy  
TT: i am going to do something  
SG: Zapdos, believe me, I would love to do something too.  
SG: We are not there.  
SG: We can only ask Ash to do what is right.  
TT: well he’s doing it anyway so  
OO: lmao  
SG: This is no laughing matter, Hoopa!  
OO: hoopa made the nasty guy trip  
OO: very covered in mud  
OO: yw  
SG: …  
SG: I suppose it’s a start.  
[MOD] DD: @ultimatetrainer @ultimatetrainer cave up ahead, bear a bit to the left you can’t miss it!  
[MOD] DD: should be safe, lucario guy is here.  
SG: Oh good.

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] began pestering unassumingBoulder [UB].  
UT: hey brock sorry for running off like that.  
UB: Where are you now?  
UB: And did you really see Entei?  
UT: i did!  
UT: i’m taking shelter in a cave, uh  
UT: i’m not really sure where?  
UT: but i’m with a couple of new friends, and we rescued a charmander from a jerk who left it out in the rain.  
UB: …is it okay?  
UT: sorrel thinks so.  
UT: he wants to become a pokémon professor so he’s got the medical training for it.  
UB: That’s good to hear.

* * *

[MOD] DD: hey so does anyone think it’s creepy that this guy is researching us?  
TT: says the cat stalking ash  
SG: It’s a hazard of the territory, we all know this.  
SG: Just… don’t let him know you’re in there with him?  
SG: We don’t want to elicit another bout of the stupids.  
[MOD] DD: i’m currently a golbat on the cave roof.  
[MOD] DD: no harm of that.

* * *

UT: i’ll try and meet back up with you in the mor  
UT: uh  
UB: Ash?  
UB: Ash, what happened?  
ultimateTrainer [UT] uploaded file "aww.jpg".  
UB:  
UB:

* * *

UT: @twicemulticolored @crystallineslush @boltfromtheblue  
ultimateTrainer [UT] uploaded file "aww.jpg".  
crystallineSlush [CS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
CS: It’s finally happened, brother.  
CS: Your soft side has finally been revealed.  
BG: Traitor  
SG: Considering an application for the Swords of Justice, Entei?  
BG: Oh shut up  
BG: This was the only place I could find that was big enough  
BG: This is not a natural storm  
[MOD] DD: yeah… i think that might be my fault?  
[MOD] DD: i think i triggered a storm cell with the rain dance i did the other day.  
TT: wait so it’s actually entei’s fault  
TT: cause you only did that rain dance to put the fire out that he caused  
[MOD] DD: that’s right!  
[MOD] TM: Now, why can’t you behave like this all the time?  
BG: I do you’re just never watching closely enough  
[MOD] DD: hey guess what ho-oh?  
[MOD] TM: What?  
[MOD] DD: that sorrel guy is telling ash about your legend.  
[MOD] TM:  
[MOD] TM: Oh no.  
[MOD] DD: kinda appropriate that zapdos is here too huh?  
TT: the mon  
TT: the myth  
TT: the legend  
[MOD] TM: The *vandal*.  
[MOD] TM: I liked that tower.  
TT: it was an eyesore  
TT: i crashed into it more than once  
SG: Look at it this way:  
SG: Ash having the legend explained to him by a human means he doesn’t have to make something up when someone asks him how he knows them.  
[MOD] TM: This is true.  
[MOD] TM: As long as he doesn’t show them the Rainbow Wing then.  
[MOD] DD: he showed them the rainbow wing.  
[MOD] TM: Ash you are literally going to destroy me.  
CS: I think that unlikely.  
CS: He’s going to need more Pokémon before he does that.  
[MOD] TM: Not helping, Suicune.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: I’m coming up to see what’s going on with this storm.  
BG: Could you  
[MOD] TM: @sevenStar Marshadow, they’re likely to spend all night in the cave.  
[MOD] TM: Transfer at your discretion.  
SS: ok  
twiceMulticolored [TM] fled the memo.  
UT: um, marshadow?  
UT: if you’re riding along with me, is it going to hurt or anything?  
SS: no  
SS: unless you stray  
UT: stray from what?  
UT: what happens if i do?  
SS: dont  
sevenStar [SS] fled the memo.  
UT: …  
UT: okay i think i’d better go.  
UT: i let brock and misty know what’s happening.  
UT: i’ll meet with them back at the pokémon center tomorrow.  
TT: assuming you can find it  
UT: sorrel has a map.  
TT: assuming you can read a map  
UT: :/  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
SG: I can’t stop thinking about that Charmander.  
SG: That was a reprehensible human being.  
SG: If Ash hadn’t been there…  
SG: It doesn’t bear thinking about.  
CS: I’m reading the past log, and yes, I agree.  
SG: Then you missed what we all witnessed.  
SG: The trainer - he said his name was Cross - kicked the Charmander when it attempted to return to him.  
SG: It wasn’t an out-of-the-way nudge.  
SG: It was intended to do harm.  
CS: …  
CS: It’s an unfortunate truth of the world we live in, that there are some who behave in such a manner.  
CS: We can do little but provide support to those who are left behind.  
SG: Fortunately, in this case, Ash is there to do that.  
SG: We should arrange to keep an eye on that Charmander.  
SG: I’ve known formerly trainer-owned Pokémon who were abandoned, and more than a few of them are permanently scarred.  
TT: so i guess this guy’s going on the soj hit list huh  
SG: The Swords of Justice don’t have a ‘hit list’.

* * *

twiceMulticolored [TM] began pestering scimitarGamma [SG].  
TM: I thought you might like to know that Ash has formally adopted the Charmander he met last night.  
TM: He has reunited with his friends in the Pokémon Center and is making sure the Charmander doesn’t have any hidden issues.  
SG: That’s good to hear.  
SG: Lugia must be proud of him.  
TM: Unfortunately Lugia is finding every excuse he can not to talk to Ash.  
TM: He’s extremely stressed about it, especially after he found out what happened on day one.  
SG: So, hold on.  
SG: Ash doesn’t even know?  
TM: He does not.  
TM: We’ve slipped up a couple of times, he knows *something* is up, but we’ve convinced him to wait for Lugia to tell him straight.  
TM: However long that takes.  
SG: Well, we can’t complain.  
SG: Technically speaking it is none of our business.  
TM: True.  
TM: In other news, Ash has expanded the party to five.  
TM: His enthusiasm is infectious, it seems.  
SG: But is that good or bad?  
TM: At the outset it looks like good news.  
TM: Sorrel has already proved himself useful - for a certain quality of the word - for providing Ash with a credible source for our legends.  
TM: (If it means we need to be even more careful than we were being.)  
TM: Verity seems keen on learning things from the two gym leaders.  
TM: Hm.  
SG: Something wrong?  
TM: No, it’s… there’s something about Verity that’s familiar for some reason, and I can’t place it.  
SG: As I recall you say that about a lot of people.  
TM: Also true.  
TM: Alas, humans tend to blur a little bit when you’ve lived for so long.  
TM: Anyway, enough of my blather.  
TM: I should let you get back to your duties.  
SG: Don’t let me keep you, Ho-oh.  
SG: It’s always a pleasure speaking with you.

* * *

UT: @walkaboutdistributor can you invite a couple more of my friends to the memo?  
walkaboutDistributor [WD] responded to [Camp Clearing].  
poryBot [PB] gave walkaboutDistributor [WD] the ‘administrator’ role.  
[ADMIN] WD: Sure.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Im against it zZz  
[ADMIN] WD: NN, I have noted your objection and I’m summarily ignoring it.  
[ADMIN] WD: I'll message you privately in a minute.  
[ADMIN] WD: What are their handles?  
UT: @mythicwisteria and @doodlestarly  
walkaboutDistributor [WD] invited mythicWisteria [MW] and doodleStarly [DS] to the memo.  
UT: since they’re going to be travelling with us it makes sense.  
doodleStarly [DS] joined [Camp Clearing].  
mythicWisteria [MW] joined [Camp Clearing].  
[ADMIN] WD: For the record, I think WW is trying to write a new speech recognition module for poryBot which would avoid anybody here having to have stuff repeated to them that they couldn’t catch in-person.  
UT: oh cool!  
UT: yeah, that’d help!  
UT: like this @unassumingboulder @unassumingboulder @unassumingboulder  
unassumingBoulder [UB] responded to [Camp Clearing].  
UB: What was that for?!  
UT: we’re all outside waiting for you, brock!  
UT: hurry up!  
UB: Ah, right. Sorry.  
unassumingBoulder [UB] fled the memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big big chapter. It has to be, since it completely throws out the original Charmander episode in favour of the replacement scene from I Choose You... and the first time Ash meets one of his penpals up close. Also there's some people here, I don't know who they are. We're mashing I Choose You into the anime like it's a banana here.
> 
> Verity and Sorrel's usernames have been added to the cribsheet.


	19. Episode 17 (Here Comes the Squirtle Squad)

unassumingBoulder [UB] began pestering mythicWisteria [MW].  
  
UB: You guys alright over there?  
MW: Misty scraped her knee, and I’m severely regretting picking this particular moment to give Lucario a rest, but otherwise, yes.  
MW: How about you?  
UB: Piplup’s still out cold.  
UB: I *think* Verity is trying to teach herself to speak Squirtle.  
UB: So roughly about the same.  
MW: Is this… normal, for you guys?  
MW: Around Ash?  
UB: Unfortunately yes.  
UB: Hang around Ash for even a few days and this just sort of starts happening after a while.  
UB: Pit traps, stampedes, thieves, everything.  
UB: Did Ash tell you about that time he accidentally released the Pokémon of an ancient hero who’d been in suspended animation for nearly two thousand years?  
MW: He wasn’t making that up?  
MW: He really did meet Sir Aaron’s Lucario?  
UB: I thought he showed you the pictures he took of Ho-oh.  
MW: Well, yes, but passing glimpses of Ho-oh have been written about enough times to follow a pattern.  
MW: In its capacity as both the Eternal Flame and the Storm’s End.  
MW: For desperate want for a better turn of phrase, Ho-oh choosing a Rainbow Hero is repeatable.  
MW: Sir Aaron doesn’t even compare on that scale.  
UB: I suppose not.  
UB: Ash is…  
UB: When he walked into my gym the first time, I thought he was underprepared.  
UB: I was right.  
UB: When he walked in the second time, I thought he hadn’t learned his lesson.  
MW: And?  
UB: Pikachu electrocuted my Geodude.  
MW: …Geodude is part Ground-type.  
MW: That’s not possible.  
UB: It shouldn’t have been, but it happened anyway.  
MW: …  
MW: No wonder that Ho-oh picked him as its champion, then.  
MW: Entei was probably sent to watch his progress.  
UB: One of Ash’s online friends mentioned that it’s not unusual for Entei to enter Kanto, just that it’s unusual to be seen doing so.  
UB: Is there any truth to that?  
MW: Well, the Ecruteak Beasts have hardly been the focus of my study, so I may be a little rusty where it comes to them.  
MW: But yes, I recall reading about unconfirmed sightings in a few places.  
MW: Which friend was this?  
UB: twiceMulticolored.  
MW: Hm.  
MW: I may have to speak to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little Brock/Sorrel interaction while they're waiting for Ash to get back with the medicine.
> 
> In this continuity, I have to be extremely careful with Sorrel, seeing as how he is specifically investigating legendary Pokémon. As Ho-oh mentioned previously, they may want to be a tiny bit more careful than they were being, say, one episode ago, before Ash met Sorrel. Oops.


	20. Episode 18, Part 1 (The First Full Battle!)

OG: Yeah no I still don’t get it  
DN: It’s not that hard.  
TT: it is when you explain it  
DN: I’ll try to speak slower, then.  
DN: Six is the standard Pokémon party size for most trainers. It’s the maximum number accepted in official battles.  
DN: There is nothing in any rulebook anywhere that prevents a trainer from carrying more than six.  
DN: Though obviously a degree of common sense is required because carrying around dozens of capture balls would just be impractical.  
TT: common sense is for boring people  
DN: Before an official battle, if the trainer has more than six Pokémon with or available to them, they are required to lock in their selection of six before the battle begins, to prevent cheating.  
DN: Unofficial battles such as the one Ash is now preparing to have are down to the participants’ discretion.  
DN: He and Gary have decided on six, and as Ash has only just caught Squirtle, he will be sitting this one out.  
OG: What happens to all the other Pokémon then  
DN: Were you not listening at all?  
OG: No  
TT: no  
DN: I hate the pair of you.  
DN: There are two options for Pokémon not in active use. The main one used by most trainers is the PC Storage System that simply stores Pokémon as data.  
DN: Ash has the additional option of having Professor Oak care for his additional Pokémon, which he intends to make full use of.  
DN: It’s a system available to all of the trainers who begin from Pallet Town.  
OG: Huh  
OG: Wonder if the Professor does good food  
DN: …  
DN: If you decide to let Ash capture you, brother, I really doubt that the quality of the food you may or may not be getting in your off-time is going to be the deciding factor.

* * *

SU: Nobody ever told me; who exactly is this Gary person?  
CS: I suppose you could call him one of Ash’s rivals.  
CS: He obtained a Pokémon from Professor Oak’s laboratory on the same day as Ash.  
CS: I imagine Ash feels he has something to prove, as Gary chose the Squirtle he desperately wanted.  
SU: One of?  
CS: Four trainers set off from Pallet at the same time. Ash, Gary, Chase and Elaine.  
CS: Ash battled Chase at the end of the first day, and only lost by the fact that Chase had already caught a second Pokémon.  
CS: Elaine… I think I caught a glimpse of her in Cerulean, but otherwise I don’t know.  
CS: Gary, however, is the more significant person, since apparently he’s disliked Ash for years.  
COT: yeah, i popped back to watch the off, he’s not a nice guy.  
COT: not like that cross guy ash bumped into, he’s not cruel or anything!  
COT: just… mean, i guess.  
COT: towards ash specifically.  
SU: I see.  
SU: Is that really unusual, though?  
SU: They are kids.  
CS: I suppose so.  
CS: Of course, it doesn’t help that Gary is Professor Oak’s grandson.  
SU: Ouch.  
SU: No, that won’t help.  
SU: Does Ash suspect nepotism?  
CS: No, thankfully not. He’s sensible in that regard.  
CS: He’s in full understanding that the choices were first-come, first-served, and, had Ash not overslept, he could have beaten Gary there.  
COT: and thus, pikachu!  
CS: I suppose you already knew he was going to get a Pikachu.  
COT: well, yes.  
COT: duh.  
COT: but he’s caught all three of the other choices anyway so i didn’t *know* pikachu was his first pokémon, nobody ever told me.  
COT: i legit thought it was his charizard and pikachu was just the favorite.  
SU: Charizard?  
CS: Charizard?  
COT: shit.  
COT: welp, meowth’s outta the bag, yes his charmander will have fully evolved when i first met him in a couple of years don’t tell him.  
CS: Well, if anybody could nurture an abused Pokémon to their final stage, it’s Ash.  
SU: So, wait, hold on.  
SU: Why would you have first met him in a couple of years’ time?  
SU: It seems odd for you to just jump in the middle.  
CS: Trust me, it’s not.  
COT: yeah, i… don’t wanna talk about it. :/  
COT: it was a very bad day for me all told.  
CS: Now *that* is odd.  
CS: You’re usually leaping about to give us spoilery hints.  
COT: you’ll just have to wait the long way!  
COT: you’ll see what i mean.  
CS: Will I?  
COT: yeah cause you were there.  
SU: I think that counts as a spoilery hint.

* * *

[MOD] NN: zZz I zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz Im sorry for my earlier behavior zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz I should be more respectful zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz You are Ashs friends zZz  
UB: I don’t think anyone took any offense.  
UB: I’ve met less social people.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Really zZz  
UB: Yeah.  
UB: Relatively speaking, I didn’t spend that long as Pewter’s gym leader, but it was enough to see pretty much every sort of trainer.  
UB: Everybody from eventual league-winners to people who had no business being trainers.  
UB: No true nightmares, thankfully, but certainly the darker side of things.  
UB: So trust me, compared to some people, you’re perfectly pleasant.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Oh zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz Well zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz Thanks zZz  
UB: Can I just ask, why do you do that?  
[MOD] NN: zZz Do what zZz  
UB: Put all of those Zs around your messages.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Uh zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz Im not sure how to answer that zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz Its just something I do zZz  
DS: cmon brock its just a fun thing he does  
DS: uh you are a he right?  
[MOD] NN: zZz Yes zZz  
UB: I suppose.  
DS: is it like a rule or something  
[MOD] NN: zZz No zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz TM has no such quirk zZz  
[MOD] TM: I *am* here.  
[MOD] TM: If only peripherally because the situation in the main memo is spiralling out of control.  
[MOD] TM: I’m actually surprised you’re awake, NN.  
[MOD] NN: zZz I dont feel like sleeping right now zZz  
DS: oh is it nighttime where you are?  
[MOD] NN: zZz Yes zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz I am in Kalos zZz  
DS: oh cool!  
UB: Huh. I’ve always been meaning to take a trip to Kalos.  
UB: Especially Lumiose City.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Take it from me Lumoise City isnt as nice as everyone thinks it is zZz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to split this episode in half because otherwise it was just too long. This first half contains some more Moltres infodumping, but in context, Celebi, Suicune and Tapu Bulu discussing Gary and a certain future movie, and a last-minute addition of Zygarde attempting to be more sociable while a pre-battle lunch is eaten.
> 
> So anyway, you know how your rival pops out of nowhere to battle you? Gary stuck around after his cameo in the last episode and both he and Ash have enough Pokémon for a 6v6, which you'll read about in the second half (and which makes up most of the length). In canon, despite Gary being his main rival, Ash never got to battle him until the end of the Orange Islands. This has been corrected.
> 
> I've accidentally run into a pacing problem here, with several 'long' episodes bunched together (15, 16, 18, 19 and 22) with not many shorter ones wedged in between. A lot happens in this section though.


	21. Episode 18, Part 2 (The First Full Battle!)

twiceMulticolored [TM] muted all non-moderators.  
[MOD] TM: Okay, this got out of control quickly, so let’s everyone calm down.  
[MOD] TM: I fail to see why there’s such sudden interest, after the same familiar faces since the beginning of Ash’s journey.  
[MOD] DD: entertainment value.  
[MOD] DD: who wouldn’t want to watch ash’s first 6v6?  
[ADMIN] DW: Ash’s timing is phenomenal.  
[ADMIN] DW: This battle is taking place right at the point when everybody’s spring tasks are finished and summer hasn’t really started yet.  
[ADMIN] DW: I suppose we should be thankful that Ash is providing everybody with an outlet as opposed to just unleashing dozens of bored legendaries on the world.  
[ADMIN] DW: Which means, everyone, I expect you to all be on your best behavior.  
[MOD] SC: That means you, Groudon, Kyogre.  
[MOD] SC: Either one of you starts making a fuss and I’m banning both of you.  
[MOD] SC: I don’t know why you’re even interested so you’d better not be here just to argue with each other.  
[MOD] DD: tbf we could probably just unmute some people and let everyone else talk about it in their own memos.  
[MOD] SC: That would just flood the other memos.  
[MOD] DD: make them take it to shitposting or something? i dunno.  
[MOD] DD: in any case!  
decibelDrama [DD] unmuted offensiveGlaceon [OG].  
decibelDrama [DD] unmuted thunderbirbTwo [TT].  
decibelDrama [DD] unmuted dantesNferno [DN].  
decibelDrama [DD] unmuted crystallineSlush [CS].  
decibelDrama [DD] unmuted blazingGlory [BG].  
[MOD] DD: ‘cause the birds and i have a vested interest and entei and suicune are, y’know, here.  
CS: Thank you, Mew.  
TT: how’s it even taken so long for them to set this up  
DN: Because it is, as it happens and as you appear to have forgotten, lunchtime.  
DN: It’s fortunate Gary isn’t so arrogant as to force his Pokémon to fight on an empty stomach.  
[ADMIN] DW: Hm. I think Mew’s idea might be for the better.  
[ADMIN] DW: @here If you wish to join the whitelist for this discussion, message me privately and I’ll consider unmuting you.  
[ADMIN] DW: Otherwise, take your chat to the Legendarium shitposting channel.  
twiceMulticolored [TM] unmuted scimitarGamma [SG].  
CS: We may have to also gently remind Ash that battling *immediately* after eating isn’t a good idea either.  
DN: Unless it’s a Snorlax.  
OG: Battling using a Snorlax is a bad idea full stop  
OG: Cause you can’t  
DN: Under normal circumstances, yes.  
DN: However a Snorlax loaded up with very offensive moves and Sleep Talk is a force to be reckoned with.  
[MOD] TM: Do we know what Pokémon Gary is intending to use?  
[MOD] DD: i know he’s got a whole bunch.  
[MOD] DD: it’s ridiculous it’s like he’s been flinging Pokéballs everywhere.  
[MOD] DD: he’s gonna use his squirtle but that’s all i could overhear.  
doctorWhom [DW] unmuted grassrootsOptimism [GO].  
doctorWhom [DW] unmuted monarchUkulele [MU].  
doctorWhom [DW] unmuted chasingMendacity [CM].  
doctorWhom [DW] unmuted mordantConcept [MC].  
doctorWhom [DW] unmuted welshStaccato [WS].  
doctorWhom [DW] unmuted topiaryDreamscape [TD].  
[ADMIN] DW: Everybody else, you failed to make your case.  
[ADMIN] DW: And I’m going to carry out my threat:  
doctorWhom [DW] banned dualistTao [DT] from responding to the memo. (Reason: Being unnecessarily rude about it.)  
GO: Huzzah!  
winCondition [WC] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] DW: Celebi, much as your case was well-made, I know for a fact that your future self will try to join and tell us to pay attention to the ‘good bits’.  
[ADMIN] DW: So no, you’re not.  
[MOD] SC: In which case, I’ll take my leave.  
OG: Not staying Ray  
[MOD] SC: Sure as I am that this is going to be interesting, I actually still have work to do.  
[MOD] SC: There’s some space debris hanging about and I need to keep an eye on it.  
[MOD] SC: Another time, maybe.  
skylineCrash [SC] fled the memo.  
WS: <} So uh.  
WS: <} Never been to one of these before.  
WS: <} How does it work?  
TT: at the moment you just wait for giratina  
[MOD] TM: Who in turn is waiting for the Lake Trio and Mew to let him know when the battle’s about to start.  
[MOD] DD: actually ash is kinda waiting on me rn.  
[MOD] DD: dw we shouldn’t be waiting too long.  
GO: Waiting for what?  
[ADMIN] DW: Mew, if this is one of your catbrained schemes again…  
[MOD] DD: oh relax it’s not!  
[ADMIN] DW: You’re not inspiring much confidence.  
TD: The last time you said it wasn’t one of your schemes things didn’t go well, I recall.  
TT: yeah  
TT: i ended up in a river and art exploded  
[MOD] DD: it’s really not!  
[ADMIN] DW: Prove it.  
[MOD] DD: hit ‘em, resh.  
MC: SHE’S NOT LYING.  
[MOD] DD: and for the double whammy!  
theOne [TO] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave theOne [TO] the ‘administrator’ role.  
[ADMIN] TO: Dialga, be patient.  
[ADMIN] TO: It was my idea.  
theOne [TO] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] DW: …yes, father.  
[MOD] DD: thanks grandad.  
GO: So, again:  
GO: What are you waiting for?  
[MOD] DD: oh, we’re just waiting for one more to join us.  
[MOD] DD: any moment now!  
[MOD] TM: One more?  
[MOD] TM: Wait, you don’t mean…  
beastieBirb [BB] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave beastieBirb [BB] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] DD: that’s exactly what i mean!  
[MOD] DD: @ultimatetrainer @wonkywindlass @counterweightwillow @gallimaufrywheeze @notarymemento and it’s go, go, go!  
[MOD] TM: Welcome, Lugia.  
wonkyWindlass [WW] is now streaming!  
CS: I feel like I need to add that following this morning’s shenanigans, Team Rocket are not in the area so will not be interrupting.  
[MOD] CW: i will (confirm) that  
[MOD] BB: Is it usually this busy?  
BG: No  
CS: It usually tends to be Mew, Father, at least one of the birds, whichever of myself or Entei is on long watch duty, and then it gets busier during gym battles.  
[MOD] DD: round one start!  
[MOD] DD: ash’s charmander vs gary’s…  
[MOD] DD: spearow.  
[MOD] TM: I feel like Ash would rather not face one of those again.  
CS: Oh dear Arceus that’s brutal.  
SG: It hasn’t been that long since Charmander was abandoned by its previous trainer.  
SG: Ash needs to avoid putting it in these situations.  
[MOD] DD: he.  
SG: My apologies.  
OG: Come on Ash  
OG: You can do this  
OG: It’s just a Spearow  
SG: At the very least Gary isn’t pleased with that behavior either.  
SG: This doesn’t speak much of his ability as a trainer, mind, if he can’t keep that bird under control.  
[MOD] TM: How good of a trainer *is* Gary?  
[ADMIN] DW: Good enough that he’s been focused enough to get up to Aureolin Town, defeat the gym leader there, and attain a one-badge advantage.  
TT: yeah ash’s path has been a bit schizo  
TT: lost and/or distracted  
TT: sounds like somebody we know  
[MOD] BB: I resent that insinuation, Zapdos.  
OG: I bet you he’s lost right now  
OG: Hey Lugia where are you rn  
[MOD] TM: That’s enough of that.  
[MOD] DD: ooh  
GO: What was that?  
DN: It’s likely to have been Charmander’s ability, Blaze.  
DN: In tight situations it increases the strength of Fire-type moves.  
[MOD] DD: that’s what i call a turnabout!  
[MOD] DD: ash 1, gary nil!  
SG: If I were he I’d withdraw Charmander right now.  
SG: He’s no longer in a fit state to battle.  
SG: Good.  
DN: That was one of mine.  
DN: ‘To finish first, first you have to finish.’  
TT: you didn’t make that up  
DN: No, but I appropriated it.  
DN: Anyway, technically, Ash *did* withdraw Charmander rather than Charmander being eliminated, so that doesn’t count as a point in Gary’s favor.  
GO: So, wait.  
GO: Ash could still call him back out?  
GO: That doesn’t seem fair to Charmander.  
DN: I said technically.  
DN: It’s within the rules, but I don’t think he’ll do it.  
[MOD] TM: No, he knows his Pokémon’s limits.  
GO: Aw, that was cute.  
[MOD] DD: aww  
CS: What happened? I missed it.  
GO: Ash gave him a hug and apologized for not thinking of anything sooner.  
SG: The only better thing he could have done was not let Charmander get into that situation to begin with, but yes, that was well thought-of on his part.  
[MOD] DD: ash’s eevee vs gary’s female nidoran!  
TD: Gary seems… upset.  
[MOD] TM: He does?  
TD: It was only for a moment.  
TD: Mesprit, did you catch that?  
nebulaDiscursor [ND] fled the memo.  
[MOD] GW: IDid!  
[MOD] GW: SensingPotentialConcealedJealousy.  
[MOD] GW: AMoveStraightIntoAnInsultSupportsThat.  
DN: Eevee is considered a rare Pokémon in some circles.  
TD: Perhaps Gary was intending to catch one of his own and parade that.  
nebulaDiscursor [ND] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
[MOD] DD: well too bad!  
MU: I’m noticing Ash seems to prefer small, fast Pokémon.  
TT: yup that’s my fault  
TT: hit em hard hit em fast and never give em a chance to react  
DN: I’d hardly describe Bulbasaur as ‘fast’ though.  
OG: You weren’t there for the second matchup of the fairy gym  
[MOD] TM: Yes. While Bulbasaur may currently be the slowest of Ash’s team on paper, agility can manifest itself in  
WS: <} What the actual fuck.  
[MOD] TM: …other ways.  
OG: Oh neat it’s that trick again  
MU: It’s great to see that Ash remembered that!  
[MOD] DD: you think we’d let him forget it?  
BG: That won’t work against us  
TT: oh rly  
CS: Where did that come from?  
CS: You think Ash is going to run straight off and come after us with Eevee?  
[MOD] BB: I rather hope he’s more sensible than that.  
[MOD] TM: He is.  
[MOD] TM: He appears to be collecting a variety of clever tactics so that he can use absolutely none of them when fighting your charges.  
[MOD] BB: What?  
[MOD] TM: He’s being remarkably devious about it.  
[MOD] TM: Either that or he has no plan at all, and I don’t know which is worse.  
[MOD] DD: OOF  
GO: Oof, that had to hurt.  
CS: If that doesn’t seriously impair Eevee’s ability to continue I’ll be very surprised.  
CS: A kick to the face will do that to you.  
DN: And that is exactly why Normal-types are weak against Fighting-type moves.  
CS: Not surprised.  
OG: 1-1  
MU: Brock looks right at home performing as a referee.  
GO: Oh, I thought they were called Battle Judges.  
TD: It depends on who you ask.  
[MOD] DD: pidgeotto subs in!  
DN: This should go quickly.  
DN: Nidoran is tired and Ash has had the opportunity to observe how she battles.  
[MOD] TM: Plus, as I recall, Nidoran don’t have access to many attacks that would hit a flyer.  
[MOD] TM: I agree with Moltres.  
TT: there’s a first  
[MOD] TM: There’s no need to be rude.  
[MOD] TM: You could learn a lot from watching th

* * *

mythicWisteria [MW] began pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].

MW: Hi, you’re one of Ash’s friends, right?  
MW: Brock says you spoke to him about the movements of the Ecruteak Beasts?

* * *

[MOD] TM:  
[MOD] TM: Fuck me.  
TT: no thanks  
GO: ?  
[MOD] TM: I have to take this, sorry.  
twiceMulticolored [TM] fled the memo.  
CS: I dread to think what Raikou has done now.  
[MOD] DD: okay did anyone think pidgeotto *wasn’t* going to win that?  
MU: My brothers are making bets on who’s going to win.  
MU: Or at least, Koko is.  
OG: Which memo is that going down in  
OG: I want in  
[MOD] DD: :/  
OG: I bet Fire and Lightning Islands on Ash  
TT: you can’t bet my island  
TT: it’s not yours  
DN: But not confident enough to bet your own island?  
[MOD] BB: Guys, settle.  
[MOD] DD: who’s up next…  
[MOD] DD: that cocky fuck!  
[ADMIN] DW: Mind your tongue, Mew.  
[ADMIN] DW: I won’t have you describing a ten-year-old like that, even if his behavior leaves much to be desired.  
[MOD] DD: sorry  
[MOD] DD: it’s just  
[MOD] DD: i can see why ash doesn’t like him now!  
TD: It was unnecessarily rude of Gary, I think.  
TD: It’s fair he didn’t go for type advantage but he didn’t need to brag about not needing it.  
nebulaDiscursor [ND] fled the memo.  
nebulaDiscursor [ND] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
OG: Aaaaand there goes the Growlithe  
CS: Okay, limbs up who saw that one coming.  
CS: o/  
GO: o/  
OG: o/  
TT: o/  
[MOD] DD: o/  
BG: What are you doing  
TT: emoting  
TT: clearly  
BG: Sister  
BG: Why did you actually raise a paw as if everyone were actually here  
CS: Whoops.  
CS: I’m just glad I wasn’t in range of that this time.  
GO: Is he going to go for the  
GO: He is.  
[MOD] DD: c’mon ash you remember how badly this matchup went last time!  
TT: should’ve picked squirtle  
CS: He’s had Squirtle all of a few hours.  
DN: Good, he remembered he can switch himself.  
MU: Bulbasaur?  
MU: Bulbasaur.  
[MOD] DD: oh yeah butterfree didn’t do well against brock’s geodude either…  
GO: That’s a thing.  
GO: Why doesn’t he battle Brock and/or Misty more often?  
GO: They’re both gym leaders, it’d be like training with a mobile gym.  
GO: I’ll see what he thinks later.  
[ADMIN] DW: Shaymin. No hand-holding.  
WS: <} WTF  
TD: That was… something.  
OG: Oh you’ve not seen Bulbasaur in action before  
DN: Rather one-sided in favor of Bulbasaur, I think, even before type matchups.  
TT: look at gary’s face he didn’t see that coming either  
TT: take that  
SG: So long as Ash doesn’t let Bulbasaur turn into a one-trick Ponyta.  
[MOD] BB: I have to say this seems to be a rather even battle so far.  
[MOD] BB: Both sides have trained well.  
[MOD] DD: it was amaranth town that did it.  
[MOD] DD: ash actually got to use bulbasaur against somebody sane rather than team rocket.  
TT: very this  
TD: And here’s the Growlithe again.  
DN: Question is, does Ash have a plan for dealing with Fire-types when he has a Grass-type on the field?  
GO: o.o  
TD: And the answer to that question is ‘no’.  
CM: WHAT’S THE SCORE AGAIN  
CM: I LOST COUNT  
CS: Um.  
[MOD] DD: tbh i stopped paying attention to the count too  
BG: FFS  
BG: Ash is down Eevee and Bulbasaur  
BG: He withdrew Charmander  
BG: Gary is down Spearow, Nidoran and Geodude  
[MOD] BB: Well, at least somebody’s paying attention.  
CS: Stop preening, brother.  
CS: It makes you look ridiculous.  
MU: Pidgeotto again.  
MU: Is this just going to be a repeat of last time?  
MU: I hope not.  
DN: Both of them have learned from the last time.  
DN: I’d be very surprised if the outcome was the same.  
DN: See.  
OG: And Pidgeotto is very much *not* a one trick Ponyta  
[MOD] DD: look at her go!  
TD: Oh, Pidgeotto’s female?  
[MOD] DD: yep!  
[MOD] DD: she’s the only girl on the team atm.  
DN: That Growlithe must be very young. It hasn’t yet learned not to follow absolutely everything with its eyes.  
OG: Whoo  
OG: 4-2 to Ash  
SG: I’ll remind you that Charmander is in no state to continue fighting.  
SG: It’s more like 4-3.  
TT: this should be interesting  
OG: Oh yeah  
[MOD] BB: Why’s that?  
TT: ash wanted that squirtle  
TT: he was dead set on it  
[MOD] DD: right up until he got to the lab and was told the usual starters were all gone.  
nebulaDiscursor [ND] fled the memo.  
CS: I can’t imagine it’ll affect him too much, seeing as Ash now has a Squirtle of his own anyway.  
OG: True that  
MU: …hold on.  
MU: Four trainers set off from Pallet on the same day, right?  
OG: Yeah  
groundShaker [GS] fled the memo.  
tsunamiBeluga [TB] fled the memo.  
MU: Somebody told me Pikachu was only a last resort?  
MU: So why were there only three regular starters available???  
[MOD] DD: i didn’t think about that.  
MU: I guess Celebi knows because she’s pinging me???  
CS: Oh no.  
CS: Oh no.  
CS: …what? I didn’t say that twice.  
MU: Wait all the messages are gone.  
[ADMIN] DW: Apologies.  
[ADMIN] DW: I had to make a timeline correction and discipline Celebi for getting overexcited with her spoilers.  
[ADMIN] DW: There may have been a few seconds of overlap.  
CS: *Thank* you.  
GO: Wow!  
GO: That’s some sharpshooting!  
OG: Great this guy’s got an anti-air Squirtle  
OG: Bro you can deal with him  
DN: What?  
DN: What are you talking about?  
SG: And that’s 4-4.  
BG: 4-3  
[MOD] DD: sorry vir but he is right.  
DN: Yes.  
DN: By the *rules*, Charmander is still an active participant of the battle.  
DN: Admittedly, that’s Ash’s fault. He neglected to specify that he was withdrawing Charmander from the battle entirely.  
SG: Hmph.  
TT: c’mon vir don’t baby the charmander  
DN: If Ash is smart here he’ll use Pikachu.  
WS: <} That’s not a Pikachu.  
DN: Correct, Zamazenta, that’s his Butterfree.  
nebulaDiscursor [ND] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
[MOD] GW: DeoxysCanYouStopDoingThatPlease!  
[MOD] DD: oh shit  
CS: At least he’s not being too reliant on type advantages.  
TT: i didn’t even think of that  
TT: fuck so he might come at us with eevee after all  
CS: Hmmm.  
OG: Why isn’t this working  
[MOD] BB: All of the water that Squirtle is putting out is saturating the air and neutralizing Butterfree’s powder moves.  
[MOD] BB: Well, almost neutralizing, anyway. I think that Poisonpowder just hit.  
TT: wait is that what you do when you stop me from zapping you  
[MOD] BB: Saltwater shield. Yes, congratulations, Zapdos. You’ve learned a lesson about physics.  
TT: why did i not know this  
DN: Why didn’t you know that?  
DN: I did.  
OG: Showoff  
GO: Darn.  
[MOD] DD: yeah, butterfree just can’t catch a break.  
CS: So you’re feeling sympathy for the demon now?  
[MOD] DD: well yeah!  
[MOD] DD: pikachu up!  
TD: Hmmm. That should be interesting.  
OG: What was that  
TD: Gary just said he trained his Squirtle specifically to deal with Electric-types.  
TD: I wonder if it’s that technique Lugia just mentioned.  
CS: I’d imagine that Squirtle’s still fairly young. All of its water moves are going to generate freshwater.  
GO: And besides, has Gary trained his Squirtle to deal with an Electric-type who electrocuted a Ground-type?  
WS: <} WTF  
WS: <} When did that happen?!  
DN: A few weeks ago.  
DN: Were you not paying attention, at all?  
WS: <} I was kind of busy!  
CS: AGH  
[MOD] DD: whoa!  
[MOD] DD: you okay, suicune?  
OG: What was that  
[MOD] DD: stray bolt!  
CM: STRAY BOLTS AREN’T A THING.  
CM: ELECTRIC MOVES ALWAYS HIT *A* TARGET.  
CS: Ask  
CS: Ask me again later  
crystallineSlush [CS] fainted.  
MU: I think we should probably be concerned that Pikachu missed Squirtle and landed a direct hit on Suicune instead?  
DN: It could have happened to anybody who happened to be standing there.  
DN: Entei, you’re over in that direction, right?  
BG: Not any more  
GO: Huh, weird.  
[MOD] DD: what?  
GO: Mesprit just panned their camera over the spectators.  
GO: I would’ve thought they’d all be paying full attention but Sorrel’s spending half the time looking at his phone.  
SG: They are only children. I wouldn’t penalize them for having social lives.  
GO: Still…  
CM: AN EASY VICTORY  
OG: Yeah  
OG: No match for Pikachu  
BG: So Gary has one left  
[MOD] DD: and it is…  
[MOD] DD: a *male* nidoran.  
GO: Fair.  
GO: I mean, I know some Nidoking and Nidoqueen and they do have different base coverage.  
DN: Pikachu shouldn’t have too much trouble here.  
OG: Don’t say things like that  
DN: Oh?  
OG: You never never *never* tempt fate  
OG: Even if it’s probably right  
MU: Nidoran are just Poison-type, right?  
GO: Yes.  
TD: Oh, that’s good.  
TD: He’s remembering how Eevee fared against the other Nidoran.  
TD: I agree with Moltres, actually. Nidoran are very much melee fighters. Pikachu has more ranged options.  
TT: ow  
OG: Come on Ash wtf was that  
TD: Of course, it takes Ash remembering that you still need to position yourself to use them…  
[MOD] DD: aw man you hate to see it become a battle of attrition.  
[MOD] BB: All that means is that they’re evenly matched.  
[MOD] BB: Would you prefer Ash to have won in a landslide victory?  
[MOD] DD: well  
[MOD] DD: yeah  
[MOD] DD: and shove it into gary’s face!  
DN: It’s closer than I expected, yes, but Pikachu should still be able to win this.  
[MOD] DD: huh, i  
[MOD] DD: oh you’re fucking kidding me.  
GO: Welp.  
SG: Mew, did you know that Nidoran was about to evolve?  
[MOD] DD: about half a second before it happened, yeah.  
TT: nooooo  
OG: What did I just say  
OG: RIP  
MU: That Nidorino looks like it’s about to keel over too.  
MU: That was very close.  
GO: Shame.  
DN: Ahem.  
OG: What now  
DN: As Brock is pointing out, it’s still 5-5.  
GO: Oh?  
GO: OH  
GO: Charmander!  
SG: I’ll take a very low view if he forces Charmander to fight again.  
DN: It won’t be nice, but it *is* the rules.  
DN: Of course there’s nothing stopping him from just forfeiting now.  
TD: That’s a conflicted expression.  
[MOD] GW: HeWantsToWinButHeDoesntWantToHurtCharmander!  
[MOD] BB: Here, I think, we’ll see how Ash prioritizes his ambitions.  
OG: Nervous  
[MOD] BB: Of course I’m nervous.  
TT: first time  
OG: What  
MU: What???  
[MOD] DD: what the actual fuck.  
TT: what  
BG: What  
TD: What?  
DN:  
[MOD] DD: sorry, *what the fuck*.  
GO: Did  
GO: Did Gary just throw the match???  
SG: Fascinating.  
SG: He saw that Ash was about to forfeit and had Brock declare it a tie.  
[MOD] GW: MostInteresting!  
[MOD] GW: ThatIsAnEmotionIveNotHadTheOpportunityToExamineCloselyBefore!  
MU: Why didn’t he just win???  
MC: A MATTER MOST TRUTHFUL.  
MC: WERE CHARMANDER AND NIDORINO TO FIGHT THEY WOULD SURELY TIE ANYWAY.  
MC: GARY IS MORE THAN YOU ALL TOOK HIM FOR.  
SG: Reshiram is right.  
SG: I hadn’t even considered it, but…  
[MOD] GW: GaryDoesntWantAshToForfeitAgainstHim!  
[MOD] GW: HeWantedToWinTheProperWay!  
MC: IT IS THE MARK OF A TRUE RIVAL.  
MC: HE DOESN’T WANT TO *CRUSH* ASH.  
MC: HE WANTS A FAIR FIGHT FROM WHICH THEY BOTH IMPROVE.  
MC: EVEN IF HE HIDES THAT BEHIND SARCASM AND INSULTS.  
TT: #ashshould’vewon  
OG: #justiceforpikachu  
SG: And given that he at least tried to forfeit, my faith in Ash’s integrity has been renewed.  
[MOD] BB: Agreed.  
[MOD] BB: The end of victory means little if you must hurt your friends to get there.  
TT: you hurt us  
TT: you hurt us very much  
[MOD] BB: I think of you as fellow legendaries.  
[MOD] BB: I don’t think of you as friends.  
GO: OUCH  
[MOD] DD: o u c h  
MU: Ouch  
TT: welp  
TT: consider me told  
[MOD] DD: so how was that for you, lugia and zamazenta?  
[MOD] DD: how was watching your first ash battle?  
WS: <} I kinda lost track about halfway through I’m gonna be honest.  
WS: <} But it was really showy.  
[MOD] BB: I think I should be thanking you for convincing me to go through with this, Mew.  
[MOD] BB: It wasn’t as bad as I feared.  
[MOD] BB: It was only a single battle, but even that shows me so much.  
[MOD] DD: you should tell him that then!  
BG: @wonkyWindlass You can stop streaming now  
[MOD] DD: yeah, i don’t think there’s gonna be anything else.  
[ADMIN] WW: ANY OBJECTIONS  
TD: No, but I have a question.  
[ADMIN] WW: YES  
TD: Are you sure the Reverse World portals are invisible from the outside?  
TD: I’m pretty sure I saw Ash look directly at one of the cameras at one point.  
[ADMIN] WW: PROBABLY COINCIDENCE  
[MOD] NM: No , That Was My Fault .  
[MOD] NM: I Sneezed .  
wonkyWindlass [WW] stopped streaming.  
GO: @blazingGlory @decibelDrama is Suicune okay?  
current outtaTime [COT] fled the memo.  
BG: Uh  
[MOD] DD: shit!  
[MOD] DD: she got knocked out, didn’t she!  
[MOD] DD: that’s gonna draw attention!  
BG:  
BG: She is no longer here  
nebulaDiscursor [ND] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] DW: Fortunately, I was paying attention, if neither of you were.  
solarMaverick [SM] fled the memo.  
nestedTempo [NT] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] DW: I had Celebi relocate her to somewhere more secure.  
[ADMIN] DW: Entei, I will be having a talk with Ho-oh about your casual abandonment of your sister like that.  
BG: Fuck  
GO: Speaking of, where did he get to?  
GO: Raikou was doing something?  
crystallineSlush [CS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
CS: I’m fine, by the way.  
CS: Celebi took me back to the tower about an hour ago.  
CS: That was extremely unpleasant.  
topiaryDreamscape [TD] fled the memo.  
CS: But strangely, father is not here, nor is Raikou.  
[MOD] DD: huh.  
[MOD] DD: anyway, show’s over everyone!  
[MOD] DD: back to your regularly scheduled nothing!  
monarchUkulele [MU] fled the memo.  
mordantConcept [MC] fled the memo.  
octetMelody [OM] fled the memo.  
SG: I’m going to stick around until Ash joins us, just to talk to him about Charmander.  
CS: I’m on my way back.  
welshStaccato [WS] fled the memo.  
TT: hey art come over  
TT: we’re gonna see if we can get around lugia’s water shields  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] fled the memo.  
OG: Now there’s an idea I can get behind  
OG: We’re coming for you Lugia  
[MOD] BB: Challenge accepted, Articuno.  
[MOD] BB: You’ll have to find me first.  
OG: Where are you  
[MOD] BB: Lost, remember? ;)

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] began pestering beastieBirb [BB].

UT: hi!  
UT: mew said you wanted to talk to me?  
BB: …  
BB: I guess I did.  
BB: I wanted to say that was an excellent battle, Ash.  
UT: even though i didn’t win?  
BB: If we won every battle, we wouldn’t learn anything.  
BB: You don’t seem to be too put-off by your loss.  
UT: i mean, yeah, i really didn’t want to lose to gary.  
UT: but i guess he didn’t want an easy victory either?  
UT: it’s weird, he’s never acted like that before at all.  
BB: But you haven’t ever battled him before.  
UT: yeah i guess.  
UT: and it’s like mew keeps saying, i need to stay positive.  
UT: she said i need to think of every loss as a victory in itself.  
BB: That’s… very astute, for her.  
UT: i think she copied that from somewhere.  
BB: Watching that battle told me a lot about your integrity.  
BB: Especially with regards to Charmander.  
BB: You fully accepted that the unsatisfactory way the matchup ended was your fault, and apologized.  
BB: It’s very rare to hear trainers apologizing to their Pokémon for things like that.  
UT: do see a lot of trainers?  
UT: i thought you and the other birds lived in the orange islands.  
BB: More than you might think.  
BB: Shamouti has a festival that brings trainers to the area every year, and the Orange League has its fair number of competitors.  
UT: orange league?  
UT: is that another pokémon league?  
BB: Not in the traditional sense.  
BB: It doesnt conclude with a full-blown tournament.  
BB: It’s more of a challenge run.  
UT: i’ll have to try it sometime!  
BB: I don’t doubt you’d have a good time.  
UT: what was that festival you said?  
UT: maybe i’ll do it in time for that.  
BB: I wouldn’t worry about it too much, you’re training for the Kanto League, and the day itself is in less than a month.  
BB: It’s looking to be a hot summer so the Islands will be packed with tourists anyway.  
BB: Besides, the tradition generally involves myself and the birds, and I gather you’re looking for more experience before you challenge any of us.  
UT: oh, cool!  
UT: you guys actually have a tradition actually about you!  
UT: what’s it about?  
BB: Well.  
BB: Like most traditions, it actually rises from a misunderstanding.  
BB: It centres around a ‘prophecy’ that concerns us.  
UT: and by ‘prophecy’ you mean…  
BB: I’ll tell you what it says.  
BB: Ahem.  
BB: ‘Disturb not the harmony of fire, ice or lightning;  
BB: Lest these titans wreak destruction upon the world in which they clash.  
BB: Though the water’s great guardian shall arise to quell the fighting;  
BB: Alone its song will fail, thus the Earth shall turn to ash.  
BB: From the trio of islands ancient spheres shall you take;  
BB: Into thine hands bring together all three -  
BB: For between life and death, all the difference you make;  
BB: Their treasures combined tame the beast of the sea.  
BB: Climb to the shrine to right what is wrong -  
BB: And the world will be healed by the guardian’s song.’  
BB: That’s it.  
UT: uh  
UT: but what does it mean?  
BB: Well, like most old ‘prophecies’, it’s actually a generic warning in the structure of ‘don’t do this, this is what’ll happen if you do this; if you did this, you’re an idiot and here’s what you need to do to fix it.’  
UT: lol  
UT: so fire ice and lightning is obviously the birds, so… don’t disturb them?  
BB: The thing you need to understand about Shamouti is we’re sat on what we call a climate nexus.  
BB: Any severe weather disruption here affects a massive underwater current, which then goes on to have major effects elsewhere in the world.  
BB: That’s the ‘beast of the sea’.  
UT: but… aren’t those three always fighting anyway?  
BB: Yes, which is why I’m always here to stop them from doing it.  
BB: I should thank you, actually. Since they’re so invested in your journey, they’ve been behaving themselves more.  
UT: so that would make you the water’s great guardian.  
BB: Exactly.  
BB: Though it’s fairly common that people assume the ‘beast’ is also me, hence the username.  
BB: For the most part, their fighting isn’t actually enough to cause any problems, otherwise, well, the Earth would probably be ash already.  
BB: The warning’s more about external forces, humans mostly, coming in and disrupting the balance they have between them and making things worse.  
UT: i guess that makes sense?  
BB: So then it goes on about the ‘treasures’, which are basically little orbs of concentrated aura.  
UT: oh, that stuff lucario mentioned.  
BB: there’s one of them in each of their nests, which a chosen trainer has to retrieve and take to Shamouti - that’s the last two lines - and then that helps me settle everything back down.  
UT: isn’t it kyogre’s job to sort out the oceans?  
BB: Ash, there’s one very important thing you should know about Kyogre.  
BB: She does not care.  
BB: At all.  
BB: She was probably the one who put the beast there in the first place.  
UT: this is really interesting!  
UT: what about that part about your song failing?  
BB: That’s mostly there just to tell the reader that if you disturbed the birds’ harmony, it’s not going to fix itself.  
UT: oh right.  
BB: So getting back to the traditional misunderstanding, the actions that should be performed in the second half only need to be done if the world is in peril from the first half.  
BB: But the islanders of Shamouti do it every year anyway.  
BB: And more power to them. They get tourism for it every year, and it tends to be the one day that the birds all work together to stop any challengers from ruining the fun anyway.  
UT: i’ll really have to remember to visit then!  
UT: maybe after the league.  
UT: i gotta go. nice talking to you!

ultimateTrainer [UT] stopped pestering beastieBirb [BB].

BB: …It was good to talk to you too, Ash.

* * *

doodleStarly [DS] began pestering tropicalWaterfall [TW].

DS: are you asleep, misty?  
TW: Verity?  
TW: aren’t you only a few feet away from me?  
DS: im at the edge of camp  
DS: cant sleep :(  
DS: was thinking about ashs battle earlier  
DS: hes only just started and hes a great trainer already  
TW: I wouldn’t go *that* far…  
TW: he’s… got a lot to learn still.  
DS: but its not just him  
DS: its you and brock and sorrel too  
DS: youre all so great with your pokémon  
DS: you and brock are gym leaders  
DS: and sorrel wants to be a professor  
DS: im just  
DS: i dunno  
DS: here  
TW: hey now, don’t be like that.  
TW: you have Piplup, right?  
DS: yeah but  
DS: piplups just piplup  
TW: you know, Starmie was my first Pokémon.  
TW: and if I’m honest… I didn’t want it at first.  
DS: really?  
TW: what I really wanted, more than anything, was a Milotic.  
TW: even when I got told that Milotic were too tough to handle for first-time trainers, I didn’t want anything else.  
TW: but I got a Staryu instead.  
TW: I got upset. I wouldn’t talk to my family for days.  
TW: when dad asked what was wrong with Staryu, I said…  
TW: ‘Staryu’s… just a Staryu.’  
DS: wow, really?  
DS: the same thing?  
TW: yeah.  
TW: dad told me that I should see what Staryu could do first.  
TW: so I battled my sister Lily, and her starter, Seel.  
DS: what happened  
TW: I was telling myself that I’d never be winning unless I had a Milotic.  
TW: but then… I won anyway.  
TW: now you can’t pry Starmie away from me.  
TW: so even if Piplup’s ‘just Piplup’, he’s still something special to you.  
DS: :o  
DS: i didnt think of it that way  
TW: you should get some sleep. we’ve got a couple of days until we reach Vermilion.  
DS: yeah i  
DS: misty  
TW: yes, Verity?  
DS: mISTY  
TW: what?  
DS: SUICUNE IS RIGHT THERE  
TW: what???  
DS: ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE POND  
DS: JUST HAVING A DRINK  
DS: IM NOT JOKING  
DS: MISTY  
TW: i see it!  
TW: wow…  
TW: it’s… beautiful.  
DS: she  
TW: you can tell?  
DS: i dont know how but i just do  
DS: misty shes looking at me  
DS: this is scarier than when it was entei

* * *

CS: Father, I have just made a colossal mistake.

* * *

TW: what… do you think she wants?

* * *

CS: I was stopping to drink, I swear I didn’t know they were camping there.  
CS: I thought they’d all be asleep anyway.  
TM: You should be more observant.  
CS: Maybe if I just walk away like I meant to do it, she’ll think it was a dream.

* * *

DS: now shes just  
DS: leaving  
DS: shes so graceful

* * *

TM: Did she have her phone out?  
CS: Yes?  
TM: Then she’s already taken a picture of you.  
CS: *SHIT*.

* * *

DS: shes gone  
TW: we’re very lucky, Verity.  
TW: not many people can say they’ve seen Suicune.  
DS: i saw entei before  
TW: you did, didn’t you?  
TW: then you’re extremely lucky.  
TW: I didn’t think I’d ever see a legendary Pokémon in my entire life.  
TW: you’ve seen two.  
DS: ash saw ho-oh too  
TW: he did, didn’t he…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ash vs Gary match 1: tie.
> 
> I've attempted to find a more balanced take on Gary for this story (and for the rationalization). He's closer to his Japanese characterization, which makes him more of an honourable rival, but still keeping elements of his dub jerkiness. He's mean to Ash because an angry Ash is more determined to beat him and therefore the fight will be tougher. It's just as Reshiram says - they're true rivals. Plus, it'd look bad for Gary if Ash just forfeited. All of his Pokémon are pre-evolved forms of ones he's seen with later in canon. (Fearow, Nidoqueen, Arcanine, Golem, Blastoise and Nidoking.)
> 
> Otherwise, we've got a big battle, lots of commentary, a couple new characters. Ho-oh suffers some consequences, Suicune is victim of another one of Ash's Pokémon missing, and Lugia finally shows up. Deoxys plays the part of that one guy with the bad connection who just ends up spamming with leave/join messages. And there's that Suicune scene from I Choose You, which is much less impressive when you can read her swearing about it. I Hope people are okay with my take on Misty here. For the moment at least most of her logs are in private and to people other than Ash, who's the main target of most of her ire.
> 
> After having said that I've got too many long episodes in a row in the note at the end of the last chapter, I've done a little moving around so now episode 19 is filler, rather than what it originally was (which is Electric Shock Showdown, which is now episode 20).


	22. Episode 19 (The Case of the K-9 Caper)

TM: …  
TM: …  
TM: …Mew.  
DD: yes boss.  
TM: Are those gadgets…  
DD: they’re loudhailers ho-oh they’re not new.  
TM: Nevertheless, are they… normal?  
TM: Because I’ve never seen any such device that could cause Pokémon to not recognize their partners by simply interfering with speech and smell alone.  
DD: beats me, i was planning on giving most of them to giratina.  
TM: Only most of them?  
DD: c’mon ho-oh i’ve gotta keep one for myself!  
DD: i’m a godcat, remember?  
DD: i exist to eat, sleep, play with toys, and own absolutely everything and everyone.  
DD: and probably throw up on somebody’s furniture at some point.  
TM: Well, if anybody could figure out how they work, it’d be Giratina.  
TM: If Team Rocket have more of them, that could be troubling.  
TM: Plus, they were willing to attack a police training academy so directly…  
TM: Tell me, had you heard of Team Rocket prior to Ash encountering them?  
DD: eh, not really?  
DD: it’s not like i was really interested in humans before the whole ash thing kicked off.  
DD: i’ve got an image to maintain.  
TM: The one where your entire species is extinct?  
DD: that’s the one!  
DD: the name’s kinda appropriate though given how they always leave the scene.  
TM: Somehow I think that’s not what they had in mind when they took that name.  
TM: …  
TM: …Mew.  
DD: yes boss.  
TM: I don’t suppose those things translate, too.  
DD: yeah it’d be pretty neat if they did!  
DD: but they don’t.  
DD: i tried setting it to ash’s voice and got some rando rattata to say a few words but i’m pretty sure it just came out as ‘rattata’ in ash’s voice.  
DD: which was just stupid.  
TM: I didn’t think they would.  
DD: oop here’s the big guy now brb.  
TM: It was lucky they had Sorrel’s Lucario with them, and that he could rely on his partner’s aural signature as identification.  
TM: Otherwise…  
TM: Well, I imagine that one of the other Pokémon would have seen through the ruse eventually.  
TM: Hopefully.  
DD: btw pretty sure sorrel’s lucario’s a girl.  
DD: but yeah lucky.  
TM: …I don’t think I know this about you, actually. Were you to transform into a Lucario yourself, could you read another’s aura?  
DD: dunno, i never checked!  
DD: let’s find out!  
DD: ooh this is weird.  
DD: everything looks normal but there’s a sort of glow around everything.  
DD: …which i guess i don’t know how to read?  
TM: Perhaps you should get some aura training.  
DD: lol no i cba to do that.  
DD: maybe if i’m really really really bored then i  
DD: AUGH  
TM: Mew?  
DD: I’M BLIND  
TM: …You probably shouldn’t look in Ash’s direction either way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in order to pace this out a little bit, I've moved this episode all the way up here from the second half of the season (which had a lot of filler) and made it a Sorrel-focused episode to boot. Not much in terms of the actual story changes, apart from the obvious things that need to be removed because they haven't happened yet - chiefly Team Rocket's Pokémon are still their first forms, Misty doesn't have Togepi, and Jigglypuff doesn't show up. Having this be a Sorrel episode also fits a double purpose, as for a reason I'll discuss in the notes for the next chapter, after the next episode he's temporarily leaving the party, so he has to do *something*. And his Lucario gets a spotlight, which it sorely needs after I Choose You had it standing around basically looking pretty for most of the movie.
> 
> By the way, thanks for 100 Kudos everyone. I really appreciate it.


	23. Episode 20 (Electric Shock Showdown)

[MOD] DD: oh, right.  
[MOD] DD: i completely forgot!  
OG: What now  
[MOD] DD: sorry ash i’m not coming into the city with you.  
UT: why not?  
[MOD] DD: remember when i said i didn’t have any stalkers?  
[MOD] DD: i forgot about this one guy.  
[MOD] DD: he lives in vermilion and he *will* know i’m there.  
[MOD] DD: he’s like a rabid fanboy.  
[MOD] DD: i’ll just catch the battle stream with everybody else.  
UT: hehe maybe we should meet up!  
[MOD] DD: oh trust me he won’t want anything to do with you.  
[MOD] DD: just… don’t.  
[MOD] DD: just go in and do the gym.  
[MOD] DD: i’m gonna go and hide under a truck or something.  
UT: :p

* * *

TT: wth was that  
[MOD] TM: That was a man who has no business being a gym leader.  
[MOD] TM: Or, at the very least, a position of influence over young trainers.  
[MOD] DD: ikr  
[MOD] DD: if i was there i would definitely be punching him  
[MOD] DD: unevolved pokémon so too can be good  
GO: Where did Ash go?  
[MOD] NM: I Didn’t See Which Way He Went .  
[MOD] TM: @sevenStar Marshadow? Where is Ash right now?  
sevenStar [SS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
SS: busy  
[MOD] TM: I didn’t ask if he was busy, I asked where he was.  
SS: learning a lesson  
[MOD] TM: …Marshadow, what are you doing?

* * *

nightmareUnleaded [NU] began pestering sevenStar [SS].

NU: WHAT.  
NU: THE EVERLOVING.  
NU: *****FUCK*****  
NU: ARE YOU DOING.  
SS: this is none of your business darkrai  
NU: LIKE FUCK IT’S NOT.  
NU: I CAN FEEL THAT NIGHTMARE FROM ALL THE WAY OVER HERE.  
SS: he doubted  
SS: i am performing my duty  
NU: YOUR ***DUTY***.  
NU: SINCE WHEN DID YOUR FUCKING DUTY INVOLVE DROPPING ANYBODY INTO A NIGHTMARE.  
NU: I’M TAKING OVER AND I’M KICKING HIM UP.  
SS: no youre not  
SS: dont interfere  
SS: what are you even doing here  
SS: stop!  
NU: ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU’RE DOING.  
SS: im doing what needs to be done  
NU: MARSHADOW.  
NU: ****LOOK AT HIM****.  
SS: what  
SS:  
SS:  
SS: what is that  
NU: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS, DO YOU.  
NU: FUCKING HO-OH.  
NU: THAT IS ASH KETCHUM CLAWING HIS WAY OUT BY HIMSELF.  
SS: not possible  
NU: **VERY** POSSIBLE.  
NU: BECAUSE YOU DON’T PAY ATTENTION.  
NU: MOVE ASIDE. I’M KICKING HIM.

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: thanks guys.  
[MOD] TM: Ash, I want to apologize. I failed to warn you of how sensitive the Rainbow Wing is, and Marshadow greatly overstepped his bounds.  
UT: what… actually happened?  
UT: i remember feeling woozy after surge beat me, and getting angry, and…  
UT: next thing i know i’m waking up in the woods at the edge of the city with pikachu, brock and sorrel.  
UT: and it was a big relief to see pikachu.  
[MOD] TM: The Rainbow Wing is… it’s only a feather, so it’s not intelligent per se, but it responds to your emotions, and your heightened emotional state after being defeated by Lieutenant Surge pushed it over the edge.  
[MOD] TM: If that happens, Marshadow is supposed to purify the feather, and to purge you of any darkness it may have begun infecting you with.  
[MOD] TM: Instead, he decided he was within his rights to ‘punish’ you for allowing that to happen, and dropped you into a nightmare instead.  
[MOD] DD: yeah, and darkrai had to be your knight in shining armor.  
NU: HMPH.  
NU: DON’T THINK I’M GOING TO HELP YOU OUT EVERY TIME THIS HAPPENS.  
UT: the rainbow wing looks fine now though?  
[MOD] TM: Marshadow has purged the darkness. It should not happen again.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: *AHEM*.  
SS:  
SS: sorry  
UT: well  
UT: apology accepted.  
UT: and thanks darkrai.  
NU: I’M NEVER GOING TO HEAR THE END OF THIS.  
nightmareUnleaded [NU] fled the memo.  
UT: so… the thunderstone?  
UT: brock and sorrel said they saw raikou?  
UT: he’s actually here?  
[MOD] DD: no, that was me pretending to be him.  
[MOD] DD: i would’ve just run in to help but your human friends and pikachu got there first and i panicked.  
UT: …so you want me to evolve pikachu.  
[MOD] DD: no.  
[MOD] DD: i want you to have a *choice*.  
[MOD] DD: or actually i want pikachu to have the choice but you know what i mean.  
[MOD] TM: Mew, are you sure about this?  
[MOD] DD: no!  
[MOD] DD: and i cleared it with arceus first, that’s how unsure i am!  
[MOD] DD: i’m dead set against it!  
[MOD] DD: but if you and pikachu both feel that his becoming a raichu is the only way to show surge up, then fine, i understand.  
UT: …  
GO: I hope he doesn’t do it.  
GO: I’m not normally a vindictive Pokémon, but I want to see Ash wiping that smug look off that leader’s face without stooping to his level.  
UT: it’s decided!  
UT: pikachu wants to do this the hard way, and so do i!  
[MOD] DD: WHOO  
GO: Huzzah!  
UT: now the only question is how.  
UT: there’s gotta be some way to beat him, right?  
UT: i want to use pikachu to do it, you're right, i want to show him he's wrong…  
UT: …  
UT: hold on.  
UT: the details are fuzzy, but…  
UT: shaymin?  
GO: Yeah?  
UT: did surge say he evolved his raichu as soon as he could?  
GO: Yes.  
[MOD] DD: that bastard.  
[MOD] TM: Language.  
UT: mew, i know you can learn every move anyway, but are there some moves a pokémon actually can’t learn if they evolve early?  
[MOD] DD:  
[MOD] DD: YES  
[MOD] DD: omfg ash that’s genius  
[MOD] TM: Language!  
UT: i’m looking it up in the pokédex…  
UT: thank you bill and your preloaded data!  
GO: Ash, I changed my mind.  
GO: Obliterate him! :D

* * *

TM: You see?  
SS: …  
TM: It was a brief moment of weakness. Nothing more.  
TM: You should count yourself *very* lucky that I don’t withdraw you from duty completely.  
TM: You will see Ash to the mountain. But consult me *before* taking any further action in the future.

* * *

TT: it took a while but we got there  
GO: We?  
[MOD] TM: How did Ash explain how he came up with his plan?  
[MOD] DD: apparently brock turned up and suggested it independently.  
[MOD] DD: which you know fair dos.  
US: that was a shocking outcome  
decibelDrama [DD] kicked unabatedStimulus [US] from the memo. (Reason: you already did that one)  
CM: MY POINT STANDS.  
CM: THAT IS NOT AN ORDINARY PIKACHU.  
TT: i think we already worked that one out thanks zek  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: thunder badge get!  
[BOT] PB: da-da-da-do!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] TM: Things could, on the whole, have been a lot worse.  
[MOD] TM: I’m glad things worked out.  
MU: Can I just ask, what was stopping Ash from heading to another gym first and then coming back to this one later?  
GO: Stubbornness.  
MU: Ah.  
[MOD] TM: Mew, I left early last night. What did Ash do with the Thunderstone?  
[MOD] DD: it’s in a pouch at the bottom of his bag where pikachu can’t accidentally touch it.  
[MOD] DD: he said he’s going to try and find a use for it at some point.  
[MOD] DD: but if he doesn’t i’m taking it back ‘cause i’m sure somebody *will* want to use it.  
[MOD] TM: Fair enough.  
[MOD] DD: this calls for a celebration.  
[MOD] DD: i’m nipping back to amaranth. who wants stuff from the bakery?  
crystallineSlush [CS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
blazingGlory [BG] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
CS: Me.  
BG: Me  
[MOD] DD: i mean apart from you two  
boltfromTheblue [BT] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
BT: ill take five pb rolls and i wont sue you for plagiarism  
boltfromTheblue [BT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] DD: okay, who told him about that?

* * *

twiceMulticolored [TM] began pestering theOne [TO].

TM: Arceus, I have a confession to make.  
TO: Go on.  
TM: I was… less than careful with what I said when one of Ash’s friends messaged me last week.  
TM: As a result, one of the friends he made that day, Sorrel - who is studying to be a Pokémon professor, and is researching us - contacted me to ascertain the limits of my knowledge about…  
TM: Well, myself and my children.  
TM: Obviously I didn’t tell him who I was, and I hope my responses seemed legitimate.  
TM: But I dropped hints that I’d learned some of what I knew in the library in Vermilion City, and had Celebi plant a book containing my legends there.  
TM: I implied that more information about the Rainbow Hero could be found.  
TM: Previously, I inspired Misty to give Ash a worthy battle in her gym, but in this instance I directly set up information in the knowledge that it would influence Ash’s journey.  
TM: I beg your forgiveness.  
TO: Ho-oh, there is nothing you need apologize for.  
TO: For better or for worse, we have already changed the face of Ash’s journey.  
TO: And while, yes, it would be ideal if our further influence could be kept to a minimum, we can’t always get what we want.  
TO: Ash doesn’t rely on our help. He values our input, but ultimate control of the direction of his journey is still down to him, which was my entire goal in the first place.  
TO: If we were using him as an extension of ourselves, directing each and every step, then I would be justified in intervening.  
TO: Today, for example. The Thunderstone Ash was provided with by Mew.  
TO: She consulted me, and I agreed.  
TO: Mew gave him the stone, but never told him he should use it.  
TO: She provided choice.  
TO: You, as well, are providing choice.  
TO: There is nothing forcing Ash to follow the path of the Rainbow Hero except his own willpower.  
TO: As I understand it, there have been some that you chose who were unable to continue, and did so without consequence.  
TM: Yes, that’s correct.  
TO: If Ash follows that path, that is his choice.  
TO: If Misty wished to accept your advice, that was her choice.  
TO: If Sorrel wishes to seek out your knowledge, that is his choice.  
TO: The only ‘wrong decision’ is to put the answers in front of their faces.  
TO: You are a good friend of mine, Ho-oh. I trust you to make the right decision for yourself.  
TM: …Thank you, Arceus.  
TO: Was Sorrel able to find the book, by the way?  
TM: It was a strange thing, actually.  
TM: Celebi planted the book successfully, and Sorrel found it.  
TM: However, the crucial page regarding the Storms End Throne on Mt. Tensei had been ripped out.  
TM: It is searching for this lost information that has led Sorrel to temporarily part ways with Ash.  
TO: Hm.  
TO: I assume you questioned Celebi on the matter.  
TM: Naturally.  
TM: She was ignorant of the missing page, but wouldn’t put it past her future self to have acted on further instructions to remove the page before she got there.  
TO: I will consult with Dialga, and ask him to let you know if he discovers anything.  
TM: Thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less focus on the gym battle, since Surge is still Surge, and more of everything else. The Marshadow scene from I Choose You gets moved way up here, since later on Ash’s positive attitude is going to stop that sort of thing from happening. We get a mention of Goh, who won’t be joining the party now. Arceus is a Responsible Creator. And a few further points of order:
> 
> 1: As mentioned in the notes to the previous episode, Sorrel is now temporarily leaving the party. This isn’t any fault with Sorrel, it’s more to do with his Lucario, who’d be able to instantly negate any Team Rocket disguise hi-jinks - and the one coming up next is one that absolutely needs to go off properly. It’s also to do with the fact that, having now burned through most of the I Choose You content, there’s only one more event before the mountain itself, the second match with Cross. Ash needs Charmeleon for that, and that’s still another 30ish episodes away. Verity gets a pass for the moment.
> 
> 2: I want to see what I can do with Ash’s Thunder Stone. In canon, after he didn’t do anything with it in this episode it never went mentioned for years all the way into Sinnoh, for another episode in which Ash considered and rejected evolving Pikachu, at which point Team Rocket stole it to sell. I don’t plan on evolving Pikachu, and though I’ve not decided in which way Eevee will evolve (if ever) I don’t think it’ll end up being Jolteon. Aside from those two, there are three other Thunder Stone evolutions - Eelektrik to Eelektross, and as of Gen VIII, Magneton to Magnezone and Charjabug to Vikavolt. We’ll have to see what happens later. (Then, if nothing happens, Mew’s just going to take it back, simple.)
> 
> 3: As a result of the nightmare event, Pikachu’s Goodbye just got butterflied out of existence. Whoops.


	24. Episode 21 (Battle Aboard the St. Anne)

CS: Something that’s just occured to me to ask: How far away is Kyogre right now?   
[MOD] SC: Far enough.   
CS: I’m just remembering the last time she encountered a cruise ship.   
[MOD] SC: Suicune, I am 100% positive that Kyogre is not going to cause any problems.   
[MOD] SC: As of this moment she is very unconscious.   
[MOD] NM: Oh ?   
[MOD] NM: Dragon Ascent Again ?   
[MOD] SC: No, it seemed she attempted to anticipate me.   
[MOD] SC: As did Groudon.   
[MOD] SC: They therefore failed to anticipate each other at about thirty miles an hour.   
[MOD] DD: yikes   
[MOD] DD: that’s gotta hurt!   
[MOD] NM: Let Me Know If Any Symptoms Of Amnesia Begin To Show .   
[MOD] SC: Frankly we could do with both of them forgetting about their conflict entirely but okay.   
GO: This is nice.   
GO: It’s been far too long since I had a decent picnic.   
[MOD] DD: well, i figured y’know since ash and co got a cruise and stuff, let them have a little vacation and we can get a break too.   
[MOD] SC: I’d complain that seven legendaries in the same place would draw attention, but you’ve got the Guardians there, so I can’t.   
CS: Eight.   
CS: He may not be participating in the conversation, but I know Raikou is skulking around.   
[MOD] DD: he’d better be inside the zoroark illusion i’m putting up to make us invisible.   
[MOD] DD: if he’s not i’m just going to laugh at him when he gets attacked.   
[MOD] CW: …   
[MOD] CW: does (anyone) get the feeling that we’re missing something (important)   
[MOD] NM: You’re Overthinking Things , Azelf .   
[MOD] NM: Relax .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, absolutely nothing else is going on, you're not missing anything.


	25. Episode 23 (Island of the Giant Pokémon)

[MOD] SC: …  
[MOD] SC: And when were you planning on telling us that the ship sank while we weren’t paying attention?  
SS: ho-oh told me not to do anything without consulting him first  
[MOD] SC: Marshadow. Marshadow, Marshadow. You’re not new to this.  
[MOD] SC: You have no excuse for being maliciously compliant.  
[MOD] SC: If something happens, you *tell* somebody.  
[MOD] SC: You don’t need to *do* anything.  
[MOD] SC: Where are they now?  
SS: some island  
SS: phones broken  
[MOD] DD: there’s not that many islands in the vermilion bay, can’t be that hard to  
[MOD] DD: i see them!  
[MOD] DD: this is that stupid robot island, great.  
[MOD] DD: and…  
[MOD] DD: fuck, some of their pokémon are missing.  
[MOD] DD: i’ll go find em  
decibelDrama [DD] fled the memo.  
[MOD] SC: Mew, wait!

* * *

PIKACHU: I don’t see Ash and those guys anywhere…   
EEVEE: They can’t be too far, right?   
SQUIRTLE: Maybe they all got eaten by wild Pokémon   
PIKACHU: Don’t say things like that!   
PIPLUP: verity’s too awesome to get eaten. the end.   
BULBASAUR: But not too awesome to lose you, huh?   
PIPLUP: shut up!   
BULBASAUR: I knew this would happen. They just forgot about us.   
PIPLUP: shut up!!!!   
BULBASAUR: Humans are all the same.   
PIKACHU: No! Ash wouldn’t do that! Huh?   
EEVEE: Uh, Charmander? You okay?   
SQUIRTLE: Earth to Charmander   
CHARMANDER: i   
CHARMANDER: i cant   
PIKACHU: Charmander?   
CHARMANDER: i cant do this again   
EEVEE: Charmander, snap out of it!   
PIKACHU: Eevee, stop, that’s not helping!   
PIKACHU: Bulbasaur!   
BULBASAUR: What.   
PIKACHU: You *know* what.   
PIKACHU: You *know* Charmander’s sensitive about that.   
PIPLUP: yeah bulbasaur that was mean!   
BULBASAUR: Hmph.   
SQUIRTLE: Hey guys chill   
SQUIRTLE: You’re supposed to go somewhere high when you’re lost   
SQUIRTLE: Couldn’t you climb a tree or something Pikachu   
PIKACHU: Okay, fine.   
PIKACHU: You all stay put.   
EEVEE: Seriously Charmander, stay with us!   
CHARMANDER: ok   
PIPLUP: you think he’ll see anything?   
SQUIRTLE: Well   
SQUIRTLE: If he doesn’t spot Ash he’ll spot somewhere higher   
SQUIRTLE: Then we keep going higher until we see him   
BULBASAUR: I don’t think that’s how it works.   
???: oh, bugger!   
PIKACHU: Agh!   
BULBASAUR: Who was that?!   
SQUIRTLE: That’s   
SQUIRTLE: Uh   
PIKACHU: Owwww…   
PIPLUP: guys   
PIPLUP: guysguysguys   
PIPLUP: omg guys that’s mew   
EEVEE: Who?   
SQUIRTLE: Who   
PIKACHU: You!   
MEW: me!   
MEW: wait what   
PIPLUP: wait pikachu you saw her before???   
PIKACHU: Yeah!   
PIKACHU: Years ago, when I was a Pichu!   
MEW: grats, i guess?   
EEVEE: Wait so who exactly is this?   
PIPLUP: it’s *mew*!   
PIPLUP: guys we’re talking to a legendary!   
BULBASAUR: *What.*   
MEW: yep, that’s me!   
MEW: wow, don’t get too excited, geez.   
PIKACHU: But…   
PIKACHU: Why are you here?   
MEW: am i not allowed to be?   
PIKACHU: I mean…   
SQUIRTLE: Hey since you’re here   
SQUIRTLE: Have you seen a group of four humans   
SQUIRTLE: Two guys and two girls   
PIPLUP: you can’t just ask favors from a legendary squirtle!!!   
SQUIRTLE: I just did   
MEW: well…   
MEW: i dunno if you know where you are, but there are kind of a bunch of humans on this island.   
MEW: they call it an ‘adventure park’.   
MEW: probably ‘cause you’re adventuring to see how much money comes flying out of your wallet.   
PIKACHU: Uh…   
PIKACHU: Oh. One looks like *this*, one like *this*…   
EEVEE: That’s really uncanny.   
PIKACHU: One looks like *this*…   
PIPLUP: and the fourth one’s more awesome than all the others!   
MEW: do that third one again?   
MEW: oh! the guy with no eyes!   
BULBASAUR: Brock has eyes.   
SQUIRTLE: Have you ever seen them   
BULBASAUR: …touché.   
MEW: yeah, i saw those guys!   
BULBASAUR: …you did?   
MEW: yeah!   
MEW: i think i last saw them over that way!   
PIKACHU: Could you take us there?   
MEW: sure!   
MEW: in return though i gotta ask for a favor of my own.   
PIPLUP: omg   
MEW: if i take you to your humans, i need you to promise to never tell anyone that you saw me here.   
MEW: srsly.   
MEW: the last thing i need is everybody thinking i live here.   
MEW: i don’t, and it’d be pretty funny if everybody wasted all their time looking for me here, but just don’t.   
MEW: deal?   
CHARMANDER: deal   
MEW: great!   
PIKACHU: Yeah, I think we can do that.   
PIKACHU: Bulbasaur.   
BULBASAUR: Yeah, whatever.   
MEW: we’ll have you back with your humans in no time!   
MEW: oh, one more thing before we go.   
PIKACHU: What?   
MEW: i mentioned that this is an adventure park?   
MEW: for whatever reason that means humans think it has to be full of giant robots.   
MEW: so if you see a giant pokémon, don’t try to talk to it.   
MEW: ‘cause it’s a robot.   
EEVEE: Cool!   
SQUIRTLE: Cool   
MEW: now come on! hurry up! i’ve been standing still for far too long!   
BULBASAUR: You’re not touching the ground.   
MEW: floating then, pedant!

* * *

decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave decibelDrama [DD] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] DD: sitrep: stragglers picked up, omw to ash.  
[MOD] SC: *sigh*  
[MOD] DD: they still on the beach marsh?  
SS: no  
[MOD] DD: crap.  
[MOD] DD: where are they?  
SS: lost  
[MOD] DD: ffs ash ketchum!

* * *

MEW: this is definitely where i saw them last.   
EEVEE: They *were* here, and it wasn’t too long ago.   
EEVEE: I can smell them!   
MEW: anyone know where they might go?   
PIKACHU: They’d look for us.   
PIKACHU: Ash!   
PIKACHU: Ash, we’re here!   
CHARMANDER: ash   
CHARMANDER: please   
MEW: hm.   
PIPLUP: hey um you can do lots of moves right?   
MEW: sure can!   
PIPLUP: can’t you do something to help them find us?   
MEW: hmmmmmm.   
MEW: hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.   
MEW: now y’see here’s the thing.   
MEW: yeah, i probably could.   
MEW: but there’s no guarantee they’d see it.   
MEW: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.   
PIKACHU: Can you stop doing that?!   
CHARMANDER: um   
CHARMANDER: guys   
MEW: okay so obviously i can’t show myself in front of your humans so i can’t just teleport you to them.   
MEW: even if i knew where they were.   
PIKACHU: Knowing Ash, he’s probably lost by now.   
EEVEE: Is he really that bad?   
PIKACHU: You weren’t with us in Viridian Forest.   
PIKACHU: Yeah, he is.   
CHARMANDER: guys   
MEW: i could try transforming into a luxray…   
BULBASAUR: Is that a thing you can do?   
MEW: yeah!   
MEW: see?   
PIPLUP: wow!   
PIKACHU: But how does that help?   
MEW: luxray have x-ray vision, duh.   
MEW: problem is you’d have to keep me topped up with power otherwise i’ll just run out and fall asleep.   
PIKACHU: So it doesn’t help.   
CHARMANDER: guys   
MEW: we should probably move anyway, if they’re looking for you too then they’re not gonna stop.   
PIPLUP:   
PIPLUP: um   
PIKACHU: Okay, fine, that’s a good point.   
PIKACHU: What is it, Piplup?   
PIKACHU:   
BULBASAUR:   
EEVEE:   
MEW:   
MEW: okay what the fuck   
MEW: how long has the robot blastoise been there?   
CHARMANDER: a few minutes   
PIKACHU: And where did Squirtle go?!   
CHARMANDER: guess   
MEW: …   
MEW: i like this squirtle.   
EEVEE: Ooh!   
EEVEE: Is this going to be a transforming mecha or something like in Bill’s videos?!   
BULBASAUR: Oh no.   
SQUIRTLE: Oh YES

* * *

[MOD] DD: sitrep: hunting down ash at the controls of a robot blastoise and having a ton of fun.   
[MOD] SC: …   
[MOD] SC: So this is it.   
[MOD] SC: You’ve finally decided to abandon subtlety altogether.   
[MOD] DD: just to make it clear, this 100% wasn’t my idea.   
[MOD] DD: squirtle started it when we weren’t looking and that got eevee going.   
[MOD] DD: plus we’re on an island populated with giant robot pokémon anyway.   
[MOD] DD: how’s ash doing marsh?   
SS: attempting to converse with giant pokémon   
SS: failing   
[MOD] DD: aw shit, knew there was something i’d forgotten.   
[MOD] DD: hey ping me if you see a big blastoise.

* * *

PIPLUP: if this thing’s a robot why does it have controls inside?   
SQUIRTLE: Don’t look a gift Ponyta in the mouth   
SQUIRTLE: Ok cool so that controls the Hydro Pump   
PIKACHU: More to the point, why are the controls Pokémon-sized?!   
SQUIRTLE: Maybe they meant for Pokémon to drive them   
SQUIRTLE: Eevee what did that button do   
EEVEE: Windscreen wipers!   
SQUIRTLE: Gotcha   
BULBASAUR: I hate this.   
EEVEE: Still looking for the button that makes it transform!   
PIKACHU: Does it need to have one?!   
EEVEE: Of course it does!   
MEW: did you try that one?   
EEVEE: Nope!   
PIKACHU: AUGH   
BULBASAUR: AUGH   
MEW: okay!   
MEW: that one makes it roar! good to know!   
SQUIRTLE: Giant Snorlax at 11 o’clock   
EEVEE: Where?   
SQUIRTLE: There   
EEVEE: Oh, there.   
PIPLUP: when do i get a go???   
MEW: you know, you guys are a blast!   
MEW: it’ll be a shame to leave you!   
BULBASAUR: Feeling’s… augh… not mutual.   
MEW: love you too, bulbasaur!   
MEW: hey, pikachu!   
PIKACHU: What?!   
MEW: hug charmander for me!   
PIKACHU: Wh— why?!   
MEW: because it looks like he needs one and i can’t reach him!

* * *

SS: they have boarded a cart   
SS: i dont like this   
[MOD] DD: fuck me, that’s the rollercoaster.   
[MOD] DD: okay, i know where that is…

* * *

MEW: over there!   
EEVEE: There’s a trail of destruction!   
EEVEE: Sounds like Ash!   
SQUIRTLE: Forward throttle to full   
BULBASAUR: Squirtle?   
SQUIRTLE: Yeah buddy   
BULBASAUR: First, I’m not your ‘buddy’.   
BULBASAUR: Second, what exactly are you planning on doing when we catch up?   
SQUIRTLE: I dunno   
SQUIRTLE: I’ll improvise   
PIPLUP: we’re coming, verity!!!!!!   
MEW: watch out!   
SQUIRTLE: Chill   
SQUIRTLE: We got this   
PIKACHU: I’ve got a bad feeling about this.   
PIKACHU: Charmander, don’t let go.   
CHARMANDER: i wont   
EEVEE: Where is that transformation button?!   
EEVEE: Come on, I know you’ve got one!   
PIKACHU: Don’t just go pressing random buttons!   
EEVEE: They’re not random!   
EEVEE: They’re all the ones I haven’t pressed yet!   
BULBASAUR: We’re doomed.   
MEW: quit being such a sourpuss, Bulbasaur!   
MEW: i know you’re having fun!   
BULBASAUR: We were doing fine until you came along!   
MEW: would you rather be lost in the forest still?   
BULBASAUR: Yes!   
MEW: no you wouldn’t!   
PIPLUP: eevee what about that button that has the label ‘change’ above it?   
EEVEE: You can read?!   
EEVEE: I haven’t pressed that one yet! Here goes!   
SQUIRTLE: K   
SQUIRTLE: I think you just drained the water tank   
PIPLUP: oh it says ‘change water’.   
SQUIRTLE: So much for Plans A B and C   
BULBASAUR: Oh great.   
PIKACHU: Mew, can’t you do anything?!   
MEW: i’m trying to be stealthy, remember?!   
PIKACHU: You call this stealthy?!   
MEW: i call this having fun!   
MEW: you’re the one who just escaped from a sinking ship, lighten up!   
PIKACHU: Don’t tell me to lighten up!   
MEW: well fuck you then!   
PIKACHU: You don’t have to swear at me!   
CHARMANDER: can you stop screaming in my ear please   
PIKACHU: Sorry Charmander!   
PIKACHU:   
PIKACHU:   
PIKACHU: ?   
CHARMANDER: ?   
BULBASAUR: ?   
PIPLUP: ???   
PIKACHU: How did you know that we just got out of a sinking ship?   
MEW: oh shit.   
SQUIRTLE: Okay shut up and buckle up here they come   
SQUIRTLE: Time for Plan E   
BULBASAUR: What happened to Plan D?!   
SQUIRTLE: It wasn’t flashy enough   
EEVEE: I only have one last button to press!   
SQUIRTLE: Then hurry up and press it   
PIPLUP: is it that one that says ‘e—   
PIKACHU: AUGH   
SQUIRTLE: AUGH   
CHARMANDER: augh   
BULBASAUR: AUGH   
MEW: wheeeeeee   
EEVEE: …It said ‘eject’, didn’t it?   
PIPLUP: it kinda did!!!   
EEVEE: Nuts.

* * *

[MOD] DD: sitrep: adventure over, fun was had, everybody’s back together, and we successfully trashed the island.  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[MOD] DD: oh hi dialga!  
[MOD] DD: just so you know, i don’t regret a damn thing.  
[MOD] DD: that’s the most fun i’ve had in *years*!  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[ADMIN] DW: One question, Mew.  
[ADMIN] DW: What happened to subtlety?  
[MOD] DD: hey, i covered my bases.  
[MOD] DD: no humans ever knew i was there.  
[MOD] SC: I think he’s more concerned about the property damage.  
[MOD] DD: we only wrecked the blastoise.  
[MOD] DD: ash did everything else.  
[MOD] DD: right, marsh?  
SS: yes  
[MOD] DD: so you see, you can’t blame me for all of this.  
current outtaTime [COT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All] RIGHT NOW.  
COT: just so you know, the boss just let out the biggest sigh i’ve ever heard.  
COT: even *i’ve* never been able to make him do that!  
[MOD] DD: don’t like it, change it then.  
[MOD] DD: spoilsport.  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[ADMIN] DW: It says a lot that the version of events in this timeline is the best one available.  
[ADMIN] DW: I can trace so many dead timelines to this day it’s not even funny.  
[MOD] DD: well, just goes to show that not only *can* we join in, we totally *should*.  
[ADMIN] DW: I wouldn’t go that far.  
[MOD] DD: but i will ;3  
decibelDrama [DD] fled the memo.

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] began pestering mythicWisteria [MW].

UT: sorrel, you know you said you were gonna miss out on stuff once you left?   
MW: Yes…?   
UT: we went on a cruise, escaped from a sunken ship, and had an adventure on an island with giant robot pokémon.   
UT: it’s been 48 hours.   
UT: your turn!   
MW:   
MW:   
MW: How.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turning what was otherwise a forgettable filler episode into something much more interesting. I had fun with this one. (At Team Rocket’s expense, since they’re nowhere to be seen.) We get a look at Ash’s Pokémon and the way they’re behaving early on, before character development has had a chance to properly kick in. Pikachu is desperately trying to maintain his sanity and hasn’t picked up too much of the craziness imprint from Ash yet. Bulbasaur is pessimistic and wants off this ride. Eevee reminds everyone that he grew up with a computer/anime nerd (and come on, why *wouldn’t* an Eevee be a fan of transforming mecha shows). Squirtle is the organized sort of nuts that you have to be to lead a team of turtle firefighters. Piplup’s just here to assist. And… Charmander.
> 
> The guest M commented a couple of chapters ago wondering which direction I’d be going in with Charmander, because the two instances of his character go in completely different directions. Anime!Charmander became unruly after evolving, and only starts behaving himself in the middle of the Orange Islands. I Choose You!Charmander is more consistent and stays obedient. COAL!Charmander, at least at this point, is more realistic. He was abandoned, kicked, and nearly died. Unless you’re a psychopath - which he’s not - you’re not walking away from that without issues. Ash is his lifeline here. This is his starting point, and I hope where his character develops in the coming chapters sounds plausible.
> 
> Also you may note that this episode finished off with the conversation from the summary. We’ve officially reached the point where I’ve posted every episode (plus some) that I had in backlog when I began publishing the story. This isn’t the end of daily posting - I’ve still got some more episodes in the pipeline, the writing progress is currently eight chapters (which includes a little timeskip) ahead, just after Sabrina’s second gym battle.


	26. Episode 24 (Vacation at Acapulco)

decibelDrama [DD] muted all non-moderators.  
decibelDrama [DD] unmuted ultimateTrainer [UT].  
[MOD] DD: k ash go for it.  
UT: okay uh  
UT: so that cruise we got?  
UT: it was a team rocket scam.  
[MOD] CW: hmmm  
[MOD] CW: that is a (step up) from their usual (appearances)  
UT: i mean jessie and james were there but it was the rest of team rocket, it wasn’t just them.  
UT: like that guy from the bridge in cerulean.  
UT: but first there were lots of trainers there, i had a few battles.  
UT: there was one guy with a black raticate?  
[MOD] BB: Those come from Alola.  
UT: oh right!  
UT: i think i remember the birds telling me about that!  
UT: anyway i was about to beat him with butterfree, only he withdrew just when i was about to win and called it a tie.  
UT: we weren’t happy about that.  
UT: i know what a tie’s supposed to be like.  
UT: the guy even had the nerve to ask me to trade my butterfree for his raticate afterwards.  
[MOD] DD: sounds like a grade-a prick!  
[MOD] DD: tell me you didn’t go through with it.  
[MOD] DD: much as i don’t like your butterfree that’s just wrong.  
UT: i didn’t!  
UT: i, um  
UT: i may have said a rude word at him.  
[MOD] BB: Ash!  
UT: i know!  
UT: misty slapped me afterwards!  
UT: she agreed with me turning him down, the others did too, but she made me apologize for swearing.  
[MOD] BB: Quite right.  
UT: anyway a little bit after that team rocket attacked and tried to capture everyone’s pokémon.  
UT: i don’t think they were counting on having two gym leaders in there though.  
UT: everybody got organized and beat them back.  
UT: but i guess the captain wasn’t paying attention to what the ship was doing because either we hit something or there was a storm or something.  
UT: and the ship sank.  
UT: in the panic verity dropped piplup’s pokéball, and  
UT: uh  
UT: next thing i remember after that is waking up and the ship was underwater and upside down.  
[MOD] BB: Capsized.  
UT: that’s the word.  
UT: we didn’t have anything more serious than bruises, and we were actually able to get out okay.  
offensiveGlaceon [OG] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: we had enough water pokémon with us.  
UT: then team rocket - it was just jessie and james this time - upset a gyarados or something and then suddenly there were a bunch of them and we got blown away by…  
UT: i think misty said it was dragon rage.  
[MOD] DD: ooh yeah you don’t wanna get caught in a gyarados hate spiral.  
UT: then there was the whole island thing you already know about.  
UT: and then today!  
UT: you can probably unmute everyone else now.  
beastieBirb [BB] unmuted all users.  
US: friggin finally  
US: dammit ash next time you have a poseidon adventure i want in  
[MOD] CW: you seem to encounter (something) happening every (day)  
[MOD] CW: its (strange)  
OG: Don’t blame us  
OG: It’s not like we told him to do unusual stuff every day  
UT: i think i’m just not allowed to get a break.  
UT: surely pokémon trainers *can* take breaks, right?  
[MOD] BB: I’m sure they do.  
[MOD] BB: Training non-stop, obsessively, I’m sure that leads to some problem or another.  
TD: I can answer that one.  
TD: It was many years ago, so I forget his name, but I was familiar with a trainer who spent every possible waking moment training for the Sinnoh league.  
TD: To the point where even his dreams were filled with scenes of training his Pokémon so they were the best they could be.  
TD: He wasn’t a slave-driver or anything, he just wouldn’t let up.  
UT: what happened?  
TD: He lost his first matchup.  
US: ouch  
UT: how??  
TD: There was no issue with the quality of his training. His Pokémon were indeed powerful.  
TD: But because he had left no time to relax, when his first match started he was so stressed and exhausted that he made many mistakes.  
TD: I remember having to soothe his nightmare afterwards, it… wasn’t pretty.  
TD: So yes, you should be allowed some time to wind down.  
TD: Just not so much that your training suffers from it.  
UT: team rocket are making it pretty hard though. :/  
GO: I wonder if they’ve landed yet.  
[MOD] CW: i still admire their (tenacity) but not their (stupidity)  
OG: What did I miss  
UT: we took an actual break.  
UT: as opposed to the one we thought we were taking on the ship.  
UT: this is a pretty big resort and misty wanted to spend all day on the beach.  
[MOD] DD: can’t blame her, that’s one nice beach.  
UT: so we let her.  
UT: brock and verity were both sick and tired of the sea at that point and i kinda wanted to get my phone fixed.  
UT: we all met up in some hotel with the professor and gary and…  
UT: my mom was there for some reason.  
UT: and while we were there team rocket picked their moment to try and steal pikachu.  
[MOD] BB: This being a moment when Ash was still accompanied by his closest rival, his benefactor, and a former gym leader.  
[MOD] BB: Not to mention his mother.  
UT: i don’t know who they were more scared of tbh.  
[MOD] BB: …I know who I’d be scared of.  
TD: Hell hath no fury like an angry mother.  
US: can confirm  
US: tourist moms are the worst  
GO: Oh, I’ll confirm too.  
GO: My mom’s terrifying when she’s protecting me.  
GO: Even though I’m the Prime Shaymin and she’s not.  
GO: Actually, dad too.  
GO: Any member of my family.  
GO: You don’t mess with us!  
TD: Suffice to say we can all become a force to be reckoned with when our blood is in danger.  
OG: Too right  
OG: I want to see Lugia explode like that  
beastieBirb [BB] kicked offensiveGlaceon [OG] from the memo. (Reason: Don’t.)  
UT: ?  
[MOD] BB: Nothing you need to worry about, Ash.  
UT: okay then…  
UT: so yeah that’s about it.  
UT: oh yeah!  
UT: professor oak also came up with a good idea.  
UT: i’ve been keeping all my pokémon with me, but they’re probably going to be staying at the lab at some point.  
UT: so we’re gonna start a week exchange thing where one of my pokémon goes to the lab for a week so he can get to know them.  
TD: That’s a good idea.  
UT: so when professor oak and my mom go back home tomorrow bulbasaur’s going with them.  
UT: then probably butterfree after saffron.  
UT: just trying to think ahead because poison’s weak to psychic, right?  
[MOD] BB: Correct.  
UT: and brock worked it out to be about a week between here and there.  
UT: that should be enough time for professor oak to get familiar with him.  
UT: i don’t think pikachu’s gonna go, though.  
[MOD] BB: Would you want him to?  
UT: …no, not really.  
UT: um.  
UT: cresselia, do *i* dream about training all the time?  
TD: I’m afraid I wouldn’t know. I would need to be within reasonable proximity to walk your dreams, and I haven’t left Sinnoh for years.  
US: take an alolan vacation  
US: do it  
UT: pfft  
US: what  
UT: sorry i just got an image of cresselia in an alolan shirt!  
US: rofl  
TD: …  
TD: I’m not sure an Alolan shirt would fit me.  
US: challenge accepted  
US: in fact  
US: imma make it my personal mission to see every one of you guys in an alolan shirt  
offensiveGlaceon [OG] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
OG: Only if you make Lugia’s as loud as possible  
US: done deal  
[MOD] BB: …Koko, I hate to point this out while Ash is in the room, but we don’t normally wear clothes.  
US: so what  
US: no excuse  
US: ive seen reshirams sweaters  
UT: ?  
TD: Reshiram knits.  
UT: uh.  
UT: how?  
[MOD] BB: Ash, sooner or later you’re just going to have to start rolling with these things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recap/Filler. Chronologically this is the first 'banned' episode, mostly for James doing some blatant crossdressing but also for a dirty old man making lewd comments. None of that now happens because, as mentioned, Brock and Verity are sick of the sea at this point and Ash just wants to talk to his friends, so 'Beauty and the Beach'... isn't.
> 
> After this episode there's a little two-episode timeskip. I'm bypassing Episode 25 (Tentacool and Tentacruel) and Episode 26 (The Ghost of Maiden's Peak). They are basically just filler and there's nothing really that I could add to them, plus it's far funnier if the actual reasons *why* are only vaguely mentioned. Ironically, Tentacool and Tentacruel was also banned, *twice*, once because in the wake of 9/11 people were nervous about showing skyscrapers being destroyed, despite a clip of a Tentacruel doing just that REMAINING IN THE OPENING SEQUENCE, and later after Hurricane Katrina because of the flooding.
> 
> All you really need to know is that Misty catches Horsea there.


	27. Episode 27 (The Pokémon Forme Challenge)

DN: Can we take a moment to enjoy just how normal this day has been so far?  
OG: Normal  
OG: What do you mean normal  
DN: I mean compared to the last few days.  
DN: And Ash’s determined attempt to attract all the weirdness in the region to himself.  
CS: He’s got a point.  
CS: There was the thing with the cruise ship and the island.  
CS: Then Team Rocket attacked a room which not only had Ash and Verity and Brock in but also Professor Oak and Gary.  
[MOD] DD: upped their flight mileage by lots.  
CS: Then there was that whole thing with the giant jellyfish.  
[ADMIN] WD: I said I was sorry!  
CS: *Then* there was a Gastly who tried to seduce Brock.  
DN: That’s exactly what I mean.  
DN: Compared to them, Ash is genuinely learning something new today.  
DN: And Brock’s lost none of his touch either.  
OG: TBF we told him about regional forms when he asked about Yan Tyan and Tethera  
DN: Yes, but here he gets to see it firsthand.  
DN: It’s always better for him to have somewhere he can plausibly have learned about these things rather than from us.  
disavowedNegotiation [DN2] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
DN2: My name was mentioned.  
OG: How do you do that  
DN: Oh, Arceus.  
DN: Go away, Tethera.  
DN2: No?  
DN2: It’s a public memo in which you have zero authority.  
DN: Nothing here is of interest to you.  
DN: Therefore, you will inevitably state as such before leaving with a claim that you have better things to do.  
DN2: Oh, you wound me.  
DN2: I’ll just ignore that blatant attack on my character, shall I?  
DN2: You’re not wrong, I can see this is 100% Alola stuff, which doesn’t interest me in the slightest.  
DN2: But I’m afraid that there *is* one thing here that does interest me and will keep me around.  
DN2: You.  
DN2: Thus, I remain.  
DN: I’ve counted at least twenty different occasions in which you specifically stated that I *don’t* interest you.  
CS: @walkaboutDistributor  
DN: If you want to argue with me, then you can do so in DMs.  
DN: I refuse to clutter up this memo with this stupid back-and-forth.  
DN2: Care to unblock me, then?  
DN: Not really, no.  
DN2: And so the cycle begins again.  
[ADMIN] WD: AHEM.  
[ADMIN] WD: That’s enough.  
DN2: Is it though?  
DN2: Nothing’s really enough for him. That’s why he talks and talks and talks.  
DN:  
DN2: Keep watching. He’ll explode any moment now.  
DN:  
[ADMIN] WD: *Tethera.*  
[MOD] DD: fun as this is yeah i gotta say stop.  
[MOD] DD: this is an ash memo, not a forme slapfight memo.  
DN2: I’d like to point out that Moltres attacked me first.  
DN: It’s all about you, isn’t it?  
DN2: Considering that you quite rudely told me to go away, yes, it is.  
DN: Because I knew this was where we were going to end up.  
[ADMIN] WD: Mew, leave this to me.  
[MOD] DD: with pleasure!  
[ADMIN] WD: I apologize, everyone else. You may feel a slight bump.  
dantesNferno [DN] fainted.  
disavowedNegotiation [DN2] fainted.  
[ADMIN] WD: And *that* takes care of *that*.  
OG: What just happened  
[ADMIN] WD: I moved them to the same location so they can fight in person.  
[ADMIN] WD: And so neither of them could say that the other took the first blow, I took an attack of opportunity by ramming their heads together.  
OG: You can teleport  
OG: Since when  
[MOD] DD: art she’s the goddess of space.  
[MOD] DD: she didn’t teleport them!  
[MOD] DD: she just moved the world underneath them!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: you can do that?!  
UT: cool!  
[ADMIN] WD: I’m sorry if you felt a slight bump there, Ash.  
[ADMIN] WD: Moving space isn’t as smooth as you might imagine it is.  
[ADMIN] WD: Plus I have to actually make sure I leave everything exactly the way it was otherwise things break dramatically.  
UT: yeah, i felt it.  
UT: i don’t think the others noticed though ‘cause brock’s geodude is kinda going at it right now.  
[ADMIN] WD: Most people just wouldn’t notice it.  
[ADMIN] WD: You probably only did because I pointed it out.  
[ADMIN] WD: We’re more sensitive in these regards.  
[ADMIN] WD: Especially my prick of a brother, who’s complaining right now that I spilled his drink.  
OG: LOL  
CS: Shouldn’t you be paying more attention?  
UT: i’m paying enough attention!  
OG: Are you though  
UT: sure!  
UT: i’m also making a note to talk to professor oak because the pokédex isn’t picking up these different forms properly.  
CS: Oh, it’s not?  
UT: i’m pointing it at palm’s geodude and it’s just giving me the display i got when i pointed it at brock’s.  
CS: That seems like a major oversight.  
OG: Uh  
OG: Ash  
UT: what?  
CS: Oh *no*.  
[MOD] DD: oh, come on!  
[MOD] DD: really?!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] WD: I despair for humanity sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m not referring to them as ‘Galarian X’ all the time, the Galarian Birds have the nicknames Yan, Tyan and Tethera, because they’re the first three digits of [a system Scottish shepherds used to count their sheep.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yan_Tan_Tethera)
> 
> This is another original episode to introduce to Ash later-generation concepts, regional formes, much like Episode 15 (Bout With the Fairies) did with the Fairy type. The context is that Ash and his friends have encountered a researcher from Alola who is investigating differences in regional formes, and it also gives Brock the opportunity to claim back some dignity after the last (skipped) episode. Plus, though it goes unmentioned here, it gives Ash and Pikachu an encounter with a Raichu who’s not a total jerk.
> 
> People with knowledge of the episode guide may notice that a particular episode is missing here, specifically ‘Bye Bye Butterfree’. That episode is still happening, because it’s a valuable lesson that Ash needs to learn, and I can’t deny Butterfree his mate. It’s just not happening *now*. It’s odd that Ash would be forced to part ways with a Pokémon this early. The only two reasons I could think of that the writers did this was 1: to decrease Ash’s active party to five so they wouldn’t have to write scenes for all of them (after this, Ash would catch Primeape, which lasted all of four episodes on the team, and Muk and his 30 Tauros, who all immediately went back to Oak’s); 2: to remove Ash’s super-effective Bug-type Pokémon in order to create an excuse for Ash to need to go off after Saffron attempt #1 and get a Ghost-type which he didn’t actually get and which would have been weak to Psychic anyway.


	28. Episode 28 (The Psychic of Saffron)

WS: <} So THIS is what Caly meant.  
WS: <} I get it.  
UT: was the guy right?  
UT: can i not just learn psychic stuff?  
[MOD] DD: if it were really easy, everybody would do it!  
[MOD] DD: trust me, i’d *love* to help, but sabrina already knows i’m here.  
[MOD] DD: her mental defenses are insane and i can’t even get in the building.  
UT: what about aura stuff?  
UT: like lucario said?  
[MOD] TM: Aura training requires weeks of intense preparation.  
[MOD] TM: Even with the most competent teacher, if you were to begin now, you would be ready to face Sabrina in maybe six months.  
[MOD] TM: And you would have to forget about challenging the league. It would need your full concentration.  
UT: so i really am stuck with finding a ghost or dark-type.  
UT: thanks for the help anyway!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
GO: We’ve seen some crazy stuff so far on Ash’s journey, but that was…  
[MOD] DD: extra-crazy?  
GO: Weirder than that.  
GO: She shrank them into a *dollhouse*!  
TD: I should be there.  
TD: Direct intervention or not, that gym leader has some serious mental issues.  
[MOD] DD: giratina, how easy was it to open up the reverse world portals for the cameras?  
[ADMIN] WW: IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT  
[ADMIN] WW: IT SHOULDNT BE POSSIBLE TO GUARD AGAINST MY PORTALS BUT SHE DID  
[MOD] DD: how the hell can she do that?!  
WS: <} A lot of this is just going over my head.  
GO: You’re not alone there, Zama.  
[MOD] DD: hmmmmmm.  
[MOD] DD: so they’re gonna go to lavender town.  
[MOD] DD: makes sense i guess.  
TD: How so?  
[MOD] DD: the place is a ghost magnet.  
[MOD] DD: dunno why.  
[MOD] DD: …  
[MOD] DD: wait what zama what did calyrex say  
WS: <} He said that it would be pointless watching this attempt?  
[MOD] DD: damn it, calyrex!  
GO: Guess that explains why Celebi ditched us too.  
GO: Even though she said before she likes discovering stuff, the Psychic-type gym must’ve been too great of a temptation.  
GO: And did anybody ever work out why Lugia didn’t show up this time?  
[MOD] TM: Oh, right.  
[MOD] TM: Poor timing on Ash’s part again.  
[MOD] TM: We’re coming up on the day of the Legend Festival on Shamouti.  
GO: Oh, I forgot about that.  
GO: That would explain why we haven’t heard anything from the birds for the last few days either.  
WS: <} See I don’t get why we can’t have festivals about us.  
WS: <} Zacian and me.  
WS: <} What do we get instead?  
WS: <} Two statues in a cave that nobody’s seen for hundreds of years with a mud mural in front of it.  
WS: <} Even Calyrex is better represented, and that statue’s head’s fallen off.  
TD: Mud mural?  
WS: <} Haven’t you seen it?  
WS: <} It’s like brown and browner.  
TD: Zamazenta, you’re colorblind.  
WS: <} …  
WS: <} That might explain a few things…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the brightest doggo is our Zamazenta.
> 
> Having examined what I've got up so far, I've come to a decision. The next two episodes I'll continue posting daily at about the same time, which takes us neatly up to Episode 30, which is conveniently a good place to pause. Then I'll take a short break from posting so I can build up a backlog again. Much like Ash's poor timing, reaching the end of the backlog is coinciding with me needing to write Erika's gym battle, which in the vein of Cerulean and Amaranth is going to be in-depth and thus long. To be honest, I'm amazed I've even been able to keep up daily posting for this long.


	29. Episode 29 (A Cubone to Pick)

CS:  
CS:  
CS:  
CS: …I fucked up.  
[MOD] TM: Suicune.  
[MOD] TM: None of that was your fault.  
CS: How?!  
CS: I made things worse!  
CS: If I hadn’t done anything, they would have still taken the Cubone, but instead they took the Cubone *and* the Marowak I asked to help!  
[MOD] DD: hey, none of us saw it coming either.  
[MOD] DD: we’ve seen team rocket fail so many times we just didn’t think they’d ever win anything.  
[MOD] CW: you were (warned)  
crystallineSlush [CS] fled the memo.  
[MOD] TM: I’d better come find her.  
twiceMulticolored [TM] fled the memo.  
[MOD] DD: okay.  
[MOD] DD: i’ve got a cunning plan.  
BG: Oh no  
US: how cunning we talkin here  
[MOD] DD: cunning as a pack of nickit who’ve spotted a picnic.  
[MOD] DD: hey @counterweightwillow @oddityodyssey want to help me fuck up team rocket’s hideout?  
[MOD] CW:  
OO: oh very yes!  
[MOD] DD: we know where it is since ash and the others got captured the other day, and i bet that’s where cubone’s being taken!  
[MOD] CW: this is a very (bad idea)  
[MOD] CW:  
[MOD] CW: lets do it  
US: can i help  
[MOD] DD: no offense koko but we never figured out why hoopa can’t make portals to alola.  
OO: it just doesnt work  
[MOD] DD: and i cba to teleport that far right now.  
[MOD] DD: so you’re kinda far away.  
US: no im not im behind you  
[MOD] DD: WHAT THE FUCK  
[MOD] DD: when did you get here???  
US: about thirty seconds ago  
US: im on vacation  
[MOD] DD: that would explain the alolan shirt.  
[MOD] DD: okay great!  
[MOD] DD: hoopa, can we do the planning over at your place? it’ll be easier.  
OO: gotcha!  
OO: allez-hooparing!  
BG: What am I supposed to tell father when he returns  
[MOD] DD: that he’s more than welcome to help out if he wants!  
decibelDrama [DD] fled the memo.  
counterweightWillow [CW] fled the memo.  
unabatedStimulus [US] fled the memo.  
oddityOdyssey [OO] fled the memo.  
BG: Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Played the Let's Go games? Remember that Cubone that Team Rocket capture near Lavender Town? Yeah. It turns out that it's a bad thing to forget that the hapless villains who've been dogging you being useless for months were previously competent enough to get a reputation. After all of the positive points that have been brought about by the presence of legendaries, we've found our first negative one. Poor Suicune. Also, Cubone is another Pokémon that never got an episode of its own in the original series.
> 
> Doing anime/game integration around this section is awkward, because in the games you go Vermilion>Lavender>Celadon>Saffron and Ash is going Vermilion>Saffron>Lavender>Saffron>Celadon. It requires getting... creative.


	30. Episode 30 (Tower of Terror)

ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: wait where is everyone?  
BG: Don’t ask  
UT: uh  
UT: oh no  
UT: are they really doing that?  
BG: Yes  
UT: and here i was all excited about meeting agatha…  
UT: guess i’ll talk to them tomorrow after i’ve caught a ghost-type then.  
BG: You’re going ahead with this  
UT: i don’t really have a lot of other options.  
UT: there aren’t any dark-types native to this part of kanto.  
UT: if it means i have to spend the night in a spooky mansion then so be it!  
BG: You’re not afraid  
UT: nope!  
UT: i mean i’ve talked to giratina and darkrai and hoopa and marshadow and they’re not spooky at all!  
BG: Darkrai isn’t a ghost  
UT: he’s not?!

* * *

OG: Moltres  
DN: What?  
OG: I can’t move  
OG: I hurt, bro  
[MOD] BB: Well, maybe next year you’ll think twice about gorging yourself on all of the tributes the islanders left for you.  
OG: But what else am I supposed to do with it  
DN: Save it for later?  
DN: Zapdos managed to.  
[MOD] BB: Zapdos passed out in front of her television five hours ago.  
DN: And she still has stuff to eat later.  
DN: My point stands.  
OG: Lugia  
[MOD] BB: Yes?  
OG: How are you still so energetic  
[MOD] BB: You ask that question every year.  
OG: Do I  
[MOD] BB: The islanders’ playing of my song reinvigorates me. That’s it.  
OG: Why don’t they ever play my song  
OG: I have  
OG: The best song  
OG: In all the  
OG: All the  
offensiveGlaceon [OG] fainted.  
[MOD] BB: And that’s *why* you ask that question every year.  
DN: Ugh.  
DN: We probably missed out on Ash’s Psychic gym challenge, you know.  
[MOD] BB: Be that as it may, our ancestral appointments take precedence.  
[MOD] BB: You should get some sleep, Moltres. We’ve a long day ahead of us tomorrow.  
[MOD] BB: The mess the three of you made while you were showing off isn’t going to clean itself.  
DN: Ughhhh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though it has this title, this is *not* the episode with the same name from the original series, that’s the next episode. This new episode, in-context, has Ash charging into the Pokémon Tower (which didn’t appear in the anime) and getting completely reamed out for it by Elite Four Agatha, who it’d make sense to be introduced around the Ghost-type section, and who would direct Ash to the haunted mansion where he can *actually* get a Ghost-type. In canon she doesn’t appear until the Battle Frontier, and only then as the temporary leader of Viridian Gym. Oof. (Or as the schoolteacher in I Choose You’s nightmare, but that doesn’t count.)
> 
> This title also got its episode banned for a short while following 9/11.
> 
> Meanwhile, the birds one year before Movie 2000, after partying like it’s 1999. But the actual year is ambiguous. It’s a bit of an anachronistic mishmash.
> 
> As mentioned a couple of episodes ago, the story is now going into a short posting hiatus while I try to build up a backlog again. I’m going to aim for a couple of weeks’ worth of content at first, which covers both Erika and Koga’s gym battles. Thank you for sticking with the story so far! In the meantime, [here’s a little sneak peek at what’s to come…](https://pastebin.com/VhuLjFCv) (Ignore the content warning, I don't know why that's there.)


	31. Episode 31 (Night Fright)

ASH: okay, i think i get it!   
ASH: what’s that?   
ASH: uh   
ASH: uh   
ASH: uh   
DARKRAI: OKAY WHAT THE *FUCK*.   
DARKRAI: WHY ARE YOU HERE.   
ASH: because   
ASH: uh   
ASH: i’m here to catch a ghost-type?   
ASH: like i’ve been saying the last couple of days?   
DARKRAI: ARE YOU AWARE YOU’RE HAVING AN OUT-OF-BODY EXPERIENCE.   
ASH: is that what this is?   
ASH: oh good!   
ASH: kinda thought i was dead for a few minutes.   
DARKRAI: DON’T JUST BLOW THAT OFF LIKE IT’S NOTHING.   
DARKRAI: WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR PHYSICAL BODY.   
ASH: downstairs, with pikachu.   
ASH: i *think* someone dropped a chandelier on me.   
ASH: what are you doing here?   
DARKRAI: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.   
ASH: okay, okay!   
DARKRAI: …   
DARKRAI: *****MARSHADOW.*****   
MARSHADOW: what   
ASH: AGH   
ASH: how long were you there?!   
MARSHADOW: …   
ASH: wait, so…   
ASH: if i’m not actually dead, and i can’t understand these guys, how come i can understand you?   
DARKRAI: WHO THE FUCK KNOWS AND WHO THE FUCK CARES.   
DARKRAI: TAKE HIM BACK DOWNSTAIRS.   
ASH: wait!   
ASH: can i just talk to these guys first?   
DARKRAI: UGH FINE.   
DARKRAI: MARSHADOW, GET OVER HERE.   
MARSHADOW: what   
DARKRAI: DID YOU DO THIS.   
MARSHADOW: no   
MARSHADOW: he projected himself   
DARKRAI: TAUROSSHIT.   
DARKRAI: HE HAD HELP.   
DARKRAI: IF IT WASN’T YOU THEN   
DARKRAI: EXCUSE ME WHAT THE ****FUCK**** DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING.   
ASH: what?   
DARKRAI: NOT YOU, THAT.   
DARKRAI: THE DRIFLOON.   
ASH: i think he wanted to show me something?   
DARKRAI: ASH YOU DENSE IDIOT.   
DARKRAI: IT WANTED TO KIDNAP YOU.   
DARKRAI: I   
DARKRAI: NO, **YOU** LISTEN TO ***ME***.   
DARKRAI: THIS BOY IS PROTECTED.   
ASH: what?   
DARKRAI: SHUT THE FUCK UP ASH I’M TALKING.   
DARKRAI: IF *****ANY***** HARM COMES TO HIM FROM YOU I AM TAKING YOU STRAIGHT TO LADY YVELTAL.   
DARKRAI: UNDERSTAND.   
DARKRAI: THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU.   
DARKRAI: MARSHADOW, GO.   
ASH: as soon as i wake up i’m coming back up here with pikachu!   
DARKRAI: ASH NO.   
ASH: ash yes!!!   
ASH: listen up!   
ASH: i’m gonna come back up here with my friends!   
ASH: i’m gonna battle one of you!   
ASH: i’m gonna *catch* one of you!   
ASH: ‘cause you guys are bored, right?   
ASH: even though there’s loads of you here you’re all lonely!   
ASH: if you’re not interested then fine.   
ASH: but i’m ash ketchum, from pallet town, i’m going to be the world’s greatest pokémon master, and i need *your* help!   
ASH: ‘kay marshadow wake me up.   
ASH: let’s do this.   
MARSHADOW: ok   
DARKRAI: …   
DARKRAI: MOTHER OF ***FUCK***.

* * *

unassumingBoulder [UB] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

UB: Ash, you’ve been in there a long time, and we can hear strange noises.  
UB: Are you sure you’re okay?  
UB: We’re getting worried.  
UT: everything’s under control!  
UB: For some reason that doesn’t instill a lot of confidence.  
UB: …  
UB: Was that Charmander who just blew out that window?  
UT: y  
UT: sry busy  
UB: Okay then…  
UT: yes!!!!  
UB: What?  
UT: mission complete!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] uploaded file "ghostget.jpg".

* * *

nightmareUnleaded [NU] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
NU: @ULTIMATETRAINER  
NU: ****NEVER**** DO THAT AGAIN.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: do what?  
UT: thanks for helping me out again, by the way!  
TD: Oh?  
NU:  
NU:  
nightmareUnleaded [NU] fled the memo.  
TD: Darkrai?  
TD: Helping?  
TD: The world must be ending.  
[ADMIN] WW: DONT EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT  
UT: that went well i think!  
SS: well  
SS: that was well  
UT: uh yeah?  
UT: i mean i probably could’ve done without the whole getting knocked unconscious thing but i got a ghost-type in the end!  
[ADMIN] WW: OH YOU DID  
[ADMIN] WW: WHAT IS IT  
UT: i was kinda spoiled for choice, there were loads of ghost-types there for some reason.  
UT: but then the drifloon and shuppet broke out of the balls i threw at them and that only left me with my premier ball.  
UT: luckily that worked so when i get back to saffron you’ll get to see litwick in action!  
[ADMIN] WW: LITWICK  
[ADMIN] WW: HM  
TD: I’m not necessarily sure that was a good idea.  
TD: You do know that they leech life force from those around them, right?  
UT: yes.  
UT: but darkrai made her promise not to do that so it’s all good!  
TD: I’ll freely admit I don’t like any Ghost-types, present company excepted.  
[ADMIN] WW: THANK YOU  
TD: So whatever you caught I’m sure I would disapprove of it.  
TD: If you think you can handle it, then by all means.  
UT: it’s not like nobody’s ever trained a litwick before.  
TD: That is a good point.  
UT: @decibeldrama are you having any luck?  
[ADMIN] WW: WE HAVENT HEARD FROM MEW OR THE OTHERS SINCE THEY USED ONE OF HOOPAS RINGS TO ACCESS THE TEAM ROCKET BUILDING.  
UT: oh no!  
UT: i hope they haven’t been captured!  
[ADMIN] WW: WED KNOW IF THEY WERE  
[ADMIN] WW: EITHER SOMETHING IN THE BUILDING IS BLOCKING COMMUNICATION  
[ADMIN] WW: OR THEYRE KEEPING SILENT AS THEY DO IT  
[ADMIN] WW: EITHER WAY THEYVE BEEN IN THERE ALL NIGHT  
UT: guess we’ll be the rescue mission for the rescue mission!  
UT: when we get there…  
TD: I hope you have a plan for this.  
UT: well part one is going to be making something up for an excuse to go in there.  
UT: part two is  
UT: um  
UT: probably just charging in!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
TD: …  
TD: Entei was right.  
TD: He has *terrible* role models.

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] began pestering mythicWisteria [MW].

UT: how close are you to saffron city and how soon can you get there?   
MW: Um, I’m in Cerulean, so I guess a few hours by train…?   
UT: i know you’re looking for stuff on the rainbow hero, but do you and lucario want to help me rescue a pokémon from team rocket?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Train status: in a river. Gen V Pokémon? In *my* Kanto series? It’s more likely than you think. Welcome back from the one-week hiatus, everyone.
> 
> Sending Ash to Lavender Town to catch a Gastly/Haunter/Gengar doesn’t hold up any more, partially because the Dark type exists, but mostly because all three of them are also part Poison-type and thus weak to Psychic. You also couldn’t replicate Ash’s aim in Gen I because there was a bug which meant Psychic was flat-out *immune* to Ghost. So he caught something else instead. The original series suffered badly from only having three Ghost-types (counting this one, Gastly got *three* episodes focusing on it), so I had to throw in some later-region ones, and Litwick fit the bill for capture.


	32. Episode 32 (Scoping Out the Competition)

decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Specially Selected for a Specially Dangerous Mission].  
DD: sitrep: everything’s fucked.  
US: well we knew that  
US: did you work out why we cant talk to anyone else  
DD: yeah, i think it’s sabrina’s fault.  
DD: it feels like the same thing that prevented me from getting into the gym so it’s probably her.  
DD: which of course means we can’t get out, either.  
US: damn you hoopa  
CW: is there any (good) news  
DD: actually yes.  
DD: it turns out this isn’t actually a team rocket building, it’s just some random company they’re hostaging.  
DD: called silph or something.  
DD: they make something called the silph scope.  
US: catchy  
DD: supposedly it lets you see invisible ghosts.  
US: so how does that help  
DD: i’ve got it so now the rockets can’t see me.  
US: so how does that help  
DD: i’m still working on that part.  
DD: azelf, you never said, did you find cubone and marowak?  
CW: yes  
DD: where are they?  
CW: not (here)  
CW: at another (base)  
DD: ffs!  
DD: so this was all pointless!  
CW: (untrue)  
CW: we have (proved) that they are not (here)  
CW: they are in (celadon)  
DD: you could’ve said!  
DD: okay, that means we need to come up with an exit strategy.  
DD: i *think* i can still go zoroark and get us out under illusion cover.  
DD: up for making a break for it?  
US: nah  
DD: why the fuck not???  
US: cause ash and that other guy just kicked down the front door  
DD: what.  
CW: who  
US: that guy  
US: um  
US: sorrel  
CW: it appears we are being (rescued)  
DD: oh gdi ash!  
DD: k you two get over here i’m putting up this illusion now!

* * *

decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave decibelDrama [DD] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] DD: in the end that was more fun than i was expecting.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] DD: i mean, we had a cool adventure, i found a toy, and we got to see ash and sorrel team up against the bad guys!  
[MOD] DD: full win i think!  
[ADMIN] TO: Ahem.  
[MOD] DD: aw shit.

* * *

decibelDrama [DD] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

DD: k.   
DD: got a few bits of bad news.   
UT: what?   
DD: one (1)   
DD: cubone and marowak weren’t there.   
DD: azelf says they’re at an actual team rocket place in celadon.   
DD: two (2)   
DD: whatever sabrina’s doing she’s upped her guard so giratina can’t get in either now.   
DD: so if you want the rematch recorded you’re gonna have to get one of your human friends to record it.   
UT: gah.   
DD: three (3) and perhaps the worst of all   
DD: grandad got mad at me and revoked my moderatorship :(   
UT: well   
UT: you did drag azelf and tapu koko into a building full of team rocket thieves.   
DD: they came voluntarily!   
DD: we all enjoyed it!   
DD: don’t tell me you’re going party pooper on me ash!   
UT: i’m not!   
UT: i had a great time!   
UT: but this *is* team rocket.   
UT: even though they’re not very good i wouldn’t want you guys to get captured!   
DD: i guess.   
DD: i saw something while everything was going on. litwick?   
UT: yep!   
UT: the lavender mission was a success!   
UT: caught a ghost-type, met another member of the elite four but didn’t battle her, and didn’t get abducted by ghosts.   
DD: yep, not getting abducted’s great.   
DD: would definitely recommend that.   
DD: also, sorrel’s back on the squad then?   
UT: he’s still looking for stuff on the rainbow hero, so no.   
UT: when i’m done with my gym battle he’s going to head back to cerulean.   
UT: and verity’s going to go with him.   
DD: what?   
DD: why?   
UT: apparently she was going that way before we met up with her and she kind of got distracted?   
UT: so for a while it’ll just be me, misty and brock again.   
UT: but we’ve got our other chat, so it’s not like we can’t keep in contact.   
DD: oh, i forgot about that!   
DD: how’s it going?   
UT: well, pretty much everybody’s asked zygarde about his quirk.   
UT: he’s chatting with brock rn actually.   
DD: wow.   
DD: okay, i take it back. if you can get chief party pooper to lighten up, there’s no way you’d ever be one too!   
UT: haha!   
DD: i kinda had to get out of the area so i could message peeps without sabrina’s insane shield getting in the way, so in case i don’t get to say it, good luck!   
UT: thanks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t you just hate it when your evil organisation is taken down a couple of pegs by a ten-year-old and his friend?
> 
> Integration of the game Team Rocket plotline hits a bit of a snag here because Ash visits Saffron and Celadon in the wrong order, so I’ve had to iron it out a bit. First draft of this chapter had Chase show up instead of Ash calling Sorrel down, and he would then get added to the group chat, but I decided I didn’t want to crowd things out this early. That, plus I couldn’t nail down a character for Chase that I was happy with, and adding both him and Elaine to the chat would set a standard that I’d need to do the same for the other non-main player characters. They’ve both got handles reserved in case I change my mind, though.
> 
> Yes, Verity’s temporarily leaving the party now as well (after the next chapter), bringing us back down to normal, and Mew learns that while some degree of interference is permissible, charging straight into the heart of organized crime is not.


	33. Episode 33 (The Marsh Badge Rematch)

TM: I heard that the first attempt at this challenge went poorly.  
TW: yeah.  
TW: you could put it that way.  
TW: Ash had the type advantage but Sabrina’s Abra evolved in the middle of the battle.  
TW: for some reason we all ended up inside a dollhouse.  
TW: I don’t want to talk about it.  
TM: Fair enough.  
TW: to be honest I don’t know if a Litwick will help him.  
TW: he seems to think having a ghost-type will magically give him an advantage.  
TW: he thought that about Butterfree the first time.  
TW: he’ll never be a Pokémon master if he thinks like that.  
TM: …I’d like your honest opinion, actually.  
TM: Do you think Ash *is* capable of becoming a Pokémon Master?  
TW: he doesn’t even know what defines it!  
TW: but…  
TW: Ash is the strangest trainer I’ve ever met.  
TW: back when he stole my bike I thought he was the *worst* trainer I’d ever met.  
TW: for letting Pikachu get into such a condition.  
TW: and then he stole my bike so I thought he was also a thief.  
TW: but there was a moment, when we were in a place called Rota.  
TW: did he tell you about Rota?  
TM: I’m well aware of what happened at Rota, yes.  
TW: he offered the Lucario a chance to see the world with us.  
TW: not even on his team.  
TW: just as… a friend, I guess.  
TW: then there was that thing in Cerulean City we talked about before, when he wanted *me* to decide whether he should get the badge.  
TW: what kind of trainer does that?  
TM: Ash defies all kinds of definition.  
TM: While he hasn’t said it in so many words, I think he understands that if one *wants* to be a Pokémon Master - for any definition of the term - there are no shortcuts.  
TW: I guess that’s right.  
TW: so to answer your question…  
TW: …  
TW: …  
TW: yeah.  
TW: I think he can.  
TW: but he’s got a long way to go.  
TW: don’t tell him I said that.  
TM: Wasn’t planning to.  
TW: I’d better go, the match is starting.

tropicalWaterfall [TW] stopped pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].

* * *

[MOD] NM: They’ve Been In There A Very Long Time .  
[MOD] TM: Patience.  
DD: ho-oh have you met me???  
DD: i don’t do patience!  
DD: i do only one thing that’s even vaguely like patience and that’s 52-pickup.  
MU: What’s 52-pickup???  
DD: got a deck of cards handy?  
MU: Um.  
MU: The answer to that is yes and I don’t know why.  
DD: this is 52-pickup!  
MU: WHY  
WC: rofl  
WS: <} Well, anything’s better than listening to Calyrex.  
WS: <} He’s ranting again.  
DD: guess he knew how this one was gonna go down too huh.  
[MOD] NM: He Messaged Every Single Psychic-Type And Told Them Not To Bother Watching .  
COT: for the record i didn’t jump ahead and watch this one first last time.  
COT: i just forgot this was happening and had pings turned off!  
COT: which was stupid of me in retrospect ‘cause you never know when you’ll need a temporal anchor.  
WC: youre a time traveller you can just go back in time and watch anything you forgot  
WC: dumbbell  
COT: rude!  
COT: but hey, now i know that there was no point, so i don’t need to!  
COT: plus, y’know, some of you guys *were* there and i didn’t show up.  
[MOD] NM: Celebi No .  
COT: what?  
[MOD] NM: We Know You’re Waiting For One Of Us To Ask About Paradoxes .  
[MOD] NM: Don’t Start .  
COT: aw, poo.  
MU: If Ash does get put in a dollhouse again, what’s the plan?  
DD: i refuse to accept that a human is a better psychic than me.  
DD: in which case the plan is i bust in there and bust him out.  
[MOD] TM: Seriously, Mew?  
[MOD] TM: After what just happened you’re going to just charge in again?  
DD: i don’t see you coming up with any better ideas!  
[MOD] TM: I’ve already arranged with Hoopa to transport Cresselia there if things go south.  
[MOD] TM: I know it’s even more direct intervention, and I’m not keen on the idea, but it’s a problem that’s bigger than just Ash.  
[MOD] TM: I sought Arceus’ approval first, and he agrees.  
DD: hmph!  
DD: it’s not like i have anything *else* to lose.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: Isn’t this the time of year right after the Shamouti festival that Lugia actually gets some time off and you have to moderate them in the Kanto memo?  
DD: and they’re all super hyper, yeah.  
[MOD] TM: …So who’s moderating them?

* * *

TT: nope  
TT: we are 100% your problem now  
OG: *UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ*  
DN: Articuno, you can’t beatbox. Shut up.  
OG: *UNTZ N-PA UNTZ N-PA*  
[MOD] NN: zZz @decibelDrama help zZz

* * *

DD: no idea.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: um.  
UT: marsh badge get, i guess?  
[BOT] PB: Da-da-da… do?  
DD: you guess?  
DD: c’mon ash you can’t just say that and get away with it!  
UT: well, i got the badge, but i didn’t actually defeat sabrina.  
UT: or get close…  
[MOD] TM: So what happened?  
UT: there was this haunter that followed me out of lavender town?  
UT: it lurked around the gym for most of the battle and then spent a while pulling faces at sabrina.  
UT: then she went into hysterics and so did her kadabra so the referee declared it unable to battle.  
UT: and he declared me the winner of the badge.  
[MOD] TM: Victini.  
MU: Victini, you didn’t.  
WC: what  
WC: whatre yall blaming me for  
WC: i didnt do shit  
[MOD] TM: Language.  
UT: i tried to protest because i didn’t really do anything.  
UT: but sabrina was laughing too hard to be able to speak.  
DD: so what happened to your litwick?  
UT: it was my first battle with her!  
UT: and i kind of thought the pokédex would be helpful but it wasn’t!  
COT: sure, blame your tools!  
UT: i think it’s not set up for pokémon who’re usually found outside the home regions.  
MU: …  
MU: Koko, who you may remember left earlier when he was told there was no stream, has just asked me to relay a message.  
DD: is it an awful pun?  
MU: Yes.  
MU: Suffice to say I won’t be relaying it.  
UT: for the record i’ve already made a decision.  
UT: i’ll take it but if i get the chance i’m coming back and doing this properly.  
WS: <} Now you’re starting to sound like Zacian.  
UT: ?  
WS: <} He’s always going on about never leaving stuff unfinished.  
WS: <} Me, I just prefer to get the job done and go home.  
[MOD] TM: Ash, I think the important part is whether you learned a lesson in your battle.  
[MOD] TM: Isn’t that what the gyms are for in the first place?  
UT: yeah!  
UT: and i did learn something!  
UT: i learned that just because i’ve got a type advantage, it doesn’t mean i’m an expert right away.  
UT: i should’ve learned that with butterfree the first time.  
[MOD] NM: Well Said .  
DD: but it’s just as well you didn’t ‘cause you’ve got a new pokémon now!  
UT: yeah!  
UT: though it means that i’m gonna be sending another one back to professor oak’s for a week with butterfree.  
UT: pidgeotto this time.  
UT: brock says it’s about a week to celadon city so they’ll be back in time for the gym there.  
UT: and it’s the grass gym so i’ll probably use at least pidgeotto and charmander.  
UT: i’d better go, we’re gonna go see sorrel and verity off.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] TM: Wait a moment.  
[MOD] TM: Is Ash actually headed out of the city in the direction he intended to?  
DD: yeah.  
[MOD] TM: he’s not getting distracted by something somewhere else?  
DD: nope.  
twiceMulticolored [TM] fainted.  
COT: pfft  
WC: what a drama king  
WC: well w/e im out  
WC: peace  
winCondition [WC] fled the memo.  
DD: dicktini, living up to his name there.  
DD: still here lele?  
MU: Yes.  
DD: give koko a message from me:  
DD: i owe him a kick for whatever pun he came up with.  
MU: Um, you’re a little too late.  
MU: Lunala already kicked him from the Alola memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the original series, Ash only ever properly won two and a half of his badges (Vermilion, Cinnabar, and Fuchsia). He forfeited in Pewter (Brock gave him the badge anyway), Team Rocket interrupted in Cerulean (he got the badge anyway), this whole thing happens in Saffron, Team Rocket interrupted in Celadon (he got the badge anyway), Team Rocket interrupted in Fuchsia (he got away with only defeating one of Koga’s Pokémon), and Team Rocket interrupted themselves in Viridian. In this continuity, this is Ash’s first charity badge (given Brock’s secondary challenge). Ash winning this one always was a bit of an Arceus ex Machina. The episode gets compressed a little bit because he does have a Ghost-type of his own but having a base type advantage an instant expert does not make you.
> 
> Here, Ash has the advantage that not only can the legendaries prompt him about what he learned, but also remind him when he inevitably forgets.


	34. Episode 34 (A Chansey Operation)

GO: I didn’t know Ash had first aid training.  
DD: not that much tbh just the basic stuff.  
DD: he told us a while back that there was some camp he went to a couple of years ago.  
DD: someone injured themselves and made him realize that that sort of thing could happen.  
DD: his mom packed him a safety kit with stuff like sticking plasters and stuff in.  
GO: Thank goodness for Ash’s mom.  
TD: It would be folly for anyone to set out on a journey by themselves without some preparation in that field.  
TD: Speaking as someone who specializes in healing.  
DD: we made him pack a towel too.  
DD: ‘course we were expecting him to get a squirtle at that point!  
[MOD] TM: You’re not ready for adventure unless you know where your towel is.  
DD: ho-oh did you seriously just say that?  
[MOD] TM: What?  
[MOD] TM: I read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Douglas Adams was obviously a Water-type specialist.
> 
> Another episode moved from later in the season, re-arranged for current Pokémon status, and for a quick throwaway reference to a Certain Incident. Ash may not remember the person involved, but he remembers the lesson learned from it. Although the first aid thing already came up during Charmander's debut episode, he really needed more care than Ash could give, and that Sorrel had more instruction for.
> 
> Short, but I was originally going to skip this episode anyway.


	35. Episode 35 (Electabuzz or Bust)

[MOD] BB: Okay.  
[MOD] BB: Heads up.  
beastieBirb [BB] unbanned offensiveGlaceon [OG].  
beastieBirb [BB] unbanned thunderbirbTwo [TT].  
beastieBirb [BB] unbanned dantesNferno [DN].  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TT: guuuuuh  
TT: finally  
TT: and what the fuck  
TT: i don’t remember that building being there  
GO: Which one?  
TT: that one  
TT: the big one  
TT: i remember that place and it wasn’t there before  
GO: Oh, I see.  
GO: Apparently it’s a power facility for that high-speed train they’re building between Kanto and Johto.  
GO: Ash is inside doing… something.  
TT: excuse me  
TT: this was done without my permission  
TT: they’ll be hearing from my lawyer  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] BB: Fuck.  
[MOD] TM: Can you not stop her?  
[MOD] BB: I’m not in the area.  
[MOD] BB: I got… delayed.  
offensiveGlaceon [OG] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
OG: Which means he got lost  
OG: Like he does every year  
[MOD] BB: See, you remember *that*.  
OG: As opposed to what  
[MOD] TM: Lugia, where exactly are you?  
[MOD] BB: I don’t know.  
[MOD] BB: I was following the coast, then I got called down to mediate a dispute between some locals…  
[MOD] BB: Then I got a bit turned around.  
[MOD] BB: I found a cave in which to spend the night; hopefully by day I’ll be able to more easily work out where I am.  
OG: Lugia  
OG: Mate  
OG: I don’t know how to tell you this  
OG: But it’s daytime here  
[MOD] BB: What?  
GO: Um, Lugia?  
GO: Where did you go on vacation?  
[MOD] BB: Hoenn.  
[MOD] TM: So you spent a few days in Hoenn.  
[MOD] TM: How, then, have you ended up in a completely different time zone?  
[MOD] BB: Look, you don’t need to rub it in!  
[MOD] TM: The one time Ash manages to leave a city going in the right direction and then this happens.  
[MOD] TM: The two of you are unbelievable.  
GO: Um, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Zapdos just showed up on the stream.  
GO: That was fast.  
[MOD] TM: Oh, great.  
OG: Hey no fair  
OG: Why can she always find her way straight there whenever it’s not important  
OG: But when we really need her it takes her hours  
[MOD] BB: @thunderbirbTwo Final warning, Zapdos.  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TT: hey this is my department  
TT: they built a power plant  
TT: i need to give it my blessing  
[MOD] BB: …What?  
TT: look if it can’t handle me landing on it and using it to recharge then it’s not good enough  
OG: Ha yeah you go sis  
GO: Are you likely to want to land on it?  
TT: shaymin  
TT: power plant in my dictionary means perch  
TT: scuse me  
[MOD] TM: Lugia, do you want me to remove her?  
[MOD] BB: One moment, I’m actually going to load the stream.  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: No, I don’t think you’ll need to.  
[MOD] BB: Yet, anyway.  
TT: see  
TT: glad you understand  
TT: this is something i take very serioartiho’ertaaoe;fia ew  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] fainted.  
GO: Well, she blew up the power.  
GO: And herself.  
[MOD] BB: *Now* she needs removing.

* * *

UT: so that was you who knocked out the power huh?  
TT: guilty  
TT: thought it was a different voltage  
UT: actually it was helpful!  
TT: wait  
TT: it was  
[MOD] BB: Please don’t encourage her, Ash.  
UT: but it was!  
UT: we were having trouble with this guy’s electabuzz.  
UT: turned out it was sick from being overcharged and needed to get rid of all the extra electricity.  
UT: which it could do when the power went out.  
TT: score  
[MOD] BB: Don’t think this gives you free pass to intervene whenever you want to.  
[MOD] BB: I will be reporting this.  
[MOD] TM: I already did.  
[MOD] BB: Thank you.  
UT: there was something weird though.  
UT: when i looked up electabuzz on the pokédex, it was yellow.  
UT: but the one i was talking about was orange?  
UT: is that another form thing?  
TT: orange  
TT: wait  
TT: when you first saw it did it sparkle  
UT: um, yes?  
TT: yes  
TT: @dantesnferno you owe me twenty bucks  
dantesNferno [DN] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
DN: Yes, yes, okay, fine.  
UT: ?  
DN: I bet her that you’d never see a shiny.  
UT: shiny?  
[MOD] BB: Sometimes, Pokémon hatch with an alternate coloration, and they give off a shimmer when seen.  
[MOD] BB: The colloquial term is ‘shiny Pokémon’.  
[MOD] BB: However they are extremely rare.  
[MOD] BB: It’s been said that many go their entire lives without seeing a single legendary?  
[MOD] BB: Shinies are rarer than that.  
UT: woooow.  
TT: tho it’s not like it’s rare for us since we can just get arceus to make us shiny whenever we want to  
TT: except i don’t ‘cause for some reason for me ‘shiny’ is one shade darker yellow  
TT: literally cannot tell the difference  
[MOD] TM: As much as there is an appeal to be a different color to that for which we are expected, it does have its drawbacks.  
[MOD] TM: Mostly in that for the most part we want to *avoid* attention.  
DD: you should see groudon.  
DD: he goes from red to piss-yellow.  
[MOD] BB: Mew.  
DD: yeah yeah.  
GO: I don’t recommend it.  
GO: I tried it once and the sparks set me on fire.  
TT: how did you manage that  
GO: I don’t know!  
DN: Zapdos, I’ve just reviewed our bet, and it would seem your winning is null and void.  
DN: I specifically stated that Ash would never *catch* a shiny.  
TT: same difference  
DN: No it’s not!  
UT: well now i just gotta catch one!  
UT: no.  
UT: i’m gonna catch *more*!  
DN: Ash, I admire your enthusiasm, but the odds are the same for everyone.  
DN: Chosen One or not.  
UT: well then.  
UT: looks like i’m just gonna have to change those odds!  
[MOD] BB: …How?  
UT: by… capturing multiple shiny pokémon?  
[MOD] BB: Ash, that’s not the right phrase to use there.  
[MOD] BB: You should say ‘I’m just going to have to prove the odds wrong’.  
TT: no  
TT: he should say  
TT: never tell me the odds  
UT: he  
UT: didn’t tell me the odds though? :/  
TT: thanks captain literal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another original episode to introduce another post-Gen I concept: shinies. Also it gives Electabuzz an episode of its own, which it never had before. And Zapdos lands on a power plant, which I guess could be a game reference if you squint.


	36. Episode 36 (Primeape Goes Bananas)

ultimateTrainer [UT] uploaded file "ouch.jpg".  
DD: OW  
OG: Oof  
GO: Wow, Ash. Are you okay?  
UT: i’m good!  
UT: going through all of brock’s tissues, but good!  
DD: that was crazy.  
DD: you’re crazy.  
UT: it worked, didn’t it?  
UT: primeape get!  
[BOT] PB: Da-da-da-do!  
[MOD] TM: At the cost of a bloody nose.  
[MOD] TM: Not your most well-thought-out plan.  
OG: Assuming he ever has well-thought-out plans  
UT: i repeat:  
UT: it worked, didn’t it?  
UT: and charmander learned something new too!  
DD: i saw!  
DD: virizion keeps being pedantic about charmander but i can’t wait to tell her he learned dragon breath!  
[MOD] TM: Was capturing it really such a clever move?  
UT: the way i figured it is this.  
UT: pokémon master.  
UT: i’ve got to prove i can handle all sorts of pokémon.  
UT: including ones that don’t listen to me.  
UT: that said, i… think he’s gonna go back to professor oak’s first.  
UT: i’m sure he can work out how i should start.  
UT: in the meantime, celadon city is just a day away!  
GO: We noticed!  
GO: Your match with the Grass-type gym is fast approaching!  
GO: All of the Grass-types are planning to be there!  
DD: wait, all of them?  
DD: even zarude?  
GO: Well, maybe not Zarude.  
UT: i don’t think i’ve met zarude?  
[MOD] TM: To put it mildly, Zarude hates humans.  
[MOD] TM: Her presence would not have a positive impact on your morale.  
OG: You do realize that means Calyrex right  
[MOD] TM: Calyrex won’t be a problem.  
OG: One (1) fear  
UT: agh  
UT: sorry my nose is bleeding again brb  
OG: Yeah Ash there are trees

* * *

UB: There is a progress update.  
UB: Ash has made another new capture.  
MW: Oh?  
UB: A Primeape.  
DS: arent those hard to train  
DS: howd he catch it anyway  
UB: Well, a few hours ago when we first saw it -  
UB: And it stole his hat -  
UB: It was a Mankey.  
UB: Then we had some unwelcome visitors.  
MW: Oh, for crying out loud.  
UB: Yeah, that was our reaction too.  
TW: we’re getting kinda tired of dealing with these prats.  
DS: theyre only following you guys  
DS: havent been attacked or anything since we left you  
TW: so it *is* just Ash.  
TW: I thought it was but I wasn’t sure.  
DS: why isnt ash followed by a horde of absol  
UT: you do realize i’m in here too, right?  
UT: and i don’t know what an absol is but from the way you said it i’m guessing it’s bad.  
MW: Absol are Pokémon chiefly native to Hoenn who appear moments before disasters strike.  
MW: It’s not currently known whether they cause the disasters or are just trying to warn people about them.  
UT: oh, cool!  
TW: …that’s actually accurate.  
TW: Ash is a walking disaster.  
UT: hey!  
TW: you don’t get to protest, you ran into a tree, idiot!  
DS: …  
DS: unless team rocket are absol in disguise  
UB: On the balance of things, probably not.

* * *

TM: For the record, Absol don’t cause disasters, at least not usually.  
TM: They’re very dedicated to trying to prevent them.  
TM: Even if, for the most part, humans assume the opposite and drive them away.  
UT: gotcha.  
TM: They’re not typically native to Kanto, so I doubt you’ll see one, but I’d rather your first encounter with one not be clouded with misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ash took a lot of abuse over the course of this episode; the end result here being that he smacked face-first into a tree and bloodied his nose.
> 
> One key point from the canon version of this episode is that Charmander learned Rage, and this might have been a factor into why he started being unruly upon evolving. This doesn’t happen any more, because… it can’t. Seriously, from FRLG onwards Charmander can’t even *learn* Rage. Rage itself was also one of the moves removed completely in Gen VIII. So he learns Dragon Breath instead, which is in Charmander’s movepool now at about the same point.


	37. Episode 37 (Pokémon Scent-sation)

DD: hold up.  
DD: i think we’ve got everyone!  
DD: *ahem*  
DD: grass-type sound off!  
DD: shaymin!  
GO: Hai!  
DD: celebi!  
POT: hai!  
DD: bulu!  
SU: Present.  
OG: C-c-c-combo breaker  
DD: virizion!  
SG: Mostly paying attention to Cobalion, but otherwise here.  
DD: great!  
DD: so that just leaves probably-won’t-turn-up zarude and let’s-hope-he-doesn’t-turn-up calyrex.  
DD: so!  
DD: giratina will be streaming ash’s battle today, aided by the lake guardians!  
DD: i’ve not got mod powers any more because i’m ‘not to be trusted’ but that doesn’t mean you can go around breaking the rules and stuff!  
DD: besides, lugia’s here.  
[MOD] BB: And Giratina and the Lake Guardians.  
GO: Okay!  
GO: Let’s get this viewing party going!  
[MOD] GW: BattleLooksToBeBeginningShortly.  
[MOD] GW: ObservedLeaderErika.  
[MOD] GW: PleasantIndividualWhoAshMetThisMorning.  
OG: Oh that’s what he meant  
OG: I was wondering why he was interested in that perfume shop  
OG: Considering he can’t smell anything atm  
US: why dont we get a sound off  
US: non-grass type sound off  
US: representin kanto we got art moltres an mew  
OG: Hai  
DD: hai!  
DN: No.  
OG: C-c-c-combo breaker  
DN: I’m not in the mood for that at the moment, Articuno.  
US: someones got a stick up their ass today  
US: representin johto we got entei an lugia  
[MOD] BB: Is this really necessary, Koko?  
US: oh yeah  
US: entei  
US: entei  
US: k he fucked off next  
SU: Why must you be like this, Koko?  
US: dunno what youre talkin about bro  
US: representin hoenn we got  
US: uh  
US: nobody  
US: representin sinnoh we got the obvious  
[ADMIN] WW: WHAT  
[MOD] NM: He Means Us , Giratina .  
[ADMIN] WW: OH  
[ADMIN] WW: IN WHICH CASE  
[ADMIN] WW: HAI  
[MOD] CW: hai  
[MOD] GW: Hai!  
[MOD] NM: Hai !  
GO: Yes, Cresselia sends her apologies.  
GO: I don’t know what she’s doing but it sounded important.  
US: representin unova we got nobody again  
US: representin kalos we still got nobody again cmon  
US: representin alola we got yours truly  
US: hai  
US: an marsh  
US: whos tryin to keep a low profile so fair  
DD: okay great and we’ve got nobody from galar either.  
downUndertaker [DU] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
DD: aw shit spoke too soon.  
DU: …  
DU: Bloody hell  
DU: *ahem*  
DU: Pray silence for His Majesty Bignoggin Calyrex or whatever  
OG: Noooo  
US: f  
mistyGreensward [MG] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
MG: {| Spectrier I expect you to take this seriously  
MG:  
MG:  
MG: {| @wonkyWindlass Why do I not have moderator powers in this memo  
DU: I think you got shafted mate  
[ADMIN] WW: BECAUSE  
[ADMIN] WW: WE CANT TRUST YOU NOT TO BAN EVERYONE JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE IT  
MG: {| I’m insulted  
DD: you have no power here  
DD: your majesty bignoggin >:3  
POT: pfft  
MG: {| I won’t stand for this impertinence  
[MOD] BB: Calyrex, the situation is this.  
[MOD] BB: This memo is about Ash.  
[MOD] BB: It is not about yourself.  
[MOD] BB: If you expect to watch his gym battle, then I would advise you to act like the mature Pokémon you are and watch quietly.  
[MOD] BB: And this is a blanket warning for everybody else that if you continue teasing him you’ll get kicked.  
DD: yeah yeah i know.  
GO: So, um.  
MG: {| Hmph  
DU: Welp I’m off  
MG: {| Stay exactly where you are Spectrier  
DU: Nah  
downUndertaker [DU] fled the memo.  
GO: @dantesNferno Do you know what this gym’s five-badge team is?  
DN: Yes.  
DN: Tangela, Weepinbell, Vileplume.  
US: finally somethin free of bulushit  
SU: I don’t like how you say that as if it’s a word.  
GO: What do you mean?  
US: vermilion leader was a nutter and he just used his raichu  
US: saffron leader was a nutter and she just used an abra/kadabra  
SU: …  
SU: My brother’s use of vulgarities aside, he has a point.  
SU: I may not have been present for either of those challenges but I’ve read the recaps.  
SU: Even if Ash did learn a lesson on each of those occasions I doubt it was the one the gym intended him to learn.  
GO: …I didn’t think of that, but yeah.  
[ADMIN] WW: OH I ALMOST FORGOT  
[ADMIN] WW: IM TESTING A NEW PORYBOT FUNCTION TODAY  
DD: neat!  
DD: what does it do?  
[ADMIN] WW: AT THE MOMENT  
[ADMIN] WW: UH  
[ADMIN] WW: IT DOESNT  
GO: ?  
[ADMIN] WW: BUT WHEN ITS FINISHED ITLL DESCRIBE KEY MOMENTS  
[ADMIN] WW: IN CASE YOU MISSED THEM  
[MOD] BB: That sounds helpful.  
[MOD] BB: But how are you testing it if it doesn’t work?  
[ADMIN] WW: IM TESTING THE FRAMEWORK  
[ADMIN] WW: MY BROTHER IS GOING TO BE DOING THE DESCRIPTION TODAY  
[BOT] PB: Don’t think this is going to become a regular thing. It’s not.  
POT: is that you in there boss?  
[BOT] PB: Yes. Don’t get any funny ideas.  
POT: pfft  
GO: Are we any closer to the battle starting?  
[MOD] GW: Oh!  
[MOD] GW: Yes@wonkyWindlassWeCanStartNow!  
wonkyWindlass [WW] began streaming!  
GO: Gym interior looks neat.  
SG: Indeed. A lot of work’s gone into it.  
DD: yeah.  
DD: i bet you any money ash is going to destroy it.  
[MOD] BB: What?  
DD: c’mon lugia even you know this.  
DD: ash has damaged 100% of the gyms he’s entered so far.  
US: wat  
US: no he hasnt  
DD: he set the sprinklers off in pewter.  
[MOD] BB: That’s a safety feature.  
DD: cerulean got demolished.  
OG: That was Team Rocket  
DD: amaranth burned down.  
SU: Entei did that before Ash even got there.  
BG: SHUT UP  
DD: he blew out every window in vermilion.  
US: he  
US: uh  
US: k yea ill give you that one  
DD: and from the way he said it he pretty much put the saffron leader out of commission!  
POT: pretty sure that was just a random haunter that followed him.  
[BOT] PB: You all might want to start paying attention now.  
[BOT] PB: There’s a lot being said here so I’m going to attempt to summarize.  
[BOT] PB: The Gym Leader has just explained that she runs gym challenges differently to others Ash may have attended.  
[BOT] PB: If possible, she would like her challengers to use one of each evolutionary stage in their battle.  
[BOT] PB: This is her gym’s secondary challenge.  
[BOT] PB: In order to earn the Rainbow Badge, Ash must show understanding of his Pokémon’s growth, and defeat at least two of her Pokémon.  
[BOT] PB: Using nothing but overwhelming force will reflect on him poorly.  
[BOT] PB: Ash accepted her terms.  
DD: ok.  
DD: that’s different.  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: You’re right, that is different.  
GO: But definitely something worth learning!  
DN: So it’s not so much of a ‘secret’ challenge here as opposed to being an assessment of sorts.  
POT: oh yeah this should be good.  
POT: i mean i’ve been much further into the future than this already so i know he gets gud but i don’t know how *early* he got gud.  
DD: so let’s see…  
DD: that means he’s pretty much got to use butterfree!  
DN: Butterfree, either Pidgeotto or Pikachu, and then free pick from the others.  
SU: But… didn’t he catch a Primeape recently?  
DN: Yes.  
DN: However, Primeape (and Eevee) are currently at Professor Oak’s.  
SU: Okay. Good to know.  
MG: {| Charmander, Pidgeotto, Butterfree  
MG: {| That is what he will use  
DD: k look calyrex you can’t do that.  
MG: {| I can and I will  
[MOD] NM: We Will Reiterate , Calyrex .  
[MOD] NM: Giving Spoilers Like That Counts As Not Watching Quietly .  
MG: {| Hmph  
[BOT] PB: Battle begins. Leader sends out Tangela. Ash sends out Pidgeotto.  
GO: Here we go!  
OG: That’s a start and a half  
SU: Hmm.  
POT: pretty sure that tangela’s gonna set down roots.  
POT: yep!  
GO: Yeah, Tangela do that.  
SU: Wasn’t Pidgeotto one of his first Pokémon?  
DD: his third, yeah.  
DD: butterfree was his second.  
SU: So he’s had plenty of time to observe their growth.  
DD: us too!  
DD: we watched them at cerulean?  
DN: Yes, but Erika probably won’t know what happened in that battle.  
DN: She has to observe Ash understanding his Pokémon as-is.  
[MOD] BB: Good use of Sand Attack to escape.  
SG: I see.  
SG: He must have preprepared that tactic.  
US: wat  
SG: He had Pidgeotto scoop up some dirt from the floor in her talons before taking off.  
GO: Oh!  
GO: Mew, remember the guy with that Sandshrew?  
GO: Ash isn’t underestimating Tangela just because it’s groundbound!  
DD: ooh!  
DD: yeah, you’re right!  
OG: Oh yeah  
GO: Powder move!  
SU: Stun Spore. Standard tactic.  
GO: o.o  
OG: Ha take that  
DN: So.  
DN: He’s taken ownership on that practice, then.  
[MOD] BB: He did that before?  
DN: At Cerulean.  
DN: He had Pidgeotto use Whirlwind on the pool to remove Misty’s advantage.  
US: no powder in the air no problem  
DN: The leader’s not going to try that again, at least not while Pidgeotto’s out.  
SU: Vine Whip tether again?  
SG: I think the leader worked it out, just like I did.  
SG: No fuel for the Sand Attack this t  
DD: YIKES  
POT: :o  
US: yoink  
GO: WOW!  
[BOT] PB: Matchup 1 victory to Pidgeotto.  
[BOT] PB: Knockout cause: Impact (gravity).  
OG: I’m remembering that  
OG: Don’t know who I’m remembering it for but I’ll remember that  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: I’m not entirely sure anybody was ready for that.  
[MOD] BB: Least of all Pidgeotto.  
SG: It was a tactic that can only work if it was on-the-fly, I think.  
US: hey  
US: bad puns are my job  
SG: …  
SG: Oh, damn it.  
DD: rofl  
US: hey mods  
US: youre obligated to kick her now  
[MOD] BB: No.  
[BOT] PB: Pidgeotto withdrawn.  
GO: Bad puns aside, I wonder if Ash knew that Pidgeotto would be able to lift Tangela off the ground like that?  
GO: Tangela are pretty heavy.  
DN: Don’t forget that despite being birds, Pidgeotto as a species are fairly heavy as well.  
GO: I’ll take your word for it.  
OG: Well  
OG: There was this thing the other day  
OG: Ash said Pidgeotto was training by lifting Brock’s Geodude  
GO: I must have missed that.  
[BOT] PB: Leader sends out Weepinbell.  
US: time for round 2  
SG: Hmm.  
SG: Oh.  
SG: That’s better.  
[BOT] PB: Ash sends out Charmander.  
DD: what?  
SG: Ash asked Charmander whether he wanted to battle before sending him out.  
DD: should’ve figured you’d start paying attention more when charmander came out!  
SG: I’m simply being aware of Charmander’s state.  
SU: Considering there’s about to be f  
SU: Considering there *is* fire, I hope Ash is aware that the environment is just as flammable.  
GO: Considering it’s a Grass-type gym, I’d hope that the gym leader’s well prepared for fires!  
POT: oh! oh! i’ve seen this before!  
POT: charmander’s going to do this thing where he acts like he’s going to use ember but uses dragon breath instead!  
SG: *What.*  
DD: oh yeah.  
DD: i forgot to tell you and gloat about it.  
DD: whoops!  
SU: My goodness.  
US: yikes  
GO: Well, from the looks of things, Charmander wasn’t expecting Dragon Breath either!  
OG: Wow that leader’s face  
OG: She didn’t see it coming  
POT: well, guess i know now how that started!  
MG: {| I knew it was coming  
POT: i knew it first!  
MG: {| No you didn’t  
MG: {| I’ve known that was going to happen since the beginning of the battle  
POT: well then.  
POT: i win, seeing as i’ve known about it for 40 years!  
[MOD] BB: Celebi, Calyrex, stop flexing.  
DD: yeah!  
DD: don’t want that brain to explode!  
[MOD] BB: *MEW*.  
OG: Shit it knows Poison Jab  
SG: This could be bad.  
GO: Hopefully by this point Charmander can take a little poison, but yeah.  
SG: As long as  
OG: Whoa  
US: double yikes  
DD: what???  
SG:  
SG:  
SG: Did  
SG: Did Charmander just do what I think he did?  
SU: Intentionally catch one of the jabs unprompted so Weepinbell couldn’t dodge an Ember to the face?  
SU: Yes.  
POT: i don’t think ash expected that!  
SG: …We’ve already reached determination, then.  
[MOD] BB: I don’t think you’re giving Ash or Charmander enough credit, Virizion.  
[MOD] BB: I’m not saying you should completely step back from keeping an eye on them, but you probably shouldn’t micromanage.  
SG: I’m just doing what I’d be doing with any abused Pokémon.  
SG: I’m not giving Ash special treatment just because of who he is.  
DD: well, charmander’s now poisoned…  
GO: True, but Weepinbell isn’t looking so hot either!  
GO: Or, rather, it’s plenty hot, um…  
US: hoi  
US: whatd i *just* say about bad puns  
GO: Haha! :D  
DD: LOL  
OG: LOL  
US: what is it about this match i swear  
US: so many good opportunities and youre takin em all  
[BOT] PB: Matchup 2 declared a tie.  
[BOT] PB: Forfeit cause - Weepinbell: Status (burn). Forfeit cause - Charmander: Status (poison).  
POT: you’re doing a great bot impersonation, boss!  
[ADMIN] WW: I ASKED HIM TO DO THAT  
[ADMIN] WW: IS IT HELPING  
[MOD] BB: I think so.  
[MOD] BB: Can I just ask, if the bot function itself isn’t working, why not simply have Dialga in the channel properly doing the same thing?  
[ADMIN] WW: PORYBOTS MESSAGES STAND OUT MORE  
[MOD] BB: Makes sense, okay.  
POT: !blastoff  
[BOT] PB: Yana kanji!  
[BOT] PB: Celebi, don’t.  
[BOT] PB: Just don’t.  
POT: w h e e z e  
DD: oh, that’s not been fixed yet?  
[ADMIN] WW: FIXED  
[ADMIN] WW: WHATS BROKEN  
DD: uh  
GO: Um, anyway…  
GO: So now we’re going to get a chance to see how Ash has actually gotten on with Butterfree.  
GO: As opposed to what happened the first time in Saffron.  
DD: release the demon!  
[MOD] BB: Why *do* you call him a demon?  
DD: well hopefully if ash gets this right you’ll see!  
[BOT] PB: Leader sends out Vileplume. Ash sends out Butterfree.  
DN: I know the leader requested he use a third-stage evolution Pokémon, but I’m concerned that Butterfree doesn’t have a particular advantage here.  
DN: No powder move tactic is going to work on a Vileplume.  
[MOD] BB: All that means is he’s going to have to think carefully.  
OG: Bah  
OG: Ash makes mistakes when he thinks things through too much  
OG: Zap em then whack em  
DD: are you channeling zapdos?  
OG: Nah but freeze em then whack em doesn’t roll off the tongue as nice  
US: freeze em and cheese em  
OG: That’s worse  
GO: Whoa!  
POT: nice!  
DD: oh great!  
DD: he *finally* got that working!  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: Okay, I see your point.  
US: butterflies with frickin lazer beams  
SU: Psybeams, but yes.  
OG: Crap are we gonna get Yan in here claiming copyright  
DD: oh!  
DD: and vileplume is part poison-type, isn’t it!  
GO: It very much is!  
SG: Oh, shit.  
SU: What?  
swordBravo [SB] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave swordBravo [SB] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] SB: *Really*, Virizion?  
[MOD] SB: No wonder you’re so distracted.  
[MOD] BB: Cobalion, give her a break.  
[MOD] SB: We’ve no time for breaks at the moment.  
[MOD] SB: We’re *trying* to work.  
MG: {| If Cobalion gets moderator powers I demand to be given mine as well  
DD: can you guys just shut up?!  
GO: Wait, what move’s that?  
POT: uh  
POT: oh, it’s moonlight.  
POT: lunala uses it a lot.  
POT: basically undoing what butterfree just did.  
[ADMIN] WW: ALLOW HER TO WATCH THE REST OF THE BATTLE, COBALION  
[ADMIN] WW: THEN YOU CAN HAVE HER BACK  
[MOD] SB: I won’t allow her to set a bad precedent for Keldeo.  
MG: {| Well  
[MOD] BB: Last warning, Calyrex.  
SU: The same again.  
OG: We’re watching a butterfly blast laser beams at a giant flower  
OG: This is awesome  
SG: Actually, I’m certain that Keldeo could learn a thing or two about tactics from watching these battles.  
[MOD] SB: ABSOLUTELY NOT  
swordBravo [SB] banned scimitarGamma [SG] from the memo. (Reason: NO)  
[MOD] BB: What was that in aid of?!  
MG: {| Giratina  
MG: {| Give me my powers this instant  
[ADMIN] WW: UH  
[ADMIN] WW: DIALGA HELP  
[BOT] PB: Oh for the love of  
doctorWhom [DW] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave doctorWhom [DW] the ‘administrator’ role.  
[ADMIN] DW: !unmod swordBravo  
[BOT] PB: Automatic moderator role removed.  
poryBot [PB] removed the ‘moderator’ role from swordBravo [SB].  
doctorWhom [DW] banned mistyGreensward [MG] from responding to memo.  
doctorWhom [DW] unbanned scimitarGamma [SG].  
doctorWhom [DW] forcibly added scimitarGamma [SG] to the memo.  
SB: Dialga!  
[ADMIN] DW: You’ll allow her to finish watching.  
doctorWhom [DW] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] WW: THANKS  
SB:  
SB:  
SB: Fine.  
swordBravo [SB] fled the memo.  
GO: Yeesh.  
SU: Can we get back to the battle now?  
DD: um, yeah.  
SU: I’m fairly certain that Vileplume has Mega Drain going on as well.  
SU: If this repeating pattern keeps up, Butterfree isn’t going to have enough energy left to fight.  
DD: …  
DD: something weird’s going on.  
GO: What?  
DD: i’m on the roof, looking in through the big windows.  
DD: it almost feels like the air’s kind of…  
DD: charged?  
DD: it feels familiar from somewhere but i can’t remember what move it is for the life of me.  
POT: :o  
POT: :o!!!!!!!!!  
US: fuck celebi knows somethin  
[MOD] BB: …Is it just me, or is that Moonlight not going away?  
DN: It’s not just you.  
DN: It’s  
DN: Wait  
DN: NO  
DN: YOU’RE KIDDING ME  
OG: What  
OG: What is it  
POT: YES  
DD: WHAT THE FUCK  
[MOD] CW: what  
GO: HOLY SHIT  
SU: WHAT  
US: FUCKING LAZER BEAMS  
SG:  
DD: DEMON  
[MOD] GW: WasNotExpectingThat!!!  
[MOD] BB:  
OG: What  
OG: What happened  
[MOD] NM: Giratina Help I’m Blind !  
[MOD] GW: YoureNotBlind!  
[MOD] GW: YouDidntEvenHaveYourEyesOpen!  
POT: i thought that was it but i couldn’t be sure!  
[BOT] PB: Um, well.  
[BOT] PB: Matchup 3 victory to Butterfree.  
[BOT] PB: Knockout cause: Solar Beam.  
DD: that’s what it was!  
DD: butterfree was using all the light from the moonlight to charge up solar beam!  
GO: That’s just…  
GO: I’m blown away. That’s stunning.  
BG: Why is it raining glass  
DD: shit brb  
POT: i was told that butterfree learned solar beam in a very explosive way!  
POT: didn’t think it would be *here*!  
[BOT] PB: Ash has won the battle and fulfilled the leader’s criteria.  
OG: But  
OG: Isn’t Solar Beam a Grass-type move  
SU: It is.  
SU: However, it had been boosted by several successive Moonlights, and the heat ignited the pollen that Vileplume naturally produce.  
SG: That would go some way towards explaining why some parts of the gym are also on fire.  
POT: well i’m not surprised he won with that!  
POT: if learning a new move mid-battle doesn’t count as growing i don’t know what does!  
DN: I confess that Ash did ask me what Pokémon Erika was likely to use.  
DN: As it was publicly available information, I obliged.  
DN: But he never mentioned anything about his strategy.  
US: i dont think ash has a strategy  
US: also um  
US: are we still callin it a solar beam  
US: or was it more like a lunar beam  
[MOD] BB: I think if you start calling it a Lunar Beam Cresselia and Lunala are going to get very unhappy.  
US: eh w/e  
US: it was definitely enlightening though  
DD: guardians?  
[MOD] NM: Yes ?  
[MOD] GW: Yes?  
[MOD] CW: yes  
DD: sic ‘em.  
gallimaufryWheeze [GW] kicked unabatedStimulus [US] from the memo. (Reason: IAppreciateAGoodPunButThatWasAwful!)  
notaryMemento [NM] rekicked unabatedStimulus [US] from the memo. (Reason: Your Puns Are Bad And You Should Feel Bad .)  
counterweightWillow [CW] rerekicked unabatedStimulus [US] from the memo. (Reason: i thought you were out of (material))  
SG: You may as well kick me for my pun earlier as well.  
SG: Cobalion looks as though he’s about to start frothing at the mouth.  
GO: Bye Virizion!  
beastieBirb [BB] kicked scimitarGamma [SG] from the memo. (Reason: User request. And a bad pun.)  
wonkyWindlass [WW] kicked grassrootsOptimism [GO] from the memo. (Reason: ALSO BAD PUNS)  
grassrootsOptimism [GO] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
[ADMIN] WW: SORRY I WANTED TO JOIN IN  
GO: Okay yeah I guess I deserved one too haha!  
[MOD] BB: Okay, Mew.  
[MOD] BB: I guess you were right.  
[MOD] BB: Ash has destroyed the gym.  
BG: She’s busy catching lots of falling glass  
SU: Exploded the windows *and* set the place on fire.  
SU: With a Bug/Flying type, no less.  
OG: Butterfree OP nerf plz  
GO: …  
GO: It’s still on fire.  
GO: What’s he doing?  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: ASH NO

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: rainbow badge get!  
[BOT] PB: Da-da-da-do!  
[MOD] BB: ASH.  
UT: uh  
UT: what?  
[MOD] BB: You deliberately remained in a burning building!  
[MOD] BB: What on Earth were you thinking?!  
UT: look it was my fault the gym was on fire and erika’s gloom was stuck in there!  
UT: besides!  
UT: i had squirtle with me!  
UT: i knew what i was doing!  
OG: Doubt  
[MOD] BB: That was still reckless.  
[MOD] BB: You should know better than that.  
OG: But grats anyway  
GO: Yeah, congratulations!  
DD: big grats!  
SU: I admit I haven’t seen a battle like that in quite some time.  
UT: thanks!  
UT: it felt great having a big battle again too.  
DN: Did you…  
DN: Did you plan for most of that?  
UT: honestly?  
UT: no!  
UT: i mean the stuff with pidgeotto yeah, brock was helping me with that stuff.  
UT: but i didn’t expect charmander to do that thing where he caught Weepinbell.  
GO: And the Solar Beam?  
UT: not at first?  
UT: i mean since i knew she’d be sending out vileplume i left butterfree for last, because psychic stuff.  
UT: we sorted out psybeam in the middle of last week.  
UT: but i think butterfree worked it out first, and then…  
UT: i dunno, it’s like i just knew he could do it.  
UT: um, mew explained to me that some of you guys can talk to humans through psychic stuff, but can all psychic pokémon do that?  
[MOD] BB: No.  
[MOD] BB: Powerful Psychic-types, like Alakazam, yes.  
[MOD] BB: But certainly not a Butterfree.  
[MOD] BB: …Ash, can you promise me something?  
UT: what?  
[MOD] BB: Can you not run into burning buildings again?  
UT: i’ll try not to!  
UT: i don’t plan on using butterfree at the next gym anyway.  
GO: What is the next gym?  
DN: Fuchsia City. Poison-type.  
GO: Oooh.  
UT: i mean it’d be an advantage, but i kinda want to spread out the battles a bit more?  
UT: butterfree and pidgeotto have had lots of gym experience but i haven’t had a chance to use squirtle yet.  
OG: Or Primeape  
UT: and… yeah.  
UT: hopefully by the time we get there i’ll get him under control!  
UT: we’re spending a couple of weeks here in celadon and then it’ll be a few more until we reach fuchsia.  
UT: um…  
UT: is it okay to ask @outtatime if i *do* get primeape under control?  
BG: Oh no  
future outtaTime [FOT] 1 YEAR FROM NOW responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
FOT: hiya!  
[MOD] BB: I think that would be too much of a self-fulfilling prophecy.  
[MOD] BB: If Celebi were to tell you that you weren’t able to get him under control, you wouldn’t put as much effort into it.  
UT: oh that’s right…  
FOT: he totally does though.  
FOT: just bring loads of tissues.  
[MOD] BB: CELEBI!  
FOT: ;)  
future outtaTime [FOT] fled the memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended by rewriting this battle from the ground up, because so many factors mean that the original plot of the episode just isn’t there.
> 
> 1: Erika’s relaxed, laid-back game personality as opposed to her angry anime one.  
> 2: Ash bloodied his nose in the previous episode which means he literally *can’t* offer any opinions on the perfume.  
> 3: Ash isn’t basing his entire worldview of girls on Misty so he's not outright rude.  
> 4: No Team Rocket intervention since they’re still scared of Giovanni.  
> 5: Ash is challenging Erika for his sixth badge, not his fifth, which means… no Gloom, or at least, not part of the battle. Conveniently this means Gloom doesn’t get twice the amount of exposure since it gets another episode of its own at the end of the season. Double conveniently, Tangela/Weepinbell/Vileplume is Erika’s LGPE team. Ash still rescues Erika’s Gloom behind-the-scenes because it’s a lesson he can remember (much) later with Muk.
> 
> So, yep. Erika’s challenge is once again shamelessly pillaged from Ashes of the Past, Calyrex and Cobalion are the stop having fun guys, and Tapu Koko is upset that his territory’s being trodden on. No joke: I wrote those lines before even realizing they were puns. And yes, it’s amazing how much damage you can do with one damn butterfly.


	38. Episode 38 (Rolling Like a Voltorb)

WD: No.  
WD: Absolutely not.  
DD: but palkia!  
WD: No!  
WD: Mew, I will put it to you flatly.  
WD: If you expect to continue being able to watch and discuss Ash’s journey, you will *not* enter the Rocket hideout when Ash locates it.  
WD: No ifs, buts, or exceptions.  
WD: This isn’t a question of capability. Ash is…  
WD: Well, thanks to the four of you, he’s a mobile wrecking ball.  
WD: Frankly, if it were me, I’d be calling in the police, but given the level of Rocket activity you described at the Silph Company building in Saffron, doing that probably isn’t such a good idea.  
WD: Not least to mention the fact that Ash is only a ten-year-old and unlikely to be believed, even if he is backed up by two gym leaders.  
WD: I don’t even know how he plans to find the base in the first place.  
DD: me, ash and azelf had a brainstorming session earlier in specially dangerous mission.  
DD: he plans to wait for jessie, james and meowth to turn up and then follow them.  
WD: It’s sad that that plan’s probably going to work…  
DD: apparently pikachu’s willing bait.  
WD: How has he justified what he’s doing to Misty and Brock?  
DD: oh that was really easy!  
DD: we found some stuff about cubone and marowak at silph co.  
DD: there was some guy named archer who’s in charge.  
DD: you should’ve seen the look on his face when ash and sorrel barged in!  
WD: Okay then.  
WD: How does he plan on returning Cubone and Marowak to their habitat?  
DD: oh, that part’s easy too.  
DD: he just takes them to a pokémon center and explains.  
DD: we were planning a whole bit where he’d pass them off to ‘one of my friends who’s shy’ who would actually just be suicune but we realized there was no way to pull that off without it seeming super shady.  
WD: That, at least, is sensible.  
DD: sensible, yeah.  
DD: also *boring*, but w/e.

* * *

[MOD] TM: Ah. A gambling establishment.  
[MOD] TM: Clever.  
MU: How is that clever?  
[MOD] TM: Refuge in audacity.  
[MOD] TM: No criminal organization could possibly be stupid enough to have a hideout under a business that likely gets regular police callouts.  
DD: dammit, i want to see if they’ve got pacman in there.  
OG: This is Team Rocket we’re talking about  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: I stand corrected.

* * *

UT: why do voltorb look like pokéballs?!  
[MOD] TM: Cause and effect, Ash.  
[MOD] TM: Voltorb came first.  
TT: did you try to throw one  
UT: …maybe?

* * *

DD: five…  
[ADMIN] WD: What?  
DD: i’m counting how many sewer grates in the area explode.  
DD: pretty sure that’s pikachu down there.

* * *

UT: does anybody know how to get a cubone to stop crying???

* * *

[ADMIN] WD: You did the right thing in contacting the Pokémon Center.  
[ADMIN] WD: Short of going back to the other side of Saffron yourself, there wasn’t really any other choice.  
DD: did you say archer was down there?  
UT: oh yeah.  
UT: he really wasn’t happy to see me!  
UT: and he thought that because sorrel and lucario weren’t with me i’d be easy to beat.  
TT: big mistake  
UT: we did this really funny thing where he’d try to gloat about team rocket but squirtle and misty’s staryu kept interrupting him by blasting him in the face with water.  
DD: pfft  
TT: lol  
UT: he did get away but he was very wet.  
US: did you tell him to cool off  
UT: no, but i wish i did now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we wrap up the Cubone storyline from earlier. Archer is the Team Rocket Admin featured prominently in the Let's Go Games, here elevated to 'head of Kanto operations' so Ash never actually meets Giovanni. This isn't the last we see of him, I fear.
> 
> I considered at one point having Cubone join somebody's team here, more specifically Brock's. I only really decided against it for three reasons: One, the next episode is a relocated Pokémon Fashion Flash which is where he gets Vulpix, two, it would mean taking it even futher out of its habitat, and three, it would fill the 'crybaby Pokémon slot' that needs to remain empty for Togepi later on.
> 
> Also Voltorbs = Voltorb Flip, aka the minigame that replaced the Game Corner slot machines in LGPE because of international gambling laws.


	39. Episode 39 (Pokémon Fashion Flash)

DS: oh cool  
DS: i didnt know kanto had its own contest circuit!  
UB: It doesn’t, not yet.  
UB: We were told they’re still planning things out and it won’t be up and running for a few years at least.  
DS: darn  
TW: they have them in Sinnoh then?  
DS: yep!  
DS: hoenn too  
DS: dont know about other places  
[MOD] NN: zZz Not in Kalos zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz At least not that Ive noticed zZz  
unassumingBoulder [UB] uploaded file "vulpix.jpg".  
DS: awww!  
DS: who caught the vulpix  
UB: Another breeder named Suzy has asked me to look after her (the Vulpix) while she (Suzy) travels the world with her Furfrou.  
UB: It’s my personal challenge to keep Vulpix in #1 condition for when we meet again!  
TW: if it wasn’t a fire-type I’d want one.  
TW: it’s so adorable.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Vulpix from Alola are Ice-type zZz  
TW:  
TW:  
TW: why are all the best Pokémon from everywhere other than Kanto!  
DS: your starmies from kanto  
TW:  
TW:  
TW: yes okay shut up!  
wonkyWindlass [WW] joined [Camp Clearing].  
poryBot [PB] gave wonkyWindlass [WW] the ‘administrator’ role.  
[ADMIN] WW: OH SORRY I DIDNT REALISE YOU WERE USING THE ROOM RIGHT NOW  
UB: Oh, are you one of Ash’s other friends?  
[ADMIN] WW: UM  
[ADMIN] WW: YES  
TW: geez calm down captain capslock!  
[MOD] NN: zZz Its just his quirk zZz  
TW: oh.  
[ADMIN] WW: SORRY I CANT REALLY TURN IT DOWN  
[ADMIN] WW: UM  
[ADMIN] WW: IM REALLY SORRY BUT I NEED TO REFRESH THE ROOM SETTINGS  
[ADMIN] WW: AND UPDATE PORYBOT  
UB: Oh, right, you’re the one who made this system.  
UB: I remember Ash telling us.  
TW: oh yeah.  
[ADMIN] WW: THATS ME  
[ADMIN] WW: HOWS IT WORKING FOR YOU SO FAR  
DS: its great!  
UB: It’s certainly easier than long phone conversations.  
DS: dont forget cheaper  
[ADMIN] WW: THATS GOOD TO HEAR  
[ADMIN] WW: SORRY COULD I ASK YOU TO LEAVE THE MEMO FOR THE MOMENT  
[ADMIN] WW: IT WONT TAKE MORE THAN A FEW MINUTES  
doodleStarly [DS] fled the memo.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Does that include me zZz  
[ADMIN] WW: PLEASE  
unassumingBoulder [UB] fled the memo.  
neverNadir [NN] fled the memo.  
tropicalWaterfall [TW] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] WW: OKAY  
[ADMIN] WW: ~MEMO_LOCK=REFRESHING ROOM SETTINGS*DEACLOG  
[BOT] PB: Memo [Camp Clearing] locked. (Reason: REFRESHING ROOM SETTINGS)  
SYSTEM: Logging deactivated. (Reason: Room locked.)  
[ADMIN] WW: ~BOT_UNLOAD  
[BOT] PB: poryBot v2.12 unloading.  
poryBot [PB] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] WW: #USERLIST_CHECK  
SYSTEM: Administrators: [4] *theOne *doctorWhom *walkaboutDistributor *wonkyWindlass  
SYSTEM: Moderators: [3] *neverNadir *twiceMulticolored *tenaciousNova  
SYSTEM: Members: [5] *ultimateTrainer *unassumingBoulder *tropicalWaterfall *mythicWysteria *doodleStarly  
SYSTEM: Guests: [0]  
SYSTEM: Blocked Users: [64]  
[ADMIN] WW: THOUGHT SO  
[ADMIN] WW: #USERLIST_HARDBLOCK_USR_TN  
SYSTEM: User *tenaciousNova added to Blocked User list.  
[ADMIN] WW: #USERLIST_CHECK  
SYSTEM: Administrators: [4] *theOne *doctorWhom *walkaboutDistributor *wonkyWindlass  
SYSTEM: Moderators: [2] *neverNadir *twiceMulticolored  
SYSTEM: Members: [5] *ultimateTrainer *unassumingBoulder *tropicalWaterfall *mythicWysteria *doodleStarly  
SYSTEM: Guests: [0]  
SYSTEM: Blocked Users: [65]  
[ADMIN] WW: THERE WE GO  
[ADMIN] WW: NICE TRY LATIAS  
[ADMIN] WW: #ROOM_REFRESH  
SYSTEM: Room refreshing…  
SYSTEM: Room refreshed. No errors found.  
SYSTEM: Message of the Day: Ash owes Misty a bike. -TM  
poryBot [PB] joined [Camp Clearing].  
poryBot [PB] assigned itself the ‘bot’ role.  
[BOT] PB: poryBot v2.2 initialized.  
[ADMIN] WW: ~MEMO_UNLOCK*REACLOG  
SYSTEM: Logging reactivated. (Reason: Room unlocked.)  
[BOT] PB: Memo [Camp Clearing] unlocked.  
[ADMIN] WW: @ALL ROOM REFRESHED  
[ADMIN] WW: THANK YOU  
wonkyWindlass [WW] fled the memo.

* * *

TN: wh  
TN: crap.  
NT: What is it now?  
TN: giratina found the hole in system security that i was exploiting and kicked me back out of the secret memo.  
NT: And this is surprising… why?  
NT: Remind me who was the one gloating about it in the public Hoenn memo?  
NT: And who laughed in Rayquaza’s face when he pointed out he was there?  
TN: me.  
NT: You.  
TN: eh whatever.  
TN: i’ve still got some tricks up my metaphorical sleeves.  
TN: he may have patched the vulnerability, but my tool will find me another!  
TN: his secrets will be mine!  
wonkyWindlass [WW] barged into the conversation!  
WW: NO THEY WONT  
wonkyWindlass [WW] fled the conversation.  
TN:  
TN:  
TN: shit!  
NT: Tool busted?  
TN: tool busted.  
TN: guess that means it’s time to make a new one!  
TN: i’ll get into that memo, just watch!  
TN: and while i’m at it, i’ll get around that ban i’ve got from the ash memo!  
NT: How are we related again?  
TN: you’re just jelly that i got all the smarts.  
NT: I guess that means I got the looks.  
NT: Can’t have it both ways, Latias.  
TN: fuck you latios, i’m adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Legendtrapped characterized Latias as the resident computer hacker. She’s still doing it even though there sort of aren’t really computers any more, just less successfully. She doesn’t know what this memo is, all she knows is that she’s blocked from it and she wants in. But she’s not getting it.
> 
> Meanwhile, Pokémon Contests are a thing. This seemed like the perfect episode to introduce the concept. The Kanto circuit’s not here yet, but it will be by the time Ash comes back with May in tow.


	40. Episode 40 (Wake Up Snorlax)

crystallineSlush [CS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
[MOD] TM: Everything get sorted out okay?  
CS: Yes, thank you, father.  
CS: Cubone and Marowak are safely back home.  
CS: I was scared they wouldn’t accept my apologies.  
CS: Did everything with Ash end okay?  
DD: yeah, the snorlax is sorted, the town has food again, everything’s super cozy.  
DD: oh, and charmander’s back from oak’s.  
CS: Already?  
[MOD] TM: Yes, he had…  
[MOD] TM: I believe it’s separation anxiety.  
[MOD] TM: He got back and refused to stop hugging Ash’s leg for half an hour.  
CS: Oof.  
CS: I suppose what I saw in the gym battle replay wasn’t enough for him to assert full independence yet.  
[MOD] TM: It’s still more than we could have hoped for, given the circumstances.  
[MOD] TM: Regardless, Ash’s focus is going to be on Primeape for now.  
DD: primeape who is just a big stroppy anger ball at the moment.  
DD: i’ve done some tactical eavesdropping!  
OG: Which means she turned into a Pidgey, got too close and was punched in the face  
DD: irrelevant!  
DD: anyway.  
DD: it goes kinda like this:  
DD: *ahem*  
DD: RAWR THIS HUMAN’S TOO WEAK HE’S NOT USING ME TO MY FULL POTENTIAL AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO USE ME PROPERLY  
DD: HE’S NOT GOING TO LEARN ANYTHING UNLESS I SHOW HIM  
DD: TAKE THIS BIRD  
DD: and then he punched me in the face.  
[MOD] TM: I have the feeling that Ash is picking the wrong opponents for Primeape.  
[MOD] TM: He’s trying to spread battle experience around, and that works for the others.  
CS: …but Primeape doesn’t feel Ash is going to learn anything from sending him out against just anyone.  
[MOD] TM: Exactly.  
DD: the fact that ash fell over a lot just before capturing primeape *probably* isn’t helping.  
DD: it was hella funny though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is just filler. Suicune's finally back, we get confirmation that the Cubone arc has properly concluded, and Primeape lays things bare.
> 
> I imagine that's what tantrum!Primeape would be thinking about Ash, anyway.


	41. Episode 41 (Hypno's Naptime)

UT: ok.   
UT: kids are missing and local pokémon are getting tired.   
UT: officer jenny is tracking sleep waves.   
GO: I guess that explains why Mew left for a nap mid-sentence earlier.   
UT: any suggestions?   
TD: Sounds like broadcasted hypnosis to me.   
TD: You’re looking for a powerful Psychic-type, probably up somewhere high.   
UT: great.   
UT: we still don’t have any dark-types with us and if it’s this powerful then litwick probably can’t help so we’ll probably just have to ask nicely.   
UT: or shout.   
UT: or punch somebody.   
UT: um.   
UT: cresselia?   
UT: is it normal that i *really* want to punch somebody right now?   
TD: Definitely not!   
TD: @sevenStar Are you influencing Ash again?   
SS: no   
TD: Hm.   
TD: Ash, I’m warning you right now, if you feel like this at a considerable distance from its source, at the source itself it’s going to be unbearable.   
TD: If you’re having urges to commit physical violence now, just imagine what you’ll do closer.   
TD: Stay at a safe distance.   
TD: Further away, if possible.   
UT: brock and misty are fine!   
TD: Brock and Misty are neither you nor carrying a mythical in their shadow.   
UT: oh, right…   
UT: yeah i guess i’d better leave this to them.   
UT: brb   
GO: Marshadow, are you feeling the effects as well?   
SS: no   
SS: but im in ashs shadow   
TD: I still wouldn’t expose him to the source.   
SS: id be fine   
TD: Would you?   
SS: yes   
TD: *Would you.*   
SS: yes   
TD: Marshadow.   
SS: ok probably not   
GO: Cresselia…   
GO: You don’t think this is because of…   
GO: Well, that thing we’re not allowed to talk about?   
TD: Possibly.   
TD: But I’d like to consider something else.   
TD: I read how Ash described, in the Celadon Gym, that he ‘just knew’ that Butterfree had learned Solar Beam?   
TD: It wouldn’t surprise me if - in fact, I’d expect, after that - Ash is slightly more psychic-sensitive than normal.   
UT: is that a thing?   
UT: so could i actually do psychic stuff?   
TD: Being psychic-sensitive and actually being a psychic are two very different things.   
TD: It’s like if your phone could only receive images, as opposed to being able to transmit and receive both images and audio.   
TD: Are you retreating to a safe distance?   
UT: i’m back in the pokémon center.   
TD: Good.   
UT: it doesn’t feel right though.   
UT: inside, i mean.   
UT: i feel like i should be out there helping.   
TD: This is another lesson to learn.   
TD: You could very well throw your weight into helping, but if you’re incapacitated before you even begin, it would be pointless.   
UT: i guess.   
UT: i can’t sit still and i still kind of want to hit someone though.   
TD: Okay. There’s something I can try.   
TD: This would work much better if I were actually there and you could hear me, but we’ll try it regardless.   
TD: When I say, I want you to close your eyes, and focus on breathing.   
TD: Count to eight as you breathe in, and again as you breathe out.   
TD: Picture the alien thought, know it is an alien thought, and separate it from your own thoughts.   
TD: It is not yours, it does not belong, and it is not wanted.   
TD: If it helps, picture a happy thought to focus on, like when you met your Pikachu.   
TD: Do you understand?   
UT: yeah.   
TD: Good.   
TD: Close your eyes.

* * *

unassumingBoulder [UB] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

UB: Your friend was right.   
UB: It was a Hypno on top of a building.   
UB: It should be safe now.   
UT: thanks!   
UB: Officer Jenny and I are on our way to find the missing kids!   
UT: great!   
UT: …   
UT: what about misty?   
UB: Don’t ask.

unassumingBoulder [UB] stopped pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

* * *

[MOD] BB: I’m so sorry.  
[MOD] BB: The birds started acting up and I had to intervene.  
[MOD] BB: Again.  
TD: You’ve nothing to be sorry for, Lugia.  
TD: Everything is fine now.  
GO: Well, Mew’s probably still napping, but she’ll wake up eventually.  
UT: brock and misty sorted out the hypno causing everything, found the missing kids, and they’re sorting out the sleepy pokémon now.  
UT: and i feel really great!  
UT: better than great!  
[MOD] BB: From the looks of things I missed something important.  
GO: Well, by Ash standards, this was actually a quiet day!  
UT: haha yeah!  
UT: can i just ask though, if the hypno was making the other kids think they were pokémon, what was it doing to me?  
[MOD] BB: What.  
TD: I can think of two possibilities.  
TD: One (1). You have a mythical Fighting-type in your shadow, and that was somehow affecting you.  
SS: dont blame this on me  
TD: I’m not.  
TD: Two (2). You’ve been focused a lot on trying to train Primeape the last few days.  
TD: I’d wager your subconscious is still very much keeping Primeape in mind, and that gave the hypnotic waves something to latch on to.  
UT: that makes a lot of sense actually!  
GO: Thank goodness you didn’t actually start thinking you were Primeape, though.  
UT: hehe  
UT: nurse joy said she came back into the room and found me just humming, with pikachu normally asleep on my lap.  
UT: i must’ve just fallen asleep too because i woke up when brock texted me.  
UT: i’m gonna go join him and misty. thanks again cresselia!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: Why am I only just realizing that Ash is like this all the time?  
SS: this is all your fault

* * *

tropicalWaterfall [TW] began pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].

TW: is it okay if I vent?   
TM: Vent away.   
TW: so for some reason I have a Psyduck now.   
TW: the stupid thing caught itself!   
TW: and even though Brock said he would take it, he passed it off onto me!   
TW: it doesn’t even understand anything I say to it!   
TM: I see.   
TM: I confess I know little about Psyduck either.   
TM: Hm.   
TM: I suppose…   
TW: what?   
TM: I’ll have to ask if she’s okay with it, but I might see if I can put you in contact with my daughter.   
TM: She has more Water-type knowledge than I do.   
TW: your… daughter?   
TW: um. how old are you?   
TM: …   
TM: I think the only answer I can really give is ‘old enough to know better’…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some impromptu meditation lessons courtesy of Cresselia. Meanwhile, Brock and Misty get the episode done by themselves, because Team Rocket are wary enough of Giovanni that capturing a Hypno just so they can get some extra vacation days is too stupid even for them.
> 
> Steady on there, Ho-oh...


	42. Episode 42 (Sparks Fly for Magnemite)

GO: …  
GO: …  
GO: …  
OG: Uh Shaymin  
OG: You okay there  
GO: I’m fine.  
GO: Perfectly fine.  
GO: I know somebody who’s not about to be, though.  
UT: ?  
GO: Please excuse me.  
GO: I am going to go and MAIM MY COUSIN!  
grassrootsOptimism [GO] fled the memo.  
UT: uh  
[MOD] TM: Um.  
OG: Uh  
TT: oh shit  
[MOD] TM: Language.  
UT: what happened to shaymin?  
[MOD] TM: Something that possibly you may not know about her species is that they are responsible for dealing with pollution.  
[MOD] TM: It is largely down to them that the world hasn’t become an over-polluted mess, regardless of cause.  
[MOD] TM: So for a city to become as polluted as you describe, well, it means somebody isn’t doing their job.  
UT: i’ve never heard her so angry.  
UT: is she going to be okay?  
grassrootsOptimism [GO] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
GO: I’m fine.  
GO: Totally peachy.  
[MOD] TM: Shaymin, I think you may need to take longer than that.  
GO: I’m fine, why would I need to calm down?  
GO: It’s not like my cousin who frequents that part of Kanto has assured us that he’s taken care of everything there.  
GO: Totally pollution free, according to him!  
GO: And that’s totally not why he never invites any of us over to visit!  
GO: No, he always says that our places are nicer and there’s nothing to do at his place!  
TT: chill pill time shay  
GO: I don’t need to chill out!  
GO: I am  
GO: Perfectly  
GO: *FINE*.  
grassrootsOptimism [GO] exploded.  
DD: o.o  
DD: ash?  
UT: what?  
DD: do what you need to do and then get the fuck outta there!  
[MOD] TM: Mew! Language!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: okay!  
UT: we figured out why the magnemite were being weird, we discharged pikachu, i caught a muk, team rocket got dealt with, and we are outta here!  
GO: You didn’t really need to flee.  
GO: It’s not like this is going to hurt.  
GO: You, anyway.  
TT: uh oh  
[MOD] TM: Ash, I’d advise you and your friends to cover your ears.  
UT: what am i supposed to tell them?!  
GO: And here…  
GO: We…  
GO: Go!  
DD: o.o  
UT: o.o  
TT: o.o  
OG: Mew should we be streaming this  
DD: no.  
DD: trust me this isn’t pleasant to look at.  
UT: is she  
UT: is she *eating* the pollution?!  
GO: Don’t be  
GO: Don’t be stupid!  
GO: That wouldn’t be healthy!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] uploaded file "pollution.jpg".  
OG:  
OG:  
OG: I feel sick now  
UT: what am i supposed to tell brock and misty?!  
[MOD] TM: Pretend you don’t know what’s going on?  
GO: Urrrgh.  
GO: Several years of untreated pollution.  
GO: Never good on the sinuses…  
UT: wow.  
GO: Okay, I think  
GO: I think I got everything  
UT: are you going to be ok?  
GO: Give me a second.  
GO: This is going to be loud.  
GO: *ahem*  
grassrootsOptimism [GO] exploded.  
TT: can you do that  
TT: can you explode twice  
doctorWhom [DW] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave doctorWhom [DW] the ‘administrator’ role.  
OG: Oh hi Dialga  
UT: wow!  
[ADMIN] DW: I detected an enormous explosion of energy over Kanto.  
DD: it’s shaymin.  
[ADMIN] DW: Yes, I can see that.  
[ADMIN] DW: It’s not something I need to worry much about then.  
grassrootsOptimism [GO] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
GO: Whooooo!  
GO: That was a rush!  
GO: :D  
[MOD] TM: Feel better now?  
GO: Oh yeah!  
GO: I haven’t felt this great since that lady put out coffee for me instead of water!  
DD: welp  
DD: goodbye gringy city!  
DD: hello  
DD: uh  
DD: quick someone name a shade of green!  
OG: Pistachio  
OG: Avocado  
OG: Aparagus  
GO: Ew.  
TT: emerald  
[MOD] TM: You can’t call it Emerald City.  
[MOD] TM: I’m pretty sure that’s protected by copyright laws.  
TT: pay no attention to the mon behind the curtain etc  
GO: Well, now that unpleasantness is out of the way, we can get back to normality!  
TT: what did you do to your cousin  
GO: Oh, he’s here too.  
GO: I used Seed Flare on him.  
GO: He won’t be moving for a while.  
TT: ow  
[ADMIN] DW: You know, when I was told Ash was approaching ‘Gringy City’, I was admittedly confused.  
[ADMIN] DW: Because that wasn’t its name twenty years ago, and that’s not its name in the future either.  
GO: Well, there you go!  
[ADMIN] DW: If you’ll excuse me, I have to go and clamp that event down so it doesn’t attract every human authority in the region.  
doctorWhom [DW] fled the memo.  
DD: okay!  
DD: first order of business then is this:  
DD: ash why the hell did you catch a muk?!

* * *

TM: I… may have done something rash.   
TM: I suggested to Misty that I might be able to put her in touch with my daughter, as someone with more expertise in Water-types.   
TM: With your permission?   
TO: I think that can be arranged.   
TO: You would need to impress on Suicune the increased need for secrecy, of course.   
TO: Suicune is a sensible individual.   
TO: As one of those who is frequently in the same area she would need to be aware of anything she says regarding recent events.   
TO: However, if she does slip up, any consequences will fall on the both of you.   
TM: Naturally.   
TO: I will speak with Giratina. You speak with Suicune.   
TO: Let him know, and he’ll remove the block.   
TM: Thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given that Shaymin’s been a very active participant so far, she had to have *some* reaction to Gringy City. And having a worldwide family of Shaymin maintaining the world’s pollution level seems a plausible explanation for the Pokémon World’s state. That is, when they’re actually bothered to do their jobs.
> 
> And Muk, of course, since it got mentioned when Celebi popped to the future in episode 10. Muk’s here to do a very specific job: mostly be ignored by Ash. Courtesy of his new friends Ash has had *an* intelligence upgrade but at the moment he just considers Muk to be a ‘…why did I *do* that?’ catch, a remnant of early series canon!Ash's overreliance on blind luck.
> 
> The whole Ho-oh putting Misty in touch with Suicune thing was a last-minute addition to the last chapter - I knew I was going to do it at some point but didn’t know where there was room for it - so progress on that front may be a little slow, since I’ve now got enough backlog chapters already written up to the new year. Current progress on that front: I have three more filler episodes to write (two funny, one slightly-more-serious) and then I can properly move on to the triple-header that forms the conclusion to the Rainbow Hero arc.


	43. Episode 43 (The Bridge Bike Gang)

mythicWysteria [MW] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

MW: Ash, I have good news.   
MW: Verity and I were finally able to locate the missing page from the book about Ho-oh.   
UT: oh you were?!   
UT: where was it?   
MW: It’s hard to believe, but we found it in the library in Aureolin Town.   
MW: Which is strange, because the librarians have no record of the book itself ever being here, and I only picked this library with a blind guess.   
MW: Anyway, it says the Rainbow Wing should be taken to a location called the ‘Storm’s End Throne’ on Mt. Tensei in southeastern Kanto.   
UT: ok tha

ultimateTrainer [UT] stopped pestering mythicWysteria [MW].

MW: Ash?

* * *

tropicalWaterfall [TW] began pestering mythicWysteria [MW].

TW: Ash said he was talking to you?   
MW: Um, yes.   
MW: What happened?   
TW: he learned what happens if you try to text and ride a bike at the same time.   
TW: he is such an idiot.   
TW: what were you saying?   
MW: Right.   
MW: He needs to take the Rainbow Wing to Mt. Tensei.   
MW: It’s part of the Raizen Range, which is located in the southeast of the region.   
MW: It’s somewhat off the beaten path, especially from the route Ash is planning to visit the Pokémon Gyms.   
TW: we’re getting out a map.   
TW: we see it.   
TW: from where we are it’s on the other side of Fuchsia City.   
TW: it’s a long way though.   
MW: Unfortunately yes.   
MW: We’re already heading into the end of summer, and at general Ash speed, considering he gets caught up with things several times a week, it might even be winter by the time he reaches it.   
MW: There’s a town in the foothills, Reseda Town, which is on the road from Fuchsia.   
MW: Verity and I will try to meet up with you guys there.   
TW: okay, got it.   
MW: …When you say bike…   
TW: they’re rentals.

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] began pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].

UT: mark your calendar, ho-oh!   
UT: we’re heading for mt. tensei!   
TM: Excellent.   
TM: What day should I mark?   
UT: still working on that.   
TM: You may possibly want to reconsider the meaning of the phrase ‘mark your calendar’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helpful reminder that Ash is still a ditz sometimes.
> 
> Much like the problem with Bill’s lighthouse, the anime order of episodes at this point in the series is all kinds of screwy, not to mention dodgy with pacing. Ash travels from Celadon to Fuchsia though five filler episodes, then finds the Cycling Road on the other side of the Safari Zone, and… between Fuchsia and Cinnabar are *27* episodes. This series has already shunted some of those 27 into earlier slots (this episode, Wake Up Snorlax, Chansey Operation and Case of the K-9 Caper) and a few more episodes get rotated around. And now Ash finally has a destination, giving him a *reason* to go in the wrong direction in that long gap.
> 
> Reseda Town is the name I’ve given to the otherwise unnamed town which is the setting for The March of the Exeggutor Squad.
> 
> Meanwhile, I’m attempting to try and organize the seasons based on Ash’s journey taking a little over a year from start to Indigo. It was spring when he started, it’s summer by Saffron, and then to line things up they have to be approaching a year on the trot when they return to Viridian, so winter has to be going on around the bottom of the map.
> 
> Fun fact: It’s stated that it’s nearly a year between Ash’s two visits to Viridian City. It’s *also* explicitly stated that the Pikachu and Pichu short which takes place in mid-Johto happens on the one-year anniversary of Ash’s journey. Make your mind up, writers!


	44. Episode 44 (The Punchy Pokémon)

FOT: what did i say?  
UT: you said ‘bring tissues’.  
FOT: and?  
UT: thanks, celebi.  
FOT: you’re welcome!  
CS: Not the turning point with Primeape we were all hoping for, then.  
UT: we did pretty well!  
UT: not well enough, but…  
[MOD] CW: just as well that (team rocket) did not (interfere) as they (planned)  
CS: What?  
DD: *really*?  
[MOD] CW: yes  
[MOD] CW: they encountered the same (problem) as (elaine)  
[MOD] CW: these are (professionals)  
UT: @sevenstar how was my fighting-type style?  
sevenStar [SS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
SS: what  
SS: i was asleep  
UT: …  
UT: nevermind.  
FOT: i didn’t think it was so bad.  
FOT: you did get to the final!  
FOT: that’s pretty good!  
FOT: considering you know azelf’s right, those guys are professionals.  
UT: yeah, you’re right!  
UT: and i did learn something.  
UT: i’m not gonna turn primeape around in one day.  
UT: i’ve gotta work at it!  
FOT: and until you do?  
UT: keep tissues handy.  
FOT: attaboy!

* * *

WD: Not asking for your friend to be added to the memo?   
UT: i did ask her.   
UT: but her phone’s super-old and she doesn’t think it can run the program.   
UT: she’ll be with us for a little bit since we’re heading the same way though.   
UT: fuchsia gym is next for both of us.   
UT: and on the other side of that she says there’s a neat place called the safari zone, where we can catch rare pokémon!   
WD: I’ll take your word for it.

* * *

CS: Okay.   
CS: Don’t blow it.

crystallineSlush [CS] began pestering tropicalWaterfall [TW].

CS: Um, hello?   
TW: uh.   
TW: hi?   
CS: I’m TM’s daughter, he said he’d try to put you in touch with me?   
TW: oh, hi.   
TW: yes, he said you might be able to help me with my Psyduck.   
CS: I see.   
CS: I’ll give it my best shot.   
CS: What is the issue?   
TW: he’s really annoying!   
TW: he pops out of his Pokéball when I’m trying to call for another one of my Pokémon, and then he just stands around doing nothing!   
TW: my friend’s Pokédex says they constantly suffers from a headache, and I see that, but he just… doesn’t do anything!   
CS: Hm.   
CS: It’s been a while since I interacted with a Psyduck, but I’ll see if I can remember.   
CS: First of all, I think you’ve described two different issues.   
CS: On the subject of Psyduck’s headaches, as I recall it’s usually down to sensory overload.   
TW: what’s that?   
CS: Um, this is more a Psychic-thing, but essentially…   
CS: It’s like if you were trying to have a conversation, but you have several people around you also talking at you.   
CS: None of them can hear each other, but you can hear all of them.   
CS: So when you’re giving your Psyduck instructions, you’re one of those voices.   
CS: And in order to actually attack, it’s got to pick out another one of those voices to respond to.   
CS: Is that… clear, at all?   
TW: I… think so?   
CS: That’s why, when Psyduck headaches get worse, they start actually being able to use their powers.   
CS: Like if the voice they needed to respond to started shouting over all the others.   
CS: A self-defense mechanism, if you will.   
TW: …okay.   
TW: so it’s not that he doesn’t know *how* to attack, it’s just he can’t concentrate long enough to do it.   
CS: Something like that.   
TW: so what was the other thing?   
CS: Funnily enough, it also doesn’t really have to do with Water-types…   
CS: The whole emerging from capture balls early thing.   
CS: This is just a guess on my part, but I think that happens when Pokémon really want to help with something.   
TW: so…   
TW: Psyduck wants to help?   
TW: but when he gets out he can’t?   
CS: I think that’s it.   
CS: It may be that he can think clearer inside the ball, but don’t quote me on that.   
TW: huh.   
TW: okay.   
TW: well, thank you.   
TW: is it okay if i message you again later when i’ve tried some things out?   
CS: Sure.   
CS: Let me know how it turns out.

tropicalWaterfall [TW] stopped pestering crystallineSlush [CS].

CS: Not as bad as I thought it was going to go.   
CS: Which is very worrying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ash did not win the P1 Grand Prix. Primeape isn’t going anywhere.
> 
> Elaine has temporarily joined the party, but not the chat. She has a handle picked out for her if I change my mind, but she’s not the most social character. (In case you’ve forgotten, this is the Pallet Town trainer who picked Bulbasaur, the female protagonist from the Let’s Go games, and who is continuing the trend of rivals showing up when you least expect them.)
> 
> Meanwhile, Suicune makes a friend, via some postulating on what exactly is wrong with Psyduck, because his character feature in the next episode got removed along with the Team Rocket intervention.


	45. Episode 45 (The Ninja Poké-Showdown)

UT: i’m actually kinda nervous.   
DD: pshaw   
DD: you got this ash!   
UT: it’ll be my first gym battle where the leader’s allowed to use non-kanto pokémon.   
UT: you sure you don’t know what they’ll be moltres?   
DN: Koga plays his cards close to his chest.   
DN: Official data isn’t released, and what I’ve been able to dig up from trainer reports vary from battle to battle.   
UT: and i want to use litwick, squirtle and primeape.   
DN: The only Pokémon you have with consistent moves that are strong against the Poison-type is, as you know, Butterfree.   
DN: And I’m assuming you’re aware that Poison-types resist Fighting-type moves.   
UT: the tougher battle for primeape the better, right?   
MU: Oh boy.   
UT: also, are there really no poison-type legendaries?   
[MOD] TM: There aren’t.   
[MOD] TM: The closest we get is Arceus when He’s using His Toxic Plate.   
DD: and me!   
OG: And Yan who has a toxic personality   
[MOD] TM: You’ll be fine, Ash.   
[MOD] TM: Considering that both Koffing and Ekans are Poison-type and you have no problem dealing with them.   
UT: oh that’s right!

* * *

WS: <} Ash is facing Poison-types.  
WS: <} Zacian thought it’d be a good idea if we both were watching.  
sleuthWolf [SW] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
SW: -|===> Considering Darkest Day seemed to favour poison, yes.  
DD: more the merrier!  
US: i hope somethin funny happens cause i cant think of any poison puns yet  
[MOD] BB: Is the bot working yet?  
[ADMIN] WW: SORT OF  
[ADMIN] WW: DIALGAS STILL LOGGED INTO THE ACCOUNT BUT THE MESSAGES SHOULD BE AUTOMATED NOW  
[ADMIN] WW: HES JUST THERE IN CASE IT BREAKS  
[BOT] PB: This is still not going to be a regular thing.  
DD: uh  
DD: crap @wonkywindlass you need to start streaming now!  
DD: this is actually the gym!  
US: wait what  
wonkyWindlass [WW] is now streaming!  
DN: …that’s not Koga.  
DD: no this is just some random he’s battling with bulbasaur.  
DD: but this *is* the gym.  
DD: they’re just all ninjas for some reason.  
MU: Ash is panicking?  
DD: uh  
DD: oh, i think i get it.  
DD: he went for pidgeotto’s pokéball and got bulbasaur instead.  
DN: That would make more sense against a Venonat.  
DN: I  
DN: WHAT  
MU: Did Ash just  
MU: Did Bulbasaur just  
MU: What?????????  
[MOD] BB: What happened? I didn’t think we were starting yet so I wasn’t paying attention.  
DN: HUH?  
DD: …  
DD: @ultimatetrainer i don’t care if that was an accident that was awesome!  
[MOD] TM: I confess I’m lost as well.  
[MOD] TM: What happened?  
DD: well, he’s fumbling with bulbasaur ‘cause he expected pidgeotto.  
DD: and he told bulbasaur to use whirlwind.  
[MOD] TM: So?  
DD: so?  
DD: bulbasaur used whirlwind!  
[MOD] TM:  
[MOD] BB:  
US: that blows me away  
US: you cant kick me for that one the main battles not even started yet  
DN: *It is physically impossible for a Bulbasaur to use Whirlwind.*  
DD: well you’re gonna have to reevaluate physics then ‘cause he just did!  
grassrootsOptimism [GO] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
GO: Aaaaah I’m sorry I’m late!  
GO: Did I miss anything?!  
OG: Ash broke physics  
OG: But you haven’t missed the battle yet  
GO: Okay, as long as it wasn’t anything major.  
[MOD] BB: Why didn’t that even phase you?!

* * *

gallimaufryWheeze [GW] fled the memo.  
gallimaufryWheeze [GW] responded to [ThisLooksLikeAJobForCameramon]  
GW: Okay!  
GW: JustTechnicalGlitchesOnMyEnd.  
GW: EverythingLooksGoodNow.  
NM: Oh Good .  
CW: just in (time)  
CW: same set up as (celadon)  
CW: (uxie) focus on (ash) and his (pokémon)  
CW: (mesprit) focus on (leader)  
WW: SORRY FOR THE LATE WARNING  
GW: NoNoEverythingsFine!  
WW: BATTLES ABOUT TO START  
CW: (places)  
GW: Check!  
NM: Check !  
CW: check  
[BOT] PB: Battle begins. Leader sends out Venomoth. Ash sends out Litwick.  
NM: That Decision Paid Off Then .  
GW: AsLongAsAshDoesntGetOverconfidentThenHeShouldBeFine!  
CW: mind that none of that (dust) gets in through the (portal)  
WW: BE VERY CAREFUL AROUND THAT LITWICK TOO  
WW: IF IT SHIFTS THE WRONG WAY ITLL END UP IN THE PORTAL AS WELL  
WW: IN WHICH CASE WED BE GIVING ASH AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE  
NM: I’m Being Careful .  
NM: At The Very Least It Looks Like He Has A Better Handle On Litwick Than In The Battle He Described At Saffron .  
NM: Though  
NM: It Looks As Though Hes Having Trouble Remembering The Additional Movement Availability That Ghost-Types Have .  
GW: LetUsNotAlsoForgetThatThisIsACandleGoingUpAgainstAMoth.  
NM:  
CW:  
GW:  
GW: ActuallyIThinkAshHasABiggerAdvantageThanWeThoughtHeDid!  
NM: Yes .  
NM: I’m Focusing On Litwick Of Course But That Venomoth Does Seem To Be Having Difficulty Concentrating .  
CW: but can (ash) take (advantage) of that  
CW: that is his true (test)  
CW: ?  
CW: (team rocket) are watching  
WW: REALLY  
CW: fortunately they are just (observing) like we are  
CW: (james) suggested (attacking) but he was rebuked  
WW: HM  
WW: WELL IF THEYRE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG WE CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT THEM  
NM: He’s Doing Well To Avoid The Poisoning Attempts .  
GW: Yes.  
GW: CaughtAVerySlightHintOfASmileOnTheLeadersFace.  
GW: SplitChoiceBetweenApprovalOfAshsTacticsOrSatisfactionOfHimFallingIntoATrap.  
GW: OnTheWholeIThinkItsTheFormer.  
CW: watch it (uxie)  
NM: I Got It , I Got It .  
CW: (uxie)  
NM: I Got It !  
GW: Whoops!  
GW: GoodGrief.  
[BOT] PB: Matchup 1 victory to Litwick.  
[BOT] PB: Knockout cause: Inferno.  
NM: That Wasn’t Inferno .  
[BOT] PB: Correction - that was Ember.  
WW: IT SET THE SPORES ON FIRE  
WW: CONFUSED THE MOVE DETECTION CODE  
[BOT] PB: Litwick withdrawn.  
NM: So Far , So Good .  
NM: Could Do With Work But That Is The Entire Purpose Of These Gyms .  
GW: Agreed.  
GW: TheFactThatLitwickProvedAnIdealChoiceAgainstAVenomothWasPureLuck.  
[BOT] PB: Leader sends out Golbat. Ash sends out $UNKNOWN  
WW: FUCK

* * *

[BOT] PB: Leader sends out Golbat. Ash sends out $UNKNOWN  
DD: wtf  
[MOD] TM: Oh dear.  
[MOD] TM: It would appear that Primeape has figured out how to release himself.  
[BOT] PB: Ash sends out Primeape.  
WS: <} They can do that?!  
GO: Up against a Golbat, ouch.  
GO: Well, Primeape did choose this battle for himself…  
SW: -|===> Primeape doesn’t appear to be listening.  
SW: -|===> Is this normal?  
[MOD] BB: Unfortunately so.  
DN: Fighting against Poison/Flying. The matchup isn’t favorable.

* * *

WS: <} Y’know, it’s just occurred to me.   
SW: -|===> What?   
WS: <} We are literally *the* worst equipped Pokémon to have to deal with Darkest Day.   
SW: -|===> Why’s that?   
WS: <} Well, it favours Poison-type moves.   
WS: <} I’m a Fighting-type, and you’re a Fairy-type.   
SW: -|===> …   
SW: -|===> …   
SW: -|===> That’s right…   
SW: -|===> And when we got armoured up it just busted out Flamethrower…   
SW: -|===> …   
WS: <} Why is it our job again?   
SW: -|===> I’m… going to get back to you on that one.   
SW: -|===> Meanwhile, it looks like any Brownie points that the first matchup got Ash are being drained by Primeape’s unwillingness to listen.   
SW: -|===> …   
SW: -|===> Despite that, this is actually pretty good watching.   
WS: <} I know, right?!   
WS: <} I’ve been bingeing on past streams and just watching what Ash gets up to is great!   
WS: <} It’s much better than anything that’s on the telly these days.   
WS: <} Home Region stuff is always so much better than Galarian stuff.   
SW: -|===> Even though I’ve never seen you watching any Home Region stuff?   
WS: <} If they don’t import it I can’t watch it.   
WS: <} It’s not like I can just write in a letter to the GBC.   
WS: <} HELLO FELLOW HUMAN WHY DON’T YOU EVER SHOW THIS OBSCURE HOME REGION PROGRAMME   
SW: -|===> You realize you said that out loud, right?   
WS: <} Shit.   
SW: -|===> You’re so adorable.   
SW: -|===> …   
SW: -|===> Do you get the feeling that Primeape has just realized how big of a mess he’s gotten himself into?   
WS: <} Oh yeah.   
SW: -|===> …aaaaand there he goes.

* * *

[BOT] PB: Matchup 2 victory to Golbat.  
[BOT] PB: Knockout cause: Air Cutter.  
MU: Yeah…  
DD: shame.  
DN: Well, at least Ash isn’t limited to just one Pokémon now, since he withdrew Litwick properly.  
DN: Question now is whether he’s going to go back to Litwick or continue onward to Squirtle as planned.  
DN: Or choose another Pokémon entirely.  
DN: His Flying-type counters aren’t on his preplanned list.  
[BOT] PB: Golbat withdrawn.  
OG: Uh oh  
[MOD] BB: Well, whatever he uses next, Koga believes his third Pokémon can counter it.  
[MOD] BB: This is going to be a non-Kanto native, right?  
DN: Correct.  
[BOT] PB: Leader sends out Ariados. Ash sends out Litwick.  
[MOD] TM: Ariados. That’s an… interesting choice.  
DD: ssssssssss  
GO: I think Ash wants to save Squirtle for Golbat?  
GO: Either that or he’s thinking of using Pikachu instead.  
DN: Koga knows Ash has a Fire-type already active in the battle, so why…  
DN: He must have a plan of some sort.

* * *

WD: Why did we ever think spiders were a good idea?   
TO: ’We’ didn’t.   
TO: They were born from Mew’s desire to hunt skittery things.   
TO: She was most disappointed when they started fighting back.   
TO: …   
TO: I think I know what Koga’s plan is.   
WD: What?   
TO: Well, if I’m right, we’ll be seeing in three…   
TO: …two…   
TO: One.   
WD: Oh, I see.   
TO: Lights out.   
TO: It’s an excellent counter-Fire strategy, and it fits the theme.   
TO: Litwick is now the only source of light in the room and Ariados is invisible.   
TO: Dark-vision cameras, Giratina?   
WW: YES   
TO: Good foresight.   
WD: Is that a permissible tactic, though?   
WD: Gunning for the light switch?   
WW: ITS A VERY BIG LIGHT SWITCH   
WW: ITD BE HARD TO AVOID SOMETHING LIKE THAT   
DW: He’s right.   
DW: I’m wondering if some battles involve baiting the challenger’s Pokémon into hitting it themselves.   
TO: I have been doing a little research here and there.   
TO: It seems to fall into the category of ‘If it’s viable, and there’s no rule forbidding it, then it’s permissible.’   
TO: At the leader’s discretion, of course.   
TO: Think of Ash’s battle against Misty.   
TO: There was no specific rule that stated all the water had to remain in the pool, for instance.   
WD: Hmmm.   
WD: I suppose.   
TO: I’m still concerned that perhaps Koga hasn’t thought this through fully.   
TO: Giratina knows what I’m talking about.   
WD: What’s that?   
WW: ASH CANT SEE IN THE DARK   
WW: BUT LITWICK CAN   
WD: Oh.   
TO: Which is really a shame.   
TO: That should be a difficult strategy to counter.   
WD: Father?   
WD: You don’t want Ash to win?   
TO: Of course I want Ash to win!   
TO: More accurately, I want him to be *challenged*.   
TO: I don’t want him arriving at the moment for which he was Chosen - whatever and whenever that may be - having waltzed through every previous test.   
TO: I would rather he lose and learn something than win and learn nothing.   
TO: …   
TO: …   
TO: Is…   
TO: Is Litwick attempting to communicate in *Morse Code*?   
DW: …I believe so, yes.   
TO: Does Ash understand Morse Code?   
DW: No.   
WW: NEITHER DOES LITWICK THATS JUST GIBBERISH   
TO: I was going to say.   
DW: Ash needs to pull something out of the bag here.   
DW: The longer he fumbles in the dark, the greater advantage his opponent has.   
DW: That webbing is going to cut off most of the battlefield before he knows it.   
TO: It is a fascinating concept to teach trainers.   
TO: I first thought it would be all about avoiding being poisoned, but it’s about communication instead.   
TO: That’s not   
WD: Safe?   
WW: WELL IT WORKED   
TO: I think we need to have a word with Ash about this.   
TO: This is the second gym in a row he’s attempted to burn down.

* * *

[BOT] PB: Matchup 3 victory to Litwick.  
[BOT] PB: Knockout cause: Status (burn).  
DD: whoever knew ariados webbing was so flammable?  
DD: litwick had entirely too much fun with that.  
MU: If that had been Primeape’s battle though…  
MU: That would’ve gone very badly!  
US: well duh  
US: what else do you think a spider webs for  
US: its for trapping stuff  
[MOD] BB: I think that was mostly just bad play on the leader’s part.  
[MOD] BB: He was fully prepared to deal with a Fire-type this time, but focused too much on that instead of Litwick’s Ghost-type properties.  
[MOD] BB: Ash did quite well with that, I think.  
[MOD] BB: Despite all the fire, again.  
OG: So it’s Golbat time again  
[BOT] PB: Litwick withdrawn.  
[MOD] TM: And Ash’s third Pokémon, too.  
GO: I just realized something.  
GO: This is the first gym battle where the leader’s allowed to use a non-Kanto native Pokémon against Ash, and Ash is using a non-Kanto native Pokémon too!  
DD: haha yeah!  
[BOT] PB: Leader sends out Golbat. Ash sends out Squirtle.  
DN: So it is Squirtle.  
MU: But what’s he going to do against it?

* * *

OT: hey, i just remembered what day it is!  
OT: around about now, ash is in fuchsia gym, trying to replicate gary’s anti-air-squirtle technique!  
OT: wish i could go and see it…  
OT: but no! we’ve still got work to do!  
OT: let’s see… we jumped back and got the page out of the book, we planted it again…  
OT: we just made sure that kid doesn’t take his vacation yet…  
OT: what was next…  
OT: oh right!  
OT: there’s something about articuno we need to get into sorrel’s hands somehow.  
OT: no deadline on that one for a while, but we need to get it to him before ash and the others meet up with him in reseda town.  
OT: you’re a little quiet over there! having second thoughts?  
OT: …  
OT: c’mon, what’s the matter? skitty got your tongue?  
OT: …  
OT: oh *yeah*! we’re so far back in time you haven’t got your account yet!  
OT: you should still be able to use it as an unregistered user or something, i think?  
OT: just don’t press too hard, we don’t want to draw attention.  
[Unregistered User] [UNREG] joined the conversation.  
UNREG: It took you this long to notice.  
UNREG: No wonder you annoy everyone.  
OT: what can i say?  
OT: well, obviously i’m saying quite a lot, but when you’re a time traveller, sometimes you only have yourself to talk to.  
OT: literally!  
OT: the best conversations are the ones where you already know what you and the other person are going to say.  
UNREG: CELEBI!  
OT: right!  
OT: yes!  
OT: my next anchor is in three days, and i know both me and the boss are gonna be busy then.  
OT: that’s going to be a very fun and confusing day for everyone involved!  
OT: either we jump ahead there, or we try and do something in the next few hours.  
UNREG: Celebi.  
UNREG: Before we go *anywhere*, I want you to tell me straight why you picked me for this… malarkey.  
OT: well, my options were pretty limited.  
OT: and this stuff’s gotta be done!  
OT: since my past self left it up for *me* to do, and this timeline ain’t gonna maintain itself.  
OT: i mean yeah, normally ritchie’s my go-to guy for this stuff, but he was in the middle of doing the kalos league!  
OT: and considering those bozos can’t interrupt it this time it should be going off without a hitch, i didn’t want to mess it up!  
UNREG: That doesn’t normally stop you.  
OT: besides, i needed to give him a break.  
UNREG: A break?  
UNREG: You mean like the one I’m supposed to be having right now?  
OT: we’ll be done before you know it!  
UNREG: So why did you pick me again?  
OT: haven’t you been paying attention?  
OT: look like you’re busy, and nobody’s gonna stop you!  
OT: besides, you know what’s waiting for you when we’re done!  
UNREG: …  
UNREG: It is ridiculous that you can bribe me so easily.  
UNREG: I’m willing to let you drag me through all this chicanery and subterfuge over a poxy chocolate bar.  
OT: oop, i think we’ve been talking for too long!  
UNREG: We?  
OT: i think the battle’s nearly over, and that means the boss and giratina are going to pay more attention again!  
OT: we’re gonna jump. breathe in!

* * *

[BOT] PB: Matchup 4 victory to Squirtle.  
[BOT] PB: Forfeit cause: Status (confusion).  
[BOT] PB: Victory to Ash.  
DD: aaaaand *thud*.  
GO: Whooo!  
OG: GG  
DD: nice!  
US: thats how its done  
[MOD] BB: Except that it wasn’t.  
[MOD] BB: I remember watching that battle against Gary, and his Squirtle seemed rather more…  
[MOD] BB: Accurate.  
US: it got the job done though didnt it  
US: different method but same results  
MU: I have a newfound respect for my sister’s element.  
SW: -|===> That was certainly something.  
WS: <} You see what I mean now?  
SW: -|===> Yes, Zama, I do.  
WS: <} It’s settled, then.  
WS: <} One of us needs to learn Water Pulse.  
SW: -|===> I  
SW: -|===> What?  
DD: and the gym’s only mildly damp!  
[MOD] NM: Well It Was Courteous Of Him To Set The Gym On Fire And Then Put It Out Again .  
[MOD] BB: Do gyms charge challengers for damages?  
DN: No.  
DN: But I get the feeling they’re regretting that this year.  
wonkyWindlass [WW] is no longer streaming.  
[ADMIN] WW: FOR THOSE INTERESTED  
[ADMIN] WW: IM GOING TO STREAM ELAINES CHALLENGE TOO  
[ADMIN] WW: FOR A CHANGE OF PACE  
[MOD] TM: Is Ash staying to watch it too?  
[ADMIN] WW: AS I UNDERSTAND IT YES  
GO: That’ll be interesting.  
GO: We’ll get to see what sort of trainer Ash might’ve been if, well, we weren’t here.  
OG: Implying Ash would’ve been normal  
OG: Doubt  
DD: rofl  
[MOD] BB: Hm.  
[MOD] BB: Does anyone feel like something’s… missing?  
MU: Koko?  
[MOD] BB: Right, that’s it.  
US: uh  
US: uh  
US: hold on i still cant think of anythin  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: soul badge get!  
[BOT] PB: Da-da-da-do!  
GO: Grats!  
DD: grats!  
[MOD] BB: Well done, Ash.  
US: got it  
US: youre just burnin through these gyms now ash  
[MOD] BB:  
OG: Ouch  
OG: I felt that facewing from all the way over here  
GO: Koko, that was awful. You’re awful.  
UT: i’m not doing it on purpose!  
MU: I’m ashamed.  
MU: I can't believe that we're related.  
US: what can i say  
US: you want roleplay you go to lunala the dungeon master  
US: you want wordplay you come to koko the pungeon master  
US: also i get why celebi didnt turn up  
[MOD] TM: Oh no.  
US: cause ash doesnt need to do a rematch  
US: he doesnt need to come  
US: back to the fuchsia  
[MOD] TM: CHOKE  
beastieBirb [BB] kicked unabatedStimulus [US] from the memo. (Reason: Get out.)  
MU: Nooooooooooo  
OG: W H E E Z E  
GO: How does he come up with this stuff?  
SW: -|===> I’m… going to pretend that didn’t just happen.  
DD: can we not just ban him???  
[MOD] TM: That actually hurt.  
UT: i dunno.  
UT: i thought it was funny!  
WS: <} What?  
WS: <} I don’t get it.  
SW: -|===> Zama  
SW: -|===> You haven’t seen  
SW: -|===> I know what we’re watching tonight.  
DN: Anyway, it should be physically impossible to set the next gym on fire.  
MU: Why’s that?  
DN: It’s the Fire-type gym.  
DN: If the gym hasn’t been built specifically to withstand being set on fire, it should at least be impossible for Ash to do it before the leader does it.  
OG: Don’t jinx it  
[MOD] BB: That’s your next destination then?  
UT: actually no!  
UT: we’re going the wrong way again! :D  
DD: ok what are you doing *this* time?!  
UT: well first we’re going to the safari zone.  
UT: and *then*…  
UT: i’m going on a date with ho-oh on mt. tensei!  
DD: uh  
GO: Um. Really?  
OG: Pfft  
MU: Oh my stars.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] BB: …  
UT: what?  
[MOD] BB: *Ho-oh.*  
[MOD] TM: If you’ll excuse us, everyone, Ash and I are going to have a quick chat about the proper use of phrasing around the word ‘date’…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Audience interaction game: Count how many times the prefix ‘Poké-’ and the word ‘Showdown’ appear in actual show episode titles.
> 
> Bulbasaur using Whirlwind happened in canon, and was completely a mistake on the part of the dubbers. Venonat used Stun Spore, and Ash told Bulbasaur to blow it away. It looks though like the dubbers confused this with Blow Away (what the move Whirlwind is in Japanese) and translated it as is. It’s fun to keep it as a running gag, though, especially as Bulbasaur would later go on to use *another* move he shouldn’t be able to learn (Dig). Add in a reason as to why Ash would be instructing Bulbasaur to use a move he shouldn’t have any possible way of knowing and bam. The legendaries react… appropriately.
> 
> I decided to do something a little bit different with this gym battle, run it in fragments and behind-the-scenes. Thus we get the cameramons, the Galarian dogs having an identity crisis, Arceus and his children having a chat, Celebi casually dropping spoilers again, and ending with a truly godawful pun.


	46. Episode 46 (The Flame Pokémon-athon)

GO: Despite everything, the Rockets have just made this more entertaining!  
[MOD] TM: I can’t say the same for the fellow who hired them.  
[MOD] TM: Hoopa, *no*.  
OO: awww  
DD: not impressed with the other racers either.  
DD: what idiot races with an electrode?  
DD: i mean yeah they’re super fast but if they hit their top speed they instantly explode.  
SU: To say nothing of those who brought slow Pokémon.  
SU: It would have been smart if any of them knew Trick Room though.  
DD: nah, i saw the rules, trick room’s banned.  
[MOD] GW: ShameThatTheRocketsImpededPikachusProgressThough.  
[MOD] GW: WouldHaveLikedToSeeTheJudgesDealWithThat!  
GO: Yeah. That’s the downside.  
GO: Come on, Ash! Don’t let the cheater win!  
[MOD] TM: I don’t think we have anything to fear.  
[MOD] TM: That determination will see him through.  
[MOD] TM: Hoopa.  
[MOD] TM: NO.  
OO: rotter  
[MOD] TM: Just because the other racer is cheating doesn’t mean you should help Ash to cheat.  
SU: I’m all for shortcuts but I agree.  
SU: If it were you racing, sure, but Ash won’t like it if you interfere.  
SU: This is one of those things that  
SU: Um  
SU: I’ll be right back.  
OO: eh alola  
stockadeUpheaval [SU] fled the memo.  
GO: Home stretch!  
GO: GO ON, ASH!  
DD: i can almost feel his determination!  
DD: wait.  
DD: i can feel something else as well.  
DD: oh shit  
[MOD] GW: Wow!  
GO: The Ponyta evolved?!  
GO: What were the chances of that?!  
DD: that’s not all!  
DD: didn’t you see, mesprit?  
[MOD] GW: IThoughtISawSomething!  
[MOD] GW: AshGlowedToo?  
[MOD] TM: Wait, what?!  
GO: What?!  
GO: Mew!  
DD: i don’t know!  
DD: it’s like he got a sudden burst of aura from somewhere!  
DD: @ultimatetrainer how did you do that?!  
[MOD] TM: I’m going to have to confer with Arceus.  
[MOD] TM: That doesn’t match any known aura power I’m familiar with.  
DD: @crystallineslush race over!  
crystallineSlush [CS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
CS: Thank you, Mew.  
CS: I can’t stand watching races.  
CS: It makes me want to participate.  
CS: …  
CS: …  
CS: What?  
DD: hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!  
GO: Um, Mew, if you’re rolling around laughing that makes the camera spin around too…  
oddityOdyssey [OO] stopped streaming.  
oddityOdyssey [OO] fainted.  
GO: Too late.  
DD: that was just  
DD: too rich  
DD: ash you absolute legend  
GO: What???  
DD: so the race is over.  
DD: the guy who cheated is in the middle of ranting about how ash cheated.  
DD: ash turns to him and says  
DD: ‘thanks for the race! that was really tough!’  
DD: completely sincerely!  
CS: Uh…  
GO: Did…  
GO: Did Ash not notice that the guy was cheating?  
DD: no he did.  
DD: but he just shut down the other guy *completely*!  
DD: ahaha!  
DD: i’m gonna have to go and lie down somewhere…  
[MOD] TM: I’m informed that in the future, Dialga has worked out what happened, but he refuses to tell us right now.  
[MOD] TM: Something about 'it's probably not a problem, probably'.  
CS: Ah, of course.  
CS: Time travel.  
CS: It’s *always* time travel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Ash did glow in the actual episode. Blame the animators.
> 
> (Edit 2 1/2 hours after the post - modified one of Shaymin's lines slightly to specify what Pokémon is being talked about.)


	47. Episode 47 (The Kangaskhan Kid)

current outtaTime [COT] RIGHT NOW responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
COT: what’s this i heard about ash getting arrested?  
CS: It’s not as bad as that.  
CS: It’s more like ‘he’s being cautioned for walking into the wrong part of the Safari Zone and breaking a rule he didn’t know existed’.  
CS: Namely attempting to catch a Chansey.  
[MOD] TM: Moltres gave me some more information on this ‘Safari Zone’.  
[MOD] TM: It’s a habitat for many of the rarer Kanto Pokémon, but there are very strict rules you have to follow in order to catch them.  
[MOD] TM: *Very* strict rules.  
[MOD] TM: Rulebreakers have been known to leave the area with teethmarks on their legs.  
COT: yeesh.  
DD: you gonna be alright down there sui?  
DD: not a lot of cover out there.  
CS: I’m sticking well inside the woods at the Zone’s edge.  
CS: I know my boundaries.  
CS: Plus, we don’t know how many other trainers are out there at the moment.  
CS: I don’t fancy being caught myself.  
US: not sure what ash was gonna do with a chansey  
US: have eggs for breakfast every day or somethin  
[MOD] TM: …  
US: look i dunno how chansey work ok  
US: i dont pay that much attention to em  
barkNecessarily [BN] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
[MOD] TM: There’s not really a pattern to how they work.  
COT: ash’s team could do with a healer!  
COT: hi xerneas!  
US: i dont pay that much attention to em  
barkNecessarily [BN] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
[MOD] TM: There’s not really a pattern to how they work.  
COT: ash’s team could do with a  
COT: what  
CS: What the…  
DD: wtf  
BN: Uh.  
BN: What juxt happened?  
US: huh  
US: deja vu  
COT: uh oh.  
COT: was that actually déjà vu?  
COT: that’s not good.  
[MOD] TM: Celebi, explain.  
COT: look, déjà vu is a real thing!  
COT: it happens when the boss changes something.  
COT: we just jumped timeline tracks!  
doctorWhom [DW] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave doctorWhom [DW] the ‘administrator’ role.  
[ADMIN] DW: I am *extremely* sorry for that, everyone.  
COT: what did you do boss?  
DD: yeah! what was that?  
[ADMIN] DW: I… corrected an injustice.  
[ADMIN] DW: One which I probably shouldn’t have but as soon as I floated the idea everybody in this channel said I should do it and Father allowed it.  
[MOD] TM: …This is the first time you’ve been in this channel today.  
[ADMIN] DW: From your perspective, yes.  
[ADMIN] DW: I made the change from a few hours in the future and returned to this point to make sure things stuck.  
COT: boss, you’re always against changing things like that!  
COT: what happened?!  
[ADMIN] DW: I’ll say little about the events of the timeline we’ve just left except for the fact that it started with a toddler being dropped out of a helicopter.  
DD:  
BN:  
[MOD] TM:  
CS:  
COT: ooh.  
[MOD] TM: …I think I’d like to know about it all the same.  
DD: yeah.  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[ADMIN] DW: In the first version of today’s events, Ash and his friends encountered the aforementioned child, a few years after being dropped, he having been raised by the local herd of Kangaskhan.  
[ADMIN] DW: The parents, the aforementioned droppers, turned up and attempted to cure their son’s ‘amnesia’ with a 2x4.  
notaryMemento [NM] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave notaryMemento [NM] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] NM: W H A T  
[ADMIN] DW: Subsequently, during an attack from Team Rocket, they deliberately crashed their helicopter into the Rockets’ vehicle, and we all stared in disbelief as they decided to live with the Kangaskhan too.  
[ADMIN] DW: At which point we all became deeply unsatisfied by the day’s events and I stepped into the past to correct them by making sure that the parents were actually sensible.  
[ADMIN] DW: Hence.  
[MOD] NM: I Am Unspeakably Outraged .  
[ADMIN] DW: You said exactly the same thing last time.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: I’m not sure I could have put up with watching that.  
DD: wait.  
DD: the kid’s *parents* dropped him out of the chopper???  
[ADMIN] DW: Yes.  
DD: hfs  
DD: i don’t blame you!  
[ADMIN] DW: For the record, I did check on the way back up, and my change has had zero effect on any of us before this day.  
[ADMIN] DW: So none of your memories of the past few years have changed.  
BN: I’m getting the xinking feeling that I came in at an incredibly bad time.  
[ADMIN] DW: If someone wouldn’t mind getting a stream up and running so I can keep an eye on the day without making my presence extremely known, that would be great.  
[ADMIN] DW: It shouldn’t have too much of an impact on Ash but I need to be sure.  
[MOD] NM: I’m Free If Giratina Is .  
[MOD] NM: @wonkyWindlass  
CS: Oy vey.  
wonkyWindlass [WW] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave wonkyWindlass [WW] the ‘administrator’ role.  
[ADMIN] WW: OK  
[ADMIN] WW: UXIE IF YOU COME OVER HERE  
[ADMIN] WW: ILL GET YOU INTO THE REVERSE WORLD  
[ADMIN] WW: SORRY IF IM A BIT SHORT IVE GOT A HEADACHE  
DD: …  
DD: …  
DD: um, dialga?  
[ADMIN] DW: Yes?  
DD: what was the first thing ash did last time?  
[ADMIN] DW: Well, he was being escorted out of the Zone by the local Jenny.  
DD: like he’s doing now.  
[ADMIN] DW: That’s not likely to have changed.  
[ADMIN] DW: So next up would be Jenny being alerted to Team Rocket attempting to capture the herd.  
DD: check.  
CS: Oh for the love of *everything*…  
[ADMIN] DW: Team Rocket gained the upper hand, and that was when the child appeared.  
DD: uh huh.  
DD: uh huh.  
DD: you mean this kid that i’m tracking through the woods on a direct path to the herd right now?  
[ADMIN] DW:  
[ADMIN] DW:  
[ADMIN] DW: FUCK.

* * *

BN: At the rixk of making an obvioux referenxe…  
BN: Life findx a way.  
DD: i can’t blame you for that ‘cause i was about to say it!  
DD: nice ninja, xerneas.  
BN: Thank you.  
CS: It’s fascinating.  
CS: Dialga made what could probably be considered a major change in this child’s life years ago, and yet he still shows up in the same place at the same time, albeit in a different context.  
BN: The more thinx change, the more they xtay the xame.  
BN: We know thix.  
BN: But it wax a poxitive change nonethelexx.  
COT: so instead of being raised *by* the kangaskhan, he just lived nearby the whole time and grew up knowing them anyway!  
COT: that’s really neat!  
[ADMIN] DW: If wholly unintentional.  
[ADMIN] DW: By the way, Ho-oh, I think this was about the point last time where you had to leave to shout at Raikou.  
[ADMIN] DW: Something about a cable?  
[MOD] TM: What?  
[MOD] TM: …Yes, I see him down there dragging *something*.  
[MOD] TM: Thanks for the warning.  
twiceMulticolored [TM] fled the memo.  
COT: if i just check…  
COT: @outtatime  
current outtaTime [COT] fled the memo.  
current outtaTime [COT] RIGHT NOW responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
COT: yeah thought so.  
COT: he’ll be the warden when he grows up!  
CS: It’s nice to know that Ash isn’t going to completely ruin things here.  
DD: lol  
DD: sounds like the jenny knows the kid too, probably from all that sneaking in to the area.  
[MOD] NM: And No Memory Issues To Report .  
[MOD] NM: If Somebody Ever Gets Out A 2 x 4 Again I’m Going To Take It From Them And Smack Them With It .  
US: oh so you get upset about that  
US: what about when fini hits me with a baseball bat  
[MOD] NM: She’s Not Making Misguided Attempts To Restore Your Memory .  
US: sure about that  
[MOD] NM: She Just Wants To Hurt You .  
[MOD] NM: And She Is Your Sister , Not Your Parent .  
US: the pains of bein a quadruplet  
current outtaTime 2 [COT2] RIGHT NOW responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
[ADMIN] DW: Celebi, what are you doing now?  
COT2: don’t mind me, just saving my place.  
COT: hm?  
COT2: i (you) make a little trip to the past in a couple of minutes and the return anchor got me back a little early.  
COT2: carry on!  
COT: oh, neat!  
CS: Here we go again.  
DD: wh  
DD: suicune where did pikachu go?!  
CS: Hold.  
BN: Oh no.  
CS: There’s an injured child Kangaskhan.  
[MOD] NM: I Got It .  
BN: Alone?  
CS: Can’t see or hear any adults nearby.  
BN: How did Pikachu hear that?  
BN: Young Kangaxkhan cry for their motherx in a way that doexn’t broadcaxt that they’re vulnerable.  
DD: ash’s extremely limited medical training to the rescue!  
[ADMIN] DW: Hmmm.  
DD: …  
DD: huh…  
DD: that explains it!  
BN: What?  
CS: What?  
DD: my tactical eavesdropping skills have activated!  
DD: pikachu just told the kangaskhan that he (pikachu) was raised in another herd of kangaskhan!  
BN: Oh.  
BN: That’x…  
COT: i gotta go check this out.  
COT: hey, you were right, me!  
COT2: :p  
COT: whoooosh!  
current outtaTime [COT] fled the memo.  
current outtaTime 2 [COT2] is now current outtaTime [COT].  
COT: and off i go!  
CS: Xerneas?  
BN: I mean it’x not completely unheard of for Kangaxkhan to partixipate in the raixing of other xpexiex.  
BN: They are extremely xoxial creaturex.  
DD: and neat, the kid knows a kangaskhan lullaby.  
DD: wasn’t sure human vocal ranges could do that.  
past outtaTime [POT] FOUR YEARS AGO responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
POT: found him!  
POT: can confirm!  
POT: it’s very interesting.  
POT: very very very very interesting.  
COT: i know, right?  
[ADMIN] DW: Out with it, Celebi.  
POT: i was watching our little pichu with his kangaskhan family and i happened to bump into someone.  
POT: we had a nice little chat.  
DD: who?  
POT: you.  
DD: wat  
[ADMIN] DW: …what?  
COT: yep!  
COT: she told me that she was bored and it was either do what she was doing or she was going to hijack a steam engine and play with it.  
DD: …  
DD: fuck me, i remember having that conversation!  
DD: pichu was there?  
DD: back on the island, pikachu did say something having seen me before…  
DD: i never noticed.  
COT: wait, it gets better!  
POT: we’re in the forest behind the oak lab!  
CS: And?  
POT: there’s a field trip going on.  
[ADMIN] DW: Oh *no*.  
POT: oh yes!  
POT: i can place mew, pichu/pikachu and ash within 100 yards of each other!  
[ADMIN] DW: Are you absolutely sure?  
POT: absotootly!  
US: huh  
US: destiny  
BN: That’x…  
BN: What were the chanxex of that?  
US: million to one  
US: easy  
CS: It reminds me of that song Meloetta wrote.  
CS: That one about Destiny Bond?  
DD: hey, i love that song!  
DD: must be getting on four years since she wrote that one too!  
[ADMIN] DW: I hate to say it, but Koko’s close to being right.  
US: thank  
[ADMIN] DW: The chances of that happening are so astronomically small…  
POT: and i guess this explains where mew was while we were dealing with the alto mare crisis!  
DD: i  
DD: shit, was it that day?  
POT: few hours after it was all over, yeah.  
POT: coincidences, huh?  
[ADMIN] DW: Where Chosen Ones are concerned, there are no coincidences.  
[ADMIN] DW: Ever.  
[ADMIN] DW: If Ash actually met Pikachu four years before his journey began, then…  
[ADMIN] DW: Celebi?  
COT: i touched nothing, boss.  
COT: had a chat with mew but that was just about it.  
COT: i stuck around for a bit and ash never got any closer.  
COT: i don’t think they ever actually saw each other.  
DD: and i definitely didn’t touch anything after that.  
DD: i did a few flybys of the field trip in disguise but got bored and wandered off.  
DD: honestly didn’t know ash was there either.  
DD: if i did, lugia probably would’ve shouted my ears off.  
BN: I repeat my earlier xtatement, then.  
BN: Life findx a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next episode was banned because the Warden aimed a gun in Ash’s face, but it’s perfectly acceptable to drop babies out of helicopters and then kamikaze those helicopters. Sure, 4kids. Sure. Actually, on the whole, this was one of the original series’ weirder episodes.
> 
> Dialga usually won’t mess with time. He won’t change it so Team Rocket never existed, for instance. It’s a very slippery slope. But put something like that in front of him, and he can’t not. There is a line. Once I decided the episode’s plot was going to be ‘reset’, so to speak, plus Pikachu’s backstory was explored in the first episode of Journeys, it practically wrote itself. Integrating the legendaries on top of that was easier than I thought it’d be, especially since, as Suicune said in the last episode, it’s always time travel.
> 
> (Disclaimer: It’s not always time travel. After this episode I’m cutting back on time travel stuff again.)


	48. Episode 47, Part 2 (The Kangaskhan Kid)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise stealth early second part for the holidays!

DD: this is absolutely 100% completely unfair.  
DD: i want a giant mecha kangaskhan!  
CS: Where did Team Rocket even find the money for this?  
[ADMIN] DW: Well, they *are* a criminal organisation.  
CS: I meant these three in particular.  
CS: Given that they’ve been following Ash for about half a year and have basically nothing to show for it, why haven’t they been fired by now?  
US: ashs been firing them  
US: usually up into space  
COT: wheeze  
DD: the robot blastoise was cool and all but this is much better!  
DD: i wonder if they do any giant mecha legendaries.  
COT: oh trust me this is just the start!  
COT: it’s like the rockets have an uninterruptible mecha supply.  
DD: i want it.  
[MOD] NM: Behave , Mew .  
DD: and i just know that this one’s gonna end up being destroyed…  
[ADMIN] DW: The previous timeline ended it with a helicopter.  
DD: no helicopters up here.  
DD: they’ve just got pure poképower.  
BN: That herd is xtaying too cloxe for comfort.  
BN: Xomeone needx to move them on.  
CS: If they were closer to me, I’d help, but I can’t get anywhere near them without being seen.  
CS: …watch it, Mew, the youngling’s waking up!  
DD: shit!  
DD: nononono this is a bad time to try to get to mom, stay where you  
DD: aagh!  
[ADMIN] DW: I…  
[ADMIN] DW: This may have been a miscalculation…  
[ADMIN] DW: Ash and the others weren’t strong enough to defeat the mecha last time.  
[ADMIN] DW: I thought the timeline would have diverted by now and it wouldn’t have been a problem.  
COT: boss!  
COT: it’s fine!  
COT: ‘cause *i* know how this ends!  
[ADMIN] DW: *What.*  
COT: keep an eye on pikachu!  
COT: 3.  
CS: They got her!  
COT: 2.  
DD: c’mon ash this is your  
DD: CELEBI WHY ARE YOU COUNTING DOWN  
COT: 1.  
US: seconds to blastoff  
COT: *triggered!*  
CS: Whoa!  
[MOD] NM: Whoa !  
DD: holy  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[ADMIN] DW: Okay.  
[ADMIN] DW: That is far too early for Pikachu to be learning Iron Tail.  
COT: :D  
BN: …  
BN: I don’t know why we’re xo xurprixed.  
BN: You put anybody’x back to the wall and they’re capable of anything.  
BN: Pikachu was raixed by Kangaxkhan.  
BN: It doexn’t xurprixe me that hix xeeing the youngling in danger brought about xuch a reaxion.  
DD: well, bang goes the mech…  
DD: i suppose i could salvage the bits…  
[MOD] NM: !blastoff  
[BOT] PB: La Team Rocket s’envole vers d’autres cieux!  
BN: @wonkyWindlass Why ix the bot xpeaking Kaloxian?  
[ADMIN] WW: ITS NOT  
BN: …  
US: damn it shouldve kept that fired joke  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[ADMIN] DW: In any case, I’m relieved to see that the situation has been resolved.  
[ADMIN] DW: In a way that doesn’t involve invasions of privacy, 2x4s, and a kamikaze.  
twiceMulticolored [TM] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave twiceMulticolored [TM] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] TM: I’m  
[MOD] TM: Oh, it’s all over.  
CS: What was Raikou attempting to do?  
[MOD] TM: He was attempting to install ‘cable TV’.  
[MOD] TM: Which he stole from somebody else.  
[MOD] TM: I made him put everything back where he found it.  
CS: Good grief.  
DD: hey so when they’re gone is it ok if i take these mech parts somewhere else and play jigsaw with them?  
DD: otherwise it’s just gonna get thrown away  
DD: and  
DD: and  
DD: um  
DD: what  
CS: What?  
[MOD] NM: Uh .  
COT: :D  
[ADMIN] DW:  
BN: Not xurprixed at thix either.  
BN: I know I haven’t been paying much attenxion to what Axh ix doing, but it’x not like thix ix an Axh-excluxive thing.  
BN: You prove you get thingx done, and people xtart following you.  
DD: that came in out of left field!  
DD: go on jenny!  
DD: even you can’t say no to that!  
CS: Well then.  
DD: whoo!  
US: well if ash is gonna be busy then im gonna do it  
US: kangaskhan get  
[BOT] PB: Da-da-da-do!  
[ADMIN] DW:  
[ADMIN] DW:  
[MOD] TM: …Dialga, I take it from your stunned silence that that did *not* happen last time.  
[ADMIN] DW: It did not.  
[ADMIN] DW: They simply bid the family and the herd goodbye and were in the process of leaving when I began my revision.  
[ADMIN] DW: I didn’t think that  
[ADMIN] DW: CELEBI  
COT: you rang boss?  
[ADMIN] DW: You.  
[ADMIN] DW: You knew this happened today.  
COT: well, not exactly, but i figured it might.  
COT: pikachu told me that he learned iron tail doing something like this.  
COT: and kiddo kangaskhan told me she came from somewhere around here.  
CS: Wait, so hold on.  
CS: You met…  
CS: Well, I guess now Ash’s Kangaskhan, when you were in the future, in your past.  
COT: you got that quick!  
CS: But… that future didn’t exist until a few hours ago?  
[ADMIN] DW: …oh.  
[ADMIN] DW: I’m ashamed of myself.  
[ADMIN] DW: How could I not have noticed?  
US: im lost  
[MOD] TM: I admit I am as well.  
[MOD] TM: Is there an explanation that’s easy for us to digest, or would we have to be time travellers to understand?  
COT: big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff.  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[ADMIN] DW: The easiest thing to say is that time requires maintenance.  
[ADMIN] DW: Sometimes things happen which sends events off-track, and one of us, usually Celebi, goes back into the past to correct it.  
[ADMIN] DW: I *thought* the change I made was a deviation from this, our ‘home’ timeline.  
[ADMIN] DW: In actuality I’d just slipped into an alternate timeline and the changes I made simply preserved this one.  
COT: basically, it’s weird time shit!  
[ADMIN] DW: …Yes, there’s really no good way to explain it without taking an exorbitant amount of time and patience on your part.  
DD: eh, tldr.  
DD: @wonkywindlass it’s all over now.  
[ADMIN] WW: HUH WHAT  
[ADMIN] WW: OH  
wonkyWindlass [WW] stopped streaming.  
DD: welp!  
DD: i’ll let you guys know if the warden’s an asshole and says no.  
DD: but ash has the jenny vouching for him so it should be good!  
COT: it better be!  
[MOD] NM: I Don’t Think The Rules Could Be Broken If The Kangaskhan Simply Follows Him All The Way To The Warden .  
[MOD] NM: The Capture Just Saves Her / Them From Having To Walk .  
CS: This ended up being another one of Ash’s weird things without us noticing…  
[MOD] TM: Well, I think from Ash’s perspective, it was just another day.  
[MOD] TM: Team Rocket attacked and they were dealt with appropriately.  
DD: oh yeah, just waiting for everybody to be out of sight and then i’m taking these bits!  
DD: i’ll hop back once i’ve secured them.  
US: where you gonna take em  
DD: dunno.  
US: bring em here  
US: youre gonna need a power source  
DD: ooh!  
CS: Oh no.  
BN: Xhould we really be letting them do that?  
[ADMIN] DW: The chances of them getting it working again are extremely slim.  
BN: It’x Mew and Tapu Koko.  
[ADMIN] DW: Only under Lunala’s supervision.  
US: shit  
DD: c’mon, really?  
[ADMIN] WW: JUST LET THEM HAVE IT DIALGA  
[ADMIN] WW: AS A PRESENT  
[ADMIN] WW: ITS THE RIGHT DAY FOR IT  
[ADMIN] DW: …What?  
[ADMIN] DW: I think you need to get your headache looked at, Giratina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT PRACTICALLY WROTE ITSELF.
> 
> Here’s a question for you: Who *is* the Kangaskhan Kid? Is it Tommy, who wants to protect them? Is it Pikachu, who grew up with them? Is it the Kangaskhan’s actual child? Or is it Ash, who now has one? You decide. [Meanwhile, aboard the canon train…](https://youtu.be/ZCsZR8JTlIo?t=138)
> 
> This chapter was posted on December 25, 2020. Thanks for 200 Kudos, and have happy holidays whatever you celebrate!


	49. Episode 48 (The Legend of Dratini)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday’s chapter was posted eleven hours earlier than usual. Don’t forget to check it out if you missed it!

DD: AGH   
DD: NONONO   
DD: DUMB DOG   
[MOD] TM: Ah.   
DD: DON’T AH ME!   
DD: NO   
DD: YOU SMELL NOTHING   
CS: I’m assuming Mew is the reason why the Warden’s Boltund is going berserk.   
[MOD] TM: Teethmarks on the legs.   
[MOD] TM: That makes sense.   
DD: I DON’T CARE THAT IT MAKES SENSE!   
DD: AGH   
DD: I’M A FEAROW YOU STUPID ANIMAL   
DD: DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO THUNDERBOLT ME I’LL PECK YOUR EYES OUT   
CS: Well, if all else fails, you could try rolling in dung to disguise your scent again.   
DD: ok, first off, ew!   
DD: second, i did that *once*, and that was an accident!   
[MOD] TM: You could always, I don’t know, leave.   
[MOD] TM: Ash doesn’t need to be babysat 24/7.   
CS: Um…   
CS: I’d like to point out that Ash nearly died both times we let him out of our sight before.   
[MOD] TM: He is with Misty, Brock and Elaine, all capable trainers, as well as the local Jenny and the Warden.   
[MOD] TM: He will be fine.   
DD: AGH   
DD: OKAY OKAY

* * *

[MOD] BB: It sounds like I missed an eventful day.   
[MOD] TM: You could put it like that.   
DD: 6 (six).   
[MOD] BB: I have to admit, when I think of Ash, ‘Kangaskhan’ is not the first sort of Pokémon that jumps to mind.   
[MOD] BB: But then again, neither does Muk or Litwick, so I suppose I’m just too unfamiliar with him.   
[MOD] TM: You know what my response to that is going to be.   
[MOD] BB: Yes, yes.   
[MOD] BB: How did, you, um.   
[MOD] BB: How did you tell Sir Aaron?   
[MOD] TM: I didn’t.   
[MOD] TM: He worked it out by himself.   
[MOD] TM: Of course, he was entering adulthood at that point.   
[MOD] TM: At the risk of sounding insulting, Ash is not, uh…   
DD: 7 (seven).   
DD: not the sharpest tool in the shed?   
[MOD] TM: I wasn’t going to put it so bluntly, but… yes.   
[MOD] BB: Inexperience and enthusiasm, that’s all it is.   
[MOD] BB: Every single one of us has been through that.   
[MOD] TM: I suppose you’re right.   
[MOD] TM: On the other wing, Sir Aaron had no way to talk to us.   
[MOD] TM: With the amount of times we’ve come close to mentioning it…   
[MOD] TM: Though if there’s one thing Ash does have that Sir Aaron didn’t, it’s patience.   
[MOD] TM: He may be trying to work it out in his head sometimes, but he doesn’t want to harass us about it.   
[MOD] BB: Small mercies.   
[MOD] TM: You’ll have to tell him sooner or later.   
[MOD] BB: He’s not ready yet.   
[MOD] BB: And…   
[MOD] BB: He’s got enough to think about at the moment. This business with your feather, the league challenge…   
[MOD] BB: I don’t want to distract him.   
[MOD] TM: Fair enough.   
DD: 8 (eight).   
DD: they’re on a roll here!   
[MOD] BB: …I forgot to ask.   
[MOD] BB: Why are you counting, exactly?   
DD: well, once they kicked team rocket outta there, they got permission to actually do the safari zone stuff.   
DD: they get given a total of 30 safari balls and just go wild.   
DD: ash and misty took seven each and brock and elaine took eight.   
DD: between them they’ve caught   
DD: 9 (nine) tauros.

* * *

UT: i uh   
UT: i kinda lost count in the end?   
DD: between all of you, 28 (twenty-eight).   
UT: oof   
UT: we are rubbish!   
[MOD] TM: It’s not like you came away from the day with nothing.   
[MOD] TM: You have a Kangaskhan and seven Tauros.   
UT: actually brock and misty gave theirs to me…   
DD: 21 (twenty-one) then!   
UT: wait, aside from the rhyhorn that brock caught and sent back to pewter, who else caught not a tauros???   
[MOD] TM: Elaine.   
DD: yeah, she joined misty at the lake and managed to find a slowpoke.   
UT: huh, she didn’t say that before she left to head to cinnabar.   
UT: this is the same lake that misty fished a tauros out of?   
DD: yeah…   
CS: It’s just occurred to me, but you never got a chance to battle Elaine, did you?   
UT: uh   
UT: wait, you’re right!   
UT: first we were concentrating on the gym, then it was the safari zone, and i just forgot!

* * *

[MOD] TM: Okay, settle down. I’ll provide a quick recap.  
[MOD] TM: Ash has been very busy with captures today.  
[MOD] TM: With the combination of his… hard work… and the ‘generosity’ of his friends…  
[MOD] TM: He has added a Kangaskhan and twenty-one Tauros to his team.  
GO: 21?????????  
TT: yowza  
[MOD] TM: Naturally, all of the Tauros have been sent back to Oak’s.  
[MOD] TM: Along with the seven other Tauros that Elaine caught.  
OG: NGL lab life looking less appealing now  
TT: wait  
TT: you’re scared of tauros  
TT: did not know that  
OG: I’m not  
TT: wait until moltres hears about this  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] fled the memo.  
OG: Sis  
OG: Fuck  
offensiveGlaceon [OG] fled the memo.  
GO: I’m sad I missed it!  
[MOD] TM: I should also mention that Elaine has now left to continue her own journey.  
[MOD] TM: There are no Pokémon gyms in the direction of Mt. Tensei.  
[MOD] TM: She seemed to be somewhat more focused than Ash is.  
CS: Well, she’s not a Rainbow Hero either.  
[MOD] TM: This is true.  
GO: Hmmm.  
GO: Just thinking about things.  
GO: He’s still quite a way from Mt. Tensei, and I hope he makes it before winter, but…  
[MOD] TM: What’s the matter?  
GO: I couldn’t say what he might encounter in the meantime, of course, but his next capture could be…  
GO: Well, you.  
[MOD] TM:  
[MOD] TM: I will cross that bridge when we come to it.  
CS: It’s strange to even consider that…  
CS: I mean, we are Pokémon. We’re not immune to being captured, even if we make it extremely difficult for the trainers.  
CS: And as Magearna proved, we can work side-by-side with them.  
CS: But after spending so long in the wild, is it really so easy?  
CS: Just giving up our freedom like that?  
[MOD] TM: I don’t think that’s the right way of looking at it, at least where Ash is concerned.  
[MOD] TM: There are unscrupulous humans out there who would no doubt seek to exploit our power.  
[MOD] TM: We all know Ash would never be one of them.  
[MOD] TM: It’s more of an… exchange.  
[MOD] TM: For a different kind of freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take out a gun. Replace it with a gundog. Result: One unbanned episode. And many Tauros.
> 
> For those who aren’t familiar with the early series, as mentioned in the note for part 1 of episode 47, this episode was banned in the West because of the Warden’s gun, which got pointed at both Ash and Team Rocket, and caused a major plothole when Ash got back to Pallet Town and 30 Tauros materialized out of thin air because he caught them in an episode that didn’t exist.
> 
> He’s still net down on canon by 9 Tauros, though, because seven of them are Elaine’s, Brock sent a Rhyhorn back to Pewter as an apology (he did walk off with two of their gym Pokémon after all), and Elaine again proved she’s slightly less rubbish than Ash at catching Pokémon. Only marginally, though. This is the point that his Tauros are still here to prove: Ash is hopelessly out of practice at competitively throwing Pokéballs at Pokémon that aren’t completely knocked out. Up until this point he’s done it exactly once - Caterpie. He fought to knockout Pidgeotto, Bulbasaur, Litwick, Primeape and Muk, Eevee was given to him, Charmander was a charity case and both Squirtle and Kangaskhan decided they just wanted to go with him.
> 
> One skipped episode next, which is Ditto’s Mysterious Mansion, so we move straight onto Episode 50, the requisite Eeveelution episode.


	50. Episode 50 (The Battling Eevee Brothers)

DD: oh no.  
DD: *this* place.  
GO: What’s up?  
DD: ‘evolution mountain’.  
DD: famed in kanto for being a source of all kinds of evolution stones.  
DD: i thought things couldn’t get worse after that whole ditto episode…  
TD: Well, yes, even *I* wish I could forget that happened.  
TD: Why the negative reaction here, though?  
TD: Aren’t evolution stones just fossilized… well, elemental items?  
DD: yeah.  
DD: but they generally need to get buried first.  
DN: Usually in lava.  
DN: Entei can attest.  
BG: Yes  
DD: evolution mountain ain’t a volcano.  
[MOD] NM: Oh No .  
[MOD] NM: This Is That Thing You Told Us About Before ?  
GO: Mew…?  
DD: no lava here.  
DD: just… something else.  
DD: which pretty much guaranteed anything buried in it was gonna get charged with evolution energy.  
DN: From the way you’re reacting, I’m guessing that ‘something else’ had something to do with you.  
DD: @ultimatetrainer yeah you’re probably gonna want to put that down.  
[ADMIN] WD: Oh, I wondered what became of that mess you made.  
DD: it’s been millions of years since then palkia!  
[ADMIN] WD: What?  
[ADMIN] WD: It’s not like I was particularly concerned about it.  
DD: you were concerned about it when i got it all over you as well!  
[ADMIN] WD: …  
[ADMIN] WD: Thanks a *lot*, Mew, I’d almost forgotten about that.  
[ADMIN] WD: I had to basically drown myself for a few years to get all of it out of the cracks.  
DD: hey, in my defense, the concept of drunkenness hadn’t been invented yet!  
[ADMIN] WD: You invented it that day!  
TD: What…?  
GO: Oh no.  
DD: look right, i had no idea what i was doing and it just tasted good!  
DD: how was i supposed to know what it would do?!  
[ADMIN] WD: I think we all expected you to know what your stomach could and couldn’t handle!  
BG: I don’t want to hear this  
blazingGlory [BG] fled the memo.  
DN: That’s disgusting, Mew.  
DN: Are you seriously implying that all of the evolution stones in this area were fossilized in your *vomit*?  
DD: it was a massive bender.  
TD: Oh my stars.  
GO: Well… I guess it *would* explain how the area got charged in evolution energy…  
US: the hills are alive  
US: with the sound of mew sick  
walkaboutDistributor [WD] kicked unabatedStimulus [US] from the memo. (Reason: Branching out, are we?)

* * *

tropicalWaterfall [TW] began pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].

TW: can I ask you a question?  
TM: Go on.  
TW: do you know why Ash gets so worked up when people ask him what he’ll evolve his Eevee into?  
TW: today’s not the first time it happened.  
TM: …  
TM: Chiefly, it’s down to one of our mutual friends, I don’t know if Ash has ever mentioned her handle, decibelDrama.  
TM: She considers herself an authority on evolution.  
TM: She is of the strong belief - and it is this belief that Ash has adopted - that a Pokémon’s evolution should always be up to them, and not their trainer.  
TW: …I don’t follow.  
TM: Hm.  
TM: Let me put it this way.  
TM: If you were an Eevee, what would you want to evolve into?  
TW: Vaporeon.  
TM: I suppose that answer should have been obvious, really…  
TM: But anyway.  
TM: You want to evolve into a Vaporeon.  
TM: It could be for any reason. You could prefer the Water-type. You could be attempting to emulate a family member. You could just not want to evolve into any of the others.  
TM: Your trainer evolves you into Flareon.  
TM: That’s it. You cannot go back. The door to your dream evolution has been slammed shut on you.  
TW: oh…  
TW: I guess… I never really thought about it like that…  
TM: Our friend has impressed upon Ash that it’s not up to him to decide when, or even *if*, Eevee evolves.  
TM: The same goes for Pikachu, and if she hasn’t forgotten I’ll imagine she’ll have the same to say about the potential for Litwick to reach Chandelure.  
TM: For some Pokémon, evolution is simply a part of life, like a large number of Bug-types and those classed as ‘baby’ Pokémon.  
TM: But it’s important to remember that Pokémon have been doing this for a lot longer than humans have been around.  
TW: …  
TW: I guess you’re right…  
TM: So the simple answer to your question is this.  
TM: He wants Eevee to be happy.  
TM: And if that would result in an evolution he himself would not have picked otherwise, then so be it.

* * *

UT: mew?  
DD: yahuh?  
UT: the thunderstone you gave me…  
UT: what other pokémon does it work on?  
DD: well, obviously pikachu - raichu and eevee - jolteon.  
DD: those two plus magneton - magnezone, eelektrik - eelektross, and charjabug - vikavolt.  
UT: …  
UT: i should probably have considered that out of those others i’ve only heard of magneton…  
DD: yeah, it’s not great.  
DD: mouse, fox-thing, magnet-thing, eel, and  
DD: uh  
DD: the only word that comes to mind for vikavolt is ‘ouch’?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TMI, Mew, TMI.
> 
> Given that Ash has an Eevee in this continuity, and he's been given The Talk by Mew, he's got a fairly strong reaction to forced evolution. It was already kind of a repeat of Lt. Surge's episode, but with more of a focus on choice. Somewhat conveniently, I got to and wrote this episode shortly after the Japanese airing of JN049, which is *also* an Eevee episode about much the same topic.
> 
> There really aren't a lot of options for Ash's Thunderstone. Raichu is right out, Eevee won't be going Jolteon, and Magnezone, Eelektross and Vikavolt don't really 'fit' Ash (says the guy who gave him a Litwick and a Kangaskhan). I think I know exactly what I'm going to do with it though.
> 
> Next episode... it's Porygon time. Oof.


	51. Episode 51 (Porygon, the Digital Monster)

WW: ~RECONNECT  
poryBot [PB] fled the memo.  
poryBot [PB] responded to [PORYBOT TESTING MEMO].  
poryBot [PB] assigned itself the ‘bot’ role.  
[BOT] PB: poryBot v2.5.2 initialized.  
WW: !AUTOTRANSCRIBE ON  
[BOT] PB: Autotranscribe function activated.  
WW: !AUTOTRANSCRIBE  
[BOT] PB: Autotranscribe function is currently [Enabled].  
WW: !AUTOTRANSCRIBE OFF  
[BOT] PB: Autotranscribe function deactivated.  
WW: !AUTOTRANSCRIBE  
[BOT] PB: Autotranscribe function is currently [Disabled].  
WW: OK GOOD  
WW: !AUTOTRANSCRIBE ON  
[BOT] PB: Autotranscribe function activated.  
WW: ~PLAYSOUNDFILE_TEST1  
[BOT] PB: Playing sound file “imashketchumfrompallettown.ogg”.  
[BOT] PB: [ASH] i mash ketchup from palette ow  
WW: WHAT  
WW: HOW IS THIS THE BEST STT SOFTWARE HUMANS MAKE  
WW: ~PLAYSOUNDFILE_TEST2  
[BOT] PB: Playing sound file “youdbetternotforgetaboutmybike.ogg”.  
[BOT] PB: [MISTY] yew tub butter offer getter bout my kite  
WW: REALLY  
WW: THAT WASNT EVEN CLOSE  
WW: DAMN  
WW: V252 UNSATISFACTORY  
WW: HM  
WW: AM I REALLY GOING TO HAVE TO CODE MY OWN STT  
WW: UGH THIS IS GOING TO TAKE WEEKS  
[Unregistered User] [UNREG] joined [PORYBOT TESTING MEMO].  
WW: WHAT  
UNREG: g- uh, windlass!  
WW: WHAT  
WW: WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY TESTING MEMO  
UNREG: it’s me!  
UNREG: ash!  
WW:  
WW:  
WW: ASH  
WW: WHY ARE YOU IN MY TESTING MEMO AND WHY ARE YOU UNREGISTERED NOW  
UNREG: there’s not much time to explain!  
UNREG: basically me and the others are stuck in a computer right now!  
UNREG: we’re under attack by an antivirus or something and we can’t get out!  
WW:  
WW: HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT  
UNREG: windlass!!!  
WW: OKAY  
WW: OKAY  
WW: BY THE OTHERS WHO DO YOU MEAN  
UNREG: it’s me, brock, misty, pikachu, and a porygon!  
WW: A  
WW: WHATS THE PORYGONS VERSION ADDRESS  
UNREG: what?  
WW: THE PORYGONS ID CODE  
WW: SOME WORDS FOLLOWED BY A V AND SOME NUMBERS  
UNREG: uh  
UNREG: akihabara.beta.v1.16  
WW: ~CONNECT(SLINK) AKIHABARA.BETA.V1.16  
[BOT] PB: Establishing connection…  
[BOT] PB: Connection confirmed.  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] akihabara.beta.v1.16 initialized.  
WW: AKIHABARA WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT IP ADDRESS  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] 555.173.27.1  
UNREG: what are you going to do?  
WW: IM GOING TO ESTABLISH A NEW MEMO AND HAVE YOU LOG IN  
WW: THAT SHOULD TRANSFER YOUR  
WW: UH  
WW: DATA OVER INTO THE MEMO SERVER  
WW: THEN WE CAN WORK ON GETTING YOU OUT  
UNREG: hurry!

* * *

wonkyWindlass [WW] created new memo EMERGENCY EXIT on board MESSAGING TEST BOARD.  
> Default setting modless board.

poryBot [PB] joined [EMERGENCY EXIT].  
poryBot [PB] assigned itself the ‘bot’ role.  
[BOT] PB: poryBot v2.5.2 initialized.  
WW: ~CONNECT(SLINK) AKIHABARA.BETA.V1.16  
[BOT] PB: Establishing connection…  
[BOT] PB: Connection confirmed.  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] akihabara.beta.v1.16 initialized.  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] Mirroring communication from 555.173.27.1.  
[Unregistered User] [UNREG] joined [EMERGENCY EXIT].  
WW: OKAY ASH YOURE GOING TO NEED TO LOG IN AS YOU NORMALLY WOULD  
UNREG: uh, how?  
UNREG: we don’t have our phones in here?  
WW: HOW DID YOU EVEN GET ON HERE THEN  
UNREG: i don’t know!  
UNREG: i just thought i could really use your help because you know more about computers than anyone else i know!  
UNREG: and suddenly it worked!  
WW: OH  
WW: UH  
WW: ~MODIFY(SLINK) SENDLOGINPORTAL  
[BOT] PB: Handshaking with Akihabara.Beta.V1.16…  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] Login portal established.  
UNREG: okay that worked!  
wonkyWindlass [WW] invited ultimateTrainer [UT] to the memo.  
WW: ONLY YOU NEED TO LOG IN AND THAT SHOULD CREATE A WINDOW THAT GETS THE OTHERS IN  
WW: ASH  
UNREG: i’m trying!  
UNREG: it says access denied!  
WW: WHAT  
WW: HOLD ON  
WW: #LOGINSETUP  
SYSTEM: Invalid command.  
WW: SH  
WW: UH CRAP  
UNREG: what???  
WW: THIS BOARD ISNT SET UP FOR YOU OR YOUR FRIENDS TO ACCESS IT  
WW: IT WANTS AN INTERNAL LOGIN  
UNREG: can’t you give me an internal login?  
WW: IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT ASH  
WW: INTERNAL LOGINS ONLY EXIST FOR US  
WW: ITS SOMETHING IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET AROUND FOR YEARS  
WW: I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW YOU DID IT  
UNREG: oh, uh  
UNREG: we can hear you by the way!  
WW: OH  
WW: UH  
WW: UM  
UNREG: you managed to create that other board for us!  
WW: YES BUT THAT TOOK WEEKS OF WORK  
UNREG: gah!  
UNREG: just do something!  
UNREG: we’re running out of time!  
WW: IM THINKING IM THINKING  
WW: HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE CANT YOU GET OUT THAT WAY  
UNREG: no!  
UNREG: we think team rocket somehow closed it when they went out!  
WW: AKIHABARA DO YOU HAVE NO EMERGENCY EXIT PROTOCOL  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] Emergency Exit Protocol was designed for Porygon unit use only.  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] Data integrity of organic transfer not guaranteed.  
WW: GAH  
UNREG: it’s almost here!  
WW:  
WW:  
WW:  
WW: WAIT MAYBE  
WW: IF I  
UNREG: windlass!!!  
WW: OKAY  
WW:  
WW: IM SORRY ABOUT THIS  
WW: BUT IVE GOT NO CHOICE  
WW: #ACCRESET 38  
SYSTEM: Account No. 38 reset.  
SYSTEM: Searching for user…  
WW: #LOGINRANGE(EXPAND)  
SYSTEM: Expanding search tolerance…  
WW: #LOGINRANGE(192.173.27.1)  
SYSTEM: Focusing search…  
UNREG: giratina!  
SYSTEM: Located user. Awaiting authentication…  
UNREG: it wants a password  
WW: ASH  
WW: THE PASSWORD IS ASH  
SYSTEM: User authenticated. Logging in…  
Unregistered User [UNREG] logged in as beastieBirb [BB].  
tropicalWaterfall [TW] joined [EMERGENCY EXIT].  
unassumingBoulder [UB] joined [EMERGENCY EXIT].  
025_Pikachu joined [EMERGENCY EXIT].  
137_Porygon joined [EMERGENCY EXIT].  
BB: phew!  
BB: looks like that worked!  
BB: thanks!  
BB: whoa, this is weird…  
BB: uh  
BB: why am i using lu- bb’s account?  
WW: HE WASNT USING IT  
WW: I WAS CORRECTING AN ISSUE ON IT EARLIER  
WW: AND  
WW: REMEMBERED HIS ACCOUNT NUMBER  
BB: oh ok.  
UB: This is all well and good, but how do we get out of here?  
WW: AKIHABARA  
WW: CAN YOU USE YOUR EMERGENCY EXIT PROTOCOL TO REESTABLISH WHATEVER IT WAS THAT ALLOWED THE ORGANICS ACCESS  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] Server IP required.  
WW: 493.487.0.1  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] Server located.  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] Initiating Emergency Exit Protocol…  
137_Porygon fled the memo.  
[BOT] PB: [S-LINK] akihabara.beta.v1.16 unloaded.  
[BOT] PB: System Link deactivated.  
WW: ITLL BE BACK SOON  
BB: thanks for saving us, windlass!  
WW: DONT MENTION IT  
WW: SERIOUSLY DONT  
WW: ILL GET IN BIG TROUBLE FOR DOING WHAT I JUST DID  
TW: …  
TW: Ash, why did you say ‘Giratina’ a minute ago?  
BB: i  
BB: i uh  
BB: i did?  
WW: THATS ME  
TW: what?  
WW: I  
WW: UH  
WW: LIKE TO ROLEPLAY SOMETIMES  
BB: …yeah!  
BB: a lot of my friends like roleplaying actually!  
BB: mostly as legendary pokémon!  
UB: Why did you never mention this before?  
BB: because… i… wasn’t sure how you guys would react!  
137_Porygon responded to [EMERGENCY EXIT].  
BB: oh, it’s back!  
BB: come on, pikachu!  
WW: AND NOW IVE GOT TO TRY AND GIVE BB HIS ACCOUNT BACK  
beastieBirb [BB] fled the memo.  
025_Pikachu fled the memo.  
tropicalWaterfall [TW] fled the memo.  
unassumingBoulder [UB] fled the memo.  
137_Porygon fled the memo.  
WW:  
WW:  
WW: GAH  
WW: #ACCRESET 38  
SYSTEM: Unable to reset Account No. 38.  
SYSTEM: Please allow 24 hours to pass since the previous reset before trying again.  
WW: SHIIIIT  
WW: WHY DID I CODE YOU LIKE THIS

* * *

DD: ok, but… why?  
UT: i dunno, it just…  
UT: we just dumped a load of tauros at the lab!  
UT: it’s like an apology!  
[MOD] TM: Ash, what exactly happened in there?  
UT: i can’t remember.  
DD: really???  
UT: really!  
UT: i mean, i told you about the first bit with the porygon, right?  
UT: stuff happened, there were a bunch of flashing lights, and…  
UT: we all just woke up on the floor with headaches.  
UT: and team rocket were gone, but they left their porygon behind.  
UT: akihabara said we could keep it, and i figured professor oak could do with an assistant.  
TT: you’re just weird ash  
UT: you’re one to talk!  
TT: oh snap  
dantesNferno [DN] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
DN: Does anyone know why Lugia’s having problems?  
DN: He says he can’t join any memos, or message anyone directly.  
DN: He’s completely locked out.  
UT: uh…  
TT: how’d he tell you then  
DN: He moved his mouth and tongue to produce an effect known technically as speaking.  
DD: lmao  
TT: wait  
TT: lugia’s got problems  
TT: this means he can’t tell what we’re planning  
TT: quick mol let’s snag ice island  
DN: …  
DN: Alright, fine.  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] fled the memo.  
dantesNferno [DN] fled the memo.  
DD: ash, you know i’m basically right there.  
DD: you don’t look like you don’t remember!  
UT: look mew, it’s been a long day and i’m tired.  
UT: can we talk about this some other time?  
DD: you’d better not forget, ash ketchum!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re somehow not aware of the legacy of this episode and why it’s only ever been shown once, this is the basic background. Anime used to involve a lot of flashing lights, especially where Pikachu’s attacks were concerned. During this episode, one of these flashing segments finally burst the dam as it were and gave kids in Japan epileptic attacks. You ever see those disclaimers at the beginning of subbed anime where they tell you to watch in a well-lit room sat well back from the TV? It’s because of this episode. As a result, the anime went into a broadcast hiatus while the animators hurried to change all of the similar scenes in previous and yet-to-air episodes, several episodes that followed got shunted out of position, and even though it was Pikachu who did the attack, Porygon got blamed for it and has never appeared in the anime again.
> 
> While the ultimate correction for that would be for Ash to take a Porygon on his team, I made the decision to send one to Professor Oak. I wanted to mix things up a bit. Porygon seems more like a professor’s Pokémon, no?
> 
> As mentioned previously way back in the notes for episode 20, the next canon episode - Pikachu’s Goodbye - isn’t happening. The episode that was *meant* to be next in canon, Holiday Hi-Jynx, isn’t happening either, mostly because Ash and his friends go to the North Pole and meet Santa just for the sake of a Christmas episode, which doesn’t make sense even where it was originally. So the actual next episode introduces us to a familiar friend with a microphone…
> 
> Meanwhile, since Palkia and Dialga have already shown their chops in previous episodes, it’s time Giratina got a spotlight as resident technology wizard, even if that means I have to make some stuff up that looks vaguely like workable computer code. Even though barely any computers are involved.


	52. Episode 52 (The Song of Jigglypuff)

[MOD] TM: This seems like a rather… odd place for a city such as this.   
GO: What do you mean?   
[MOD] TM: Big flashy cities like these are more in keeping with the deserts of Orre than nestled in the foothills of the Raizen Range.   
[MOD] TM: I wonder what made them build here.   
DN: There are no deserts in Kanto.   
CS: Huh.   
CS: I could have sworn that   
DN: *There are no deserts in Kanto.*

* * *

DD: this is like  
DD: the opposite of that place with the stupid name.  
GO: You mean the one with the Hypno?  
DD: yeah.  
DD: what was it called?  
GO: Hophophop Town.  
SW: -|===> You’re… going to have to fill me in on that one.  
DD: some guys were using a hypno to try and sleep better only they were putting all the town’s pokémon to sleep and making kids think they were pokémon.  
DD: ngl had some pretty weird dreams that day.  
SW: -|===> …  
SW: -|===> Just…  
SW: -|===> How much have I missed?  
[MOD] TM: Reshiram has taken it upon himself to collate the old logs into summaries of sorts.  
[MOD] TM: If you ask him, he should be able to catch you up.  
GO: Huh.  
GO: It’s been a while since Reshiram’s been in here, hasn’t it?  
[MOD] TM: Most of Unova has been remarkably busy this year.  
[MOD] TM: Although they do count among their number Cobalion, who is trying to prevent any of the Swords or Keldeo from joining in,  
[MOD] TM: The Forces of Nature, who legitimately do not care,  
[MOD] TM: And Kyurem, ever the pessimist, who thinks we’re all wasting our time.  
DD: not to mention dicktini.  
GO: I know I’ve seen Meloetta in here a couple of times as well, but she’s never said anything.  
SW: -|===> Uh, actually, I know the answer to that one.  
GO: You do?  
SW: -|===> She’s been trying to come up with a sort of theme song for Ash’s adventure for a while.  
DD: oh, neat!  
SW: -|===> She comes to the Galarian memo a lot to complain about it.  
SW: -|===> Something about having the tune but not the words.  
DD: @octetmelody get in here and lets do some brainstorming!  
[MOD] TM: I’m afraid I’m not going to be much help.  
[MOD] TM: Tone deaf.  
octetMelody [OM] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
OM: You know I like my songs to be my own work, Mew~  
DD: i know!  
DD: but hey, the last thing any of us want is to see you get stuck!  
DD: i know you agree with me @crystallineslush!  
CS: Huh what?  
DD: where’re you at mels? i’ll pop over and have a listen.  
OM: Home~  
DD: ah gotcha.  
GO: What are the chances that Ash is going to get up to some shenanigans while she’s gone?  
[MOD] TM: I wouldn’t put it past him.  
[MOD] TM: You seemed distracted, Suicune.  
CS: Yes…  
CS: I spotted Team Rocket.  
CS: They’re encountering the same difficulties as the others did earlier.  
SW: -|===> Who?  
GO: Oh boy.  
GO: So Team Rocket are kind of this organized crime gang.  
GO: Ash has encountered the gang members a few times.  
GO: Suicune is talking about a specific trio - Jessie, James, and a human-speaking Meowth - who’ve been stalking Ash basically since Day 1 trying to capture Pikachu.  
SW: -|===> Since Day 1…  
SW: -|===> Wait.  
SW: -|===> Wasn’t that several months ago?!  
CS: Yes.  
GO: Pikachu’s not normal, we established that ages ago too, but they’re obsessed!  
CS: Thankfully for the most part they’re hopelessly incompetent.  
CS: Aside from a… certain incident… that I won’t mention, they’ve not been successful at all.  
GO: And Ash and his friends usually beat them and launch them into the sky.  
SW: -|===> But how do they land?  
[MOD] TM: We don’t know.  
CS: All evidence seems to indicate they don’t.  
CS: I mean, I’ve tried following them, Azelf’s tried following them, Mew’s tried following them…  
CS: Every time, we’ve lost sight of them for less than five seconds and they’re on the ground only slightly worse for the wear.  
DD: huh.  
DD: that’s really neat!  
OM: Thank you~  
DD: i can see why it’s frustrating though.  
GO: ?  
DD: i don’t really think shouting POKÉMON every other line works either.  
DD: let’s give this some thinking!  
[MOD] TM: A word of advice, Meloetta.  
[MOD] TM: Don’t let her think for too long.  
[MOD] TM: Things start exploding.  
OM: I’m well aware of that~

* * *

[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: Is it just me, or has Suicune been very quiet for a while now?  
GO: Huh?  
DD: wait no, that’s it.  
DD: that first bit, and then ‘a pokémon master to be’.  
OM: Ah~ That’s the final goal~  
OM: A Pokémon Master to be~  
OM: Yes that works~  
[MOD] TM: @crystallineSlush  
GO: She’s still in the memo, right?  
[MOD] TM: Yes…  
[MOD] TM: @crystallineSlush @crystallineSlush  
CS:  
CS:  
CS: cmon dad five more minutes  
[MOD] TM: ?  
DD: uh what?  
[MOD] TM: @crystallineSlush @crystallineSlush @crystallineSlush  
CS: GAH  
GO: Um, were you asleep?  
CS: Wha  
CS: Huh?  
DD: crap i’m omw back.  
DD: omg  
DD: pfft  
DD: hahahahahahahaha  
[MOD] TM: What?  
[MOD] TM: Mew!  
DD: sorry  
DD: but you gotta see this  
DD: sorry @ultimatetrainer i’m borrowing your phone!  
DD: upload this image when you wake up!  
GO: Uh…  
CS: GAH  
DD: whoops, flash.  
GO: How do you know how to unlock Ash’s phone?  
DD: saw him put the code in over his shoulder.  
DD: …  
DD: ash you gotta not leave your phone logged in like this!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
ultimateTrainer [UT] uploaded file "suisui.jpg".  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
GO: LOL  
[MOD] TM: That’s… something.  
SW: -|===> …  
OM: Is that a  
OM: Is that a moustache and a monocle~?  
SW: -|===> That’s the most unbelievably Galarian thing I’ve ever seen.  
CS: …  
CS: This is embarrassing.  
CS: I’m going to go and find a river and hope that this isn’t permanent marker.  
crystallineSlush [CS] fled the memo.  
DD: yeah so there’s a jigglypuff here and she’s mad af right now.  
DD: three guesses as to why everybody’s napping.  
[MOD] TM: Hmmm.  
DD: sec gonna load up with a worry seed, get disguised and see what’s going on.  
GO: I feel really sorry for Suicune.  
GO: She volunteers to keep an eye on Ash and no matter how far away she does it from she always seems to get unlucky.  
SW: -|===> This is a common occurrence?  
[MOD] TM: Yes…  
[MOD] TM: She does unfortunately seem to be somewhat of an attack magnet.  
[MOD] TM: It’s unlikely, but @crystallineSlush you don’t know Follow Me, correct?  
DD: oh boy.  
GO: ?  
DD: this girl doesn’t understand the difference between singing and singing with a capital letter.  
OM: The difference~?  
OM: You just  
OM: Sing without the intention of putting anyone to sleep~  
SW: -|===> Unless it’s a lullaby, presumably.  
DD: yeah i know that!  
DD: but this jigglypuff doesn’t!  
DD: she also drew over all their faces when they fell asleep, which is very funny.  
[MOD] TM: Is it permanent marker?  
DD: no, it’s just a sharpie.  
DD: with ‘ash ketchum age 6’ on a sticker on the side.  
DD: so how she got it to work on fur i’ve got no idea.  
DD: crap the humans are waking up, i’ve got to move.  
SW: -|===> Excuse me if this is a common situation, but how could a Jigglypuff get to where it is -  
SW: -|===> Presumably from evolving from Igglybuff -  
SW: -|===> And not understand a move which is basically a signature of its species?  
[MOD] TM: I think we’d need clarification.  
[MOD] TM: More specifically, whether she legitimately doesn’t understand, or refuses to.

* * *

DD: @ultimatetrainer just gonna let you know you’re being followed.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: what?  
UT: is it the rockets already?  
DD: nah.  
DD: it’s jigglypuff.  
GO: Oh no.  
GO: Is *this* going to become a thing as well?  
UT: huh.  
UT: can’t see her back there…  
DD: ash you idiot don’t turn around!  
DD: how’re you gonna explain it to misty and brock?  
UT: oh yeah.  
DD: anyway!  
DD: actually she’s really grateful that misty helped her with her singing problem!  
UT: neat!  
DD: too grateful.  
DD: basically what she wants is to show misty that the problem’s over by singing to her.  
DD: except she can’t understand that sing is making misty fall asleep and gets upset about that.  
GO: Oh, so that’s what it is.  
OM: A familiar story, unfortunately~  
OM: Even when inspiration strikes, if there is no audience, it is worthless~  
[MOD] TM: Respectfully, I disagree.  
[MOD] TM: I’ve inspired many people over my lives.  
[MOD] TM: Some of them, yes, they need their work to be seen, heard, touched.  
[MOD] TM: But for others the sheer epiphany is enough.  
OM: I suppose that’s true~  
OM: In which case I defer to you~  
DD: nice.  
DD: anyway that’s the rub.  
DD: if you could get bulbasaur learning worry seed then that might help?  
[MOD] TM: Or even a Pokéflute, such as the one you encountered previously.  
UT: oh yeah.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
DD: whoops!  
GO: What?  
DD: misty slapped him for not paying attention to where he was walking.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: Did you deliberately ping him for a response while he was on the move?  
DD: maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While it would be very interesting to follow through on Misty’s attempt to capture Jigglypuff, I’d be depriving the series of a running gag, and she’s very shortly going to be obtaining a certain egg anyway. Fun fact: In canon, this episode supposedly takes place during the short period of time when Charmeleon is around, except Charmeleon makes no appearance whatsoever.
> 
> Meloetta is trying to find English lyrics that fit the first JP opening theme, Mezase Pokémon Master. While the dub theme is certainly iconic, it does a typical Western thing of assuming that the audience have the attention span of a goldfish and are going to forget what they’re watching after five seconds, so they have to keep repeating the word ‘Pokémon’ to remind them. (Remember the Detective Pikachu movie? That had to have the word Pokémon prefixed onto the front because they were afraid people wouldn’t know what franchise it was from. Yeah.)
> 
> Meanwhile I move an entire city because there are no deserts in Kanto, and otherwise Neon Town is just a thinly veiled Las Vegas reference, hence the Orre mention.


	53. Episode 53 (Dig Those Diglett)

NN: zZz What was the context zZz  
UB: They’re preventing workmen from building a dam.  
NN: zZz Of course zZz  
NN: zZz What are the environmental impact plans zZz  
NN: zZz Have the local Pokémon been considered zZz  
UB:  
UB: I assume they must have.  
NN: zZz Probably not then zZz  
NN: zZz Its always the same zZz  
NN: zZz Construction projects always go ahead without any thought to the Pokémon whove been living there for longer than humansve been around zZz  
NN: zZz A dam especially zZz  
NN: zZz The reservoirs always destroy natural habitats zZz  
NN: zZz Any Pokémon downriver suffer from the lower water flow zZz  
NN: zZz Ancient trees are replaced with a mountain of metal and concrete zZz  
NN: zZz Im entirely unsurprised that the Diglett and Dugtrio are doing something about it zZz  
NN: zZz If I were there Id be supporting them zZz  
NN: zZz Uh zZz  
NN: zZz Sorry I feel really strongly about these things zZz  
UB: …  
UB: I’ll check with the foreman.

* * *

TM: Do you remember what I said before?  
TM: Pokémon have been doing this for a lot longer than humans have been around.  
TM: They know when a major injustice is being done to their fellows, even if they have no prior connection with them.  
TW: I remember.  
TW: but…  
TW: I know Ash’s Primeape has managed to jump out of its ball a few times, as has  
TW: ugh  
TW: Psyduck, but refusing to leave them?  
TM: I would be in the dark there, I’m afraid. I’ve not much use for Pokéballs.  
TM: I work more with wild Pokémon.  
TM: But it would be wise not to underestimate sheer willpower.  
TM: That said…  
TM: You mentioned a few Pokémon did try to assist in removing the Diglett?  
TW: yeah.  
TM: Then you should avoid those trainers at all costs.  
TW: wh  
TW: why?  
TM: All  
TM: Well, *most* Pokémon have a good sense for morality.  
TM: If a Pokémon is willing to help its trainer destroy another’s habitat…  
TW: …the trainers must be pretty bad as well…  
TM: It’s only an inferral, of course.  
TM: I have heard claims that there are no bad Pokémon, only bad humans, but in my experience they’re untrue.  
TM: There’s always the possibility that the trainers have no idea what their Pokémon are attempting to do.  
TM: Which is arguably worse, since it would mean they have no control over their Pokémon at all.  
TW: no, I get it.  
TW: this is gonna be a huge mess to clear up afterwards though.  
TW: it would be so much easier if we could just talk to the Diglett…  
TM: If only.

* * *

DD: good grief this diglett has the dirtiest mouth i’ve ever heard!  
UT: don’t all digletts have mouths full of dirt?  
DD: not what i meant, ash.

* * *

CS: Should we be congratulating the Rockets on their Pokémon evolving?  
CS: It seemed like a very emotional moment.  
[MOD] CW: most (natural evolutions) tend to be (emotional)  
CS: It is a point in their favor.  
CS: They weren’t forcing them.  
DD: yeah!  
DD: say what you will about them but it’s not like they were pressuring their pokémon or anything!  
SW: -|===> I’d like to say that I’m extremely glad that’s not a Galarian Weezing.  
SW: -|===> I hate those things.  
[MOD] CW: (fairy-type) woes  
SW: -|===> Hateful, hateful smog machines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s amazing how much an episode can derail when the Pokémon can just tell you what’s going on. Or swear at you, I guess.
> 
> Pictured: Humans talking to Pokémon about Pokémon without realizing they're talking to Pokémon. This is one of the reasons I resisted having Aaron's Lucario join Ash straight off the bat - as the only individual on the twerp team who could speak to both humans and Pokémon, he'd end up just being used as a translator for most of his appearances, like Meowth.


	54. Episode 54, Part 1 (Snow Way Out)

sevenStar [SS] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
SS: theres trouble  
DN: What’s the matter?  
SS: ash is missing  
TT: weren’t you in his shadow  
TT: how can he lose his shadow  
TT: unless he’s like  
TT: on the sun or something  
TT: always a possibility with that nonsense of direction  
TT: quick where’s solgaleo  
SS: were getting close to tensei  
SS: theres stuff i always do before we get there  
SS: i told ash to stay put  
SS: when i came back i couldnt find him  
SS: or the others  
[MOD] SC: @ultimateTrainer  
SS: i already tried that  
[MOD] SC: It can’t hurt to try again.  
[MOD] SC: It could be that he simply can’t  
[MOD] SC: …access his phone at the moment.  
[MOD] SC: Sorry, it’s really cold up here for some reason.  
[MOD] SC: Wasn’t Mew hanging around Ash as well?  
SS: no shes asleep  
TT: damn catnaps

* * *

UB: Has Ash contacted you at all?  
[MOD] NN: zZz Not recently why zZz  
UB: We got separated from him and he’s not responding to our messages.  
DS: hes probably just doing another ash thing  
UB: On a mountain, in the middle of a blizzard?  
DS: huh  
DS: weathers great where we are

* * *

CS: I’m concerned he’s doing something stupid again.  
CS: Like what happened on the first day.  
CS: Every time we’ve lost all contact with Ash something bad has happened.  
CS: This storm is absolutely atrocious.  
TM: Keep looking.  
TM: With any luck, we can figure this out before Lugia gets wind of it.

* * *

BB: I don’t know how you expect me to put this any plainer.  
BB: Ice Island has one inhabitant.  
BB: You.  
BB: It is of consequence to absolutely nobody that Moltres has graffitied the mountainside.  
OG: But  
OG: It says ‘Property of Moltres’  
BB: Yes, you said.  
BB: But he only did it to rile you up.  
BB: It does not give you permission to write ‘Property of Zapdos’ on Fire Island to get him to attack your sister.  
OG: Hmph  
OG: Shouldn’t have worked anyway  
OG: I did it with Ice Beam  
OG: Bro’s getting  
OG: Getting  
OG:  
OG:  
BB: Articuno?  
OG:  
OG: ?  
OG:  
OG: !

offensiveGlaceon [OG] stopped pestering beastieBirb [BB].

* * *

offensiveGlaceon [OG] began pestering decibelDrama [DD].

OG: MEW  
OG: @DECIBELDRAMA @DECIBELDRAMA @DECIBELDRAMA  
DD: wha  
DD: i was asleep!  
OG: THERE’S  
OG: SOMETHING  
OG: I  
DD: whoa calm down!  
DD: what’s the matter?  
OG: I can feel something weird  
OG: And  
OG: I think it has to do with Ash  
DD: what do you mean?  
OG: It’s like  
OG: An ache at the back of my head  
OG: Mew  
OG: I remembered what Ash’s Pokédex said about me  
DD: what?  
OG: I think  
OG: I  
OG: Mew I think I just found my freezing-to-death radar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Year’s Eve, and a cliffhanger. Guess we’ll find out what's happening to Ash next year…
> 
> This is one of the holiday 1997 episodes (nice message there, having Ash almost freezing to death) that got punted out of position by the Porygon Incident. It ended up airing as a special in October 1998, which must've been jarring at the time because Charmander appeared despite having been Charizard for going on four months by that point.
> 
> Four chapters left until we hit the I Choose You mid-season triple header, and I *think* I'm going to finish it on time? I've not got work over this weekend so hopefully I'll be able to finish them and run them smoothly. If not, well, it's a movie modification, so I think I can be excused a little bit of a posting break before them if I need it. After those three episodes, there'll be another hiatus while I build up a filler episode backlog again.


	55. Episode 54, Part 2 (Snow Way Out)

ASH: still no signal…   
ASH: guess there’s not gonna be a rescue tonight…   
ASH: pikachu, *please*.   
PIKACHU: No!   
PIKACHU: It’s not happening!   
ASH: pikachu…   
ASH: …   
ASH: why?   
ASH: wouldn’t you rather be warm inside your pokéball?   
PIKACHU: Why?!   
PIKACHU: Because I don’t want to be trapped inside while I know you’re out here freezing!   
PIKACHU: And you know the others felt the same way!   
PIKACHU: Day one, just outside of Pallet Town, you said it.   
PIKACHU: ‘We can be Pokémon Masters together’.   
PIKACHU: I know you were just making stuff up to get me to listen but there was something about the way you said it and I believed you!   
ASH: …   
PIKACHU: I don’t even know why I’m ranting!   
PIKACHU: You don’t understand what I’m saying anyway!   
PIKACHU: But the others…   
PIKACHU: You didn’t even say it to them, and they believe you too!   
ASH: GAH   
ASH: g-guys?   
SQUIRTLE: What he said   
EEVEE: Yeah!   
PIDGEOTTO: More to the point:   
PIDGEOTTO: We believe *in* you.   
ASH: guys…   
PIKACHU: (Kangaskhan, you too?)   
PIKACHU: (Isn’t your kid going to…)   
JUNIOR: i’m right here   
KANGASKHAN: Our last winter was just as harsh.   
KANGASKHAN: We will be fine.   
KANGASKHAN: Ash, however…   
SQUIRTLE: Bulbasaur   
BULBASAUR: Guh!   
BULBASAUR: Yeah, sure.   
BULBASAUR: (You didn’t need to kick me!)   
ASH: guys, i…   
ASH: thanks…   
ASH: guess we’ll be   
ASH: guess we’ll be cold together…   
ASH: …   
ASH: …   
ASH: …charmander?   
PIKACHU: Charmander!   
CHARMANDER: w   
CHARMANDER: w   
CHARMANDER: wh   
EEVEE: He’s burning himself out!   
PIKACHU: Charmander, stop!   
KANGASKHAN: Get him over this side.   
KANGASKHAN: I’ve got more than enough body heat for all of us.   
ASH: charmander…   
CHARMANDER: i   
CHARMANDER: i   
CHARMANDER: i   
CHARMANDER: i   
SQUIRTLE: Crap I know what this is   
SQUIRTLE: He’s havin a panic attack   
SQUIRTLE: Snap out of it buddy   
CHARMANDER: i   
CHARMANDER: i   
ASH: …   
ASH: …   
ASH: …this is   
ASH: about cross, isn’t it   
JUNIOR: who’s cross?   
EEVEE: (I’ll tell you later!)   
ASH: you don’t want… me to leave either…   
CHARMANDER: ash   
CHARMANDER: you   
CHARMANDER: you cant   
ASH: just go back in your… pokéball.   
ASH: you’ll be safer there.   
CHARMANDER: no   
PIDGEOTTO: Charmander, I know this is hard.   
PIDGEOTTO: But if you tire yourself out trying to keep Ash warm, then…   
CHARMANDER: i   
CHARMANDER: i dont care   
CHARMANDER: if it has to   
CHARMANDER: be one of us then   
CHARMANDER: its me   
PIKACHU: Don’t say things like that!   
PIKACHU: We’re going to be fine!   
CHARMANDER: but   
CHARMANDER: are we   
SQUIRTLE: Sure we are bud   
ASH: …   
ASH: charmander…   
ASH: we’re gonna make it through this.   
ASH: i won’t leave you.   
ASH: i promise.   
CHARMANDER: dont   
CHARMANDER: dont   
CHARMANDER: dont make a promise   
CHARMANDER: that you cant keep   
KANGASKHAN: ?   
KANGASKHAN: Huddle in tighter, everyone!   
EEVEE: (Ow!)   
PIDGEOTTO: (Sorry!)   
BULBASAUR: I’m trying.   
SQUIRTLE: Yeah you’re very trying   
BULBASAUR: Are we really going to do this now?   
CHARMANDER: dont make a   
CHARMANDER: dont   
PIKACHU: Charmander!!!   
ASH: hey. charmander.   
CHARMANDER: w   
CHARMANDER: what   
ASH: you know… me by now, right…?   
ASH: when i make a promise…   
ASH: i keep it.   
CHARMANDER: do   
CHARMANDER: do you   
CHARMANDER: really mean that   
ASH: of course i mean it.   
PIKACHU: Of course he does!   
PIKACHU: Now get over here before you   
PIKACHU: ?   
SQUIRTLE: ?   
BULBASAUR: ?   
PIDGEOTTO: ?   
KANGASKHAN: ?   
EEVEE: ?   
JUNIOR: ?   
CHARMANDER: then   
PIKACHU: Ash, did you just   
PIKACHU: Whoa!   
EEVEE: Whoa!   
SQUIRTLE: About time   
JUNIOR: momma, what’s happening?   
KANGASKHAN: Cover your ears, sweetie.   
ASH: …!   
PIKACHU: You…   
CHARMELEON: then youd better FUCKING keep it   
CHARMELEON: now get over here   
EEVEE: Whoooooaaa…   
ASH: …thanks, charma- charmeleon.   
BULBASAUR: Watch where you’re putting that tail.   
CHARMELEON: sorry bulbasaur   
CHARMELEON: and   
CHARMELEON: sorry for swearing   
KANGASKHAN: Honey, you earned it.   
JUNIOR: earned what   
KANGASKHAN: I’ll tell you when you’re older.   
EEVEE: That settles it.   
EEVEE: When we get out of here, we’re having an evolution party!   
SQUIRTLE: Always knew you had it in you   
CHARMELEON: everything feels tingly   
PIDGEOTTO: It’ll wear off.   
PIDGEOTTO: Enjoy it while it lasts.   
PIDGEOTTO: Just don’t do what I did, you’re not invincible.   
EEVEE: What did you do?   
PIDGEOTTO: Flew into a tree.   
EEVEE: Ohhh.   
CHARMELEON: there arent any trees in here   
PIKACHU: …   
PIKACHU: Sorry, I know this is unexpected, but   
PIKACHU: Can we go back to where we were a few moments ago?   
PIKACHU: Where Ash directly responded to something Charmander said?   
SQUIRTLE: Oh yeah   
ASH: ah!   
ASH: careful!   
KANGASKHAN: Oh, my fault.   
PIKACHU: Ash?   
ASH: gah   
ASH: yeah, pikachu?   
PIKACHU: Can you… understand us?   
ASH: …?   
BULBASAUR: Must’ve been a fluke.   
BULBASAUR: He guessed.   
PIKACHU: …   
ASH: …?   
ASH: you’re looking at me… kinda funny, buddy.   
ASH: i know… it’s a surprise, right?   
PIKACHU: …   
PIKACHU: Guess Bulbasaur was right.   
PIKACHU: Wishful thinking.   
EEVEE: You sure you’re not gonna burn out again Charmeleon?   
CHARMELEON: no   
CHARMELEON: im good   
PIDGEOTTO: The evolution high will last him through the night.   
PIDGEOTTO: He shouldn’t have any problems staying awake.   
SQUIRTLE: K   
SQUIRTLE: Let’s make it through the night then   
SQUIRTLE: Eevee   
EEVEE: Yup?   
SQUIRTLE: I’ll handle the party poppers   
BULBASAUR: …   
BULBASAUR: Charmeleon?   
CHARMELEON: yeah   
BULBASAUR: Congratulations.   
CHARMELEON: that means a lot bulbasaur   
CHARMELEON: thanks

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
OG: ASH  
DD: finally!  
[MOD] TM: Are you alright?  
CS: We were worried about you.  
UT: i’  
UT: i’m fine!  
UT: sorry, squirtle just set off a party popper next to my ear!  
SS: ash  
UT: …  
UT: sorry, marshadow.  
UT: i know you said to stay where i was.  
UT: i got too excited and went on without you.  
UT: and  
UT: well, i guess karma got me back.  
OG: Tell me you weren’t freezing to death  
OG: Tell me I was just having a fever dream or something  
UT: …  
OG: Shit  
[MOD] SC: Language.  
DD: we were trying to find you!  
OG: I just  
OG: Wasn’t sure how it worked  
OG: I knew somehow that you were freezing but didn’t know where  
UT: yeah…  
UT: i ended up spending the night with just my pokémon for company.  
[MOD] TM: And are *they* alright?  
UT: better than alright!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] uploaded file "teamphoto.jpg".  
[MOD] TM: That’s  
[MOD] TM: @scimitarGamma  
DD: your charmander evolved!  
DD: congratulations!  
TT: yeah grats  
OG: Grats  
CS: I’m relieved.  
CS: I’m glad to hear everything turned out well.  
SS: ahem  
[MOD] TM: Suicune, are you still nearby?  
CS: For a given value of nearby.  
CS: I’m still in the general area where Ash was last seen, yes.  
[MOD] TM: Could you pick Marshadow up and find a way to drop him off to Ash up ahead?  
UT: we’re in team rocket’s balloon atm, shouldn’t be hard to find.  
DD: oh *there* you are!  
CS: I’ll do my best.  
CS: Can I just ask Marshadow, though:  
CS: You wouldn’t have been able to tell previous Rainbow Heroes to stay still, so…  
CS: How would you have caught up to them?  
SS: id influence them to stay still  
[MOD] TM: While I admit it’s not the best system, it is one I came up with.  
[MOD] TM: In the event that the Rainbow Hero approaches Mt. Tensei and I am not in a position to meet them there, Marshadow slows them down.  
UT: oh, that makes sense.  
SS: i thought itd be easier just to ask  
[MOD] TM: This entire journey has been a learning experience for all of us.  
[MOD] TM: But I should say this.  
[MOD] TM: Thank you, Marshadow, for bringing this up as soon as you encountered it.  
[MOD] TM: Had this sort of thing occurred near the beginning of Ash’s journey, you would have ignored him.  
UT: like what happened with the ship?  
[MOD] TM: …I wasn’t going to mention that, but yes.  
[MOD] TM: Though in the end our assistance wasn’t required, it put us in a position where we were aware of the situation beforehand.  
UT: yeah.  
UT: thanks, marshadow.  
SS: …  
DD: and what did we learn?  
UT: definitely don’t go charging over mountains especially when there’s blizzards.  
UT: though i want to point out that i don’t remember there being a blizzard there when i made the decision to get going.  
UT: oh.  
UT: and my pokémon would rather all be cold with me than let me be cold by myself.  
[MOD] SC: …You’re going to have to let us know exactly what happened last night.  
scimitarGamma [SG] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
SG: What happened?  
UT: charmander evolved.  
SG:  
SG: …  
SG: …I suppose it was inevitable.  
SG: Thank you for taking him on, Ash.  
SG: I dread to think what would have become of him otherwise.  
SG: I was worried at first, but…  
SG: I can’t think of anyone better for the task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You tell him, Charmeleon. Two episodes ahead of schedule.


	56. Episode 55 (Showdown at Dark City)

[MOD] BB: There has to be an easier way of doing this.  
DD: ikr  
DN: I’m fairly certain that there are rigorous tests involved with starting a gym.  
DN: And even then, a Dark-type gym in Kanto would have to restrict itself to late-badge challenges only.  
DN: There just aren’t that many Dark-types native to Kanto.  
MU: Speaking out of interest, how many Dark-types *are* native to Kanto?  
DN: Strictly speaking, none, since the only Dark-types found in Kanto are more well-known elsewhere.  
DN: Unofficially, Sneasel, Poochyena/Mightyena, Sableye, and a few Absol sightings.  
DN: That’s it.  
MU: That’d explain it…  
DD: and why ash had to get a ghost-type for his battle against sabrina.  
SG: How’s Charmeleon doing?  
DD: still getting used to the size difference i think.  
DD: he’s not grown out of being clingy completely, i noticed a couple of times he grabbed onto ash’s leg.  
SG: Understandable.  
SG: It would be much more concerning if he *had*, if I’m honest.  
SG: Sometimes evolution does come with a different temperament but the underlying personality shouldn’t change.  
[MOD] BB: And how is Ash handling directing Charmeleon?  
DD: he flubbed and said charmander a couple times but everyone does that.  
DD: there’s not really that much difference though?  
DD: this is really the first time we’ve seen him with a proper evolution.  
DD: since y’know butterfree rocketed through his forms!  
DD: sec gonna note this down before i forget it  
DD: pikachu has ketchup addiction #piketchup  
TT: that makes two of us then  
TT: ketchup is love  
TT: ketchup is life  
DN: What about your puppet shows?  
TT: okay not appreciated bro  
TT: they’re marionettes  
TT: thunderbirds is first love and life  
TT: ketchup is second love and life  
TT: gimme them tamato berries  
MU: Huh.  
MU: Maybe that’s an Electric-type thing then.  
MU: I know Koko likes spicy stuff.  
DD: let’s find out!  
DD: @chasingmendacity hey zek do you like ketchup?  
chasingMendacity [CM] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
CM: WHAT  
CM: I WAS HAVING A BATH  
CM: WHAT’S KETCHUP?  
TT: blasphemy  
[MOD] BB: It’s a sauce made from Tamato Berries.  
CM: UH  
CM: NO?  
CM: I HATE SPICY FOOD.  
MU: Oh.  
MU: So much for that.  
DD: …?  
DD: FUCK ME  
[MOD] BB: Mew?  
[MOD] BB: What happened?  
DD: IT’S FUCKING CROSS  
SG: WHAT  
TT: what  
MU: WHAT?!  
DN: What?!  
CM: WHY ARE WE SHOUTING  
DD: didn’t you read up on that zek?  
DD: this is charmander’s previous trainer!  
DD: as in the guy who kicked him and left him to die!  
DD: wtf is he doing here???  
DD: @oddityodyssey ring plz!

* * *

SG: …  
SG: …Ash.  
UT: …yeah?  
SG: I want to apologize.  
SG: You handled that better than I thought you would.  
DD: considering he sprung an incineroar out of nowhere!  
MU: He had absolutely no regard for his Pokémon or his opponent!  
MU: I’m ashamed for our region.  
UT: thanks, but…  
UT: i still got mad when he said charmeleon was still weak.  
[MOD] BB: Ash, there’s something very important I want you to understand.  
[MOD] BB: That is a perfectly normal and acceptable reaction.  
[MOD] BB: If you showed no reaction at all, *then* we’d be concerned.  
SG: Exactly that.  
[MOD] BB: There is no shame at all in defending a friend.  
SG: The fact that Charmeleon wanted to fight for you against Cross, in spite of the obvious disadvantage, shows that he knows the same.  
SG: You are defending each others’ honor.  
DD: that was some pretty good heckling from pikachu though.  
UT: if i’d used pikachu, i could have beaten him.  
UT: i’d have been able to shove that attitude right in his face!  
CM: SOMETIMES IT’S NOT ABOUT WINNING  
CM: IT’S ABOUT SENDING A MESSAGE  
OO: can hoopa make him trip again?  
[MOD] BB: Hoopa, behave.  
DN: I’m more concerned that Cross is here in the first place.  
DN: The chances that your paths would cross again are relatively small, given it’s been months.  
SG: Yes, that is troubling.  
SG: Was he doing a gym challenge as well?  
UT: i don’t think so.  
DN: There are no (official) gyms in this corner of Kanto.  
DN: Just a pocket of mountain towns and villages.  
OO: hoopa did it anyway!  
[MOD] BB: Hoopa…  
UT: you don’t think he’s…  
UT: following me?  
DD: i hope not!  
[MOD] BB: Your route around central Kanto was…  
TT: something you’d do  
[MOD] BB: Zapdos, shut.  
[MOD] BB: It wasn’t the most obvious path.  
[MOD] BB: I feel he would’ve appeared before now if he was.  
DD: this is a squirtle jobber though.  
DD: incineroar is fire and lycanroc is rock.  
DN: Or Primeape.  
DD: o  
DD: or primeape, yeah! incineroar is fire/dark!  
DD: if he actually listened to ash he’d be right up there!  
UT: yeah… i don’t think that’s gonna happen any time soon.  
UT: he, butterfree, litwick, muk and the tauros are at oak’s at the moment anyway.  
DN: Speaking of, have you trained Muk or the Tauros at all yet?  
UT: :/  
DN: An emoticon tells a thousand words.

* * *

mordantConcept [MC] began pestering chasingMendacity [CM].

MC: ARE YOU FEELING OKAY, BROTHER?  
MC: YOU’VE BEEN IN THERE A VERY LONG TIME.  
MC: OTHERS WANT TO USE THAT LAKE TOO YOU KNOW.  
CM: SHIT

* * *

unassumingBoulder [UB] began pestering mythicWisteria [MW].

UB: So, we just had an encounter with Charmander’s previous trainer.  
MW: Really?  
MW: It’s been months since Ash met Cross, and we’re miles away from where that happened.  
UB: Yeah, I know.  
UB: We’re just about to leave Dark City, so we should reach Reseda Town in a couple of days.  
MW: Verity and I are already here.  
MW: It’s a good time to arrive, because there’s a carnival going on.  
MW: You should just about catch the end of it.  
UB: Good to know, thanks.  
MW: Verity wants to know if Charmander’s okay after seeing Cross again.  
UB: Didn’t Ash tell you?  
UB: Charmander evolved into Charmeleon three nights ago.  
MW: He…  
MW: Okay, yes. He did message me, but I completely missed the notification.  
MW: And Verity just forgot, apparently.  
UB: As for the actual reaction, Ash and Cross battled.  
UB: I think Charmeleon *wanted* to battle him.  
UB: It didn’t end so great, though. Cross had an Incineroar waiting in the wings.  
MW: Ouch.  
UB: Fortunately, neither Ash nor Charmeleon took that too hard.  
UB: Ash had another chat with us, and his other friends, and by the end of it he was laughing and smiling again.  
MW: I count myself fortunate to be the only one of us yet to meet Cross.  
MW: Good luck on the journey, and we’ll see you when you get here.  
UB: See you.

unassumingBoulder [UB] stopped pestering mythicWisteria [MW].

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ketchup, anyone? Yep, this the episode where that gag originated. Personally, I'm on Zekrom's side here. I loathe the stuff.
> 
> Finally we’re catching up with the I Choose You content, with the unwelcome return of Cross. Dark City seemed like an appropriate place for it. I can't help but notice though that the two Pokémon Cross is shown to own (Lycanroc and Incineroar) are both Pokémon that *Ash* also owns by the end of Alola, even if Ash's Lycanroc is/was/will be a different forme.


	57. Episode 56 (The March of the Exeggutor Squad)

[MOD] TM: I think he can be allowed a moment of levity.  
[MOD] TM: Attending a carnival seems like a perfect way to do so.  
CS: Did Marshadow get back to him after I dropped him off?  
SS: yes  
CS: Oh, sorry, I forgot you were here.  
SS: im back in ashs shadow  
GO: As long as he reaches you before winter sets in and I have to hibernate, that’s fine by me!  
[MOD] TM: There’s no fear of that.  
[MOD] TM: There’s only one settlement left between Reseda Town and Mt. Tensei, and that’s Mossgreen Village.  
[MOD] TM: Even if Ash does get entangled in something there -  
[MOD] TM: Which I have to admit is extremely likely -  
[MOD] TM: He’s still less than a week away.  
GO: What’s he doing now?  
SS: no idea  
SS: whats magic  
[MOD] TM: When I was a hatchling that was what they called the Psychic-type.  
OG: And how many cycles ago was that  
[MOD] TM: Oh, several.  
[MOD] TM: Certainly before your time.  
OG: Old fart  
[MOD] TM: …  
CS: Can you not, Articuno?

* * *

SQUIRTLE: This is weird even for Ash  
CHARMELEON: yeah  
BULBASAUR: Is it? I hadn’t noticed.  
SQUIRTLE: Following this guy  
SQUIRTLE: He’s not even a good magician  
SQUIRTLE: Proper magicians are awesome and stuff  
BULBASAUR: And stuff?  
SQUIRTLE: You know what I mean  
BULBASAUR: No, I don’t.  
CHARMELEON: um  
CHARMELEON: ive got an idea  
CHARMELEON: bulbasaur step on my tail  
BULBASAUR: What?  
CHARMELEON: just do it  
CHARMELEON: sorry ash  
CHARMELEON: ow FUCK  
SQUIRTLE: Oh neat  
SQUIRTLE: Yeah something’s wrong  
SQUIRTLE: Pretty sure you’re supposed to react when your leg’s on fire  
CHARMELEON: his face twitched

* * *

SS: ash  
SS: …  
SS: ash  
SS: ash youre hypnotized snap out of it  
SS: …  
SS: if i have to trip you up i will  
SS: …  
SS: fine

* * *

ASH: oof  
CHARMELEON: did you see that  
BULBASAUR: Yes, Ash fell over.  
CHARMELEON: no  
CHARMELEON: something reached out of the ground and pulled his ankle  
BULBASAUR: You imagined it.  
CHARMELEON: i didnt though  
SQUIRTLE: Watch it  
SQUIRTLE: It’s that Exeggcute  
SQUIRTLE: It’s hypnotizing him  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: Squirtle.  
SQUIRTLE: Yeah buddy  
BULBASAUR: Use Withdraw.  
SQUIRTLE: Sure but why  
CHARMELEON: um  
CHARMELEON: im gonna just stand over here  
BULBASAUR: I just figured out Fling.  
ASH: OW  
CHARMELEON: now duck bulbasaur  
CHARMELEON: hey exeggcute  
CHARMELEON: get the FUCK away from my trainer

* * *

UT: wait, so…  
UT: what happened?  
SS: the guys exeggcute hypnotized you  
UT: yeah, i got that part…  
UT: i was trying to remember what cresselia told me about shutting that stuff out but i couldn’t concentrate.  
SS: he brought you out here  
SS: to fight exeggutor for him  
UT: okay…  
UT: so why does my everything hurt?  
SS: charmeleon set your leg on fire  
SS: i tripped you up  
SS: then bulbasaur threw squirtle at your head

* * *

OG: Here we see the characteristics of any place that Ash visits  
OG: Nothing is wrong  
OG: Ash turns up  
OG: Everything goes wrong  
OG: Something explodes  
OG: Ash leaves  
CS: Can, at some point, Ash be allowed to go anywhere without the world crashing down on him?  
OG: No  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: The really worrying thing is it’s just Ash.  
[MOD] TM: No other Chosen One that I can remember had nearly this much trouble.  
[MOD] TM: Yes, Sir Aaron was involved in a war, but up until he began participating he’d only encountered…  
[MOD] TM: What, a dozen major issues?  
[MOD] TM: And that was over the course of several years.  
OG: But Ash has us  
[MOD] TM: The majority of the issues Ash has faced were external.  
[MOD] TM: As in he’s just happened to arrive at the point when things were boiling over.  
[MOD] TM: We could always ask Dialga, but I think even if we had no say in the matter he’d still be running into most of these things.  
[MOD] TM: It’s simply in his nature.  
OG: And we all know who to blame for that  
SS: was that ok  
SS: what i did  
[MOD] TM: Given the circumstances, yes.  
[MOD] TM: In that situation, even had you alerted us, there wasn’t a lot we could have done.  
GO: I’m concerned that he was hypnotized.  
GO: Again.  
GO: I know Cresselia’s very busy at the moment, but she’s likely to get upset as well.  
[MOD] TM: I forget, how did he subvert it last time?  
GO: He wasn’t fully hypnotized, and Cresselia taught him a meditation trick.  
SS: he was trying to do that again  
SS: but he couldnt concentrate  
GO: Well, last time, like I said, it was just sort of background, and he could tell something was wrong.  
GO: If he was actually properly hypnotized, he might not even have noticed until he was completely under.  
CS: Yes, really this should be something we need to put to Cresselia.  
CS: I hope the inhabitants of the town see sense and don’t insist Ash pays for the damages…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or, in other words, getting to this episode and realizing that Ash gets hypnotized and separated from the others, when Ash previously received a tip on how to deal with hypnosis, there’s no excuse for Marshadow not to do anything, and Charmeleon needs to do something since this is the episode he evolved in originally. So instead Ash gets some good-natured abuse.


	58. Episode 57 (The Problem with Paras)

EEVEE: What?   
EEVEE: I don’t get it.   
PIDGEOTTO: That Paras is having trouble fighting.   
EEVEE: Yeah.   
PIDGEOTTO: The others are trying to help by deliberately losing.   
EEVEE: Okay…   
EEVEE: But… why are Meowth and Team Rocket’s Pokémon here too?   
PIDGEOTTO: Meowth has some sort of stake in this, apparently.   
PIDGEOTTO: There’s… sort of a truce at the moment.   
PIDGEOTTO: Junior and Charmeleon did it.   
PIDGEOTTO: Somehow.   
EEVEE: And you’re okay with this, Kangaskhan?   
KANGASKHAN: Meowth and I have an agreement.   
KANGASKHAN: So long as his partners don’t try anything funny, I’m sitting back and letting them get on with it.   
PIDGEOTTO: And I’m over here ‘cause, you know.   
PIDGEOTTO: Bird.   
EEVEE: Yeah, okay.   
EEVEE: And Charmeleon?   
PIDGEOTTO: Trying his hardest not to swear in front of the kid.   
EEVEE: Oh.   
EEVEE: …   
EEVEE: …   
EEVEE: Did he really just say ‘I can’t talk to you, I’m unconscious’?   
KANGASKHAN: Yes.   
PIDGEOTTO: I think Paras bought it though.   
EEVEE: …   
PIDGEOTTO: I didn’t get a chance to say it last time we were both out, Kangaskhan.   
PIDGEOTTO: Welcome to Ash’s world.   
EEVEE: It’s scary!   
EEVEE: But you get to have a whole lot of fun!   
KANGASKHAN: Thank you.   
KANGASKHAN: It’s… certainly different.   
KANGASKHAN: But I don’t regret it.   
PIDGEOTTO: I think Squirtle’s about to, though—   
SQUIRTLE: OOF   
EEVEE: Squirtle!   
EEVEE: You okay?   
SQUIRTLE: No I’m Squirtle   
PIDGEOTTO: He’s fine.   
EEVEE: I dunno, he looks like he’s fainted.   
EEVEE: No, wait.   
EEVEE: What was that thing he said before?   
EEVEE: ‘It’s not fainting, it’s passing out in a manly fashion.’   
PIDGEOTTO: Pfft.   
PIDGEOTTO: …   
PIDGEOTTO: Eevee, get down. The human members of Team Rocket just showed up.   
EEVEE: I can’t see. What’s happening?   
KANGASKHAN: Meowth is explaining our agreement.   
EEVEE: Huh.   
EEVEE: I guess it’s really useful being able to speak human.   
EEVEE: I wonder if we could ever learn.   
KANGASKHAN: Maybe next time you get a chance you can ask Meowth.   
EEVEE: Can’t I just go over now?   
PIDGEOTTO: …   
PIDGEOTTO: Bearing in mind Kangaskhan’s just punched them into orbit, probably not.   
EEVEE: Wh   
EEVEE: But she was right here!   
PIDGEOTTO: Yes, and now she's over there.   
PIDGEOTTO: Try to keep up.

* * *

DD: okay!   
DD: i’m 100% sure kangaskhan aren’t supposed to be capable of mach 1!   
GO: Was her kid in danger?   
DD: um, maybe?   
SG: You don’t know this, Mew?   
SG: On learning their child is in danger all parents, especially mothers, suddenly gain the ability to teleport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an awkward episode to write. I needed to have Charmeleon be doing something positive because he ruined the original episode, I needed to have this episode and not skip it (mostly to buy time for the movie), and for the most part this is actually a Team Rocket episode, so… I did the best I could. It’s a little legend-light, because, well…
> 
> Today, it is (was, it’s 11pm GMT right now) my birthday. Tomorrow, we begin the finale of I Choose You. Three episodes. Six chapters. Over 20,000 words. And it’s _finished_ …
> 
> (Barring editing, because I always manage to find *something* while I’m in the process of doing all the formatting. You’d be surprised at how much of what you’ve read so far was added at the last minute.)


	59. Episode 58 (Our Five Dreams)

[ADMIN] DW: @all Your attention please.  
[ADMIN] DW: As I’m sure most of you know by now, Ash is making his Mt. Tensei ascent today, which means he is approaching his official battle with Ho-oh.  
[ADMIN] DW: Yes, there will be a stream, and there will be several measures put into place to make this whole thing go smoothly and not allow any interruptions.  
[ADMIN] DW: First off:  
[ADMIN] DW: Beginning shortly, Ash and Ho-oh’s accounts will be set to Do Not Disturb mode, so if you’ve any well wishes, send them now.  
[ADMIN] DW: DND mode will not be removed until after the battle is over.  
[ADMIN] DW: Second:  
[ADMIN] DW: To relieve the pressure on Ash’s memo, as happened before with his battle against Gary, only specified users will be able to chat there.  
[ADMIN] DW: To allow the rest of you to comment, Porybot will be mirroring Giratina’s stream into the following three memos:  
[ADMIN] DW: [HOENN ALONE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO / 7.8/10 Too Much Water]  
[ADMIN] DW: [THE TRACK SO GOOD THEY PLAYED IT TWICE / Designated Shitting Street]  
[ADMIN] DW: [BEACH PARTAY! / That Plant On Ula’Ula We Don’t Talk About]  
[ADMIN] DW: There’s nothing stopping you from responding to all three of them if you so wish.  
[ADMIN] DW: The following users ONLY will have viewing and responding access to [Gotta Ketchum All]:  
[ADMIN] DW: All users from Kanto;  
[ADMIN] DW: All users from Johto;  
[ADMIN] DW: Shaymin, Virizion, Marshadow, and all administrators and moderators involved with the stream itself.  
[ADMIN] DW: And third:  
[ADMIN] DW: This event is strictly between Ash and Ho-oh.  
[ADMIN] DW: Any attempt to interfere in favor of one party or another will be dealt with severely.  
[ADMIN] DW: If anybody has any questions, direct them towards myself or Palkia.  
[ADMIN] DW: Oh, one final note.  
[ADMIN] DW: We know some of you are concerned about the potential outcome of this battle.  
[ADMIN] DW: Our official stance is that so long as the battle is fair, what happens, stands.  
[ADMIN] DW: Please respect their decisions whatever they may be.  
[ADMIN] DW: Thank you.

* * *

BROCK: Ash, you look like you’re about to explode.  
ASH: haha yeah!  
ASH: i just can’t wait!  
ASH: what about you, buddy?  
PIKACHU: You know it!  
SORREL: We’re on course for a guaranteed meeting with a legendary Pokémon.  
SORREL: I don’t think there are many people who’d be able to contain their anticipation in similar positions.  
MISTY: not that Ash needs a guarantee at this point…  
VERITY: its awesome!  
VERITY: …  
VERITY: …  
MISTY: Verity?  
VERITY: …  
VERITY: yeah  
VERITY: its just awesome  
BROCK: You seem kind of down.  
BROCK: What’s the matter?  
VERITY: …  
MISTY: …is this that thing you were saying a long time ago?  
VERITY: kind of  
VERITY: …  
VERITY: my mom and aunt are both pokémon trainers  
VERITY: and theyre both *really* good  
VERITY: aunt cynthias nearly good enough to be champion  
VERITY: back home in sinnoh everyoned always look at me and expect me to be a great trainer too  
VERITY: i just couldnt  
VERITY: so i came here just to get away from it  
ASH: hey, you’re a great trainer!  
VERITY: not as good as you ash  
MISTY: please don’t blow up his ego any further.  
ASH: hey!  
VERITY: and here you guys  
VERITY: two gym leaders a professor and ash  
SORREL: I’m not a Professor yet.  
MISTY: and I know I’m not the best I can be.  
ASH: do you want to be a great trainer then?  
VERITY: yeah!  
ASH: then it’s your job to make that dream come true!  
ASH: fight the world for it!  
MISTY: …

* * *

[MOD] NM: Oh .  
[MOD] NM: I Get It .  
GO: What?  
[MOD] NM: Verity Is The Niece Of Cynthia Shirona .  
DD: wait what  
DD: *that* cynthia shirona???  
[MOD] NM: Do You Know Another One ?  
DD: @walkaboutdistributor  
[ADMIN] WD: What?  
[ADMIN] WD: I know that.  
[ADMIN] WD: I’ve known that ever since I saw her face.  
[MOD] NM: And You Didn’t Think To Mention It ?  
[ADMIN] WD: Why would I mention it?  
[ADMIN] WD: Cynthia’s business is Cynthia’s business.  
[ADMIN] WD: The same goes for her relatives.  
[ADMIN] WD: I leave her alone and she leaves us alone.  
[ADMIN] WD: It’s bad enough that Ash got saddled with being a Chosen One as well, I’m not dragging anyone else into this mess.  
SG: I guess that explains why Ho-oh thought she looked familiar.

* * *

BROCK: …actually, I don’t think I was that good of a gym leader either.  
MISTY: what do you mean, either!?  
ASH: what!  
ASH: brock!  
BROCK: Don’t get me wrong.  
BROCK: I made sure all my challengers learned what they needed to.  
BROCK: Well, apart from you, Ash.  
ASH: thanks!  
PIKACHU: Oh, geez.  
MISTY: that wasn’t a compliment.  
BROCK: But…  
BROCK: Oh, right. Ash and Misty know this, but you two don’t.  
VERITY: ?  
BROCK: My family’s pretty big. With mom and dad both gone, I was running the gym and looking after them all at the same time.  
SORREL: Oh.  
SORREL: I’m sorry.  
BROCK: Thanks, but you don’t need to be. Dad came back, he’s running the gym now, and we occasionally get postcards from mom.  
BROCK: And I love my brothers and sisters, I do, but it was draining.  
BROCK: I came to realize my heart wasn’t in running the gym any more.  
BROCK: Truth be told, I was in the process of training the oldest of my brothers up to be my replacement when Ash turned up.  
ASH: and then flint took over the gym anyway.  
BROCK: Yeah.  
BROCK: And by the sounds of it, he’s picked right up where I left off.  
BROCK: Anyway…  
BROCK: I’d see trainers come in all the time with Pokémon that weren’t quite 100%, if you know what I mean.  
MISTY: I think I do.  
BROCK: I’d be midway through battles, and I’d be thinking  
BROCK: ‘If I were that trainer, I’d give that Pokémon more exercise.’  
BROCK: ‘I’d change their diet.’  
SORREL: …which opened your mind to Pokémon Breeding.  
BROCK: Exactly.  
VERITY: …  
VERITY: is it just me  
VERITY: or does the name sound wrong somehow  
PIPLUP: verity you read my mind!!!

* * *

GO: I sympathize.  
GO: My family’s huge, and sometimes *I* feel like they’re all looking to me because I’m the Prime.  
GO: And some of them… aren’t the nicest Pokémon in the world.  
DN: But you still enjoy it.  
GO: Oh yeah!  
GO: Sure, I’ve got the responsibilities, but I also get to hang out with you guys!  
DD: yeah, we’re gonna miss you when you hibernate.  
GO: hehe  
GO: Just so long as I don’t come back to a region on fire!  
TT: don’t worry  
TT: if kanto’s on fire we’ll make sure moltres gets blamed for it  
DN: Zapdos!  
TT: or entei  
BG: Shut up  
TT: some fire type  
[ADMIN] DW: Ash isn’t going to set the world on fire.  
[ADMIN] DW: Father had a… talk with him after the last gym.  
DD: but is he going to burn team rocket down?  
SG: I doubt it.  
GO: No, with Team Rocket, he’s just going to light the fuse.  
GO: And run away.

* * *

BROCK: While I’m thinking about it, Misty.  
MISTY: what?  
BROCK: Pewter Gym has been in our family for generations, but what about you?  
BROCK: How long have the Waterflowers been running Cerulean?  
MISTY: uh, not that long, really.  
MISTY: our family’s always been big on water-type training, but lily only finished training as a gym leader, uh…  
MISTY: six years ago?  
MISTY: my other sisters followed, and I did the test as soon as I was old enough.  
VERITY: you mustve done well!  
MISTY: actually, um, no.  
MISTY: I only just scraped through…  
ASH: what!!!  
MISTY: that’s why my sisters usually run the gym.  
MISTY: but I decided that i was going to try and catch some more water Pokémon, and train with them, and show them that I was just as strong as them.  
MISTY: I was *trying* to catch a Magikarp so I could train it and evolve it into a Gyarados.  
ASH: why didn’t you?  
MISTY: because *someone* stole my bike!  
ASH: oh, so that’s what you were doing.  
MISTY: I was fishing!  
MISTY: what did you *think* I was trying to do?!  
SORREL: How did your family get into training Water-types?  
MISTY: uh…  
MISTY: I… I’m not sure?  
MISTY: I know when *I* knew I wanted to do it.  
MISTY: Cerulean City used to have a small aquarium, before it moved and became part of the gym.  
MISTY: I used to go there all the time and I loved it.  
MISTY: it’s there I decided I wanted a Milotic.  
VERITY: oh yeah  
ASH: what’s milotic?  
MISTY: the best Water-type ever!  
ASH: …  
ASH: my pokédex doesn’t have any information on it.  
ASH: i think bill only put stuff on it from kanto and johto and not much else.  
SORREL: Milotic, and Feebas, the Pokémon they evolve from, are typically native to Hoenn.  
SORREL: Much like with Gyarados, having a Milotic raised from Feebas is regarded as an ultimate sign of dedication to Pokémon care.  
MISTY: it’s always been my dream to train one.  
ASH: …  
ASH: misty?  
MISTY: yeah?  
ASH: yours was the best one.  
MISTY: what?  
ASH: yours was the best gym battle i’ve had so far.  
MISTY: …  
ASH: i mean if you hadn’t made that bet with me i probably would’ve used pikachu.  
PIKACHU: And I would’ve won.  
ASH: but you made me use pidgeotto and butterfree, so i learned stuff.  
ASH: i kinda messed up with brock’s gym…  
BROCK: You did, to be fair.  
ASH: and don’t get me wrong, i had fun at the other gyms too.  
ASH: well, maybe not the first time at vermilion or either time at saffron.  
PIKACHU: Yeah, we don’t talk about those.  
PIKACHU: Egh.  
ASH: but if i had to pick which one was my favorite, it was cerulean.

* * *

CS: Hm.  
DD: what’s the matter, suicune?  
CS: Nothing, just taking notes.  
CS: Carry on.  
DN: This talk about gyms is fascinating.  
DN: I wonder how the other gym leaders came to love their types.  
[MOD] GW: IWonderWhatSortOfTypeAshWouldSpecializeInIfHeRanAGym?  
[MOD] NM: If Ash Ran A Gym It Would Be Permanently On Fire .  
[ADMIN] WD: Sad, but true.  
DD: tbh he could probably staff a gym entirely with his tauros.  
GO: What about Pokémon who do things you don’t expect them to?  
GO: Pikachu can electrocute Ground-types, and we’ve seen Bulbasaur use a couple of moves he shouldn’t be able to know.  
GO: Oh, and Kangaskhan’s really fast, and you don’t expect that.  
OG: What type would that be though  
COT: the element of surprise type!  
TT: nah  
TT: glitch type  
DD: OH NO  
DD: THANKS A BUNCH ZAPDOS  
TT: what  
[ADMIN] DW: Zapdos, we don’t talk about The Glitch.  
TT: i’ve got no idea what you’re talking about  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: I’ll tell you once we’re finished here.

* * *

MISTY: enough about me!  
VERITY: youve gone really red misty  
MISTY: shut up!!!  
ASH: hey, here’s something i want to know.  
ASH: what got you interested in legendary pokémon, sorrel?  
SORREL: …  
SORREL: Well, since we’re getting everything out in the open…  
SORREL: When I was young, my parents were away for work more than home.  
SORREL: My family had a Luxray who took care of me.  
SORREL: He was always with me.  
SORREL: But then there was one awful day when I went out alone.  
SORREL: A blizzard had struck in out of nowhere, and I was… too eager to play.  
SORREL: I hurt myself pretty badly.  
ASH: but luxray helped you out, right?  
SORREL: …  
SORREL: The last things I remembered before passing out were Luxray curling himself around me…  
SORREL: And what I later found out was an Articuno passing overhead.  
MISTY: an Articuno…?  
SORREL: When I woke up, Luxray was…  
VERITY: oh  
ASH: …  
ASH: …yeah…  
ASH: ‘it is said to appear to doomed people who are lost in snowy mountains.’  
BROCK: What’s that?  
ASH: articuno’s entry in the pokédex.  
SORREL: I didn’t know that at the time.  
SORREL: For a while, I was angry at the Articuno. I thought it had caused the blizzard, and took Luxray from me.  
SORREL: I was afraid to make friends with Pokémon for a very long time.  
SORREL: The only thing that snapped me out of it… was when I met Lucario.  
LUCARIO: When you *saved* me, you mean.  
SORREL: That’s a story for another time, though.  
SORREL: I came to realize that despite all folklore about them, there’s still a lot we don’t know about legendary Pokémon.  
SORREL: That I was getting angry about something I had no knowledge of.  
SORREL: I came to Kanto in the first place because this is where the most common Articuno sightings are made.  
SORREL: I wanted to *meet* Articuno, even if it wasn’t the same one.  
MISTY: well, just hang around Ash long enough and one’s bound to show up.  
VERITY: haha!  
PIKACHU: Pfft.  
ASH: ok, for the record, i want to *catch* articuno.  
ASH: i’m pretty sure he lives in the orange islands anyway.  
SORREL: huh?  
ASH: !  
ASH: or… so i heard!

* * *

OG: Look  
OG: I swear it wasn’t me  
[MOD] BB: This would have been what, at least five years ago?  
OG: I’ve never even been to Sinnoh  
OG: Because that one time you decided to take us you got us lost  
TT: and we all crashed at yveltal’s place  
TT: that was fun  
[MOD] BB: In my defense, there is an ocean between here and Sinnoh.  
GO: You mean the one that’s basically just a channel?  
DN: The one where you can see one side from the other?  
SG: The one which has Almia in the middle of it?  
[MOD] BB: Yes, thank you all very much.  
[MOD] BB: Let’s all mock my sense of direction.  
TT: you can’t mock something if it doesn’t exist  
[MOD] BB: I will kick you, Zapdos.  
TT: if you can find your way to the button  
beastieBirb [BB] kicked thunderbirbTwo [TT] from the memo. (Reason: Found it.)  
DD: rofl  
OG: Lugia 1 Zapdos nil  
COT: …  
COT: …i kinda wish i hadn’t heard that now.  
COT: ‘cause i want to go back and save that luxray.  
[ADMIN] DW: As unfortunate as some things can be, we can’t change everything.  
[ADMIN] DW: Much as we would like to, time travel isn’t the magic fix-it button a lot of people imagine it to be.  
[ADMIN] DW: We can only look forward and learn from the encounter.  
OG: Says the guy who rewrote a kid’s history  
[ADMIN] DW: That child was far less entangled in Ash’s adventure than Sorrel is.  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
[ADMIN] DW: Remove Sorrel’s ambition, and it’s likely that Charmander never would have made it through that night.  
COT: …  
COT: you already checked, didn’t you?  
COT: whether he could be saved?  
[ADMIN] DW: …Yes.

* * *

SORREL: …  
SORREL: What about you, Ash?  
SORREL: I don’t think you’ve ever said *why* you wanted to become a Pokémon Master.  
BROCK: I am curious.  
VERITY: me too  
MISTY: oh, this should be good.  
ASH: i mean, what kid wouldn’t?  
ASH: you get to travel the world and see lots of cool pokémon!  
ASH: and when you get good enough you help other people see that it’s their dream too!  
ASH: but…  
ASH: well  
ASH: i guess you could say it’s because of my dad.

* * *

DD: uh oh.

* * *

BROCK: We met your mom back in Acapulco, didn’t we?  
BROCK: You didn’t point him out, was your dad there too?  
VERITY: hes not professor oak is he  
ASH: no!  
ASH: professor oak’s… really old!  
ASH: no, my dad, he…  
ASH: mom said he had to go out to sea a little after i was born.  
ASH: i’d catch her at the window sometimes, just staring out, and…  
ASH: well  
ASH: i thought that if i became a pokémon master, he’d come back and talk to me and mom.  
VERITY: …  
VERITY: thats actually kinda sad too  
ASH: but i’m staying positive!  
ASH: that’s what one of my friends taught me before i started.  
ASH: i’d really *like* to find dad, but in the meantime i’m going on cool adventures!  
ASH: and you guys have been with me the whole way.  
ASH: since i met you at least.  
MISTY: *only* because I want a new bike.  
MISTY: if you hadn’t destroyed it I’d be having nothing to do with all… this.  
BROCK: If you hadn’t met Ash, think of everything that’s happened since then that wouldn’t have happened.  
BROCK: Like catching your Horsea.  
VERITY: or that gym battle ash told us about  
MISTY: that was more of  
MISTY: uh  
MISTY: nevermind!  
SORREL: I wonder if that’s another aspect of being a Pokémon Master.  
SORREL: It’s not only about the Pokémon themselves, it’s about helping people with Pokémon.  
ASH: huh, i never thought of it like that.

[This section of the Gotta Ketchum All chat log has very obviously been deleted, as it skips straight from Mew saying ‘uh oh’ to an argument between Moltres and Entei over the subject of peanut butter with no apparent start. However, comparing the active participants both before and after, it becomes clear that both Lugia and Dialga have fled the memo.]

BROCK: Wh-  
BROCK: Hey, look there!  
ASH: what?  
VERITY: oh!  
PIPLUP: ?  
SORREL: It’s Raikou!  
PIKACHU: Back off, buddy!  
RAIKOU: look right  
RAIKOU: im only here because dad said i had to be  
RAIKOU: i dont like doin this stuff  
RAIKOU: i hate this whole rainbow hero bit its just a waste of everyones time  
RAIKOU: i hate the fact that i ran through like six rainstorms to get here and my fur absolutely stinks  
RAIKOU: i hate makin public appearances  
RAIKOU: i hate the outdoors  
RAIKOU: i hate this mountain  
RAIKOU: …  
RAIKOU: and i hate your stupid hat  
ASH: gah!  
MISTY: gah!  
VERITY: hes gone  
SORREL: …  
SORREL: I wonder if that was meant to be something important…  
PIKACHU: Yeah, it wasn’t.  
PIKACHU: You didn’t miss anything.  
SORREL: Raikou must like you, Ash.  
SORREL: That’s the second time it’s appeared before you.  
ASH: he.  
VERITY: he  
PIKACHU: Oh, irony.  
MISTY: how many legendaries has Ash seen now?  
ASH: um, hold on…  
ASH: there was ho-oh…  
ASH: entei, suicune and raikou…  
MISTY: any number bigger than two is too many!  
PIKACHU: I met Mew.  
PIPLUP: i was there too!  
LUCARIO: You did?  
PIKACHU: GAH  
PIKACHU: I forgot you were standing there…  
SORREL: I’ve been meaning to ask, Ash.  
ASH: yeah?  
SORREL: I guess this applies to Verity as well.  
SORREL: How could you tell?  
SORREL: That Raikou was male, I mean.  
SORREL: Legendary Pokémon are usually referred to neutrally, because nobody’s ever been able to study them closely enough.  
ASH: uh.  
VERITY: i dont know how i just do ok  
ASH: i guess…  
ASH: i guess i don’t like calling them its?  
ASH: it feels like i’m insulting them somehow.  
ASH: like if i were to just call misty an it.  
MISTY: hey!  
BROCK: Hm.  
SORREL: Even though Misty’s human?  
ASH: she is?!  
ASH: ow  
ASH: okay yeah sorry!  
MISTY: hmph!  
PIKACHU: You had that one coming.  
ASH: but…  
ASH: yeah.  
ASH: i guess i kinda think of them as people too.  
ASH: all pokémon.  
ASH: they’ve got lives and stuff, it’s not right that we’re rude just because we don’t understand them.  
SORREL: …  
SORREL: That’s a remarkable way of thinking.  
SORREL: You’re absolutely right, of course.  
BROCK: Was it your other friends who taught you that?  
ASH: sort of?  
ASH: it was something professor oak said a lot as well, even if i wasn’t paying much attention at the time.  
ASH: there was this one time we were on a camp, and—  
ASH: huh.  
VERITY: what  
ASH: thinking about it…  
ASH: i think… i might’ve seen mew back then?  
PIKACHU: You saw her too?!  
BROCK: Mew?  
BROCK: I’ve never heard of that Pokémon.  
SORREL: …  
SORREL: …Mew is a mythical Pokémon who’s supposed to be extinct.  
MISTY: you’re kidding!  
MISTY: he’s been around *five*?!

* * *

DN: Hmph.  
DN: We’ll have to continue this later.  
BG: No we won’t  
CS: Nice of you to finally turn up, @boltfromTheblue.  
boltfromTheblue [BT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
BT: shut up  
BT: im only here cause dad locked me out  
BT: and he hid the key somewhere up here  
BT: said im not gettin it back until ash is done  
[MOD] GW: WellThatsOneWayToGetYouOutAndAbout!  
[MOD] GW: SomeFreshAirIsGoodForYou!  
BT: yeah no  
BT: i wasnt kidding about the rainstorms  
CS: When was the last time you actually had a proper bath, brother?  
BT: im a cat i bathe myself  
DD: can’t fault him for that.  
[MOD] CW: (entei)  
BG: I know  
BG: Done  
[ADMIN] WD: What?  
[MOD] CW: (entei) has just (evicted) (team rocket) from the (premises)  
GO: Oooof.  
GO: Yeah, it wouldn’t have been pretty if they’d showed up!  
TT: can we talk about how ash is actually giving us respect  
TT: i’m touched  
[MOD] NM: Didn’t He Describe You As ‘Weird’ When He Found Out About The Ketchup Conversation ?  
TT: that doesn’t count  
DD: wait shit  
DD: did he actually see me?  
COT: yep!  
DD: and you were planning on telling me when?!  
COT: i wasn’t!  
DD: i hate you so much, celebi.  
COT: aww, no you don’t. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically the point where I take what I've got so far and extrapolate backstories backwards, even if it conflicts a little with character lore. Hopefully the characters sound like themselves. Also, I wrote these three episodes in non-sequential chunks, so hopefully everything flows together okay.
> 
> Verity: In canon, Verity has no relation to Cynthia (yes, *that* Cynthia). There was a lot of speculation that she *might* be, as the image we get of her mother strongly resembles Cynthia, but an official relation was shot down by one of the movie's editors. So... daughter of twin sister. Works for me. Cynthia isn't Sinnoh's champion yet though. She also doesn't have a canon surname - few anime characters do - so I've nabbed something else from Ashes of the Past and used her Japanese name as her surname. By that same rule, for the purposes of this universe Verity is Verity Makoto.
> 
> Brock: Why *did* they pick Pokémon Breeding as the title for the profession he's interested in? It really bears little resemblance to what first springs to mind when you think of the word 'breeding'. This is a logical leap for him, I think.
> 
> Misty: Misty's canon character's been thrown through the wringer multiple times, because she does actually respect Ash as a trainer now, even if she refuses to admit it. Canon!Ash was actually pretty lazy compared to what he's been up to so far here.
> 
> Sorrel: I've not yet fully decided on whether Sorrel should get the same treatment as Verity - making him Sorrel Souji - or, as he's going to be a Pokémon Professor, whether I should just bite the bullet and give him Wisteria as a tree surname (since I already used it as his username). His Luxray... yeah. Sort of showing that the anime was growing up even if Ash wasn't, that was the first dead Pokémon shown on screen that wasn't later revived in some way. I added the bit about the Articuno, though. Sorrel's got a bit of a backstory gap in the movie; he goes from 'it all changed when I met Lucario' to 'hey I'm investigating legendaries' without much of a transition.
> 
> Ash: To be honest some of you can probably see where I'm taking Ash's backstory in this universe already. But hey, that's fine, it'll be a surprise to him when he finds out.
> 
> And finally, finally, Raikou makes a meaningful appearance, channelling his inner James-May-at-the-North-Pole.


	60. 'Episode' 59, Act 1 (The Trial of the Rainbow Hero)

SG: So, forgive my ignorance, but what actually *happens* here?  
[ADMIN] WD: It’s very simple.  
[ADMIN] WD: Ash brings the Rainbow Wing into contact with the Storm’s End Throne, that crystal arrangement that Azelf is hovering around.  
[ADMIN] WD: That produces a very distinct visual signal which summons Ho-oh, who is currently on a different mountain a few miles away making preparations.  
SG: I see.  
OG: Hey bro what happened to all that popcorn  
OG: The bag’s empty  
DN: You ate it.  
OG: What when  
OG: I don’t remember this happening  
OG: I specifically don’t remember getting to the bottom of this bag  
DN: I don’t know what to tell you, Articuno.  
DN: You emptied out that bag half an hour ago.  
OG: Gah  
OG: Zapdos have you still got some  
TT: no  
OG: Darn  
[ADMIN] WD: Meanwhile, Marshadow will act as moderator, and will step in in case anything goes wrong.  
TT: well  
TT: this is ash  
TT: something’s going to go wrong  
CS: Don’t be pessimistic, Zapdos.  
CS: Besides, my brothers and I are stationed around the perimeter.  
CS: We’ll know if someone tries to interrupt.  
DD: i’m here too!  
CS: And Mew.  
[ADMIN] WD: Much as I’d like to stay, a spacial distortion’s just cropped up that I need to fix.  
[ADMIN] WD: I’ll check back in later.  
GO: Bye Palkia!  
walkaboutDistributor [WD] fled the memo.  
CS: I very much doubt that Ash’s friends are going to try to intervene.  
CS: Nobody else ever comes up here, with the exception of the man they’re with at the moment.  
DD: bonji.  
CS: That’s the one.  
OG: What’s his deal anyway  
CS: He’s spent a great deal of his life researching Father.  
CS: He’s been nothing but respectful about it, and likely would have been a Rainbow Hero himself if not for his age.  
CS: No, he won’t interrupt either.  
OG: Here we go boys  
CS: We are completely safe from  
DD: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

### Act 1: Trial of the Tiger

It was Cross.

As much as Ho-oh’s children were prepared to divert any potential intruders, they never considered the possibility that such an intruder might _already_ be waiting at the Storm’s End Throne. Cross - as he’d later admit on their way back down the mountain - had happened to overhear Sorrel and Verity discussing Ash’s destination, had followed them most of the way down from Aureolin Town, and then overtaken them as they’d been caught up in Mossgreen Village. He was determined to take the Rainbow Wing from Ash, and be the only one to challenge Ho-oh.

Marshadow was completely silent as he emerged from Ash’s shadow and took an observational position on a higher ridge. Yes, it would be his task to step in if things went badly. But… for the first time, in such a long time, he… he had already chosen a side. The process had repeated countless times, he’d guided so many Rainbow Heroes to this place, and he hadn’t cared about a single one. All of them were faceless in his memory, a blur of motivations. It was true that none of them had known he was there until reaching the Throne. Yet…

Ash was already the only one who’d said ‘thank you’.

DN: Marshadow, aren’t you going to do anything about this?!  
SS: no  
SS: this has nothing to do with me  
CS: …he’s right.  
CS: This is purely between Ash and Cross.  
CS: It’s outside the scope of his duties.  
CS: If he'd interrupted Ash while he was already calling Ho-oh then yes, but…

  


GS: WHO’S. THIS. DOUCHEBAG?  
[MOD] SC: He’s Charmander’s former trainer.  
[MOD] SC: Trouble, in other words.  
TN: eh, ash can take him.  
TN: incineroar and lycanroc?  
TN: squirtle, easy.

In fact, Ash was planning on sending out Pikachu. He’d been trying to work on a strategy for what to do if he ever met Cross again. But he was interrupted before he could say it.

Ever since Dark City, Charmeleon had been trying to work out what had gone wrong in their last battle against Cross. It all came down to Seismic Toss. He’d tried it, and failed. The move didn’t work like he thought it did. But still he promised himself that if he ever saw his former trainer again, he’d be the one to defeat him. For both Ash, and himself. So when he heard what was going on outside of his Pokéball, he was _enraged_. This was supposed to be _Ash’s_ moment! Before he knew it, he was spilling out of the ball and glaring down Incineroar’s smirk once more.

The other humans behind him all gasped, but he immediately tuned them out. There was only one person he was listening to.

“Charmeleon?!” Ash sounded a little flustered, but regained himself quickly. “You’re sure?”

Charmander wouldn’t have been. Charmander would be running and hiding, and begging not to be punished for not being able to win. Deep down, Charmander _was_ still there, terrified out of his mind that he was being ordered to do the impossible.

But he wasn’t Charmander any more. He was Charmeleon. He’d never been more sure of anything in his whole life.

“ _Yeah._ ” He glanced back at the trainer. His trainer. “ _I’m sure._ ”

Incineroar was just as relentless as their last encounter, launching straight for the first blow, missing by inches as Charmeleon leapt back. He barely had time to regain his balance before the next one, which left a jagged crater in the ground where he’d been standing only seconds before.

“Charmeleon, Slash!”

He prepped his claws, but they didn’t make it all the way out; his outstretched fist met Incineroar’s coming the other way for a Throat Chop, stopping both arms mid-swing. The force sent a shock all the way up to his shoulder. In this reverse tug-of-war, he would definitely fall first. He needed a different approach.

“ _Like I told ya last time, runt._ ” Incineroar was still smirking, a carbon copy of the one on Cross’s face in the background. “ _Yer too soft. Too weak. No use to nobody._ ”

“ _Shut the FUCK up!_ ” Charmeleon hissed back, putting all of his muscles to the task of not yielding a single inch. “ _I’m not afraid of you any more!_ ”

“ _But yer still afraid of bein’ a failure, runt. A failure who’s just gonna get thrown away again!_ ” On Cross’s command, Incineroar effortlessly smacked Charmeleon’s claw away and unleashed a powerful Flamethrower. “ _And that’s never gonna change!_ ”

Being so much more powerful, even though it was his own element, the Flamethrower hurt, scorching Charmeleon’s scales. The words hurt even more, because they were true. Charmander was still there, part of him. Charmander was holding him back. If he could just… just get rid of…

Behind him, he could hear Ash calling for him.

What was he thinking?! No! Charmander was important, because he was who Ash had saved! Without Charmander, Ash meant nothing! And Ash meant _everything!_ In the forest, Ash could have walked past and left Charmander to die. He didn’t. He helped. Even as he’d been convinced that sooner or later, he’d be left behind again, Ash stuck with him. Not to mention the others - Pikachu, Eevee, Bulbasaur, Squirtle… all the others… his friends.

If having friends was what being soft meant, he never wanted to be anything else.

“ _You’re… you’re right,_ ” he managed against the fire, barely able to make out Incineroar’s outline. “ _I’m still soft. I can’t change that. But—_ ” a familiar feeling flooded through his body “ _—don’t you FUCKING DARE think that means Ash is gonna leave me behind!_ ” And everything erupted in a bright brilliant light.

DD: WHAT  
[MOD] GW: HesEvolving!  
DN: No.  
DN: Impossible.  
DN: No Charmeleon has ever evolved less than a year after evolving the first time!  
DN: It’s been less than a *month*!  
DD: ash’s mysterious evolution power strikes again!  
COT: yep!  
COT: i said, didn’t i, suicune?  
CS: You did.  
CS: By accident, but you did.  
CS: I don’t think either myself or Bulu expected it to be so *soon*, however.  
SG: …  
SG: Ash has brought out the best in him.  
SG: To think I was afraid that fear would prevent Charmander from battling effectively.  
SG: He’s taken ownership of that fear instead.  
SG: The tide turns.  
SG: Let Charizard mete the justice deserved.

Never-before used wings stretched. Bigger lungs took their first breath. A single tail swipe effectively cleared the flames around him. Evolution energy rushed through his veins.

He’d hatched from an egg already under Cross’s ‘care’. The training was tough, but it was tolerable. And then in came that Torracat, swaggering like he owned the place, and everything changed. Cross would regularly pit the two of them against each other, judging which of them was stronger. It was always Torracat. Regular training just stopped happening. The instruction would always be ‘defeat Torracat’. But still Charmander never gave up. Cross was his trainer. Lycanroc was mean, but gave him pointers in between jabs. All he had to do was get stronger.

Then Torracat evolved into Incineroar. And that evening, Cross threw him away.

At first, Charmander just followed him blindly. Cross was his trainer, right? Trainers stuck with their Pokémon. When Cross told him to sit on that rock and wait for him to come back, Charmander did as he was told. It had happened before. He’d wait on a rock, and then - it could be hours later - Torracat would pounce. It would just be the same again. It really said something that he still thought that was the case on the third night, in the rain. Three days waiting. Three days without food or water.

When Cross came back, he’d been elated. His patience had paid off. And when Cross kicked him out of the way… Ash had been there. Ash and his friends, who nursed him back to health, who made sure he wasn’t alone, who never asked anything impossible from him. And he’d learned ten times as much with Ash as he ever had with Cross. Back on the mountain, where he’d evolved the first time, it had been when Charmander finally understood what sort of person Ash was. Here… he’d learned what sort of person _he_ was.

Charizard roared.

It was an unprintable expletive.

TT: haha yes  
OG: ROFL  
COT: LOL  
[MOD] GW: OhMyWord!  
CS: My goodness!  
GO: That’s the filthiest word I’ve heard in a long time, and I hang out with Darkrai!  
SG: …  
DD: hey, anyone in @unova hear a loud smack?  
DD: i think virizion just did a supersonic facehoof.

  


ST: Now where’d he go an learn somethin’ like that?  
SG: I have no words.  
[MOD] SB: You have, however, now bruised yourself.  
[MOD] SB: Now do you understand why I’m refusing Keldeo access to this stream?

The look on Incineroar’s face was so worth it. Even if Charizard was to lose again here, he’d knocked that damn cat off its high Rapidash for once. A ‘weak’ evolved Pokémon was still weak? He’d show Cross weak.

He snorted as he realized it. The goal was exactly the same. _Defeat Incineroar._ But this time, he had direction. Ash knew what he was doing. At the moment, anyway. “Charizard, use Slash!”

With another roared expletive, Charizard closed the gap to Incineroar at a much faster pace, forcing the cat to react that much faster as well. Everything felt… _better_. He could take on the world. Then Pidgeotto’s advice last time rang in his head - _you’re not invincible._ Don’t get carried away. For that reason he spun left when Incineroar punched forward on the same side, a hit that his brain was insisting he should’ve tanked instead, which allowed him to arrest Incineroar’s other arm and unleash a stream of newly-learned Flamethrower into his face.

Incineroar snorted. “ _That all? I’ve sneezed hotter fire than that!_ ” On seeing that Charizard was again building up pressure inside his snout, the smirk came back. “ _Not gonna work, runt! I can take any Flamethrower you send my way!_ ”

Charizard did his best to smile back around the buildup. “ _No’ Flmefower,_ ” he managed to mumble.

The smirk vanished.

Ash remembered it too. “Dragon Breath!”

The fire dragon belched, blowing out not a stream of flames but instead a greenish-yellow beam. Incineroar was taken completely by surprise, so when Charizard released his grip, the recoil carried him back out of range of the blind retaliatory swings. On the way back Charizard released two more bursts, catching first Incineroar’s right shoulder, and then his legs, knocking him over completely.

With a smirk of his own, he landed next to Ash. “ _What happened to cats always landing on their feet?!_ ”

TN: this charizard’s got the sass!  
TN: this ought to be good!

  


US: i thought cats were supposed to land on th  
MU: LOL  
US: hey thats my line  
[MOD] SM: I *think* you just got ninja’d, Koko.

“Charizard!” He glanced back; Ash had some sort of plan. “We’ve got to wrap this up quick! Build up your power! Let’s end this one with a big attack!”

Oh yeah. Now they were talking. Charizard refocused on Incineroar, who by now had managed to stagger back upright. “ _Gotcha!_ ”

Kicking off into a glide, he bore down on Incineroar, who responded in kind by barreling back towards him with a Fire Fang prepared. Closing… closing… At this rate they were just going to collide and be back where they started—

“Dodge it!”

But they’d been going long enough for Charizard to see the way Incineroar was running. Like a Torracat. Like a quadruped. And when he reared up onto his legs to go for the bite, he was no longer keeping himself level. As Incineroar put weight on his left leg, Charizard rolled in the same direction, taking advantage of the split second where the cat coiled up for his next step to blow past and take to the air. Hah. And Torracat used to mock him for dreaming of flying.

“ _Who said you could gain the advantage, runt?!_ ” Suddenly Incineroar was there again, leaping up, wrapping his arms around Charizard’s neck and trying to pull him down for a chokeslam. “ _Get back down where you belong!_ ”

No.

He was going to use Seismic Toss. “Use Seismic Toss!”

“ _FUCK yes!_ ”

Intentionally dipping low just for long enough to slam Incineroar against the ground and loosen his grip, Charizard summoned all of his strength - boosted as it was by the evolution high - transferred the grip point onto Incineroar’s arm and took off again.

“ _You don’t know Seismic Toss!_ ” Still his opponent taunted him. “ _It’s not gonna work just ‘cause you got wings now, runt!_ ”

And he was right. Even after all that time thinking Charizard had never worked out what was wrong with it. It wasn’t a question of weight, or strength. It was a question of power. Throwing somebody into a wall was pointless if they could just spring off it and come back the other way with twice the force. Even as he began a loop, he had no idea how he was going to follow through on it.

No, it wasn’t a loop. It was an orbit.

_Oh!_

“ _Guess again!_ ” he roared, pulling into a second orbit. “ _I worked it out! I’m not throwing you into a wall!_ ”

“ _Even stupider than—_ ”

He reached a suitable velocity. “ _I’m hitting you with the WHOLE FUCKING PLANET!_ ” And he released.

TN: ha-hah!  
TN: eat dirt!  
WS: <} Ooooooof.  
SW: -|===> Yeah, I feel that.  
SW: -|===> I know this is the bad guy, but damn that had to hurt.

  


GO: Woooow.  
DD: the great thing is that’s *exactly* how seismic toss works.  
DD: there’s a whole lot of stuff palkia bored me with when she taught it to me, but it is pretty much that.  
DD: you’re not throwing them into something, you’re hitting them with an earth-sized planet.  
OG: So  
OG: Does that mean when Deoxys showed up that was the move he used on Arceus  
[MOD] CW: (deoxys) piloted a small (meteor) into (arceus)  
[MOD] CW: it wasn’t a (move)  
OG: Meteor Mash  
TT: lol  
SG: It’s not over yet.

“ _You little—!_ ” Incineroar had taken a battering, but wasn’t out for the count just yet. On Cross’s order he unleashed another torrent of Flamethrower. _Blaze. You have this. He knows he’s about to lose, so he’s stronger._ The thought flooded Charizard with determination to finish this once and for all. That was the key to everything. _Incineroar was about to lose._

Ash was quick to respond. “Charizard, use your own Flamethrower!”

Wasting no time on a quip, Charizard obeyed, releasing his own jet of fire. The two blasts met halfway with an enormous explosion. Neither flinched. This was a power struggle. Victory hung on the line. The win would go to he who fought harder. Incineroar wanted to show Charizard his place. Charizard didn’t want to disappoint Ash, and, more importantly, show Cross exactly what he’d thrown away. On determination, they were equally matched.

“Go!” Ash’s voice cut through the noise.

And Charizard switched tactics. Brute force wasn’t going to win this. That was what Incineroar was doing. He needed to fight smart. So, right in the middle of his Flamethrower, he abruptly switched back to Dragon Breath. The sudden beam sliced through the middle of the fireball like a hot knife through butter and found its target immediately.

Another explosion rocked the ledge. Smoke billowed outwards. Panting a little, Charizard landed back next to Ash. Had he done it? Had he finally…

The smoke cleared. Incineroar was flat on his back in the middle of a small crater. With an incoherent groan, he attempted to stand, and Charizard shifted stances again, ready to go again. But it was unnecessary. The cat never made it back upright again, instead slumping back, unconscious.

_Incineroar defeated._

GO: WHOOO!  
OG: YES  
DD: WHOO  
CS: You go, Ash!  
BG: That’s how it’s done  
CS: Why, brother, is that admiration I sense?  
BG: You sense nothing  
SG: And justice is served.

Ash couldn’t help but grin as Charizard - _his_ Charizard - huffed in triumph. “You did it, Charizard!” he said, scratching his Pokémon on the side of the head. To tell the truth, he’d barely gotten used to remembering to say Charmeleon instead of Charmander, but he wasn’t complaining. Now then…

He pulled the Rainbow Wing out of his pocket. Cross was dealt with - it looked like losing had knocked the rest of the fight out of him completely - and it was finally time to face Ho-oh. As he and Pikachu passed the other trainer, he didn’t even spare him a glance. Despite most of his body urging him to rub it in, he was determined not to fall for it. Cross had rubbed it in when Ash had lost, back in Dark City. Ash wasn’t going to fall to his level.

“Ho-oh. I saw Ho-oh, too!”

CS: WHAT  
BG: Uh oh

“Huh?” Ash spun back around. Cross was still on his knees, but it was him who had spoken. He had?! But when?!

“But it didn’t gift me with the Rainbow Wing. And here I did everything I could to become the strongest Trainer of all!” Cross exhaled again, then turned around angrily. “Why must it be you?!”

“I— it—” Ash floundered.

But Cross was ignoring any response he was trying to make. “If Ho-oh doesn’t consider me the strongest, I’ll just crush Ho-oh!”

That was completely the wrong attitude to have! “I want to get stronger, too!” Ash retorted. “But still, I only got this far with the help of my friends! It’s not about strength! It was _never_ about brute force!”

“Then what do you even battle for?!”

From the expression on Cross’s face it wasn’t likely that he was going to accept anything Ash said. He’d already made his mind up. But Ash tried anyway. “I do it… because I want to make friends!” And become better friends with those he was friends with already. “I’m going to be the world’s greatest Pokémon Master, but that doesn’t mean I have to be the strongest and win everything. It means I have to be friends with as many Pokémon as possible! I’ll never be a master without their help!” Ash pumped his fists. “I’m fighting the world for my dream! That’s why I battle!”

He turned to face the Throne.

Suddenly he felt a tight grip on his wrist, and Ash found himself being thrown aside and the Rainbow Wing being wrenched out of his grasp. By the time he’d recovered Cross was already clambering atop the Throne and calling out to Ho-oh. Even from this distance he could see that the colors of the Wing had completely faded to black, just before a column of purple light engulfed it and shot upwards into the sky. Instantly a spiral of black clouds blotted out the sun, plunging the rocky ledge they were stood on into shadows.

US: oh shit  
SU: Oh shit.  
MU: Oh shit.  
UM: Oh shit

  


DD: WTF  
CS: No!  
CS: Marshadow, stop him!

He didn’t need to be told twice. Marshadow emerged from the darkness at the foot of the Throne and launched a Spectral Thief upwards at the interloper, effortlessly plucking him up and tossing him aside. What happened after that wasn’t his concern. His concern was the Rainbow Wing. It was darker than he’d ever seen it before, and if he didn’t purify it _now…_ well, the results weren’t going to be pretty. A single leap took him to the top of the Throne, and he reached out to grab the feather.

It occurred to him half a second after he grabbed it that he’d never before had to interact with a blackened Wing _after_ it had come into contact with the Throne.

Suddenly everything seemed to go quiet, as if he’d been deafened… no, not quite, he realized. He could still hear things. He heard the interloper ordering his Lycanroc to attack, just muffled, from a long way away. He had to defend the Throne. That was all that mattered. He had… to…

Defend the Throne.

Everything drifted away.

sevenStar [SS] fled the memo.  
[SYSTEM]: Account No. 44 (sevenStar) force quit. (Unknown error.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise formatting change! I knew from the very moment I started that movie chapters were going to be hybrid chat and narrative. There's simply too much going on to describe everything in dialogue. Featuring my first attempt at natural battle flow - even if a lot of it is straight up what happens in I Choose You - and an elaboration on ICY!Charmander's background. Cross doesn't seem like the kind of trainer who'd tolerate having two Fire-type starters on his team if one of them was more powerful than the other. Charizard... I don't think I could have expressed how he really felt about this any other way. Again, I wrote these in non-sequential chunks, so pardon any flow hiccups.
> 
> The fantastic thing about integrating ICY into the original series is how well the timing of this section fits. They're in a corner of the region which in real life is occupied by Mt. Fuji? Check. Charmeleon would be evolving in the next canon episode anyway? Check. We're before a particular egg turns up? Only just, check. This section of I Choose You - as an 'episode' because it's literally only the ending - ended up being four acts long. And this is only *23 minutes worth* of movie. Mewtwo Strikes Back is nearly 90 minutes long, including the prologues. Oof.
> 
> Of course, now the shit really hits the fan.
> 
> On a side note, I notice that since the last chapter was posted this story's reached 10,000 hits and 250 kudos. Thank you, it means a lot!


	61. 'Episode' 59, Act 2 (The Trial of the Rainbow Hero)

[MOD] GW: GiratinaWhatHappened?!  
[ADMIN] WW: I DONT KNOW  
[ADMIN] WW: MARSHADOWS ACCOUNT JUST LOCKED  
DD: …guys?

### Act 2: Trial of the Shadow

Things started happening quickly.

Cross’s Lycanroc leapt at Marshadow, but was engulfed by a shadowy cloud the Pokémon produced. Immediately after that he turned on Cross, no holds barred. Marshadow was controlling him, the old man said. It wanted to tear people and Pokémon apart.

Never again.

It almost felt like Charizard’s body was moving all on its own as he threw himself in front of an attack which would have seriously hurt his former trainer. But Verity was wrong. This wasn’t out of any sort of affection for Cross. The trainer had stamped that out himself long ago. It was the softness that he despised. Charizard had acted for one simple reason: He didn’t get to do it again. He’d abandoned Charmander. He didn’t get to abandon Incineroar and Lycanroc too. Oh, he wanted them to feel how he had felt - cold, tired, hungry - but that would be wrong. Nobody should ever have to go through that.

Cross _especially_ didn’t get to do it twice.

More shadowy tendrils shot out from the little Pokémon on the crystal structure, enveloping the wild Pokémon who had gathered to watch. One by one their gazes hardened, focused, just like Lycanroc’s had.

And one came for Charizard.

Almost immediately there was a voice in his head, urging him to turn and attack the humans. Defend the Throne. Remove the interlopers. Defend the Throne. Purge the darkness. Defend the Throne.

…

But that would mean attacking Ash.

Words seemed to pop into his head, completely different from the voice’s assault. It was Ash’s voice. Where had…

Some time ago, back when he was still Charmander, he’d been sitting in his Pokéball. Aware, but suspended. Ash was sitting down, reading out loud from his device, his… his phone.

_“Close your eyes, and focus on breathing. Count to eight as you breathe in, and again as you breathe out. Picture the alien thought, know it is an alien thought, and separate it from your own thoughts._

_It is not yours, it does not belong, and it is not wanted.”_

Purge? Interlopers??? He didn’t even know what those words meant!

“ _FUCK YOU!_ ” he roared, blasting the air in front of him with flames to clear it. “ _I owe Ash my life! He’s my trainer! He’s my friend! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!_ ”

[MOD] GW: Yikes!  
[MOD] GW: ImThinkingWeMayWantToBackUpABit!  
[ADMIN] WW: THE DARKNESS  
[ADMIN] WW: IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR MARSHADOW  
[ADMIN] WW: HES GOING TO  
OG: Going to what  
[ADMIN] WW: HES  
[ADMIN] WW: HES GETTING HELP

With no warning, an Electabuzz watching from the cliff above fired a bolt of electricity at them. From the other direction, wild Pidgeotto and Pidgeot swooped at them, Bonji only just avoiding serious harm when Sorrel’s Lucario leapt in front of him. Even Pikachu’s thunder wasn’t enough to deter them. There were just far too many, and that was just the Flying-types. A lot of those watching from the cliff were Ground-types, and Ash didn’t have a bike or a power plant this time. Against one, sure, he’d give it a shot. Against so many? No way.

“Looks like Marshadow wants to control all of you as well!” Bonji guessed.

Brock, who’d been midway through reaching for his belt, grimaced. “If we call our Pokémon out, they might get controlled too.”

Ash glanced up at Charizard, who caught his eye and nodded. Yeah. Charizard had broken free, but that was no guarantee the others would as well. Lucario was probably safe, and Piplup was small enough to be overlooked, but… If that happened to Pikachu…

“Ho-oh will never appear now that it’s come to this!”

GO: Where *is* Ho-oh?!  
[ADMIN] WW: WE CANT CONTACT HIM  
[ADMIN] WW: I CANT DEACTIVATE THE DO NOT DISTURB  
DD: can he not *see* that this is going on?!  
TT: told you  
TT: blind as a zubat  
CS: Can we not insult my father, please?!

This time, all of the Pokémon on the cliff attacked, forcing them all to leap to a lower ledge. At the very least, nobody hurt themselves doing it. The last thing they needed was for someone to get hurt now.

For the first time, Ash realized that Cross had fallen back with them. His fist tightened, but… no. This was no time to pin the blame. He’d just watched his partner turn on him. The look that was in his eyes… that was punishment enough for now.

That didn’t stop Misty from striding up to him and slapping him. “What were you thinking?!” she yelled into his face. “Did you think Ho-oh was going to fight just _anyone_?!”

“Misty—”

Cross turned away. He didn’t have anything he could say.

“Young man!” Ash looked left to see Bonji addressing him. “You have to get the Rainbow Wing back! Marshadow is getting its power from the Rainbow Wing!” They could barely see the top of the Throne from where they’d landed, but they could still see Marshadow on its peak, the blackened feather in his grasp. Since taking hold of it, he’d barely moved. “And there’s only one person who can get it back. That is you!”

Yeah, he figured that. It’s all up to you, Chosen One. Zapdos had said that sarcastically multiple times in the months when it’d just been him, the birds and Mew in the Kanto memo. Now it was for real. Ash found himself missing that sarcasm already. It had barely been a few hours since they’d last spoken, and right now it felt much longer than that. Right now… he could probably do with an intervention from his friends.

But they weren’t here. He was. “Then I’ve got to do it!”

By his side, Pikachu agreed. This wasn’t just about them any more. It was about the wild Pokémon, it was about Cross’s Lycanroc, it was about Marshadow. And everybody would help, if they could.

DN: Should we still be watching this?  
DN: We should be acting!  
BG: We’ve got problems of our own here dealing with reinforcements  
BG: You act  
DN: I’m too far away.  
DN: Mew?  
DD: whatever this stuff is, i can’t teleport through it.  
DD: it’s up to me and the beasts to keep as many of the locals from joining in as we can.  
BT: im staying as far away from this as possible  
CS: No you are not!  
CS: You are going to come over here and help!  
BT: not likely

  


TN: didn’t see the pingu knowing hydro pump.  
TN: that’s pretty good.  
SW: -|===> …How are you so casual about all of this?!  
NT: Oh, you haven’t spoken to Latias much?  
NT: She thinks this is boring.  
TN: look, i bore easily.  
TN: ash vs ho-oh?  
TN: yeah, that’s gonna be great.  
TN: a bunch of pokémon turned evil?  
TN: seen it before, yawn.  
NT: You have *not* seen it before!  
[MOD] SC: Latias, Latios, calm down.  
[MOD] SC: Just because Groudon and Kyogre just knocked each other out doesn’t mean I *need* another feud to mediate.

  


DD: nono ash don’t do  
GO: He  
GO: He ran over a Rhyhorn that was charging at him!  
TT: yes  
TT: that’s the way you do it  
[MOD] NM: Who Encouraged Him To Run Directly At Rhyhorn ? !  
TT: me  
TT: obviously  
[MOD] NM: Why ? !  
TT: why not

  


WC: thats exactly why lucario are awesome  
ST: Lemme guess.  
ST: But not as ‘awesome’ as you, right?  
WC: hole in one ter  
WC: but not actually a hole in one cause im the only one allowed to get those  
[MOD] MC: SHUT UP, VICTINI.

Admittedly, Ash completely failed to notice Cross’s Lycanroc right up until it was in front of him. By the same measure, he’d failed to notice that Cross himself had kept up with him right up until he tackled his Pokémon out of Ash’s way, causing its readied attack to discharge into the ground around them. “Cross!”

“I’ve got to do this!” Cross snapped back, pinning Lycanroc to the ground. “Go—” he grunted as the wolf bit down on his arm, and Ash winced, but he continued running anyway. He was grateful for the save.

DD: owwwww!  
DD: that’s going to leave a mark!  
GO: Uxie, can you possibly point that camera somewhere else?  
GO: As bad as Cross is I don’t want to see him get a chunk ripped out of his arm. :/  
[MOD] NM: Sorry .  
OG: Suicune  
OG: Can you not, like  
OG: Help

The Pokémon weren’t doing well enough. Darkness expanded, reached out, searching for more. It knew there were more powerful bodies out there.

It found four of them.

CS: I’m trying!  
CS: It’s like there’s a  
CS:  
CS:  
CS: ?  
[MOD] GW: Suicune?  
BG:  
BT:  
DD: what the  
BG: What  
BG: What  
BG: I  
blazingGlory [BG] fled the memo.  
[SYSTEM]: Account No. 61 (blazingGlory) force quit. (Unknown error.)  
[ADMIN] WW: SHIT  
[ADMIN] WW: SHIT SHIT SHIT  
[ADMIN] WW: @ADMINISTRATOR  
boltfromTheblue [BT] fled the memo.  
[SYSTEM]: Account No. 60 (boltfromTheblue) force quit. (Unknown error.)  
[ADMIN] WW: GUARDIANS IM BACKING YOU ALL THE WAY UP  
[MOD] NM: I Don’t Feel Anything ?  
[ADMIN] WW: THE REVERSE WORLD PORTAL IS MUTING IT BUT I DONT WANT TO RISK IT  
GO: Giratina, what’s happening?!  
[ADMIN] WW: THE NEGATIVITYS FEEDING BACK THROUGH MARSHADOW  
[ADMIN] WW: ITS SEEKING OUT THE BEASTS  
[ADMIN] WW: SUICUNE YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THERE  
[ADMIN] WW: @ADMINISTRATOR @ADMINISTRATOR  
CS: I  
CS: It’s  
CS: In my  
CS: Head  
TT: fuck  
CS: GET OUT OF MY HEAD  
crystallineSlush [CS] fled the memo.  
[SYSTEM]: Account No. 62 (crystallineSlush) force quit. (Unknown error.)  
COT: shiiiiit  
DD: oh shit!  
DD: i’m gonna  
DD: shit  
DD: i can feel it too  
[ADMIN] WW: MEW  
[ADMIN] WW: MOVE  
DD: auuuugh!  
decibelDrama [DD] fainted.  
GO: That’s not the same message.  
GO: Giratina!  
[ADMIN] WW: HOLD  
[ADMIN] WW: I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED  
decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
DD: ow FUCK  
[ADMIN] WW: MEW WHAT HAPPENED  
DD: i flew straight into a cliff on purpose.  
DD: hurts like fuck but i can think again!  
SG: Are you sure, Mew?  
OG: Last thing we need is another evil cat  
OG: World’s got enough of those already  
COT: …  
DD: i mean everything hurts but i can’t feel anything eating at me like i did before?  
TT: but what about the others  
DD: right!  
DD: i’m gonna make sure the beasts don’t show themselves!

It wasn’t by coincidence that Charizard moved the focus for his battle with the Arbok close to where Cross was grappling with Lycanroc. Finally, he’d done the right thing. He’d come back. He’d get Lycanroc back. If he didn’t learn anything from _that_ … well, he was a lost cause. But that wasn’t going to be the case. Cross wouldn’t do it again.

He could hear the trainer speaking. “Ngh… you bit me the day we met too, remember?” …he’d bitten Charmander, too. “ _Remember?_ ” Lycanroc snarled. “Lycanroc, remember!”

 _Teeth were deep enough to hurt, but not enough to break skin. Rule #1: if the enemy gets this close, you’ve already lost._ That was pretty much the first thing he’d ever learned. The second thing had been a multitude of what he only learned later were curse words.

Charizard couldn’t help but butt in, even though his claws were very much occupied with the snake. “ _Lycanroc, wake the FUCK up! Cross came back for you, so you have to come back for him now!_ ”

“ _…Cross…?_ ”

DD: i got suicune and entei!  
DD: thank you grass whistle!  
DD: now where the fuck’s raikou?!  
COT: raikou was further away than the others!  
[MOD] NM: Mountain Path !  
[MOD] NM: He’s Too Close Now !

There was another, unfamiliar roar, and Ash turned back, paling to see a trail of lightning blazing towards him at speed with Raikou at its head. This was exactly what they didn’t need! They were having trouble as it was with regular Pokémon and now they had to deal with a legendary as well?! Oh, this would have been much easier if he still had some of those bread things from Amaranth Town…

One idea occurred, but he’d only get one shot. Thanking everything that she was still on his current team, he flung Pidgeotto’s Pokéball off his belt. “Pidgeotto! Use Whirlwind!” There were Pidgeotto among the controlled wild Pokémon, but it seemed that the force had stopped seeking out new Pokémon to control. On the day he’d had Pidgeotto learning Whirlwind, when Metapod needed saving, she’d accidentally hit Suicune and blown her away, without even knowing that the legendary was there. Actually having a single target would help, right? The bird emerged with a shrill cry, already preparing the attack. Raikou was _fast_. Ash knew that the beasts were quick, but he didn’t know they were that quick!

Fortunately, Pidgeotto got the move off before the window of opportunity slammed shut, and moments before he would have knocked Charizard over, Raikou gave a strangled, almost comical yelp as the great gust of wind picked him up off the ground and catapulted him into the sky. Ash winced. _Sorry, Raikou_. Just when it seemed he was going to disappear in a Team Rocket-reminiscent sparkle, something pink shot out from behind the rocks and fired him back towards the ground, out of sight on a lower part of the ridge.

He almost thought he saw Mew giving him a quick salute.

DD: thanks ash!

He was out of tricks now, though. As much as he’d trained his Pokémon, the wild Pokémon that were attacking them were both brainwashed and much more powerful. Eevee and Squirtle were too small, and sending out Kangaskhan would put her child at risk. He’d left his party as it was since before Dark City. He didn’t think he’d need any of the others right now. Up here he’d only expected to be fighting Ho-oh with Pikachu. Which of his other Pokémon would be of use up here? Maybe Muk?

Too late for what-ifs and maybes now though.

With most of the wild Pokémon focused on the others, the only one left in front of him was Marshadow, still perched atop the Throne, staring… passively? “Marshadow!” Ash called out, panting. “Give me the Rainbow Wing! We can still fix this!”

Any hope that he’d listen to reason was quickly dashed, as the ghost vaulted down to ground level and threw a Shadow Ball at them.

“Dodge it, Pikachu!” He tried again. “Marshadow! We don’t want to hurt you!”

SG: …  
SG: It won’t do any good.  
SG: Marshadow has closed the door to his heart.  
TT: huh what  
SG: I heard rumors.  
SG: Pokémon tainted by an unnatural evil.  
SG: Shadow Pokémon, they’re called.  
SG: They shut out all emotion and become nothing but mindless fighting machines.  
OG: Nice but do those rumors tell you how to fix them  
SG: They do not.

Marshadow and Pikachu traded blows, the former launching multiple Shadow Balls, the latter doing his best to dodge those he could and swat back those he couldn’t with Iron Tail. There was barely any time to get set up with an electric attack before the next Shadow Ball came in. The fight couldn’t go on like this! Was… was it even possible to win without hurting Marshadow? None of this was his fault, and… Ash didn’t like it.

Against Ho-oh, it would have been different. They knew they were going to be fighting, and Ho-oh had assured him that he wouldn’t be capable of permanently hurting him. But Marshadow… what was going through his head right now? Was he even aware of who he was fighting?

He had to risk it. “ _Marshadow!_ It’s me! Ash! Wake up!”

SG: …Cross helped them.  
TT: which camera’s that on  
GO: Azelf’s.  
SG: …  
SG: So he *can* change.  
SG: His reality has been turned around, and he has accepted it.  
TT: but is that a good thing  
SG: Clearly.  
SG: It is the first step of turning enemies into fr  
SG: Charizard!  
GO: Hffffff

_Can’t… breathe…_

“ _COMIN’ THROUGH!_ ”

MU: Cavalry’s here!  
BN: And that’x why, Zygarde exxepted, I hate xnakex.

What— Who— Gasping for breath as the Arbok was forcefully removed from his neck, Charizard looked up to see Onix swinging the snake around by its tail. Brock had finally decided to join in, then… so had Misty, because he could hear Starmie shouting nonsense like it usually did. Overhead, Pidgeotto had engaged the aerial attackers. Now… now things were going to change.

…if only that were the case. Almost immediately the area they were battling in was peppered with large boulders, forcing all of them to retreat. Charizard found himself picking up Lycanroc and almost throwing him out of the way. The good news: they were safe. The bad news… the boulders on the ground and the attacks flying through the air were preventing any of them from reaching Ash.

DN: @sevenStar  
[ADMIN] WW: IT WONT DO YOU ANY GOOD  
[ADMIN] WW: HES NOT LOGGED IN  
[ADMIN] WW: HIS ACCOUNTS LOCKED  
SG: Why aren’t your siblings coming to help?!  
[ADMIN] WW: I DONT KNOW

Marshadow hesitated, but only for a moment, and went right back into a defensive stance. Ash gritted his teeth. So they were going to have to do it the hard way.

“Let’s go, buddy!”

“Pika, pika!” Pikachu fired a burst of electricity directly at Marshadow, who… turned… greenish?

DN: Oh, shit.  
DN: He’s going Zenith.

Some kind of energy flared up, and several of what Ash recognized from Rota as Aura Spheres shot out of it. “Pikachu, dodge it!” But the spheres _homed in_ , and as soon as Pikachu had jumped over the first one, the rest swerved upwards and hit him, one after the other, juggling him in the air. “Pikachu!” Think of something, think of something… “Use Thunderbolt!” His partner did so, and in response, Marshadow leapt upwards into a kick, straight up the path of the electricity.

Two seconds. Three. Four. Five. Pikachu kept going but so did Marshadow and one of them had to run out of energy first—

It was Pikachu.

The explosion knocked Ash off his feet, and as he picked himself up, Pikachu hit the ground a few yards away. Even from a distance, Ash could tell he wasn’t looking good. “Pikachu!” He ran over and scooped the mouse up off the floor. He was in bad shape, battered, completely exhausted. He… they… needed to get out of there! He turned, took a step, realized that the wild Pokémon had suddenly decided to shift their focus back to him, and fled in the opposite direction.

Only when he nearly fell off the cliff did Ash realize he’d gone the wrong way. Cornered. Cut off. Maybe he could— No! He hadn’t noticed it at the time, but the rest of the Pokéballs had fallen off his belt! At the very least they were probably safe - they’d rolled up against the cliff wall, well out of the way - but… an attack fired by a Nidoking stopped him in his tracks, forcing him to spin and cover Pikachu with his body.

COT: i can’t watch!  
current outtaTime [COT] fled the memo.

Everything ached. But this couldn’t be the end! He wouldn’t let it! The blast had knocked Pikachu clear of him, and Ash struggled to reach out, to crawl towards his partner. Even so, they couldn’t win this. There was only one hope. Grimacing, he reached into a bag pocket, pulled Pikachu’s Pokéball out, and expanded it. It was cold in his hand. Unused since they’d set off.

“Pikachu, get inside, please?” he begged, rolling the ball towards the Electric-type. “I know you can’t stand going inside your Pokéball, but you’ll be protected!” At that moment, he stood a better chance of surviving anything else that was thrown at them. Pikachu was on his last legs. Pokéballs were durable, right? He could hear the other Pokémon charging further attacks. This wasn’t going to be…

DN: Mew, any time you want to interrupt, that would be great!  
DD: i can’t!  
DD: i’m trying to keep raikou down!  
DD: he won’t stay still!  
DD: i don’t know when or how he changed his ability to insomnia, but i can’t put him to sleep!  
[MOD] GW: GiratinaYouNeedToLetUsThrough!  
[ADMIN] WW: NO  
[ADMIN] WW: YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BEASTS  
[ADMIN] WW: ITLL JUST DRAG YOU UNDER  
[ADMIN] WW: AND IF YOU GO YOULL PULL THE WORLD WITH YOU  
[ADMIN] WW: @DOCTORWHOM @WALKABOUTDISTRIBUTOR @THEONE HELP

Determination flooded through him. Ash dragged himself to his feet and turned around, to scowl in defiance. “Now, you look!” he told the assembled Pokémon. He didn’t know if they could hear him. He didn’t care. “I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with! I’m Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town! I’m going to be the world’s greatest Pokémon Master!” This was Day One all over again, with the Spearow. Except… no boosts from Zekrom this time. This time it really was all up to him. “Mess with me and you’re going to lose!” If they wanted Pikachu, he’d make them work for it.

They fired.

Time seemed to slow down. Only seconds remained before the attacks would hit him full force. It was going to hurt, but it would keep Pikachu safe. What kind of Pokémon Master would do anything different?

Then—

Ash felt a weight on his back as something scrambled up it, before Pikachu launched himself off his shoulder, just like the first time.

Only this time, Pikachu was already spent, and there was no legendary dragon in the clouds above.

TT: mew  
TT: raikou has pressure points behind his ears  
DD: wh  
DD: okay i don’t know how you knew that but it worked!  
DD:  
DD: fuck, i still can’t teleport!  
DD: where is he?!  
[MOD] GW: HesOnTheOutcropNearTheThrone!

He was right. It hurt. But they were still alive, and that was what was important. The two of them had landed back next to Pikachu’s Pokéball, which the mouse himself had abandoned.

Maybe… maybe this _was_ the end. But if… if there was one thing he still needed to know… “Pikachu… why won’t you get in your Pokéball?”

He became aware Pikachu was saying something. It was almost lost through the noise in his ears. Then, as clear as day—

PIKACHU: It’s because… I always want to be with you…

Ash’s eyes widened. Pikachu, he…

Ignoring any further protest, he picked up the ball and tapped it against Pikachu’s head. Only when he saw the red glow fade did he finally relax. He’d protect Pikachu. He was his trainer. That was his job.

Behind him, he could hear the others shouting. He couldn’t move. The best he could do was shield his friend’s ball from whatever came next—

_ASH!_

A pink rocket shot in over his right shoulder. And

everything

faded

to

grey.

decibelDrama [DD] fainted.  
wonkyWindlass [WW] stopped streaming.  
wonkyWindlass [WW] fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp.
> 
> At this point I had to find a realistic reason for A) Ash to not use any of his other Pokémon and B) none of the rest of the party Pokémon to get in the way otherwise. Pidgeotto got pulled for an emergency - poor Raikou - but at this point Ash is almost completely focused on Pikachu, and the rest of the Pokémon he’s got are actually quite vulnerable (blame his preference for small, nimble Pokémon). Muk would be useful here, but, alas, Ash is still procrastinating on that front. Otherwise… Kangaskhan’s a bit of a tank in a proper battle scenario, but not in something like this. In canon, he doesn’t get a big powerhouse until Snorlax in the Orange Islands (when not asleep) or Heracross in Johto otherwise. Kingler doesn’t count, since if Ash *had* caught him here he’d probably still be a Krabby at this point.
> 
> Anyway. Ash vs Marshadow, which is the second-last section of the story I wrote, Ash vs Raikou, Mew vs Entei, Suicune *and* Raikou, and general panicking from the legendaries who are basically stuck watching a terrible accident in slow motion. You can’t look away. Your eyes are glued to the action, and you’re left wondering who’s going to pick up the pieces. Which is what you’re doing now. Find out tomorrow!
> 
> Do you know? To date, Raikou’s single scene in I Choose You is the *only* time Ash has even met Raikou. Outside of ambiguously canon specials, Raikou appeared once in the background of a Johto episode and that was *it*. Somehow that evolved in this story into him being a lazy brat who spends most of his time cooped up in his dad’s basement, so I had to drag him into this kicking and screaming. Shadow Pokémon are of course imported from the Gamecube games.
> 
> If I'm honest, narrative-wise, this is the part I'm least happy with. You can tell, because it basically *is* what happens in I Choose You, save for the series characters and Raikou, and I use the chat boxes to avoid awkward transititions that I can't find a way to write properly.


	62. 'Episode' 59, Act 3 (The Trial of the Rainbow Hero)

doctorWhom [DW] unlocked memo EMERGENCY MEETING.  
theOne [TO] responded to [Emergency Meeting].  
TO: Dialga.  
TO: What happened?  
DW: Ash died.  
walkaboutDistributor [WD] responded to [Emergency Meeting].  
TO: I’m on my way.  
DW: Just checked Giratina.  
DW: Unconscious from sympathetic aural shock.  
DW: Fortunately for us, that cut the stream.  
WD: omw  
TO: How long ago?  
DW: Real time 2.2 seconds.  
DW: We’re in trouble, Father. Not only is Ash time-locked, this is a keystone event.  
DW: I can’t revise this so it never happened. I couldn’t even pause time, only slow it down.  
DW: If we don’t do something, time is going to fall apart at the seams and I won’t be able to do a damn thing about it.  
TO: How long have we got?  
DW: Five minutes of real time, maximum.  
DW: Ash stays dead any longer than that and he takes everything with him.  
DW: And I mean *everything*.  
TO: …Okay.  
TO: Fill me in.  
DW: As you know, Ash was moments away from using the Rainbow Wing to summon Ho-oh.  
DW: He was intercepted by the trainer he rescued Charmander from earlier in the year.  
DW: That trainer stole the Wing, blackened it, and flooded the throne with negativity.  
DW: Marshadow attempted to clear it, but was too late, and the negativity infected him. He took control of the local Pokémon, as well as Ho-oh’s children.  
DW: Ash took several direct hit attacks.  
DW: Mew dove in to intercept but only managed to deflect about half of them.  
DW: I…  
DW: Father, I was distracted by a temporal anomaly.  
DW: If I’d been paying attention…  
WD: Dialga, it wasn’t just you. I had problems of my own to deal with.  
TO: …  
TO: I’m here.

### Act 3: Trial of Thunder

Arceus landed gracefully on the shelf, and quickly took in the scene. Ash’s friends and other Pokémon, off to one side amid the destroyed terrain. Marshadow, with a passive expression frozen on his face. The native Pokémon. Mew, in a half-crushed bubble of psychic energy. And… the spot where only a shimmering mirage of Ash’s aura remained. Dialga had acted quickly, but not quickly enough. A few real-time seconds earlier and perhaps he could have been teleported to safety. Instead, there was simply a solitary Pokéball and a hat flying through the air.

Though, he had to give Mew credit. Had she not leapt in for an attempted save, there was no doubt the ball would have been obliterated as well, along with that entire section of the rock shelf for good measure. As it was, what she’d managed to deflect speared into the ground to her left, kicking up an enormous cloud of dust. A cloud of dust which, by chance, completely obscured the area where Ash had been.

Thus, it took him mere moments to formulate a plan.

TO: Dialga, I want… Xerneas and Darkrai, as fast as you please.  
DW: At once.  
TO: Palkia, are you here?

There was an almost imperceptible pop of displaced air as his daughter arrived. Of course, she wasn’t teleporting; she’d stayed still and moved the entirety of the universe around them. It wasn’t the most elegant method of movement.

WD: I am now.  
TO: Take Mew and get her to safety.  
TO: Then I want you to perpetuate that dust cloud.  
TO: It’s already blocking the others’ view of what’s going on. I won’t have them aware of Ash’s death if I can help it.  
barkNecessarily [BN] joined [Emergency Meeting].  
WD: What about Marshadow and the native Pokémon?  
TO: We’ll deal with them later.  
TO: Ash takes priority.  
BN: What?  
BN: Axh juxt  
BN: Dialga juxt  
BN: Huh?

More displaced air heralded the arrival of Xerneas, who tripped over immediately, followed by Dialga and Darkrai.

nightmareUnleaded [NU] joined [Emergency Meeting].  
BN: Ow.  
DW: I know both of you were watching the stream.  
DW: That last blast just killed Ash.  
TO: We’re going to bring him back to life.  
NU: THEN WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR.  
TO: Find him.  
TO: Delay him.  
TO: Spin a nightmare construct if you have to.  
TO: Just don’t let him leave.  
TO: Xerneas and I will take care of his body. You need to save his soul.  
NU: HMPH.  
NU: I’LL NEVER HEAR THE END OF THIS.  
TO: Just do it, Darkrai.  
TO: Cresselia never needs to know.

Darkrai almost seemed to dissipate. But he would do as he was told. That would leave the rest of them to deal with the real world.

A noise to one side momentarily diverted their attention, reminding them that time was still moving; the Pokéball, which had since come to a stop with Ash’s battered hat resting atop it, was in the process of popping open. Pikachu was on his way. They needed to work quickly. Unlike everybody else, Pikachu _wouldn’t_ be blinded by the dustcloud, and Ash’s death would be perfectly obvious. Pikachu wouldn’t see them - thanks to Dialga, no organic eye would be able to keep up - but he _would_ see no Ash. And who knew what reaction that was going to bring out.

First things first. Gently, Arceus pushed a single golden-tipped foot down into the heart of Ash’s aura afterimage. There was a little resistance, but it pushed through and met the ground, pinning the image down. If this were any other human, he’d see their life stretched out before him, but Ash was… special. In more ways than one. Thin strands of aura, barely visible, linked to not only the materializing Pikachu but also stretched away through the cloud to his friends. Others still faded off into the distance, surely those bound to the Pokémon he didn’t have with him. In the middle of it all, the red strand that marked him as Chosen, that if followed would eventually reach Giratina. Ash’s life touched so many people already, and he’d been going for less than a year.

For such a life to end prematurely was _unacceptable_. Although…

Something was… different. He didn’t let it distract him, but… he could almost _swear_ that Ash _wasn’t quite dead._

BN: What do you need me for?  
TO: Workload support.  
TO: There is a life at stake here, Xerneas. I’ll not risk getting things wrong.  
TO: If we don’t do this right, Ash could end up trapped in his ten-year-old body for the rest of his life.  
BN: …That would be very bad.  
TO: Exactly.  
TO: Dialga, watch Pikachu, please. We’re going to be busy.  
DW: I’m more concerned about Charizard.  
DW: I think he’s about to go berserk.

For the Creator, the Original One, bringing a soul back from the beyond should have been easy, especially with Xerneas by his side. But despite that, and despite the pressing need for urgency, Arceus was determined that care should take precedence over speed. Cutting corners with such a task was out of the question. Once Darkrai had secured Ash’s inner essence it would go smoother. For now, there was little point in waiting.

The world remembered Ash Ketchum. What remained on the ground was only a snapshot - an afterimage of the boy as he had been moments before - but it was enough to start with, to begin to rebuild his physical form. As he began, Arceus glanced downwards, and winced as Pikachu was in the middle of attempting to place Ash’s discarded hat on the afterimage just as it faded from view. Ideally Pikachu too should be oblivious, but it was far too late for that.

Seconds ticked by in the real world, while in their bubble it stretched out into minutes. The two quadrupeds poured everything they had into their task, weaving life back from the brink.

NU: WHAT THE **********FUCK**********.  
DW: What is it?  
NU: HE’S TRYING TO CLIMB OUT.  
NU: BY ***HIMSELF***.  
NU: I’VE GOT HIM BUT YOU’D BETTER HURRY THE FUCK UP.  
NU: HE’S TRYING TO COME BACK TO LIFE WHETHER YOU’RE READY FOR HIM OR NOT.  
DW: That’s impossi  
DW: How many times have we put that label on something Ash has done?  
DW: Hold him. We’ll let you know wh  
DW: FATHER!

Arceus looked up. Saw Pikachu’s cheeks sparking. And acted. With a single thought his Earth Plate formed and grew, spinning out to create a Ground-based shield that would protect them from the electric mouse’s explosion of grief.

Pikachu’s discharge completely ignored it.

The electricity was indiscriminate, detonating the entirety of the Electric-type’s reserve in a single release. It went forwards, hitting Arceus, Xerneas, Palkia, Marshadow and the native Pokémon. It went backwards, almost knocking Dialga out of the sky. It went upwards, clearing the stormclouds that had been boiling overhead ever since the blackened feather had touched the Throne. Just about the only area it _didn’t_ hit was the space containing Ash’s friends.

WD: WHAT THE FUCK  
DW: SHIT  
BN: MERDE

Three trains of thought fired through Arceus’ head as he got to experience a very slow electrocution. One: The sheer impossibility of _any_ Electric attack bypassing his Earth Plate. Of course he’d been aware of Pikachu’s history of electrocuting Ground-types, but they weren’t him. Two: He _knew_ that power. He’d seen it before, somewhere, sometime in the past. Too far in the past to remember.

The third: it was power he could put to good use.

Pikachu remembered Ash best of all.

Though painful, he forced all of the charge he was taking in down through His foot and straight into Ash’s resurrection. It was just the thing they needed. With that last burst of energy, they had everything Ash’s resurrection required. All that remained… was Ash himself.

TO:  
TO:  
TO: Are the three of you okay?  
BN: I’m fine… I think. Xtill xparking, but fine.  
DW: Ow.  
DW: Are we… really sure that’s a Pikachu?  
WD: How  
WD: How much longer is this going to take?  
WD: I have to hurl.  
DW: On the plus side… I think that blast just purged the darkness from Marshadow, and in turn, the other Pokémon, so we don’t have to worry about them…  
TO: …  
TO: I need to go in and speak to him.  
TO: Xerneas, do you have him?  
BN: I have him.

Carefully, Arceus stepped back, ensuring that the waiting aura was entirely supported by Xerneas as he did so. Nearly there. He took a breath - a completely unnecessary motion - and dropped himself into Darkrai’s nightmare.

At first, hardly anything seemed to change. The world faded into greyscale, and everything that wasn’t a part of the environment disappeared completely. Then two apparitions appeared: Darkrai, and Ash. Darkrai appeared to be impatient, eye screwed shut, tapping his fingers in irritation. Ash was… calm. More so than he expected from somebody who was… well, dead.

ARCEUS: Ash.

Ash spun round, gasping silently.

ASH: arceus?!  
ASH: is it  
ASH: did i…  
ARCEUS: …  
ARCEUS: There is no point in dancing around the subject.  
ARCEUS: Yes.  
ARCEUS: You did die.  
ASH: …  
ASH: did i save pikachu at least?  
ARCEUS: You did.  
ARCEUS: And I believe Pikachu saved Marshadow, and the other Pokémon, in his grief.  
ASH: that’s…  
ASH: that’s good, i guess.  
ASH: …  
DARKRAI: JUST GET TO THE FUCKING POINT ALREADY.  
ARCEUS: Watch your language.  
ARCEUS: Ash, we are prepared to bring you back to life.  
ASH: you are?!  
ARCEUS: I only need one thing from you.  
ASH: what is it?  
ARCEUS: I will not - I cannot - return you to a world you have no desire to return to.  
ARCEUS: I need you to tell me to do this.

He smiled.

ARCEUS: Give me an instruction, Pokémon Master.  
ASH: …yeah.  
ASH: i’m not finished yet.  
ASH: i’m not done until i’ve made my dream come true!  
DARKRAI: GIVE ME A BREAK.  
ASH: you shut up!

Darkrai looked mildly offended.

ASH: you know i don’t give up until the end!  
ASH: and this isn’t the end, not by a long shot!  
ASH: arceus, use revitalize!  
ARCEUS: …  
ARCEUS: Ash, that’s  
ARCEUS: Not actually a

Ash… such a strange child, even considering his heritage. It was just like that first day, only even _more_ incongruous. Here he was, dead, albeit about to be revived, and he was as determined as if nothing had ever happened. Against all odds, Mew had been a good influence on him.

…Revitalize. Why not?

ARCEUS: Very well.  
ARCEUS: Do not tell *anyone* about this.  
ARCEUS: Only myself, my trio, Darkrai and Xerneas are aware of what has happened here.  
ARCEUS: We will speak again in private once the day is done.

  


TO: Are you ready to release him?  
BN: I’m ready if you are, Arceux.  
DW: Once you release him I’m going to have to put him straight back into real time.  
DW: Otherwise he’s never going to make it back.  
DW: I should also mention that… I think Pikachu can hear you in there.  
NU: STFU.

Arceus bowed his head, and reconnected Ash’s soul to his aura. The boy immediately vanished.

TO: He’s on his way up.  
BN: Releaxed.  
BN: Connexion xuccexxful.  
DW: And he has returned to the normal flow of time.  
DW: We should evacuate.  
WD: Hear, hear.  
TO: Thank you, everyone.  
TO: If we’re lucky we’ll have pulled that off without drawing too much attention to ourselves.  
TO: We can let them believe that Mew saved him.  
wonkyWindlass [WW] responded to [Emergency Meeting].  
WW: UGH  
WW: WHAT HAPPENED  
WW: WHY IS TIME STOPPED  
DW: You may remember Ash being attacked by the native Pokémon around the Storms End Throne.  
DW: That last blast killed him.  
DW: You subsequently suffered from sympathetic aural shock which knocked you out.  
WW: OH  
TO: We have revived Ash, and he should be returning to the real world any moment now.  
WD: Good.  
WD: You try keeping a dustcloud going for three minutes of extended time.  
WD: Darkrai, are you back?  
NU: YES.  
WD: I’m getting us out of here.  
WD: I *need* to be sick.  
WD: Brother.  
DW: I’m going to stay and monitor the situation.  
WD: Okay.  
TO: Giratina, as soon as we exit extended time, you should reconnect to Ash’s memo and restart the stream.  
TO: We are the only ones aware that anything to this degree has happened.  
TO: To everybody else, you encountered a sudden situation which caused you to faint.  
TO: That should pass muster for Reshiram.  
WW: OK  
DW: …  
DW: Unbelievable.  
DW: Pikachu jumped into the resurrection portal.  
TO: Revitalization.  
TO: It has a name now.

When asked to describe it later, Ash found he couldn’t fully remember the final moments of Revitalize. He remembered running, he remembered Pikachu suddenly falling into his arms - a welcome sight after the… emptiness? Even though Arceus and Darkrai had been there, that’s how it had felt. Empty. In comparison, standing back on the ledge in the real world was… well, noisy. For a couple of minutes, he was acutely aware of his heart beating, of how warm Pikachu felt against him. Really, that was all that mattered.

PIKACHU: Ash…  
PIKACHU: I don’t know how you just did that, but…  
PIKACHU: You really had me worried there…!

Almost all, anyway, as the dust around them thinned and they were suddenly bowled over by Charizard.

CHARIZARD: ash  
CHARIZARD: you  
CHARIZARD: i  
CHARIZARD: i thought

Charizard looked at him funnily for a few seconds and then set his hat on fire.

CHARIZARD: dont you FUCKING DARE do that again!

And even though Ash couldn’t understand what was being said, the expression on Charizard’s face said it all. “I’m okay, Charizard. Thanks.”

wonkyWindlass [WW] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave wonkyWindlass [WW] the ‘administrator’ role.  
TT: fucking finally  
GO: Giratina, what happened?!  
GO: We saw Mew flying in, and then you both fainted!  
[ADMIN] WW: UH  
[ADMIN] WW: I ENCOUNTERED A SUDDEN SITUATION WHICH CAUSED ME TO FAINT  
OG: Doubt  
[ADMIN] WW: ONE MOMENT GUARDIANS  
[MOD] NM: Oh Good .  
[MOD] NM: I Thought We’d Be Stuck In Here Forever .  
doctorWhom [DW] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave doctorWhom [DW] the ‘administrator’ role.  
[MOD] GW: DontBeSoDramatic!  
DN: And where were you?!  
[ADMIN] DW: Busy making sure time didn’t fall apart, thank you.  
[ADMIN] DW: Believe it or not, there are some things we must do without interruptions.  
DN: I think we were perfectly justified in interrupting, given the circumstances!  
wonkyWindlass [WW] is now streaming!  
GO: He’s okay!  
SG: Thank goodness.  
GO: But…  
GO: What happened to all of the wild Pokémon?  
GO: What… happened to Marshadow?

  


[MOD] MS: There we are.  
[MOD] MS: Technical difficulties, I presume.  
US: bulushit  
SU: Stop saying that!  
US: somethin happened  
NB: Dyd anyone see Xerneas leave?  
NB: Y know Solgaleo left, but Y dydn’t see Xerneas going anywhere.  
MU: Oh, he’s not here any more?  
barkNecessarily [BN] responded to [That Plant On Ula’ula We Don’t Talk About].  
MU: There he is.  
BN: Xorry.  
BN: Xomething… cropped up that I needed to deal with.

  


WC: ugh finally  
WC: took long enough  
WC: what  
WC: am i alone in here or something  
[MOD] SB: No, we’re just busy.  
[MOD] SB: Just because there’s something else going on doesn’t mean the world stops turning.  
CM: AND WE JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE TALKING TO YOU.  
WC: ouch

  


SW: -|===> Well, the stream’s back…  
SW: -|===> @nestedTempo  
NT: Not now, Zacian, dealing with an emergency.  
tenaciousNova [TN] responded to [7.8/10 Too Much Water].  
TN: emergency over!  
NT: …  
NT: …  
NT: You’re a real piece of work, sister.  
TN: what?  
TN: what’d i do this time?  
TN: it wasn’t my fault, but what did i do?  
NT: We’ll talk about this later.  
groundShaker [GS] responded to [7.8/10 Too Much Water].  
GS: I’M. ONLY. BACK. BECAUSE. THE. OTHERS. ARE. GONE.  
tsunamiBeluga [TB] responded to [7.8/10 Too Much Water].  
TB: ~~~I’m only back because  
TB: ~~~Fuck  
GS: FUCK.  
skylineCrash [CS] responded to [7.8/10 Too Much Water].  
poryBot [PB] gave skylineCrash [SC] the ‘moderator’ role.  
GS: DOUBLE. FUCK.  
TB: ~~~Double fuck

“Ash!” Soon, all the others were there as well. Misty, Brock, Verity, Sorrel… the rest of their Pokémon who’d come out to help… Bonji… even Cross, standing in the background, seemed to be concerned, although as soon as he clocked that Ash was looking at him he pointedly looked the other way. Right… Arceus said. None of them knew that he’d… died. But what had they actually seen?

“Ash, what… what happened?” Misty asked. So much for that.

“Uh…” Ash rubbed the back of his neck, and glanced at Pikachu, who just shook his head. “I was hoping you could tell me. There was a lot of noise, and… I just woke up.” _Technically_ true, at any rate.

“A Pokémon saved, you, I think,” Sorrel said, getting a nod of confirmation from his Lucario, who stepped forward herself to deliver Ash’s loose Pokéballs. “I don’t know what it was, but it put itself between you and the attacks.”

“A Pokémon?” The streak of pink. Mew. It had to have been Mew.

“It’s like…” Verity fished around for something “…like you had a guardian angel looking after you!”

Ash’s mouth froze on its way to saying something else. Mew couldn’t, uh, couldn’t really be described as an angel, really…

[MOD] GW: Aha!  
[MOD] GW: IToldYouItdComeAroundDidntI!  
[MOD] GW: MewPlusAshEqualsGuardianAngelShipping!  
[MOD] NM: Is This Really The Time To Be Talking About Shipping, Mesprit ?  
[MOD] GW: TheresAlwaysTimeToTalkAboutShipping!  
GO: Hey, that’s right!  
GO: Wow!  
GO: Where’d Celebi go, anyway?  
[MOD] GW: SheAppearsToBeOffline.  
[MOD] GW: OhWell!  
SG: …  
SG: What’s happening now?

In all the excitement, Ash had completely forgotten about the Rainbow Wing, so to see it materialize in the air above his hands was just as a surprise to him as it was to the others. At the same time, color was restored to the crystal on the ledge, and— Marshadow! Suddenly remembering, he pushed past Brock just in time to see the little mythical sinking into the floor in silence.

Marshadow… couldn’t have meant for any of that to happen. What had _he_ felt, during all of that? Ash had to swallow the urge to pull out his phone. The setting Dialga had put on his account stopped anybody from messaging him, starting the conversation, but didn’t stop him from messaging out. Gah! And what about Ho-oh? Did Ho-oh know any of this was going on? He must’ve been waiting on the other mountain, waiting for the signal, wondering why it was taking so long.

“When a rainbow flower blooms upon Rainbow Rock, Ho-oh shall appear,” Bonji recited, to Sorrel’s nods. The Throne. The Wing belonged with the Throne. As he spoke, the native Pokémon that had been attacking almost seemed to bow away in shame.

It seemed almost impossible, Ash thought, turning the feather over in his fingers. Such a small thing caused so much trouble.

_Such a small thing. You’re going to cause so much trouble when you grow up._

Wh— Bonji spoke again, completely derailing the thought he’d been about to have. “Yes! Now go, young man!”

Right. Yes. Rainbow Wing. The Throne. Making sure Pikachu was secured on his shoulder, Ash ran towards the Throne. They needed to call Ho-oh before anything _else_ happened.

TT: it’s happening  
TT: it’s happening  
TT: where did i put the rest of that popcorn  
OG: I thought you didn’t have any left  
TT: i lied  
decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
DD: GAH  
[MOD] GW: MewYoureJustInTime!  
DD: did  
DD: did i do it?  
DD: did i get there in time?  
[ADMIN] DW: You did.  
[ADMIN] DW: And now we get to see what we were all here for in the first place.  
DD: i’m with the beasts…  
DD: don’t know how i got down here, but they’re all themselves again.  
future outtaTime [FOT] FIVE MINUTES FROM NOW responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
FOT: and i’m back!  
[ADMIN] DW: Celebi.  
FOT: my current self’s a little indisposed, don’t worry.  
OG: Who was worrying

The rainbow that erupted from the Throne when the Wing touched it, the way it was supposed to happen, was the best sight any of them had seen all day. It arced across the sky, connecting the Throne to another mountain in the distance.

_I’m here, Ho-oh. I’m ready._

And there he was.

Ash forced himself to breathe slowly as he watched the magnificent phoenix approach. This was what he was here for. Not for Cross, not for Marshadow… really, not even for Ho-oh. He was there for himself. In the future, when others asked how he became a Pokémon Master, he’d point to this moment, his first real battle with a legendary (losing to Entei, knocking out Suicune with a stray bolt and blowing Raikou away notwithstanding). Even if he lost… it would be enough to prove that it was all worth it.

No, he realized. It was worth it already. He had Pikachu. This was a bonus.

UN: this all seems needlessly dramatic.  
US: this comin from drama princess  
[MOD] MS: Let them have it, Diancie?  
[MOD] MS: Considering what’s about to happen, I think they can be allowed a little drama.  
[MOD] MS: Just sit back.  
[MOD] MS: Relax.  
[MOD] MS: This will be a battle to remember.

As Ho-oh flew overhead, he released an aurora of sparkles which showered over them. Ash felt his muscle aches fade away, and all it took was a glance at the others, and at the Pokémon who’d participated in the battle - Pikachu, Charizard, Pidgeotto, Lucario, Piplup, Onix, Starmie - to see that the battle scars they’d accrued in the past few hours were doing the same. He felt himself releasing a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. In the back of his head, he’d been worrying about how Pikachu would cope in the upcoming battle after everything that had happened. He’d have to remember to thank Ho-oh for that later.

TT: about fucking time  
SG: I am concerned by Ho-oh’s tardiness.  
SG: Surely he should have seen and/or heard what was going on here.  
[ADMIN] WW: YEAH  
[ADMIN] WW: SHOULDVE SEEN THAT FOR MILES AND MILES  
FOT: now that i think about it…  
FOT: i’m only a few miles further away that ho-oh would’ve been!  
FOT: i didn’t realize it ‘cause i was watching the stream, but i don’t think i saw anything out of the ordinary!  
[ADMIN] DW: I’ll investigate later.

“ _If this was anything else, I’d feel concerned,_ ” Pidgeotto remarked, examining the light dust which gradually faded from her wings.

Charizard looked at her. “ _Why?_ ”

“ _Because feeling like this normally means I’m mentally preparing for a crash landing._ ” The bird rolled her eyes.

“ _I don’t get it._ ”

“ _I’ll teach you about it later._ ” She tilted her head towards him, and probably would be smiling if her beak allowed for it. “ _Congratulations, Charizard._ ”

“ _Thanks._ ”

In front of them, Ash turned his head to look at Pikachu, on his shoulder. “Pikachu?”

Pikachu nodded. “ _Yeah. Let’s do this._ ”

[MOD] CW: did (lugia) come back  
GO: …No, he didn’t.  
DN: He’s pointedly ignoring all of my messages.  
DN: Just as well, I suppose.  
TT: i’d ignore your messages if i were lugia  
DN: Yes, well, you’re not, so kindly shut your beak.  
DN: We’ll just have to tell him about it later.

Then Ho-oh landed, and it suddenly became very clear why the crystal formation had the title of Storms End Throne. With Ho-oh perched atop it, the ledge - Rainbow Rock - was an audience hall. Wherever you stood on it, you had a clear view. Your eyes were drawn upwards.

Ash’s heart was racing as he ran up to stand in front of the legendary. This was where it had always been going. It was strange, looking at this bird and knowing that he was just someone that he could talk to at any time on the phone, that this was twiceMulticolored, the name on the other side of a chatroom. Here, though, they were just strangers, who’d never met in person before. It was even the truth, if you thought about it. He had never met this person before.

“Ho-oh!” he shouted, his voice cracking with excitement. “I challenge you to a battle!” With his left hand, he turned his cap so it was backwards on his head. “And don’t hold back!”

For a moment, Ho-oh stared at him passively, then he nodded in satisfaction. Everything that had happened today? It had only been a prologue to this. This was the day’s true battle. Cross, Marshadow, all of that was behind him for the moment. It was all just him, Pikachu, and Ho-oh, just as it had been on the first day.

Not counting, you know, Zekrom. Or Mew, or Suicune. Or everybody else who’d been in the chatroom. Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best phrase to use.

Ho-oh screeched and took off again, and Ash used the time to get into a better position. All eyes were on him. It was time to battle!

“Pikachu! Go!”

TO: All of our eyes are on you, Ash.  
TO: I know you won’t disappoint us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the actual movie, that's basically where the scene ends. You see the first few hits of the battle, and then it just cuts to later on at the Pokémon Center. Not here. All the chips are on the table. The final act of this episode is original to this story and depicts, in full, Ash's battle with Ho-oh. Then episode 60 is the denouement and the actual final scenes to the movie.
> 
> It's almost poetic, that the first real move instruction Ash gives to a legendary is to, of all Pokémon, Arceus, even if the legendary doesn't *belong* to him nor is it a real move. Arceus may have only meant it figuratively, but as we all know, Ash gets overenthusiastic sometimes. The implication is that whatever Ash does in the timeline where he *doesn't* have the legendaries helping him out somehow results in him getting stuck as an eternal ten-year-old. *Somehow.* It wasn't really a mystery that needed solving, but I just gave it a solution anyway.
> 
> While most of the story naturally lends itself to comedy, the movies tend to end up more in drama than anything else, because... well, they're movies. Don't worry, we'll be getting right back to shenanigans once the air's cleared. Ash is that sort of person.
> 
> In the original formatting for this chapter I capitalized all of the 'He' and 'His' referring to Arceus, because he is the Creator of this world. But I cut that because a) it felt awkward and b) it's Arceus's own (third-person) narration, and I don't feel he would necessarily refer to himself with Capital Letters like that.


	63. 'Episode' 59, Act 4 (The Trial of the Rainbow Hero)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Mood music.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1OjrNzcUb0&t=839s) (13:59-15:57)

UT: is it really all right?  
UT: for me to fight you?  
TM: Ash, trust me.  
TM: You would not be the first.  
UT: the thing is…  
UT: you’re a friend, ho-oh.  
UT: i don’t know if i could do it.  
TM: Misty’s your friend, and you had no problem fighting her in Cerulean Gym.  
UT: that was different!  
TM: How so?  
UT: i wasn’t actually *fighting* misty!  
UT: i was fighting her pokémon!  
UT: i wasn’t going to be hurting her!  
TM: …This is true.  
TM: But we are Pokémon. This is a reality we face every day of our lives.  
TM: And I trust that you will fight fairly.  
TM: Not to disparage your or their ability, but your Pokémon will tire long before they do any permanent damage to me.  
TM: I know my limits. You know your Pokémon’s.  
TM: We each know when we would be unable to continue.  
UT: i guess that’s right…  
TM: I will do for you the same as I have with previous Rainbow Heroes who challenged me.  
TM: I have the move Recover, which allows me to restore my health.  
TM: Moreover, I have enough energy that I would be able to use it multiple times, and simply outlast you.  
TM: As you can imagine this would make the battle supremely unfair.  
TM: While our battle is ongoing, I will not use it.  
UT: wouldn’t that just be holding back?  
TM: To be perfectly frank, I’ve never needed to use it.  
TM: I consider that if anybody was to put me in the position that I would not be able to continue *without* using Recover,  
TM: They have more than earned their victory.  
TM: Ash.  
TM: Fight me with Pikachu, one against one.  
TM: We each get one shot.  
TM: Give me your all, and I will give you mine.  
TM: Sound fair?  
UT: …  
UT: yeah.  
UT: let’s do it.  
TM: Excellent.  
TM: I’ll see you up ahead.  
TM: Good luck.

### Act 4: Trial of the Phoenix

“All right! Use Thunderbolt!”

Pikachu’s first initiative attack splashed off Ho-oh’s breast like it was water. That was fine. It wasn’t like Ash was expecting to win in one hit, even with type advantage.

Yesterday, he’d had to fend off several attempts by the other legendaries to give him tips on how to fight Ho-oh. He appreciated that they were trying to help, but he wanted this battle entirely his way, however it ended up. He was, effectively, going in blind. Only one fact had been retained: Ho-oh’s signature move, Sacred Fire. If Pikachu took a hit from that, that would basically put a time limit on the rest of the battle. So avoiding that was step one.

Step two… he hadn’t got that far yet.

He’d realized also that the key thing to the battle was not to pay much attention to the fact that he was fighting a legendary. Ho-oh was a bird, so really all he had to do was imagine he was fighting a much bigger _Pidgeotto_. One that could spit fire to be fair, but still. When he’d brought that up, Mew had delighted in declaring that she’d be happy to inform Ho-oh that Ash thought of him as an oversized pigeon.

Ho-oh swooped up and around, fire enveloping his wings, and launched the attack downwards. That had to be Sacred Fire. Step 1. Avoid Sacred Fire. Pikachu did that without being told; he dived behind a nearby rock for shelter. When the attack hit the ground, and the backblast washed over Ash, he understood _why_ avoiding Sacred Fire was a necessity. That was _hot_ , much hotter than his head had been when Charizard had set it ablaze. Rainbows licked at the edge of the flames before it petered out.

Without waiting for a reply, Ho-oh came around again, blasting out a Flamethrower. Pikachu responded with another Thunderbolt, which hit the Flamethrower midway and detonated it, creating an enormous cloud of smoke.

TT: i can’t see  
DN: And you think the rest of us can?  
[MOD] NM: I Can .  
TT: yeah that’s cause your eyes are closed  
GO: If it were anyone else, that wouldn’t make any sense!

Okay! Fuchsia Gym. Just because you can’t see your foe doesn’t mean your foe can’t see you. Step 2: Regain visibility. Vermilion Gym. Pikachu has a maneuverability advantage. Step 3: Agility. “Pikachu, Agility!” Pikachu began running at speed around to the left-hand side of the ledge, underneath the higher outcroppings. Fuchsia Gym again. It’s not just about what the trainer tells the Pokémon, it’s about what the Pokémon tells the trainer too. Step 4: Listen to Pikachu.

Running, running… he heard Pikachu cry out. “Thunderbolt!”

“Chu!” Another bolt of lightning cracked through the sky, and Ho-oh suddenly shot up out of the smoke cloud. Splash again, but that had worked, at any rate.

The biggest issue Pikachu had was movement. Yes, he was fast, but Ho-oh could _fly_. Cerulean Gym. If the foe has an advantage, remove the advantage. Step 5: Level the playing field. Ho-oh could fly. Yes, removing that ability would be great, but it was too early in the fight for that… so Pikachu needed the extra dimension as well. “Pikachu! Jump up on the rocks! Keep firing Thunderbolts!”

Wait for it, wait for it… flames peppered the rock wall, just short of where Pikachu was moving. Just a little further… “Now! Quick Attack and Iron Tail!”

“PiKA!” Suddenly stopping and turning, Pikachu kicked off the rock he’d been standing on just as a Fire Blast exploded behind him, propelling him into the air and directly towards where Ho-oh was flying. His tail lit up, he moved into a spin, and—

GO: :o  
DD: did he miss?!

—landed with ease back on the main ledge.

A few broken feathers floated down behind him. And as Ho-oh turned for his next attack, one wing dipped slightly lower than it had been before.

OG: WHOO  
OG: FIRST STRIKE  
GO: Go Ash!

Ho-oh cried out, spreading his wings, and suddenly everything got a lot brighter, forcing Ash to shield his eyes. What was… from his pocket, his Pokédex beeped. “ _Sunny Day. This move intensifies sunlight over the battlefield. When used, Fire-type moves become more powerful._ ”

And that meant… Step 1! “Pikachu, watch out!”

Pikachu didn’t need to be told twice, diving for cover again as Ho-oh released a boosted Sacred Fire. That was close! Then, Step 5! If Ho-oh had a move that forced Pikachu to take cover, Pikachu needed to be able to do the same! “Pikachu, Discharge!”

“Chuuuuuu!” Without waiting for the Sacred Fire to disappear, Pikachu released. Electricity went in every direction, forcing Ho-oh away and out of its range, but not before one of the bolts tagged him on one of his talons, causing the great bird to let out an undignified squawk.

TT: i want that bit of the recording  
TT: i want it slowed down  
TT: and played on repeat  
FOT: i’ll handle that for you!

Attacks blazed back and forth. Flamethrower. Thunderbolt. Sacred Fire. Iron Tail. This was… incredible. Ash’s heart was pounding. _This_ was what Pokémon battling was meant to be! Even when Pikachu took some hard landings, he got right back up and into the fray! And Ho-oh wasn’t holding back either! When the Fire moves were dodged, he switched to another one, which the Pokédex identified as Ancient Power, which Pikachu had a harder time avoiding. But the silver energy balls it produced exploded with some force, and that—

Celadon Gym! Take the opportunities you’re given! Step 6: Use the foe’s attacks to your advantage! “Pikachu! Get in close again and use Thunder Wave!”

“KA!” Like he’d done before, Pikachu kicked off the rocks, using one of the Ancient Power explosions to hurl him into the air and— okay, Ash didn’t mean _that_ close!

TT: is  
TT: is pikachu *riding* him  
DN: …Yes. Yes, he is.  
OG: ROFL  
DD: oh such sweet sweet blackmail…

Electricity sparked around the pair of Pokémon. After about ten seconds Ho-oh managed to shake Pikachu off - with enough force that he didn’t quite stick the landing - but the move had had the desired effect, and as he tried to ascend out of range again, the legendary’s left wing seized up. He regained control of it before he crashed into the ground, but he’d lost a decent level of maneuverability.

As expected, this triggered another change in tactics, and Ho-oh used _another_ unfamiliar move, blasting a rainbow-colored beam around the battlefield.

DD: ooh extrasensory!  
SG: Oh, I wondered what that was.

Pikachu’s Agility boost ran out at just the wrong moment. He’d been just about to dodge out of the way when he suddenly slowed down, and took the blast to the chest.

“Pikachu!” Ash ran round so he could see where his partner had landed. “Are you okay?!”

“Ka!” Good. He wasn’t completely fine - the length of the battle was taking its toll, and the rough landing followed by taking the subsequent attack had clearly hurt - but he was willing to keep going.

With another cry, Ho-oh began charging another Sacred Fire. Ash looked around the battlefield for the nearest hiding place… and paled.

Ho-oh had deliberately swept his Extrasensory around and destroyed all of the cover in the middle of the ledge. The only cover now was in the rocks against the cliff, and if Pikachu got stuck in there… No. There wasn’t any choice. “Pikachu! Take cover!”

Step 1. Avoid Sacred Fire.

Pikachu didn’t get to the rocks in time.

Ash clenched his fists as he watched Pikachu rolling around, trying to put the fire out. That was it. The end of the battle was approaching, one way or another. “Pikachu! We need to finish this now!”

“Chu!” Pikachu agreed. It was now or never. Pewter Gym. It’s not over until it’s over. Step 7. Never give up.

Ho-oh’s partial paralysis was forcing him to fly low, and slow. Up until this point, ranged electrical attacks hadn’t seemed to do much, but maybe now… “Use Thunderbolt!” Blood roared in his ears. “Give it everything you’ve got!”

“Pi… ka…”

OG: Come on Ash  
OG: Bring it home  
DD: pikachu’s still on fire!  
DN: He’s…  
DN: Why isn’t Pikachu giving up?  
[MOD] CW: you dont (understand)  
[MOD] CW: he wont (allow) himself to give up  
DN: Why, though?!  
[MOD] CW: maybe you’ll (learn) someday

“ _Chuuuuuuuuuu!_ ” One last-ditch effort. One final Thunderbolt. The last of his reserves. The bolt flew straight and true, and struck Ho-oh at the base of his left wing, the one which had gone earlier. The one which now gave up completely, sending him crashing into the ground.

Ho-oh struggled back upright and made to take off.

He couldn’t. Grounded.

OG: OMG  
DD: he’s actually  
DD: holy shit  
DN: …  
SG: At this point… are we really surprised?  
[ADMIN] DW: I don’t think anyone’s surprised.  
[ADMIN] DW: I think, on the whole, this was the only outcome the world would accept.

Pikachu darted forward, and Ho-oh unleashed a defensive Flamethrower, but the mouse managed to dart left around it, and followed up by Tackling the legendary right in the face. The ‘clonk’ of colliding skulls was _audible_. Ouch. Pikachu staggered back, wincing, clutching at his head, but kept his stance and did his best to look menacing regardless. He wasn’t giving up. That was it. Now all that was left would be to take the next attack—

An attack that never came.

 _Enough!_ The word suddenly popped into Ash’s head, in an unrecognizable voice, and he flinched, before glancing back at the others to confirm that yes, they’d heard it too. _I yield!_

I— his attention snapped back onto Ho-oh. The phoenix was staring right at him, breathing heavily, and for the first time he actually seemed to notice the damage Pikachu had done. Sparks could still be seen zigzagging across Ho-oh’s wings. He… he yielded. That meant he forfeited. That meant…

“I… I won?” A smile broke out across his face. He’d won a battle against a _legendary_. “We won! Pikachu, we won!”

DD: YES!!!!!!  
OG: WHOO  
DN: He actually did it.  
TT: yesssss  
TT: he’s never gonna live this down  
GO: Fantastic!  
GO: Absolutely fantastic!  
FOT: this is my second time watching the battle.  
FOT: i watched the vod shortly after i first met ash in the future.  
FOT: it’s even more amazing in real time!  
DN: I can’t believe he actually won.  
[MOD] NM: Were You Not Witness To His Declarations Before He Began ?  
DN: Well, yes, but…  
DN: He’s been going for less than a year. I didn’t expect…  
[MOD] CW: and that is your (problem)  
[MOD] CW: you dont (believe)

“Chaaa,” Pikachu agreed weakly, finally having put the Sacred Fire burn out. The battle had taken its toll on him, too. He could barely stand up straight. When this was over they pretty quickly needed to get down the mountain to find a Pokémon Center.

Right… when this was over. Of its own accord, his hand went to the empty Pokéball on his belt. Was… was it really alright? For him to do this? He couldn’t look away from the bird’s eyes. It felt like Ho-oh was staring _into_ him.

_Do as you must. You are the victor._

doctorWhom [DW] muted all non-administrators.

Ash unhooked the ball, and lifted it up, breaking eye contact again to stare at it. The power of Ho-oh… It was his dream to master Pokémon, and that included the legendaries. When he’d mentioned this to them, he’d been a little worried what their reaction might be. But in those months before his journey began, all that time spent in the Kanto memo with Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres and Mew, they’d been nothing but encouraging. If he wanted to catch them, then he should catch them. It was as simple as that. Now that he was faced with that prospect becoming a reality…

His gaze went down to his feet, to where Pikachu had just struggled back to him. He’d won, but it hadn’t been easy. Pikachu was on the verge of collapse. It reminded him again of the first day, the Spearow, the first appearance of Ho-oh (even if it was after bodyslamming Zekrom into the ground). Pikachu had given everything for him. And what did Ash do? He picked Pikachu up and he marched into Viridian City to get him healed. He didn’t give up. He stuck with Pikachu, and Pikachu stuck with him, and it all paid off. The same went for his other Pokémon. Caterpie, who’d gone from a tiny creature scared of the world to a Butterfree who was quite easily his second-most powerful Pokémon, after Pikachu. Charmander, from a rock in the rain to the mighty Charizard who stood behind him now. He stuck with them, and they stuck with him. Ho-oh was certainly more powerful than all of them, but…

So that was it.

Ash looked up at Ho-oh again, smiled his biggest smile, and very deliberately dropped the ball on the floor.

The sound of everybody else’s jaws hitting the floor behind him was very audible, but he didn’t care. Bending down, he picked Pikachu up off the ground instead and supported his partner in his arms. “Thanks for the battle, Ho-oh!” he shouted, adjusting his grip to free up a hand so he could pump a fist in the air. “Next time it won’t be so easy for you!”

doctorWhom [DW] unmuted all users.  
DD: WHAT  
GO: WHAT  
TT: WHAT  
[MOD] GW: HaHah!  
SG: …  
DN: WHAT  
OG: WHAT  
[MOD] NM: WHAT  
FOT: :D  
[MOD] CW: so this is the (will of the chosen)  
[MOD] CW: its  
[MOD] CW: (amazing)

  


SW: -|===> WHAT  
WS: <} WHAT  
TN: he just  
TN: whaaaaat?!  
GS: UGH.  
TB: ~~~For once, Groudon, I agree with you  
[MOD] SC: Wonders will never cease.  
NT: Well.  
NT: I believe somebody owes me lunch for the next month.  
TN: fuck.

  


[MOD] SB:  
WC: he won and lost at the same time  
WC: im having an identity crisis  
octetMelody [OM] responded to [Designated Shitting Street].  
OM: Oh~  
OM: I fell asleep for some reason~  
OM: Did I miss it~  
OM: What happened~  
ST: He won.  
ST: And decided not to catch Ho-oh.  
SG: Do you see now, Cobalion?  
SG: Now do you understand why I believe Keldeo could learn a lot from watching Ash’s battles?  
CM: JUST AS I SAID HE WOULD.  
CM: THAT IS WHAT A HERO OF IDEALS LOOKS LIKE.  
CM: AND YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.  
[MOD] MC: I WOULDN’T DREAM OF IT, BROTHER.  
[MOD] MC: IT WOULD BE FOLLY TO DENY THE TRUTH.

  


US: WHAT  
MU: WHAT  
SU: What?!  
UM: Hmmm  
UN: interesting.  
UN: *very* interesting.  
NB: Y don’t lyke that tone, Dyancye.  
US: no  
US: this ruins all my puns  
US: i was so ready to say well be seein the phoenix risin from ash  
[MOD] MS: *amused chuckle*  
[MOD] MS: I believe that is what we call a plot twist.

  


TO: He was Chosen for a reason.  
TO: We may not see that reason today, or for many days to come, but we know now.  
TO: To be given the chance to use our power at a whim, and to intentionally cast it aside…  
TO: Nobody is more worthy of the title.

Ho-oh was silent for a long time. Then— _SO BE IT!_ In a wreath of flame, he suddenly took off, looking for all the world like he was perfectly healthy again. That must have been Recover. He wasn’t 100% - Ash had seen Pidgeotto hurt enough times to be able tell that his flapping was a little awkward - but it didn’t matter. _Your choice is made!_

“What are you doing?!” cried Cross, not angry, just… confused. “Why aren’t you catching it?!”

 _Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town._ Ho-oh stopped flapping, almost hovering in the sunlight, his feathers scattering little rainbows from each one. He was still, uh, ‘talking’ in their heads, so… did he want the others to hear this as well? And… was that pride Ash could hear? _You were chosen to bear my Wing because your heart showed promise._ No, Ash was pretty sure it had been an accident. _What you have shown me today only affirms that promise. You will go on to do great things, and you will find who it is you seek._

* * *

[Meanwhile, on the rocks below the ledge…]

RAIKOU: dad cmon  
RAIKOU: youre embarrassing yourself  
MEW: shut up raikou.  
ENTEI: Shut up Raikou  
SUICUNE: Shut up, Raikou.

* * *

_HEAR ME, AND KNOW THIS!_ Ho-oh’s voice suddenly seemed to roll around the mountains, even though it was still just in their heads. _There have been many Rainbow Heroes before you, and there will be more to come! But you, Ash Ketchum, will always be_ MY _hero!_ Then, with a wordless shriek, the phoenix span around in a single wingbeat, and rocketed off into the distance, leaving them alone on the ridge in silence.

“Ash, you…” Misty couldn’t find the words. None of them could. They just stared.

Ash closed his eyes, and took some deep breaths. Now, more than ever, he was convinced of it: that choice was the only correct answer. It wasn’t possible for his grin to grow wider, but he tried it anyway as he turned and walked back towards the others. “Come on, guys! We need to get Pikachu to a Pokémon Center!” It wasn’t as desperate as that first time. There wouldn’t be any rushing his partner into intensive care. But he still needed more than they could give, with their combined medical skills (and equipment, considering that shortly after leaving Mossgreen Misty had found Psyduck in Sorrel’s bag drinking all the potions), and for that reason, it was time to leave.

Ho-oh’s hero. He liked the sound of that.

 _I had a choice,_ he thought, as he passed the others, and they paused to look at each other before catching up. _And I choose you, Pikachu._

theOne [TO] locked [Emergency Meeting].

  


twiceMulticolored [TM] began pestering beastieBirb [BB].

TM: Were you watching?  
BB: …  
BB: I…  
BB: I bailed…  
BB: How did he…  
BB: How did he do?  
TM: He won.  
BB: He did?  
TM: He requested that I not hold back, and I obliged.  
TM: It was the best battle I’ve ever had in my lives.  
TM: We gave each other everything, and he emerged the victor.  
TM: I’ll tell you this: I’ve used Recover *three* times and my head *still* hurts.  
BB: …  
BB: So…  
BB: I guess Ash will be seeing a lot more of you now then.  
TM: He opted not to catch me.  
BB: He what?!  
TM: He was…  
TM: Amazing.  
TM: Rainbow Heroes have always asked me for boons.  
TM: Better harvests, good luck for the future, hope.  
TM: One or two asked me for battles.  
TM: Ash was the only one who’s ever bested me… and he asked *nothing* else of me in return.  
TM: He is absolutely worthy of our power should he ever require it.  
BB: …  
BB: I don’t know why I expected anything different.  
BB: Ash has… a good heart.  
TM: Yes.  
TM: He gets that from his father.  
BB: …  
TM: You know, this reminds me of something somebody once said:  
TM: There is a sea under a black night dotted with stars.  
TM: Every one of those stars is a soul, helping to light our way.  
BB: …When we are lost, they guide us back to where we need to be.  
TM: Hidden beneath the waves are rocks, that may dash our craft if we stray too far.  
TM: But sometimes, sometimes, there shines a soul so bright…  
BB: …that is our lighthouse.  
BB: Never thought I’d hear my own poetic phrase being parroted back at me.  
TM: I’m a phoenix, not a parrot.  
TM: ;)  
BB: …what are you doing?  
TM: Emoting.  
TM: That is what that’s called, yes?  
BB: How hard did you get hit on the head again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter of the movie to go! It should tie off at least some of the loose ends, so don’t panic if a question you had isn’t answered here.
> 
> The Ho-oh battle was pretty much the last thing I wrote in this segment, with Ash pulling together everything he’s learned from the previous gyms, except Amaranth (it’s about not underestimating your opponent, and he’s definitely not doing that) and Saffron (since he didn’t really learn anything). I hope it's epic enough for the occasion! Pikachu learning Iron Tail early in the Kangaskhan episode happened because of this movie; he used it against Marshadow earlier, and I’m not passing up the opportunity to use it again. This does mean he’s pretty overpowered now. Really all this means is I’m going to have to ramp up the opponent difficulty for Pikachu from here on.
> 
> As for the other thing… I’ll let Ash explain why he didn’t catch Ho-oh in the next chapter in his own words, but from a meta perspective, it’s the same reason Sir Aaron’s Lucario didn’t immediately join the team. It would be an overpowered Pokémon too early. This is Ash as a budding trainer, and he needs to learn the lessons from having weaker Pokémon. I hesitate to point to Tobias of the Sinnoh League (the guy who blasted his way through everything with a Darkrai), but that’s the easiest comparison to make. (And no, I haven’t decided on how to handle Tobias yet. We’re a very long way from Sinnoh here! Basically, anything beyond Johto at this point is loose ideas *only*.)
> 
> That, and Lucario would almost immediately get dropped into the role of 'the translator who short-circuits most of the plot'.


	64. Episode 60 (Friends to the End)

CROSS: Okay, spill  
CROSS: Why didn’t you catch Ho-oh  
ASH: …  
ASH: i… i’m not ready.  
SORREL: What?  
ASH: yeah, i beat ho-oh, but only just.  
ASH: look at pikachu.  
ASH: he’s completely exhausted.  
PIKACHU: I’d…  
PIKACHU: I’d better be getting… some of Brock’s homemade food later.  
CROSS: But  
CROSS: With Ho-oh  
CROSS: You wouldn’t have to worry about that again  
ASH: exactly!  
CROSS: What  
ASH: i don’t want to be a trainer who wins everything just because i caught a legendary!  
ASH: that’s not what being a pokémon master is!  
MISTY: what *is* being a Pokémon Master then?!  
ASH: …  
ASH: ‘that’s ash ketchum. he won the league because he had ho-oh.’  
ASH: sure i want to win the league!  
ASH: but not like that.  
ASH: ‘that’s ash ketchum. he won the league because his pokémon worked hard.’  
SORREL: …  
SORREL: …So you want your whole team to be strong enough that having a legendary doesn’t make it special.  
ASH: exactly!  
ASH: pokémon master means *all* pokémon.  
ASH: not just legendaries.  
CROSS: …  
ASH: so that’s why i didn’t catch ho-oh.  
ASH: i’ll do it when i don’t need to.  
PIKACHU: Ash… you're weird.  
PIKACHU: Never change.  
CROSS: …  
CROSS: I’m not gonna pretend I understand  
VERITY: maybe you need to start over  
VERITY: do the gym challenge  
CROSS: …  
CROSS: Maybe  
BROCK: Ash, I noticed you haven’t had your phone out at all.  
BROCK: I would have thought you’d be telling your friends all about this.  
ASH: ah.  
ASH: no, i told them what i was doing, and one of the admins locked my account or something so they couldn’t disturb me.  
BROCK: Makes sense.  
ASH: i should probably let them know i’m done…

  


TO: Okay.  
TO: Do it now.  
WW: OK  
WW: #ACCRESET 60  
SYSTEM: Account No. 60 reset.  
SYSTEM: Searching for user…  
SYSTEM: Located user. Awaiting authentication…  
SYSTEM: User authenticated.  
SYSTEM: Account No. 60 (boltfromTheblue) successfully reconnected.  
WW: #ACCRESET 61  
SYSTEM: Account No. 61 reset.  
SYSTEM: Searching for user…  
SYSTEM: Located user. Awaiting authentication…  
SYSTEM: User authenticated.  
SYSTEM: Account No. 61 (blazingGlory) successfully reconnected.  
WW: #ACCRESET 62  
SYSTEM: Account No. 62 reset.  
SYSTEM: Searching for user…  
SYSTEM: Located user. Awaiting authentication…  
SYSTEM: User authenticated.  
SYSTEM: Account No. 62 (crystallineSlush) successfully reconnected.  
WW: #ACCRESET 44  
SYSTEM: Account No. 44 reset.  
SYSTEM: Searching for user…  
SYSTEM: Located user. Awaiting authentication…  
SYSTEM: User authenticated.  
SYSTEM: Account No. 44 (sevenStar) successfully reconnected.  
WW: OK THAT WORKED  
TO: Good.  
TO: Any idea how the system was overridden like that?  
WW: NO  
WW: BEST GUESS IS THE THRONE AMPLIFIED THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS  
WW: IT OVERPOWERED MARSHADOW  
WW: AND THEN SPREAD THROUGH HIM TO THE OTHERS  
TO: I see we’ll have to look at this further.  
TO: Thank you, Giratina.  
TO: @doctorWhom It should now be safe to remove Ash’s Do Not Disturb.

  


decibelDrama [DD] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].  
offensiveGlaceon [OG] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].  
grassrootsOptimism [GO] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].  
crystallineSlush [CS] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].  
dantesNferno [DN] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].  
scimitarGamma [SG] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].  
winCondition [WC] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].  
sleuthWolf [SW] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

  


ASH: GAH  
MISTY: i think they unlocked it.  
VERITY: you think  
ASH: i should probably mute this…  
ASH: …  
ASH: …  
ASH: …  
BROCK: Ash?  
ASH: …  
ASH: oh right!  
ASH: misty, take pikachu!  
MISTY: oof!  
CROSS: What are you doing  
ASH: i…  
ASH: i forgot something!  
ASH: i’ll be right back!

It was only mid-afternoon, but this late in the year, the sun was already setting. The ledge on which the Storms End Throne sat was silent now, bathed in orange sunlight. All of the shining rainbow colors were gone, but it was still a stunning view. Ash paused as the ledge opened out to catch his breath, then slowed down, walking over to the one thing that was out of place - the empty Pokéball he’d dropped earlier, still sitting where it had fallen.

He didn’t _need_ it, really. But it was a good excuse as any to come back.

Ash bent down and picked it up, minimizing it and putting it back on his belt, then looked around. “Marshadow? Are you still here?”

Silence.

“Marshadow? I just want to—” a slight movement in a shadow against the Throne caught his attention, and Ash jogged over towards it. There the mythical was, sat down in a nook on the sunward side, staring at nothing. He started as the human approached, then looked away and began sinking down, out of sight. “Wait!”

Marshadow paused, and looked up at him. There was no expression, at least not a readable one. In Ash’s jacket pocket, though, his phone buzzed.

sevenStar [SS] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

SS: what  
SS: what do you want

“What I want? I—”

SS: go ahead  
SS: shout

“Wh— why would I—”

Marshadow stared at him.

SS: because i killed you

Ash stared back, over the top of his phone. That was what… No! “Marshadow, I saw what happened! That wasn’t your fault!”

SS: what  
SS: of course it was my fault  
SS: i dont know how you came back to life  
SS: but i know mew didnt block everything  
SS: i saw you die  
SS: and i gave the order to do it  
SS: just leave me alone

No. Ash’s free hand balled into a fist. “Shut up! You know that’s not true! Okay, I guess I don’t know exactly _what_ happened, but I know you’d never do a thing like that!”

SS: you dont know me

With no further remark, Marshadow turned away and finished disappearing into the shadow, leaving no trace of his presence. Ash stood there in silence for a moment. What could he say to that? Could he even say anything? He didn’t even know if Marshadow was still there, or if he’d left completely.

Wait, he could still talk to him though.

UT: …  
UT: no.  
UT: i don’t know you very well.  
UT: but i’d like to.  
SS: what  
UT: i don’t believe you’d ever want to kill someone like that.  
UT: if you do…  
UT: you’re wrong.  
UT: that’s not who you are.  
UT: you’re my friend.  
SS: your  
SS: friend  
UT: yeah!  
UT: we’ve been travelling together for months!  
UT: there’s no way we couldn’t be friends after that!  
SS: even  
SS: after i  
UT: stop.  
UT: you didn’t kill me. that’s a fact.  
UT: marshadow, you’re my friend, and it’s going to take a lot more than that to persuade me otherwise.

Another pause, and slowly, the top of Marshadow’s head began appearing again, stopping only when his eyes were visible.

SS: who  
SS: who are you

Ash grinned. “I’m Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town. I’m going to be the world’s greatest Pokémon Master.”

SS: not what i  
SS: nevermind

“So what are you going to do now?”

SS: go back to alola  
SS: think about things

“Isn’t it a long way from here to Alola?”

SS: yeah  
SS: itll take a while

Ash looked around. Though the sun was setting, it was still high enough to produce long shadows. Yeah, that could work. “I’m not going all the way to Alola, but…” he held out an arm, its shadow reaching all the way to meet the one in the nook Marshadow was sitting in. “I can give you a lift as far as the coast.”

SS: …  
SS: why

“I’m the whole reason you’re here. The least I can do is help you get home.”

Marshadow made no further response, but shifted over into the shadow made by Ash’s arm before sinking away again, and this time, Ash knew he was still there, somehow. Though he now stood alone on the ledge, he wasn’t _truly_ alone. He had a friend with him. A somewhat unconventional friend, but a friend nonetheless.

Suddenly he remembered that the others were still walking, and he’d spent much longer up here than he’d intended to, and, panicked, began running for the path down the mountain again.

twiceMulticolored [TM] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

TM: I meant what I said.  
TM: Months ago, near the beginning, I was embarrassed when I admitted you were my hero.  
TM: That wasn’t meant as an insult against you, I was just embarrassed with myself for phrasing it as such.  
TM: But what you showed today was nothing short of fantastic.  
TM: You *are* my hero, Ash, in every sense of the word.  
TM: You’ll find that my Wing has reappeared in your pocket. Take it with you; you have more than earned it.  
TM: It is a memento of our bond.  
TM: Should you ever wish for a rematch…  
TM: Well, all you need to do is ask.  
TM: If you ask nicely, I may even be persuaded to use Recover as well.

twiceMulticolored [TM] stopped pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

  


theOne [TO] began pestering beastieBirb [BB].

TO: Lugia, you may read - see, hear - that there was an unexpected and unfortunate situation that unfolded prior to Ash’s battle with Ho-oh.  
TO: I won’t tell you not to worry, that is your right.  
TO: But please, don’t worry yourself sick.  
TO: Ash may be only young, but his strength surprises all of us.  
TO: …  
TO: After that night on the mountain, when Ash was freezing, you asked me if I could guarantee Ash’s safety. I said I’d do what I could.  
TO: At this point, I think we just have to accept that no matter what measures we put in place, Ash will find *some* way to subvert them.  
TO: It’s in his nature.  
TO: …  
TO: I don’t know if Ho-oh told you, but he did everything he could to try and stop Sir Aaron from participating in that war.  
TO: In the end, Aaron did so anyway, behind our backs, and by the time we noticed it was too late to do anything about it.  
TO: When you’re available, message me back and we’ll discuss it.

theOne [TO] stopped pestering beastieBirb [BB].

  


decibelDrama [DD] began pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].

DD: so uh  
DD: took you long enough  
TM: What?  
TM: I waited for the signal, as I have always done.  
TM: Was something wrong?  
DD: was something wrong?!  
DD: the feather turned black, marshadow turned evil, and ash nearly died *again*!  
DD: didn’t you see the evil beams and the black clouds?!  
TM: …No.  
TM: On the mountain where I was waiting, there was nothing but blue sky for miles around.  
DD: wait, really?  
TM: Honestly.  
TM: …  
TM: I noticed that some of the terrain around the Throne had been damaged, but it had been such a long time since my last visit I thought it had occurred months ago.  
TM: I think perhaps you’d better explain from the beginning.

  


TO: Well?  
DW: My future self clamped the event down.  
DW: If you weren’t in the immediate vicinity, all you could see was the mountain on the day before.  
WD: I knew it was your fault.  
DW: Here’s the thing, though.  
DW: It’s not ‘future me’ as in shortly.  
DW: It’s the ‘me’ two and a half years from now.  
TO: Two and a half years?  
DW: Which would place it about the time that Celebi becomes entangled with Ash, yes.  
WD: And basically means you’re now going to forget about it and then suddenly remember in the future and come back and do it.  
WD: Still your fault.  
TO: Hmmm.  
TO: What about the anomalies you were forced to take care of?  
TO: Have you sourced those?  
DW: …  
DW: Maybe.  
DW: I’m uncomfortable with the implications, though, so I’m going to do some more research first.  
DW: I’ll message you with the results later.  
TO: Very well.

Ash jogged around the last outcrop onto the pathway, stopped, and facepalmed. “Really?!”

Team Rocket looked around guiltily. Between the three of them was a squirming Pikachu in a cage, and beyond them was everybody else, trapped under a net, so tightly bound together that none of them could even wiggle without hurting one of the others. It would be funny if it weren’t, well, these guys. And if they weren’t doing it _all the time._

After a moment of silent staring, Jessie started shouting at James. “I told you to make sure they were all together before hitting them with the net!”

“Me?! Meowth pushed the button!”

“Now you’re gonna blame dis on me?!”

Then in a flash they were back in gear, pointing at him accusingly. “You’d better not try anything, Twerp!” Jessie said. “We’ve finally got Pikachu, and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

“Yeah!”

“An’ if you even tink about calling out one of yer other Pokémon, we can deal wid all of them!” Meowth patted the complicated looking box covered in buttons that was sat on the grass beside him.

“It’s ingenious!”

“It’s foolproof!”

“It’s perfect!”

‘It’ had several childishly drawn images of Pokémon on the front. Pidgeotto, Squirtle, Kangaskhan, Butterfree… Charmeleon. Whoops. Of course, they hadn’t been on the mountain. They didn’t know that Charmeleon had… Ash shrugged. “Okay, sure.” His hand went to his belt. “Go, Char—”

“We said don’t try anything!” Meowth hit one of the buttons on the box, which sprang open propelling three identical items into the Rockets’ waiting hands.

Water guns, really? “—izard!”

All three of the Rockets looked up. James belatedly pulled the trigger on his water gun, which didn’t even get halfway, and sadly spread a damp patch on the grass.

Charizard snorted. Meowth looked mortified. “Now, now, dere’s no need for dat kind of language—”

“Charizard, Flamethrower!”

‘It’ also turned out to be combustible. The cage Pikachu was in was heavy enough to stay put. The Rockets… weren’t.

“We tried to sneak in at the end!”

“But instead _we_ got snuck up on!”

“I told you we should’a splashed out on da water cannon!”

“Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again…!”

_Ding._

CS: It’s strange.  
CS: I have next to no memory of it whatsoever.  
[MOD] NM: Would You Like Me To Have A Look ?  
CS: Thanks, but… I think I’m okay.  
BG: Same  
DD: i think  
DD: when it realized it couldn’t use them, it just let them go.  
DD: whatever it was.  
TD: It sounds like something I should’ve been present for.  
TD: Unfortunately…  
GO: Yeah, I know.  
GO: We can’t drop everything just to watch Ash.  
GO: I’m just happy I got to see the battle!  
theOne [TO] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave theOne [TO] the ‘administrator’ role.  
DD: …  
DD: look grandad if you’re gonna give me shit about what i did i don’t wanna hear it.  
[ADMIN] TO: …  
[ADMIN] TO: What you did was reckless, Mew. You should know better than that.  
DD: then where the hell were you?!  
DD: if you don’t want me to do anything like that, then how about you interrupt before i get a chance to do it!  
TT: yeah  
TT: you tell him  
DD: ash nearly died, again!  
DD: what was i *supposed* to do?!  
DD: just stand back and watch?!  
GO: I mean, fair’s fair, Arceus. She did save Ash’s life.  
OG: Yeah  
OG: If you’re gonna be harsh then  
OG: You need to yell at the beasts too  
CS: …  
CS: It feels like I should be angry with that but I’m not.  
CS: My brothers and I were very much part of that.  
CS: If you’re going to punish Mew for that, then we should share in the punishment.  
BG: What  
BG: I didn’t agree to this  
DD: i stand by what i did.  
DD: i’d do it again if i had to.  
DD: with or without your approval.  
DD: so suck it.  
[ADMIN] TO: …  
[ADMIN] TO: …are you quite finished?  
DD: …yeah.  
[ADMIN] TO: Ahem.  
[ADMIN] TO: Just as Shaymin said a minute ago, we can’t always drop everything just to see what Ash is doing.  
[ADMIN] TO: As it happened, the minutes in which you were attempting to get our help were punctuated with several incidents only we could deal with, and required our full attention.  
[ADMIN] TO: We can’t always help if Ash gets into more trouble than he can get out of by himself.  
[ADMIN] TO: !automod decibelDrama  
[BOT] PB: Automatic moderator role assigned.  
poryBot [PB] gave decibelDrama [DD] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[ADMIN] TO: In the future, try not to let Ash get into that sort of situation in the first place, hm?  
GO: :o  
TT: :o  
[MOD] DD: …  
[MOD] DD: yes sir arceus sir! :3  
BT: if this is the punishment  
BT: does this mean were gettin modded too  
[ADMIN] TO: No.  
BT: shit

  


VERITY: …  
VERITY: do you think well ever see cross again  
BROCK: If we do, hopefully he’ll have a brand new attitude.  
SORREL: Well, he tried to apologize to Charizard, so…  
ASH: i’m not sure if charizard setting his hair on fire counted as accepting it though.  
PIKACHU: Eh…  
PIKACHU: You’re better off not knowing the exact words he used.  
BROCK: And if he decides to do the gym challenge…  
BROCK: Well, we’ll have to wait, I suppose.  
ASH: if he does do the gym challenge, what are the chances of seeing him in the league?  
BROCK: If he rushes around to all of the gyms, maybe.  
BROCK: But he hasn’t got long left to register for the next tournament.  
ASH: uh.  
ASH: i don’t remember doing any kind of registration…  
MISTY: it happens when you get your first badge.  
MISTY: it gets put on your trainer card.  
MISTY: which is your Pokédex, I guess.  
BROCK: Yes, I filled out the paperwork before leaving.  
ASH: oh, ok.  
ASH: phew!  
BROCK: One thing that I won’t miss about the gym.  
BROCK: Paperwork.  
MISTY: yeah.  
VERITY: …  
VERITY: i think  
VERITY: im going to head on back home.  
VERITY: see my mom  
VERITY: maybe become a proper trainer  
PIPLUP: :o  
ASH: verity, you’re a proper trainer already!  
VERITY: thanks ash!  
VERITY: but i wasnt taking it very seriously  
VERITY: i guess i want to start from the beginning  
VERITY: maybe i can get as good as mom and aunt cynthia  
ASH: ha, you go for it!  
PIPLUP: yes! yes!  
PIPLUP: i know you can do it, verity!  
BROCK: It looks like Piplup approves of that plan.  
SORREL: …  
SORREL: Ash, do you mind if I stay with you for a bit longer?  
ASH: mind?  
ASH: of course i don’t mind, sorrel!  
ASH: what’s up?  
SORREL: As we were on our way down to Reseda Town, I found a bit of interesting information.  
LUCARIO: …found?  
LUCARIO: Wasn’t it posted to the Pokémon Center we stayed at one night?  
SORREL: Apparently, Articuno was recently sighted near the Seafoam Islands.  
ASH: he was?  
BROCK: The Seafoam Islands…  
BROCK: Ah, I see. That’s on the way to Cinnabar Island.  
ASH: oh, where the next gym is!  
ASH: yeah, that makes sense!  
MISTY: like I said this morning, hang around Ash and it’s sure to turn up eventually.  
ASH: hey!  
MISTY: …  
MISTY: hey, wait a minute.  
MISTY: didn’t you say this morning that you wanted to catch Articuno?  
MISTY: but… you *just* battled ho-oh!  
MISTY: and refused to catch it!  
ASH: him  
VERITY: him  
MISTY: him, whatever!  
ASH: i know!  
ASH: that doesn’t mean i have to catch articuno as soon as i see him.  
SORREL: Not forgetting that there’s no guarantee we’ll actually see Articuno it— himself.  
ASH: what about you guys?  
BROCK: Someone needs to make sure you look after your Pokémon.  
ASH: i look after my pokémon!  
PIKACHU: Ash, I’ve had your cooking.  
PIKACHU: I wanted my money back.  
MISTY: and you’d better not forget that you still owe me a bike, Ash!  
ASH: oh brother.  
MISTY: I’m not leaving you alone until I get it replaced!  
VERITY: maybe ash shouldve asked hooh for a bike  
ASH: haha!  
BROCK: Heh.  
PIKACHU: Pfft!  
PIPLUP: pfft!  
LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: Okay, that was funny.  
ASH: so… i guess this is goodbye, verity.  
VERITY: yeah  
VERITY: well  
VERITY: its not like we wont be able to talk to each other anymore  
ASH: oh yeah!  
MISTY: did you *already* forget about that?!  
ASH: maybe?  
ASH: anyway, we’ll have to meet up again in the future, and we can show each other what we’ve learned!  
VERITY: yeah!  
VERITY: and ill beat you in a battle!  
ASH: we’ll see about that!

It wasn’t goodbye, not truly. They could speak using the chat whenever they wanted to, and they’d see each other again someday. That was a promise. And Ash Ketchum kept his promises. Even if they ended up on opposite sides of this fantastic world of Pokémon, they’d see each other again, because that was what friends did.

TO: I see.  
TO: Thank you, Ash.  
TO: He may not say it, but I’m sure Marshadow appreciates it as well.  
TO: There are few words in any language as terrifying as ‘I forgive you’.  
UT: yeah.  
TO: …  
TO: There is something I feel I have to ask.  
TO: I am prepared, if it is your choice, to ask Uxie to remove your memory of your death.  
TO: You would believe that Mew saved you, as everybody else currently does.  
TO: I can’t imagine that it was painless.  
UT: um, actually…  
UT: i don’t remember *being* hit?  
UT: i remember seeing mew fly in, but then everything just went grey.  
UT: and it stayed like that until darkrai showed up.  
TO: Hmmm.  
UT: but i don’t want to forget anyway.  
UT: i need to know that i did everything i could.  
TO: If you’re sure.  
UT: …  
UT: arceus, just before it… happened…  
UT: pikachu said something to me.  
UT: i asked him why he wouldn’t get in his pokéball.  
UT: he said…  
UT: he said it’s because he always wants to be with me.  
TO: …  
UT: arceus, i understood him.  
UT: did i dream that, or…  
TO: …  
TO: Our brains are fascinating things, capable of unimaginable feats when put under extreme stress.  
TO: If you want to believe that you dreamt it, do so.  
TO: That is a perfectly plausible way to explain it.  
TO: But I believe that, in that moment, you were not communicating as you normally would.  
TO: You were listening to Pikachu’s aura.  
TO: Aura has no language. It is simply life-force.  
TO: Sir Aaron’s Lucario learned to speak aura in such a way that he is able to communicate effectively with humans.  
TO: There is no reason to suggest why it could not work in reverse.  
UT: you mean… i could talk to my pokémon all the time?  
TO: I’m only speculating. I wouldn’t know where to begin.  
UT: you don’t know?  
UT: but… you’re arceus!  
TO: Oh, you noticed?  
TO: I imagine that if I knew everything, I’d be an incredible bore.  
TO: Even I have things I am yet to learn.  
TO: And the prospect of doing so is what keeps me facing each day with a smile.  
TO: We’re still looking in to how it was possible for you to make an account on our system in the first place.  
UT: isn’t the answer always time travel?  
TO: Do you know, we only considered that recently?  
TO: For the moment, though, Dialga has ruled out time travel.  
TO: It is a mystery that, for now, remains unsolved.  
TO: I should let you get some sleep. We’ve distracted you enough from the gym challenge as it is.  
UT: thanks, arceus!  
UT: i really mean it.  
UT: thanks for… well, everything.  
TO: You’re most welcome, Ash Ketchum.  
TO: Try not to make a habit of dying on us.

From now on, Ash would be concentrating on the League challenge. He had one more gym to go before he reached the minimum of eight badges required to enter the tournament, and from there… well, he’d see where things took him. He had his friends by his side, and all those others just a few keypresses away. He walked away from his fateful encounter with a legendary Pokémon with a spring in his step and a smile on his face. This adventure had come to a close… but another one waited just beyond the horizon, and he couldn’t wait for it.

beastieBirb [BB] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

BB: Ash, I  
BB:  
BB: I know you’re asleep at the moment. I just  
BB:  
BB: Congratulations.

beastieBirb [BB] stopped pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

* * *

“Doctor Fuji! Doctor Fuji!” The man in the labcoat nearly fell over as he arrested his movement in the doorway to the office. “Doctor Fuji!”

“I heard you the first time, Ishida.” Doctor Fuji turned around in his chair and pushed his glasses up his nose. “What is it?”

“We started getting some strange readings a few hours ago, and we just got the results back.” Ishida exhaled. “It’s dreaming.”

A smile spread across Fuji’s face, and he stood up. “You’re certain?”

“Absolutely. We double- and triple-checked.”

“At long last…” Fuji maintained a sense of professionalism as he followed Ishida back out of the room, but inside, he was exhilarated. Years of work had finally paid off, and now, they would see the fruits of their labor. “We have succeeded. Mewtwo lives.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MOVIE. OVER. I had fun, and from the sounds of the comments, you guys did too! Thank you for all your support. Now let’s see if we can make it to the next movie!
> 
> I’ve done my best to wrap things up, tie off the loose ends. Arceus is a Very Responsible Creator, and thus Mew has her moderatorship back. I hope Ash's own reason for not catching Ho-oh sounds suitably Ash; he's also been relentlessly friendly with Marshadow, who isn’t getting out of the story that easily. Cross is going off to do… something. Verity’s going home to Sinnoh. Sorrel’s still in the party, though. My original draft had him leave here as well, but then he would just turn up again for an Articuno episode at the Seafoam Islands. They’re going the same way, so they might as well stick together. Besides, Sorrel’s still got a bit of backstory needs explaining.
> 
> Speaking of, remember that episode guide from the last hiatus? It’s… going to be a little bit less accurate from here. It would be very neat to round out the series in exactly 100 episodes, but that was set without the legendaries in mind, or Sorrel, so a few more episodes are going to sneak in here and there.
> 
> As previously mentioned, we’re now going into another posting hiatus. The third section is already underway. I’ve got a little bit less than I had when I started the previous hiatus, so whether or not it’s only going to be a week again, we’ll have to see. I don’t like making promises for things like this. But I will promise that it won’t be longer than two weeks. Section three is going to take us all the way up to Mewtwo, or should, anyway, then section four will take us into the league itself. (Added note Jan 18th - I'm taking the extra week, I didn't get as much written as I wanted to, plus when section three does start being posted it'll start off slow due to work commitments. I'll explain a little bit more when I post the recap.)
> 
> When the story does come back, it won’t be straight back with Episode 61; I’ve written a short character-by-character recap, just to make sure things are on the page that should be. I’ll also revamp the tags a bit. Consider this the mid-season break, like the actual anime just had over the New Year.
> 
> I’m going to be honest here: normally what tends to happen with my stories is I get the idea, I write them, and then they sit on my computer never being published because I’m not happy with them. My brain organizes things in a very complicated way and I’m afraid that I’ve written in such a way that it’s incomprehensible unless the reader is, well, me. When I started this story, which at the time was a sort of parody of a Homestuck crossover that’s already up here on AO3, I thought it was just going to end the same. This story is still using the Homestuck Pesterchum interface, albeit modified slightly. Then… I suddenly had content up until the Island of the Giant Pokémon. I was having fun writing it. I wanted people to see it. So I formatted it up and hit that terrifying ‘publish’ button.
> 
> By the looks of things? I made the right decision.


	65. Mid-Season Recap

[MOD] DD: all of the pokémon are safe and sound and the backup has finally arrived too late as usual.  
[MOD] BB: So basically, it’s ended like a typical Team Rocket encounter.  
SW: -|===> Why is there even such a thing as a ‘typical’ Team Rocket encounter…  
DN: Have we checked to make sure that Ash isn’t secretly communicating with them as well?  
WC: my job is done  
TN: you didn’t do anything!

ASH KETCHUM [ultimateTrainer, UT], Chosen One and future Pokémon Master (eventually), is two thirds of the way (time-wise) and most of the way (badge-wise) towards his goal of battling in the upcoming Indigo Conference. He’s been accompanied on his journey full-time by two human friends, Misty and Brock, part-time two other human friends, Verity and Sorrel, and, by means of a chat client that mysteriously appeared on his phone two months before he started, a whole host of legendary Pokémon who’ve been watching, tracking, and commenting on his progress. He has obtained seven of the eight required badges, caught twelve unique Pokémon, saved the world on one, possibly one-and-a-half occasions, and died once. But he got better.

When he set off, Arceus strictly informed everybody that they were not to interfere and/or join in. For the most part, everybody has now completely disregarded this rule, including Arceus himself.

He has obtained the following Pokémon, in order of first appearance: Pikachu, Butterfree, Pidgeotto, Eevee, Bulbasaur, Charizard, Squirtle, Litwick, Primeape, Muk, Kangaskhan, and twenty-one (21) Tauros. He also refused to catch Ho-oh, on the basis that he didn’t want any other members of his team overshadowed.

Officially, he has fought one legendary, Ho-oh. Unofficially, he also fought Entei, knocked out Suicune by accident, and battled Marshadow and Raikou while they were both brainwashed, although the ‘battle’ with the latter lasted approximately five seconds. He also once danced with Mew. Allegedly. Most of the rest of them are his friends, especially the Kanto Birds Who Don’t Actually Live In Kanto.

ASH’S PIKACHU is starting to appreciate just how mad his trainer really is, and is actually starting to enjoy it, which is worrying him. He swears Ash died at one point, though. But since he came back to life, he’s not complaining. He’s still sure that something weird is going on that Ash isn’t admitting to. He’s met Mew on two occasions now, the first being years ago while he was a Pichu, which he has a surprisingly good memory of. The second was on the Island of the Giant Pokémon, where he found out how irritating she can really be.

ASH’S BUTTERFREE has a reputation among the watching legendaries for being a demon. Easily Ash’s second-most powerful Pokémon. Once blew up the Celadon City Gym. Most of his time recently has been spent at Professor Oak’s, so Ash can train up the others.

ASH’S PIDGEOTTO, ranking among the faster of those he owns, has completely accepted the craziness that comes along with being on Ash’s team. Charizard regards her highly for helping him understand his own evolution. She got beaten up by AJ’s Sandshrew in an event that got mentioned at one point, and is never going to underestimate Ground-types ever again.

ASH’S EEVEE was given to him by Pokémon researcher Bill, in gratitude for helping him with the giant Dragonite. He’s not yet decided what he wants to evolve into, and was very surprised to find Ash was willing to wait for him. He’s a big fan of transforming mecha (it kinds of comes with the territory if you’re an Eevee) and once drove a Blastoise.

ASH’S BULBASAUR is still quite pessimistic, and still takes a low view of humans Being Where They Don’t Belong, but he’s starting to lighten up a bit. He seems to have picked up a habit of being able to use moves he shouldn’t possibly be able to know; so far he’s been observed using Whirlwind and Fling.

ASH’S CHARIZARD has recently fully evolved, and seems to have mostly recovered from being abandoned by his previous trainer, Cross. It’s not yet clear whether he’s fully gotten over his separation anxiety, though. He has a bit of a problem with swearing.

ASH’S SQUIRTLE is of the opinion that the more awesome, the better, and usually this means disregarding sensible plans for flashier ones. Recently, his accuracy’s been getting worse in favor of just hitting everything and dealing with the specifics later.

ASH’S LITWICK, caught sort-of with the aid of Darkrai, has proven surprisingly effective on Ash’s team so far, having dealt with two of Koga’s Pokémon in the Fuchsia Gym (and nearly burning it down in the process). The others are a little creeped out by her though. It seems to be a requirement for Ghost-types.

ASH’S PRIMEAPE was caught shortly after evolving from Mankey, during a Team Rocket related incident. He doesn’t believe Ash to be a suitable trainer and, as of the current moment, refuses to do as he’s told. Ash entered a Fighting-type tournament in an effort to train him, but he got his ass kicked by the professionals, which didn’t help his case.

ASH’S MUK was sent back to Professor Oak’s lab immediately after being caught and hasn’t been back on the team since. Ash claims he’ll get around to training him ‘later’. In unrelated news, Professor Oak is spending much more of his lab’s budget on air freshener.

ASH’S KANGASKHAN joined Ash after he and Pikachu saved her and her child from Team Rocket in the Safari Zone. Basically what you’d expect from a Kangaskhan - sweet, motherly, and packs a nasty right-hook when her child’s being threatened. Her child, JUNIOR, has naturally weaponized this. Ash hasn’t nicknamed the little Kangaskhan, but everyone calls her Junior anyway.

ASH’S TAUROS were all caught more-or-less in one go by Ash, Misty and Brock at the Safari Zone, proving pretty conclusively that they can’t throw Pokéballs properly. Aside from the one Misty fished out of a lake. That was a bit weird. Like Muk, they haven’t yet left the Oak Ranch. While Ash was at the Safari Zone, he was accompanied by fellow Pallet trainer Elaine, who caught seven additional Tauros. She can’t throw Pokéballs either.

MISTY WATERFLOWER [tropicalWaterfall, TW], Junior ‘What Do You Mean, Junior’ Cerulean Gym Leader, met Ash when he stole and subsequently destroyed her bike in an effort to save Pikachu from some Spearow. She’s been hounding him for it ever since. Thanks to suggestions from one of his chat friends - Ho-oh, unbeknownst to her - she was able to give him a battle worthy of the Cerulean Gym, and they both gained a great deal of respect for each other over it (but she won’t admit it). She has recently obtained help in the form of another of Ash’s friends - Suicune - in dealing with her next-to-useless Psyduck. She has obtained the following Pokémon: Staryu, Starmie, Goldeen, Horsea, and Psyduck, although Goldeen and Horsea have suffered in appearances from the fact they’re travelling over land.

BROCK SLATE [unassumingBoulder, UB], former Pewter Gym Leader, left with Ash to take on his dream of becoming a Pokémon Breeder (which doesn’t actually involve *breeding*) when his father Flint returned to lead the gym in his stead. He’s found conversation with one of Ash’s friends - Zygarde, despite Zygarde barely talking to Ash - interesting, especially his views on Pokémon in their natural habitats. He’s best known among Ash’s friends for his cooking, which they rate as five-star, as opposed to Ash’s cooking, which rates a dismal minus nine. He has obtained the following Pokémon: Geodude and Onix, which are actually gym Pokémon that he sort of ran away with, Zubat, and Vulpix, who isn’t actually his but belongs to another Breeder and he’s just looking after her.

VERITY MAKOTO [doodleStarly, DS], trainer in-training, met Ash when he had an unexpected encounter with Entei in the woods, shortly after he (Entei) burned the Amaranth Town gym to the ground by accident. She has aspirations to become a proper trainer like Ash, and like her mother and aunt, who are both powerful and respected trainers in her home region of Sinnoh. She recently left the group to go back home and start going about it more seriously. She has obtained the following Pokémon: Piplup and Lapras, who definitely appeared once off-camera. Yup. Palkia appears to know her Aunt Cynthia somehow.

SORREL WISTERIA [mythicWisteria, MW], proto-professor, met Ash on the same day as Verity, and helped nurse Charmander back to health. He aspires to be a Pokémon Professor specializing in legendaries, which is making them a bit nervous, but is conveniently providing Ash with a plausible source for information on them. Currently, he’s set to travel with Ash as far as the Seafoam Islands, where he got a tip-off as to where Articuno was last seen. (The source of this tip-off was a future version of Celebi acting through a currently unknown agent, also from the future.) He has obtained the following Pokémon: Lucario. Not to be confused with Sir Aaron’s Lucario.

MEW [decibelDrama, DD], godcat extraordinaire, was one of Ash’s earliest supporters, as he first showed up in the Kanto legendary chat memo. She’d declared that if Arceus kicked Ash out of the chat, she was going to join his team immediately. He didn’t, so she didn’t, which she was disappointed about. Still, sticking with Ash - and occasionally streaming his exploits through use of one of Hoopa’s hoops - proved useful, as she was able to summon Xerneas to fix a potentially deadly problem with the Tree of Beginnings. She had previously received a demotion from her position as moderator due to taking Tapu Koko and Azelf into a Team Rocket hideout to rescue some captured Pokémon, but recently regained it after she ‘saved’ Ash during the Mt. Tensei crisis.

HO-OH [twiceMulticolored, TM], Storm’s End, entered Ash’s life by accident when Zekrom decided to be the first to interfere with Ash’s journey, sending him on a second quest to Mt. Tensei to meet him in person. There were a few hiccups, such as his guide becoming possessed and being the vessel for a force that attempted to kill him, but everything seemed to end alright when Ash refused to catch him. Though he was against participating in Ash’s journey at first, he sort of got dragged in and found he enjoyed it immensely. He inspired Misty to give Ash a battle to remember for the Cascade Badge, and recently introduced her to Suicune. Not that Misty actually knows who they are.

MARSHADOW [sevenStar, SS] has spent a lot of time in Ash’s shadow, tasked by Ho-oh to keep an eye on him like he would with all Rainbow Heroes. Though he started off disliking Ash, he’s found himself growing attached, which is unfamiliar and extremely uncomfortable for him. He accidentally began the Mt. Tensei crisis when the darkness in the blackened Rainbow Wing possessed him. Ash is currently giving him a lift back to the coast so he can return to Alola.

LUGIA [beastieBirb, BB], Great Guardian/Beast (delete whichever is inappropriate) has been unnaturally worried about Ash’s whole journey so far, having to be constantly reassured by both Ho-oh and Arceus that everything is fine. This may have something to do with an unknown topic which nobody in the Ash discussion memo is allowed to talk about. Ash once accidentally used his account one time, after he and his friends got trapped inside a computer and Giratina had to bail them out. Long story.

The KANTO BIRDS, ARTICUNO [offensiveGlaceon, OG], ZAPDOS [thunderbirbTwo, TT] and MOLTRES [dantesNferno, DN], alternate between cheering Ash on and good-naturedly fighting each other. Articuno has expressed an interest in joining Ash’s team, but nobody can work out if it’s to actually help or just for the food. Zapdos is a classic television enthusiast, especially of a specific marionette program, and once helped Ash by electrocuting herself on top of a power plant. Moltres is a fountain of information, most of it unwanted, and never shuts up. All three of them provided ‘advice’ during the two months before Ash began his journey, and it’s starting to show that they’re rubbing off on him.

The ECRUTEAK BEASTS, RAIKOU [boltfromTheblue, BT], ENTEI [blazingGlory, BG] and SUICUNE [crystallineSlush, CS], initially took on the role of long-distance watchers (at least, the latter two did, Raikou shut himself in Ho-oh’s basement and refused to come out). Raikou has stayed out of proceedings so far for the most part, only turning up at Mt. Tensei because Ho-oh locked him out. Entei, usually a grouch, has discovered the joy of Amaranth Town’s peanut butter breadballs, and subsequently the ridicule that came from accidentally burning the gym down. Suicune has unfortunately found herself a magnet for attacks fired by Ash’s Pokémon that missed. She’s recently been introduced to Misty, and has been making notes on how to help her with Psyduck. All three of them suffered from being mind-controlled on Mt. Tensei, but don’t seem any worse for the wear.

SHAYMIN [grassrootsOptimism, GO] has been a very vocal and positive supporter in Ash Discussion so far, although as winter approaches, she’s soon to hibernate. She singlehandedly turned Gringy City into a pollution-free haven, fulfilling her species’ obligation and pummelling her lazy cousin with the subsequent Seed Flare as a bonus.

VIRIZION [scimitarGamma, SG] has been another major participant, mostly out of concern for Charmander’s welfare before he evolved, due to her role as a Sword of Justice. This participation isn’t appreciated by the Swords’ leader, COBALION, who doesn’t want the Swords’ newest recruit, KELDEO, to get distracted by what Ash is doing.

TAPU KOKO [unabatedStimulus, US] has been extremely vocal, mostly in the way of awful puns, which always get him kicked from the memo. He’s an enthusiastic Ash supporter. His current goal is to get as many legendaries wearing Alolan shirts as possible.

GIRATINA [wonkyWindlass, WW] is the creator of the chat system the legendaries use, and even he’s stumped by how Ash got in. Socially awkward, he spends most of his time programming (and failing to program) new poryBot functions, as well as streaming Ash’s major battles via the Lake Guardians and the Reverse World. How does streaming work? Nobody knows.

CELEBI [outtaTime, OT], time-travelling troll, knows Ash and his friends sometime in the future, having first met them in their future, but in her past. She delights in reminding people of this. She’s not averse to dropping a hot spoiler for the lols if she feels like it, though sometimes she does it by accident, like when she spoiled Charizard’s evolution to Suicune and Tapu Bulu.

The LAKE GUARDIANS, UXIE [notaryMemento, NM], MESPRIT [gallimaufryWheeze, GW] and AZELF [counterweightWillow, CW], have been acting as Giratina’s cameramons for Ash’s bigger battles, where they sit in the Reverse World so they can’t be seen. Mesprit is particularly keen on shipping everyone with everyone else, and has most recently coined the crack ship GuardianAngelShipping, or Ash x Mew. (However, Celebi did spoil that this was a thing quite a while ago.) Azelf has been particularly intrigued by the persistence of a specific Team Rocket Trio. Uxie is pretty much just along for the ride.

DIALGA [doctorWhom, DW] has been trying to adhere to the ‘no interference’ rule, at least to the degree that they shouldn’t actually show themselves. He fairly recently encountered a situation in which he found himself unable to sit back and watch, so he changed time for a more positive outcome, only to find that that was the outcome history planned for all along. Time Travel: If you don’t have a headache, you don’t understand it.

PALKIA [walkaboutDistributor, WD] has more or less been doing the same, only slightly more behind the scenes, and slightly less politely. Being part of the Creation Trio she really shouldn’t be encouraging any of this. But there’s a status quo, and as long as she doesn’t upset it, everything’s going to be fine. She seems to know Verity’s Aunt Cynthia somehow.

CRESSELIA [topiaryDreamscape, TD] has taken it upon herself to keep herself appraised of Ash’s mental health, so she’s constantly baffled by how much doesn’t seem to phase him. She taught him a trick to deal with hypnosis, but it’s only worked once so far. Or twice, if you count Charizard copying it as a time.

DARKRAI [nightmareUnleaded, NU] has found himself helping Ash reluctantly on all three of his appearances, mainly because he doesn’t want his reputation of being a moody fuck spoiled by being seen being helpful.

ARCEUS [theOne, TO] has been constantly surprised by what Ash gets up to, but on the whole has been a Very Responsible Creator. He brought Ash back to life when he died, which helped things along. He’s monitoring from a distance; if things go direly wrong, then he’ll jump in in a heartbeat, but for the most part he’s content to let the others make their own decisions.

ZEKROM [chasingMendacity, CM] was the first to break the no interfering rule, necessitating an intervention by Ho-oh. He was entirely unrepentant about it, as he sees Ash as a fledgling Hero of Ideals.

MELOETTA [octetMelody, OM] has been mostly quiet, but behind the scenes has been trying to write a theme song for Ash’s adventure. It’s giving her a lot of trouble, even though she had Mew helping out at one point.

XERNEAS [barkNecessarily, BN] helped Mew out with the Tree of Life when the problem with it was discovered. Normally, exhausting his energy would turn him into a tree for a thousand years, but with Dialga’s help, those thousand years can be passed in a few minutes, so really he only has to watch out for nesting birds. He also helped out Arceus when Ash died, but officially that didn’t officially happen.

ZYGARDE [neverNadir, NN] has been the other moderator for Ash’s friends chat for a while now, though he’s been inactive in the main chat. He claims that it’s so he can’t get caught out by knowing facts he’s not supposed to know, which is fair, although he probably just doesn’t know what to talk about.

HOOPA [oddityOdyssey, OO] has made a few appearances, mostly to provide portal rings for streaming purposes on short notice, and to prank people when the rings are no longer needed.

TAPU LELE [monarchUkulele, MU] is a bit slow on the uptake, so most of her time is spent asking obvious questions, and being extremely embarrassed about being related to Koko.

ZACIAN [sleuthWolf, SW] and ZAMAZENTA [welshStaccato, WS] have started popping in from time to time. Zamazenta in particular was taken with how addictive watching Ash was becoming.

The rest of the legendaries have either not turned up or only appeared once or twice. Notable absences include the Regis, as they are just too busy with more important things, the rest of Hoenn, since Groudon and Kyogre are too busy fighting each other, and the Forces of Nature, who simply don’t give a shit. These absences also include LATIAS [tenaciousNova, TN], who somehow managed to get herself blocked from the main memo before the story even began.

Ash is now leaving Mt. Tensei in the direction of Cinnabar Island, where he expects to challenge the Gym for the last badge he needs to enter the Indigo Conference. He went a bit out of his way to get to the mountain, so he’s a little bit behind the schedule that Moltres drew up for him. On the way, he plans to visit Seafoam Islands for Sorrel, and hopes for a chance to actually see Articuno in person for the first time as well.

The chances of this going off without a hitch are basically zero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back from the hiatus!
> 
> Believe it or not, this actually has grounds in an episode, or one that was planned, anyway. “It’s New Year’s Eve! Pocket Monsters Encore” was going to be a clip show-like special that aired on, you guessed it, New Year’s Eve, at the end of 1997. After the Porygon Incident happened, it got canned completely, and the series didn’t resume until April 1998. So this is just an updated summary / quick recap on where we are at the moment, which is pretty much the text equivalent of a clip show.
> 
> Owing to real-life circumstances, at least until March, the story will be updating every two days, instead of every day, so Episode 61 will land on Wednesday. I have a work deadline at the beginning of March, and at the one-a-day pace, that would be about the time when I hit Mewtwo, and I *really* don’t want to reach the point where I’m working on both at the same time. So forgive the slowness. It might be that it gets slower in this upcoming month, as I’ve still yet to reach and write Ash’s Cinnabar gym battle, and I don’t particularly want to get stuck writing *that* and hitting my work deadline at the same time either.


	66. Episode 61 (Attack of the Prehistoric Pokémon)

WW: UGH  
WW: WHAT A MESS THAT WAS  
WW: OKAY  
WW: BREAK OVER TIME TO GET SOME WORK DONE  
tenaciousNova [TN] joined [PORYBOT TESTING MEMO].  
TN: morning giratina!  
WW:  
WW: LATIAS WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE  
TN: i need a reason to be in here?  
WW: YES  
TN: can’t i just come to visit my favorite admin?  
WW: LATIAS WHAT DO YOU WANT  
TN: i’ve come to say something.  
TN: make a proposal, if you will.  
WW: WHAT  
TN: i have written a new module for porybot.  
TN: one which i think you’ll find comes in very useful.  
WW: PLEASE JUST GET TO THE POINT  
TN: okay, okay!  
TN: it’s a censorship module!  
TN: you just switch it on for, say, a ten year old who really shouldn’t be exposed to foul language, and huzzah!  
TN: no more constant shushing.  
WW: OH  
WW: THAT  
WW: ACTUALLY SOUNDS PRETTY USEFUL  
TN: thank you!  
TN: and i’ll happily give it to you!  
TN: …just as soon as you lift my ban from ash’s memo.  
TN: it gets very *boring* in alto mare.  
TN: i’m in desperate need of entertainment over here.  
WW:  
WW:  
WW: LATIAS  
WW: YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE BANNED FROM ASHS MEMO IN THE FIRST PLACE  
TN: some taurosshit, i know.  
WW: NO  
WW: ITS BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING TO OBSTAGOON HIM INTO DOING WHAT YOU WANTED  
WW: RATHER THAN WHAT HE WANTED  
TN: baseless accusation!  
WW: I HAVE THE LOG  
WW: YOU WANTED HIM TO TAKE HIS SQUIRTLE AND GO AND ATTACK ZERAORA WITH IT  
WW: BECAUSE IT WOULD  
WW: UH  
WW: QUOTE SHOW THAT PRICK HES NOT TOP CAT ANY MORE END QUOTE  
TN: well, he’s not.  
WW: IM GOING TO HAVE TO TALK TO DAD ABOUT THIS  
TN: c’mon, giratina!  
TN: this is just a proposal between us!  
TN: arceus doesn’t need to know!  
WW: AND YOU THINK HE WONT FIND OUT ANYWAY  
TN: no!  
TN: well, not right away, anyway, and by the time he does, it’ll be too late!  
theOne [TO] responded to [PORYBOT TESTING MEMO].  
TN: oh fuck you giratina.

* * *

UT: so what’s the story behind fossil pokémon?  
[MOD] DD: story?  
[MOD] DD: uh  
[ADMIN] DW: Resurrections of extinct Pokémon.  
UT: yeah i get that, but how did they become extinct?  
[ADMIN] DW: For the most part?  
[ADMIN] DW: Deoxys.  
COT: yeah, deoxys came in and kinda messed up the whole planet!  
COT: took us ages to fix it!  
UT: oh wow.  
UT: i think i remember, did he land that meteor on top of arceus?  
COT: basically!  
[MOD] DD: he was stuck under there for… twenty years, i think?  
[ADMIN] DW: Something like that.  
[ADMIN] DW: Not that a ‘year’ was a concept that existed at that point, but I digress.  
[ADMIN] DW: As penance, Deoxys has been made to conduct research on ways that DNA can be extracted from fossils and thus revive the Pokémon that formed them.  
COT: after we sort out all the spelling and stuff.  
COT: great guy  
COT: uh  
COT: thing  
COT: but he’s not so good at the spelling.  
UT: …  
UT: ah  
UT: gotta go!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] DD: prediction: something’s about to explode.  
COT: i’d join in, but i’d just win by default.  
[MOD] DD: why, do you know that something’s going to blow up?  
COT: well  
COT: it *is* ash!  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[MOD] DD: …  
[MOD] DD: so im gonna take that as a yes…  
[ADMIN] DW: It’s been *two days*.  
[ADMIN] DW: *Two days* since that debacle on Mt. Tensei.  
[ADMIN] DW: We made everybody promise to give the memo a rest for a few days so he could have some downtime!  
COT: counterpoint: ash nearly died what three hours after he set off?  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[ADMIN] DW: We should just be lucky he isn’t permanently in these situations…  
[MOD] DD: …  
[MOD] DD: yep, something blew up.  
[ADMIN] DW: You’re kidding.  
[MOD] DD: literally.  
[MOD] DD: smells like dynamite.  
[ADMIN] DW: Who uses dynamite to dig for fossils?!  
[MOD] DD: i don’t see ash anywhere…  
[MOD] DD: @ultimatetrainer  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: in cave am fine busy sry  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[MOD] DD: how does he have a signal in there?  
COT: well, it’s an improvement! :D

* * *

PIKACHU: Wait, what?!  
PIKACHU: What are *you* doing here?!  
MARSHADOW: …  
PIKACHU: Look I don’t have time to deal with you! Ash needs help and he’s trying to fight an angry mob of fossils with Primeape!  
MARSHADOW: …  
PIKACHU: …  
MARSHADOW: …  
PIKACHU: …What?  
MARSHADOW: do you want help or not  
PIKACHU: Wh  
PIKACHU: Why are you offering to help all of a sudden?!  
PIKACHU: It’s only been two days since you…!  
MARSHADOW: …  
MARSHADOW: i know  
MARSHADOW: i *know*  
MARSHADOW: i want to take it back  
MARSHADOW: i cant  
MARSHADOW: so let me help  
PIKACHU: …  
MARSHADOW: …  
MARSHADOW: please  
PIKACHU: …Fine. Come on!

* * *

ASH: primeape this really isn’t helping…!  
PRIMEAPE: TOO BAD!  
PRIMEAPE: FINALLY THESE ARE WORTHY OPPONENTS!  
PRIMEAPE: NOW YOU CAN SHOW ME WHAT YOURE MADE OF!  
PRIMEAPE: FORWoof  
ASH: primeape!  
PRIMEAPE: SEE THAT WOULDNTVE HAPPENED IF YOUD BEEN PAYING ATTENTION!  
PRIMEAPE: HERE YOU PUNCH THEM!  
ASH: aaaah!  
PRIMEAPE: WUSS!  
PIKACHU: Ash!  
ASH: pikachu!  
PRIMEAPE: OH GREAT I THOUGHT ID DITCHED YOU!  
PRIMEAPE: WERE TRYING TO DO SOME TRAINING HERE!  
PIKACHU: You—  
PRIMEAPE: WH—  
ASH: marshadow?!  
ASH: what are you doing o—  
ASH: pikachu, help him! thunder shock!  
ASH: primeape, that kabutops! use karate chop!  
PRIMEAPE: I DONT WANT MY ARMS SLICED OFF!  
ASH: primeape—  
PRIMEAPE: EAT FURY SWIPES!  
MARSHADOW: theyre rock types  
PRIMEAPE: I DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT STAY OUT OF THIS!  
PRIMEAPE: IM TRYING TO TRAIN ASH HERE!  
PIKACHU: It’s *Ash* who’s supposed to be training *you*, idiot!  
PRIMEAPE: THEN WHY ISNT HE DOING IT!  
PIKACHU: Because you’re not *listening* to him!  
PIKACHU: You’re only making these guys more angry!  
MARSHADOW: im not doing this by myself  
PIKACHU: Aaaargh!  
PIKACHU: Sorry Primeape but this is for your own good!  
PRIMEAPE: WHAT ARE YOU TAzzzzzzzz  
ASH: pikachu, what was that for?!  
ASH: …okay, fine! primeape, return!  
ASH: pikachu, aim for that omanyte!  
PIKACHU: Take this!  
ASH: …  
ASH: wait, what pokémon is that?!  
POKÉDEX: No data available.  
ASH: really?!  
PIKACHU: What is that?!  
MARSHADOW: thats a bastiodon  
MARSHADOW: that shouldnt be here  
PIKACHU: Can’t you just talk to these guys and get them to calm down or something?!  
MARSHADOW: do i look like i do diplomacy  
ASH: look out! marshadow, spectral thief!  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: Huh, that’s useful.  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: Wait, how’d Ash know what—  
PIKACHU: Ash!  
ASH: GAH

* * *

PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: …Okay.  
PIKACHU: That was a thing.  
CHARIZARD: was it  
CHARIZARD: it just felt like another day with ash  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: All days with Ash are things.  
PIKACHU: He’s insane.  
CHARIZARD: says the guy who willingly went up against a legendary for him  
PIKACHU: Point taken.  
PIKACHU: So what was all that about?  
PIKACHU: You got pretty upset with that Aerodactyl.  
CHARIZARD: well  
CHARIZARD: i realized something else  
CHARIZARD: im still a little  
CHARIZARD: uh  
CHARIZARD: i really dont want ash to leave  
PIKACHU: Well, neither do I.  
CHARIZARD: but im strong enough now that i can stop others from taking him away  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: I can respect that.  
PIKACHU: So what’s *your* deal?  
MARSHADOW: …  
PIKACHU: I thought you were just supposed to escort Ash up the mountain.  
CHARIZARD: wasnt he the one who had the pokémon attack ash  
MARSHADOW: …  
MARSHADOW: i dont know  
PIKACHU: ?  
CHARIZARD: ?  
MARSHADOW: look i just dont know ok  
MARSHADOW: remembering its like looking at the world with the lights off  
MARSHADOW: just shapes in darkness  
PIKACHU: …setting that aside for the moment…  
PIKACHU: …why are you still here?  
MARSHADOW: …  
MARSHADOW: i want to make it up to him somehow  
CHARIZARD: hmph  
MARSHADOW: i dont expect you to understand  
PIKACHU: No, I don’t.  
PIKACHU: But you helped, so…  
PIKACHU: Thanks, I guess.  
MARSHADOW: …  
CHARIZARD: …  
CHARIZARD: you tried to help before  
CHARIZARD: when ash was hypnotized  
MARSHADOW: yeah  
PIKACHU: Wait, what???  
PIKACHU: When was this?!  
PIKACHU: Why didn’t you tell me about it?!  
CHARIZARD: the others said i was seeing things  
CHARIZARD: …  
CHARIZARD: you tried to take ash away and im still not happy about that  
CHARIZARD: but  
CHARIZARD: at least youre trying to help now  
MARSHADOW: …  
CHARIZARD: …  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: So how’d Ash know what that move of yours was?  
PIKACHU: We saw it before on the mountain, but…  
MARSHADOW: …  
MARSHADOW: beats me  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: Is she *still* going?  
CHARIZARD: yeah  
PIKACHU: How much ink is in that pen?

* * *

[MOD] DD: ah!  
[MOD] DD: jigglypuff strikes again.  
UT: yeah, i  
UT: don’t want to talk about it :(  
COT: oh?  
COT: jigglypuff?  
COT: *the* jigglypuff?  
UT: why are you asking that like she’s a thing you know about?  
COT: because she is a thing i know about!  
UT: oh boy.  
UT: hey so um  
UT: we found an egg.  
[MOD] DD: found?  
UT: well i woke up after jigglypuff and it was just sorta there.  
UT: and we’re not being attacked by an angry mom pokémon, so…  
[MOD] DD: pic plz  
ultimateTrainer [UT] uploaded file "egg.jpg".  
[MOD] DD: hmm.  
COT: ooh!  
COT: aaaaand i’m gonna leave!  
UT: …something else you know about?  
COT: oh yeah!  
COT: but it’s a good thing!  
COT: you’ll see!  
COT: i’m just skipping ahead a bit to when it hatches.  
COT: whooosh!  
COT: i’ll finish this sentence when—  
current outtaTime [COT] fled the memo.  
UT: i don’t know if i’m reassured.  
[MOD] DD: same.  
UT: do you know what kind of pokémon it is?  
[MOD] DD: i think?  
[MOD] DD: do you want the spoilers?  
UT: hmm  
UT: nah, i’m good.  
UT: it’ll be a surprise when it hatches!  
[MOD] DD: a surprise with the celebi certificate of approval, too!  
[ADMIN] DW: …  
[ADMIN] DW: Ash, did you *really* suffer an attempted abduction at the claws of an Aerodactyl?  
UT: yeah…  
[ADMIN] DW: You are an impossible child.

* * *

TO: That is the deal, Latias.  
TO: You can take it, and we will release the block, or you can reject it, and we will not.  
TN: …  
TN: =.=  
TN: you drive a hard bargain.  
TN: fine. deal.  
TN: what ash is doing is the most exciting thing i’ve heard of in years, and i want in.  
TO: The last time you attempted to involve yourself in something ‘exciting’ you caused the Alto Mare Crisis.  
TN: yeah, yeah, i know, geez.  
TO: I’m serious, Latias.  
TN: you’re always serious!  
TO: I know.  
TO: I’m making sure you understand.  
TO: You only get one warning. Ignore that, and you’re out again.  
TO: Ash goes where *he* wants to, not where *you* want him to.  
TO: His journey is, primarily, a learning experience.  
TO: Any excitement he happens to get into is purely by coincidence.  
TO: He battles for his dream, not for your entertainment.  
TO: Are we clear?  
TN: …  
TN: yeah. fine. whatever.  
TO: Latias.  
TO: One word answer. Yes or no.  
TN: yes.  
TO: Good.  
TO: Latias, you know I like you. I’d like to be able to let you involve yourself more.  
TO: The only thing that’s stopping that from happening is you.  
TO: I’m authorizing your return to Ash’s memo because I believe you can change.  
TO: Please don’t prove me wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was still a little bit of movie fallout, so Marshadow’s getting more involved than he really expected. In canon, this was the episode in which Charmeleon evolved into Charizard, in order to fight the aforementioned kidnapping Aerodactyl, and as Ash’s most powerful non-Pikachu Pokémon, wasn’t allowed to behave until the Orange Islands. As his current disobedient Pokémon, Primeape subs in. But in this case, Ash basically alone in a cave with lots of dangerous Pokémon? Marshadow has *no* excuse not to help now, even if it means being seen.
> 
> Pikachu’s starting to work things out, Jigglypuff’s back, the arrival of E G G, and Latias is plotting. The problem I have with Latias is that she is by far my favourite legendary, so I’ve got to try and temper treating her as The Best Legendary. Somehow that ended up as her *expecting* to be treated as The Best Legendary, so she is to this story what Vriska is to vanilla Homestuck, somebody who's willing to go to any length to become relevant. And yes, Deoxys' arrival in this canon is being treated as the equivalent of the meteor strike that ended the dinosaurs.
> 
> Obstagooning = badgering.


	67. Episode 62 (Princess vs Princess)

grassrootsOptimism [GO] began pestering ultimateTrainer [UT].

GO: Hi Ash!  
UT: hey shaymin!  
GO: I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be going offline to hibernate shortly.  
GO: I really enjoyed watching your battles!  
UT: thanks!  
UT: how long do you think you’ll be asleep?  
GO: A couple of months at least.  
GO: I should be awake again in time for the league though!  
UT: cool.  
UT: sleep well!  
GO: Thank you, Ash!  
GO: I look forward to seeing what you got up to in the meantime!

* * *

TN: a *what*?  
[MOD] DD: princess festival!  
TN: i’ve never heard of something i want to be a part of less.  
[MOD] DD: actually it looks right up your alley!  
[MOD] DD: basically for the duration girls are SUPERIOR BEINGS.  
TN: we’re superior beings anyway.  
TT: truth  
OG: Fuck off Zapdos  
TT: come over here and make me  
[MOD] DD: well yeah.  
[MOD] DD: but pretty much everything’s on sale if you’re a girl and full price if you’re a guy.  
[MOD] DD: so misty’s pretty much going all out and brock and sorrel have gotta carry all her stuff.  
US: what about ash  
[MOD] DD: well, somebody’s gotta carry *my* stuff.  
TN: see now this is completely unfair.  
TN: how come *you’re* allowed to interfere with what ash is doing???  
[MOD] DD: ‘cause i’m not interfering!  
[MOD] DD: it’s more like ‘keeping ash occupied while misty’s busy’.  
[MOD] DD: plus i’m actually transformed into a human at this point.  
[MOD] DD: it’s really icky, i don’t know *why* they don’t have tails, but w/e.  
TT: what are you even shopping for  
[MOD] DD: do you even need to ask?  
[MOD] DD: toys!  
[MOD] DD: and food.  
[MOD] DD: i don’t often get the chance to do toy shopping and i’m milking this for all it’s worth.  
US: and milkin ashs wallet dry  
[MOD] DD: no, it’s my own money.  
[MOD] DD: i may be a cat but i’m not *that* mean.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: I’m assuming that a) Ash knows that’s you and b) his friends know he’s playing bagcarrier to somebody he knows.  
[MOD] DD: oh, he knows.  
[MOD] DD: to the others, he’s just been accosted by his old family friend deedee.  
TN: deedee.  
TN: dd.  
TN: are you for real.  
US: at least it wasnt kitty  
TN: don’t put any ideas in her head, koko.  
TN: so if you’re allowed to do this stuff when you’re transformed into a human why am *i* not allowed to??  
NT: Probably because she’s actually a human right now.  
NT: And not an illusive copy of some other girl she knows who can’t speak a syllable of human language and who keeps forgetting she’s not supposed to fly.  
TN: lies!  
ultimateTrainer [UT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
UT: sorry but can i just ask  
UT: why did articuno tell zapdos to fudge off?  
OG: I did  
OG: When  
TN: that, ash ketchum, is my patent censorship module for porybot!  
TN: thus you are no longer exposed to the kind of filth you hear from these guys normally.  
[MOD] DD: ash you’re gonna drop that phone in a minute.  
UT: i’m fine!  
UT: but latias… if i still know what he meant to say, then…  
TN: eh, details.  
TN: can’t stop you from inferring anything, that’d be too much work.  
TN: but it basically means ho-oh and the other mods don’t have to keep shushing everyone when they swear.  
TN: ‘cause they start to sound like broken records.  
[MOD] TM: I find it very useful.  
TN: see?  
[MOD] TM: It means I have more time to pay attention to making sure you’re behaving.  
TN: …  
TN: …  
TN: …  
TN: SHIT.  
US: whoops  
US: somebody fucked up  
NT: Did you really forget to factor that in?  
NT: You’re a catastrophe sometimes, sister.  
TN: so are you!  
[MOD] TM: I think Latios, one way or another, we’re all disasters waiting to happen.  
NT: True enough.  
OG: Especially Ash  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
[MOD] DD: he dropped it.

* * *

UN: hmmm.  
UN: that is an acceptable likeness.  
UN: i require it.  
UT: uhh…  
TN: ha!  
[MOD] DD: yeah fyi i’m not getting into this.  
UN: ash.  
UN: win it for me.  
UT: uhhhhhhh.  
UT: you… do know this is a girls only tournament, right?  
UN: so?  
UN: why should you let that stop you?  
UN: it can’t be so hard to acquire suitable clothing.  
UT: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  
[MOD] TM: Diancie.  
[MOD] TM: Mew dragging Ash around to do shopping is one thing, but demanding that he crossdress in order to obtain a doll in your image is another.  
[MOD] TM: He’s ten years old!  
UT: ten and a half!  
[MOD] TM: Regardless!  
[MOD] DD: yeah, funny as it’d be, i don’t want to see ash in drag.  
UT: i’m still in here!  
UT: and no offense diancie but i barely know you!  
TN: yeah, diancie.  
TN: why don’t you let ash do what he wants to?  
UN: you’re such a hypocrite, latias.  
TN: well excuuuuuse me, princess!  
TN: i wanted him to go and have a battle!  
TN: not dress up as a girl so he can win some competition just for some stupid doll!  
UN: are you implying my visage is stupid?  
TN: i’m not ‘implying’ anything!  
[MOD] TM: Latias, Diancie, if you want to argue, take it somewhere else.  
NT: I knew the temptation would be too great.  
TN: you shut up!  
TT: slapfight slapfight  
[MOD] TM: Zapdos, don’t start.  
UN: in a physical fight, i would win.  
UN: fairy-type advantage.  
TN: oh yeah?  
TN: why don’t you come over here and prove it?  
US: are we gonna have to rescue the princess from the dragon  
[MOD] DD: not *now*, koko…  
[MOD] TM: The pair of you, stop.  
[MOD] TM: Latias, this counts as your first and only warning.  
TN: wh  
TN: but that only counts for if i try to make ash do stuff!  
[MOD] TM: The deal is that you agree to behave yourself in all manners.  
[MOD] TM: Starting a fight with Diancie is not behaving yourself.  
TN: she started it!  
UN: i did not!  
[MOD] TM: I don’t care who started it.  
[MOD] TM: It stops.  
[MOD] TM: Now.  
UT: :/  
UT: i’m just gonna go cheer misty on instead.  
ultimateTrainer [UT] fled the memo.  
UN: hmph.  
TN: hmph yourself.  
TN: are we gonna get a stream of this competition, at all?  
[MOD] DD: don’t think so.  
[MOD] DD: the guardians are pretty busy rn.  
[MOD] DD: and hoopa got put in timeout for some reason.  
[MOD] DD: you get my commentary and that is it.  
TN: oh, so there’s no point staying.  
TN: thanks for actually saying so.  
tenaciousNova [TN] fled the memo.  
NT: …  
NT: Sigh…  
NT: I’d better make sure she doesn’t break anything.  
nestedTempo [NT] fled the memo.  
US: so  
US: who thought lettin her in here was a good idea again  
[MOD] DD: grandad.  
US: …  
US: k then  
UN: mew.  
[MOD] DD: yeah no.  
[MOD] DD: i’m not entering this thing.  
[MOD] DD: those dolls are ornamental and i hate ornamental stuff.  
[MOD] DD: ornamental things are there to be broken.  
[MOD] DD: look if you remind me later i’ll find some store that sells one or something, i’m pretty sure i saw one somewhere.  
UN: …  
UN: acceptable.

* * *

tropicalWaterfall [TW] began pestering crystallineSlush [CS].

TW: hey.  
TW: have you got a minute?  
CS: Probably.  
TW: so I made a bit of progress with Psyduck.  
CS: Oh, you did?  
TW: yeah.  
TW: I didn’t really have much of a chance to do any training with him since we last spoke.  
TW: today, he  
TW: it was kind of unintentional, he came out to battle against a Lickitung that Team Rocket had for some reason, but…  
TW: he actually won.  
TW: and I think you were right.  
TW: he started attacking straight out of the ball.  
TW: but he kept it going for a while.  
TW: he used Confusion, Water Gun, and… I think Disable?  
CS: I believe they are all moves Psyduck are capable of learning, yes.  
CS: Nothing Earth-shattering, but I doubt that’s what you were expecting.  
TW: just before his last attack the Lickitung, uh  
TW: kind of wrapped its tongue around his head.  
TW: and he sort of went really still, and…  
TW: suddenly used confusion.  
TW: and it was really powerful, too.  
CS: Hmmm.  
CS: When the Lickitung was attacking, was Psyduck able to see, at all?  
TW: …  
TW: huh.  
TW: no, I don’t think so.  
CS: It may seem a strange suggestion, but when you next decide to try training him, see what happens if you blindfold him.  
CS: You don’t need to be actually battling with him, but have him standing still, and try a few commands.  
CS: Of course it could be that the Lickitung’s tongue was simply tight enough to increase pressure and thus worsen his headache, but simply blocking out his eyesight won’t do any harm.  
TW: okay, I’ll try that.  
TW: …  
TW: …huh.  
CS: Something the matter?  
TW: no, I just  
TW: for some reason I just remembered a conversation I had with Ash and another of your friends.  
TW: that a bunch of you like roleplaying as legendary pokémon.  
CS: Uh.  
CS: He… told you that?  
TW: kinda.  
TW: um.  
TW: does that mean you do it too?  
CS: …  
CS: …  
CS: …on occasion, yes.  
CS: It may seem appropriate that I have acted as Suicune in the past.  
CS: Water-type affinity, and all.  
TW: oh.  
TW: that’s actually interesting.  
CS: It is?  
TW: I saw Suicune once.  
CS: You  
CS: Uh  
CS: You did?  
CS: When?  
TW: it was a while back.  
TW: one of our friends couldn’t sleep, she was texting me across the camp, and…  
TW: it  
TW: uh, she I guess, was just standing there.  
CS: Oh.  
TW: have you ever seen her?  
CS: …I don't think I could say.  
TW: it was the first time I’d ever seen a legendary.  
TW: of course that was before Ash started attracting them like a magnet.  
TW: I’m guessing you know about the Ho-oh thing.  
CS: Yes, I’m… very much aware about that.  
CS: For Ho-oh to declare someone his personal hero…  
TW: has that sort of thing ever happened before?  
CS: I’m not sure I could say that it has.  
TW: he’s your dad’s hero, too.  
TW: that’s what he said when he first messaged me.  
TW: I thought it was just something stupid but went along with it anyway.  
TW: look where we ended up.  
CS: Ash… has that effect on people.  
CS: I need to go. You’ll let me know how the blindfold works out?  
TW: sure.

crystallineSlush [CS] stopped pestering tropicalWaterfall [TW].

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The content of this episode is based on real-life Japanese festival Hinamatsuri, and it was supposed to air on the holiday itself. Then the Porygon Incident happened and shoved it out of position, which is why this episode doesn’t feature Togepi even though it aired after she hatched, and why the Farfetch’d episode - which aired before this one - mentions Jessie’s Lickitung. Remember Lickitung? Didn’t do much for a few years and then got sacrificed to bring us Wobbuffet.
> 
> The Pokémon Princess dolls that originally appeared are Pikachu, Clefairy, Squirtle, Bulbasaur, Charmander, Jynx, Jigglypuff, Chansey, Poliwhirl and Slowpoke, not really any Pokémon that spring to mind when you say ‘Princess’, even when the generation restriction is considered. Thus, they’re not mentioned in the dialogue, but they’re all replaced with typically feminine Pokémon - Gardevoir, Lopunny, Hatterene, Primarina, Sylveon, capped off of course by the diamond princess herself, Diancie.
> 
> Shaymin's out, Latias is in. Joining in seemed like the sort of thing Mew would do. Getting into a slapfight seemed like the sort of thing Latias and Diancie would do too. Princess vs Princess in a different sense - Diancie, the literal princess, fighting with Latias, who’s a bit of a diva. (It should be noted that Ash hasn’t yet crossdressed in this continuity, since he never needed to do it in Celadon.) And Psyduck gets a moment, since he was denied the one Team Rocket never gave him at Fuchsia gym. In retrospect, having worked on the next few episodes, there’s actually a lot of Psyduck coming up here.
> 
> (Extra note added 9 hours after posting - yes, I have now seen the Suicune episode of Journeys. No, that *won't* be happening.)


	68. Episode 63 (Holy Matrimony)

NM: Azelf .   
CW: what   
NM: What Did You Just Do ?   
CW: nothing   
GW: ImPrettySureItWasMoreThanNothing!   
CW: …   
CW: i   
CW: may have   
CW: (meddled)   
CW: a little bit   
GW: ALittleBit?   
CW: he required more (willpower)   
CW: so   
CW: i gave him some   
NM: Azelf , You   
NM: Why ?   
CW: he was so (close) to doing it anyway   
CW: all he needed was the (courage) to do so   
NM: Do You Plan To Tell Ash You Are Responsible For James Running Away With His Family’s Growlithe ?   
CW: no   
GW: Hmmmm.   
GW: IForOneAmInterestedToSeeWhereThisGoes!   
NM: Not You Too , Mesprit !   
CW: (uxie)   
CW: you werent (there)   
CW: (james) will treat (growlie) much better than his (family) would   
NM: Why Were You Even There ?   
CW:   
CW: (no comment)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James’ family is awful. I don’t think there’s much more that needs to be said here. It’s not just Ash who gets new Pokémon. Azelf’s meddling now.
> 
> In Kanto, Growlie is by far the easiest cast addition to make from canon (since Kangaskhan could only be added after the first episode of Journeys). By comparison, it’s *much* harder for new picks for Brock and Misty. Most of Brock’s Pokémon don’t do anything *anyway*, and while Misty does obtain Horsea and Psyduck at reasonable points, the entirety of her season second half is occupied with e g g .
> 
> That’s not to say that Growlie’s going to become an instant new cast member, since James cares about Growlie to the point where he’s going to be reluctant to send him out at first.


	69. Episode 64 (So Near, Yet So Farfetch'd)

CS: No, I think it’s going well.   
CS: I didn’t expect her to try the blindfold thing for an actual battle, but we’ll see how this works.   
TM: Good to hear.   
CS: Sorrel’s Lucario is a fantastic mediator, I have to say.   
TM: Lucario as a species usually are.   
TM: Sir Aaron’s defused an argument the first time I saw him.   
CS: Oh?   
CS: Who was the argument between?   
TM: Aaron and one of his superiors, I believe.   
TM: Lucario stepped in to stop anybody getting hurt.   
CS: How is he, nowadays?   
TM: Still adjusting to modern life, and doing well.   
TM: Though he is still attempting to cover every year of history he missed, in order.   
TM: I did tell him that not every detail was necessary to understand modern times, but he insisted.   
TM: He’s every bit as stubborn as his partner was.   
CS: …   
CS: Uh oh.   
TM: Suicune?

crystallineSlush [CS] stopped pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].

TM: Hmmm.

crystallineSlush [CS] began pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].

CS: Gah.   
CS: I’m so sorry.   
TM: What happened?   
CS: Let’s just say the blindfold idea worked a little too well.   
TM: …   
TM: Are you *sure* you don’t know Follow Me?

* * *

TN: ugh.   
TN: why is it that as soon as i’m allowed back in ash then does nothing exciting for ages?!   
[MOD] DD: cool it!   
[MOD] DD: he’s earned a break!   
TN: it’s a conspiracy, i swear.   
NT: I very much doubt it.   
TN: nobody asked you.

* * *

tropicalWaterfall [TW] began pestering crystallineSlush [CS].

TW: um.  
TW: it worked a bit.  
tropicalWaterfall [TW] uploaded file "farfetchd.jpg".  
CS: …  
CS: Is  
CS: Is that a Farfetch’d stuck in a tree?  
TW: yes…  
tropicalWaterfall [TW] uploaded file "trees.jpg".  
TW: and this is what remains of the six trees between it and where it was standing when Psyduck used Water Gun.  
CS: My word.

* * *

CS: …   
CS: In retrospect, standing some distance behind Psyduck’s opponent was probably the wrong place to be.   
CS: I’m just lucky that the bushes around the tree obscured me from view.   
TM: I think you need to take a few steps back, both metaphorically and physically.   
TM: You’re allowing yourself to get closer and closer each time.   
CS: Yes, I…   
CS: You’re right.   
TM: Would only Entei not be melting all the ice around him, I’d be giving you a break.   
CS: Not Raikou?   
TM: …   
TM: When we can get Raikou to do what he’s told without complaining all the time…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to skip this one, but it had Psyduck content. Poor Suicune.
> 
> Considering she’s a Water-type gym leader, Misty shows a lot of interest in catching Pokémon that aren’t Water-type. Jigglypuff before, and Farfetch’d here. The only reason she *doesn’t* go through with it in this episode is that Farfetch’d is actually another trainer’s Pokémon.
> 
> Really, Latias couldn’t have come in at a worse time, right at the start of a bunch of low-impact filler episodes.


	70. Episode 65 (Bulbasaur's Mysterious Garden)

PIKACHU: Hey.  
PIKACHU: What was that about?  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: Nothing.  
PIKACHU: Don’t ‘nothing’ me.  
BULBASAUR: It’s none of your business.  
BULBASAUR: Just leave me alone.  
PIKACHU: Is this a… thing Bulbasaur do?  
PIKACHU: Get all moody before evolving?  
BULBASAUR: I’m not about to evolve!  
PIKACHU: But Nurse Joy said that—  
BULBASAUR: I don’t care what Nurse Joy said!  
BULBASAUR: And I don’t care what Ash said either.  
BULBASAUR: This is just a thing.  
BULBASAUR: It’ll pass.  
BULBASAUR: So go away.  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: It’s not that you’re not going to.  
PIKACHU: You don’t *want* to.  
BULBASAUR: I told you to go away!  
PIKACHU: What, you think I don’t know how that feels?  
PIKACHU: Meeting Surge’s Raichu put me off evolving for the rest of my life!  
BULBASAUR: Like you know for sure that Ash isn’t going to evolve you anyway when he needs you to.  
PIKACHU: He won’t!  
BULBASAUR: Sure.  
PIKACHU: Bulbasaur, you…  
PIKACHU: Right, that’s it.  
PIKACHU: Stay there. I’ll be back in a minute. I’m getting Eevee.

* * *

BULBASAUR: What happened to ‘minute’?  
PIKACHU: Look right, all of Ash’s Pokéballs look the same and Professor Oak cleans them so they don’t retain scents!  
PIKACHU: Anyway!  
PIKACHU: Eevee.  
EEVEE: Yep?  
PIKACHU: Bulbasaur doesn’t want to evolve.  
EEVEE: Oh, why not?  
EEVEE: When you evolve, you get bigger and stronger!  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: *sigh*  
BULBASAUR: Because I like being me.  
EEVEE: Huh?  
EEVEE: I don’t get it.  
EEVEE: You’d still be you.  
EEVEE: Why wouldn’t you be?  
BULBASAUR: I didn’t expect you’d understand.  
BULBASAUR: I like being a Bulbasaur.  
BULBASAUR: Back before Ash came along I didn’t have to worry about anything like evolving.  
BULBASAUR: I just protected the village and that was that.  
BULBASAUR: At least once a week I’d have to scare someone off.  
BULBASAUR: They all wanted the same thing.  
BULBASAUR: Battle, capture, evolve.  
BULBASAUR: This is why I don’t like humans.  
BULBASAUR: They just don’t care.  
BULBASAUR: This time tomorrow I’m probably going to be an Ivysaur and I’m going to hate myself.  
BULBASAUR: If I’m even still ‘me’.  
EEVEE: …  
EEVEE: Okay, so…  
EEVEE: Don’t do it?  
BULBASAUR: Ha!  
BULBASAUR: As if I’ve got a choice.  
BULBASAUR: Me, you, Pikachu, it’s just a matter of time until Ash decides he needs us to evolve.  
PIKACHU: Bulbasaur, have been listening at *all* to Ash?!  
BULBASAUR: Not really, no.  
PIKACHU: I saw your battle at the Fairy Gym! You're telling me Ash contributed *nothing* to that?  
BULBASAUR: Pretty much.  
EEVEE: …  
EEVEE: Bulbasaur…  
EEVEE: Ash isn’t like that.  
EEVEE: I was worried too!  
EEVEE: I didn’t know what I wanted to evolve into.  
EEVEE: I still don’t!  
EEVEE: But I really don’t want to evolve into a Vaporeon.  
EEVEE: I… kinda don’t like getting wet.  
EEVEE: Then there was this thing, uh…  
EEVEE: It was just before we met you.  
EEVEE: Somebody asked Ash what he was going to evolve me into.  
BULBASAUR: And?  
EEVEE: And Ash got really mad at them!  
PIKACHU: He basically exploded.  
EEVEE: He said that no, he hadn’t decided.  
EEVEE: Because it wasn’t up to him.  
EEVEE: It was up to me.  
PIKACHU: He did it again when we met some brothers with Eevee evolutions, a little while ago, but I think you were at Oak’s that time.  
EEVEE: Yep!  
EEVEE: So those trainers had a Flareon, a Vaporeon, and a Jolteon.  
EEVEE: And they had really weird hair for some reason.  
EEVEE: They really wanted their kid brother to evolve his Eevee using a stone to win battles.  
BULBASAUR: So?  
PIKACHU: So, the kid wasn’t a battler.  
PIKACHU: Which I mean, you know, fair enough, not everyone does.  
EEVEE: And that Eevee really wanted to be a Sylveon anyway!  
EEVEE: But again Ash blew up!  
EEVEE: He said that they weren’t considering their brother *or* his Eevee’s feelings.  
BULBASAUR: He really said that?  
EEVEE: Yeah!  
EEVEE: He said…  
EEVEE: ‘I’ll support Eevee whatever he chooses, because he’s my friend.’  
PIKACHU: Bottom line, Ash respects us, and that includes you, even if you don’t respect him.  
EEVEE: So I’ll evolve when I want to.  
EEVEE: Into what I want to.  
EEVEE: Really, I don’t want to be an Eevee my whole life.  
EEVEE: I do want to evolve eventually!  
EEVEE: But if you want to keep being a Bulbasaur, just do it!  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: …maybe I—  
PIKACHU: What the  
EEVEE: Bulbasaur!  
PIKACHU: Hey! Come back with our friend!  
PIKACHU: Eevee! Go wake Ash up! I’ll follow them!

* * *

PIKACHU: Well?  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: Okay, you were right.  
EEVEE: It was pretty cool that they could keep a garden like that going in winter!  
EEVEE: I didn’t realize just how cold it is out here!  
BULBASAUR: You’ve got fur.  
EEVEE: …  
BULBASAUR: Gah!  
BULBASAUR: Get off!  
EEVEE: Wow, you’re cold too!  
PIKACHU: None of us are going to think anything less of you for choosing not to evolve.  
PIKACHU: *Especially* not me.  
PIKACHU: And definitely not Ash.  
BULBASAUR: Eevee, if you don’t get off, I *will* use Solar Beam again.  
EEVEE: Aw, okay.  
PIKACHU: Really, I think you proved our point better than Ash did.  
BULBASAUR: What?  
PIKACHU: That you don’t have to evolve to be strong.  
PIKACHU: I mean, look at me.  
PIKACHU: I beat a legendary in a fight.  
PIKACHU: I know you were aware of it in your ball.  
PIKACHU: You saved that Venusaur and those Ivysaur by yourself.  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: I did?  
EEVEE: Yeah!  
EEVEE: I mean, I can’t really attack anything that’s a long way away.  
EEVEE: Swift would have just hit the bag.  
PIKACHU: Same deal here.  
PIKACHU: My electric attacks would just shock the bag too, I don’t think it was insulated.  
PIKACHU: The last thing I wanted to do was make their job easier for them by knocking all of their captures out.  
PIKACHU: Didn’t you notice?  
BULBASAUR: I was trying too hard not to evolve.  
BULBASAUR: And…  
BULBASAUR: Suddenly I heard Ash telling me to use Solar Beam.  
BULBASAUR: I didn’t even think I knew it.  
PIKACHU: Says the guy who knows Whirlwind.  
BULBASAUR: Shut up.  
EEVEE: Wellllll?  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: Okay, you got me.  
BULBASAUR: I guess not all humans are bad.  
EEVEE: Yessss!  
BULBASAUR: That doesn’t mean I do hugs! Get off!

* * *

DD: nice one there ash.  
DD: another victory for evolution choice!  
UT: thanks, mew.  
DD: ngl that was pretty mean of them and if you hadn’t made up i would’ve probably flown in and shouted at them.  
DD: wouldn’t have pegged your bulbasaur as a non-evolver, but hey!  
DD: we all get surprised sometimes!  
UT: can pokémon do that sometimes?  
UT: hold back evolution?  
DD: rare, but yeah it happens.  
DD: thing is they’ve got to send that energy *somewhere*.  
UT: i guess bulbasaur’s was that solar beam.  
DD: yep.  
DD: not saying it’s not gonna happen again in the future, but he should know how to deal with it now.

* * *

TN: what do you mean, i missed it???  
[MOD] DD: dunno what to tell you, latias.  
[MOD] DD: there was a thing, and you weren’t here.  
TN: aaaaaaaargh!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The previous episodes that talk about Ash’s stance on evolution were all done from the chat perspective. Bulbasaur’s needed in-person perspective, especially because of his attitude towards humans, which I think is drifting away now. That's not to say he's going to stop being the grump of the group. Doing the episode this way also was a big help in figuring out Eevee's character, especially as Eevee has the opposite problem to Bulbasaur - he *wants* to evolve but can't decide into what yet.
> 
> In canon this takes place after Togepi hatches, but I’ve moved it up before so she doesn’t get in the way. Having this episode take place in winter also puts more emphasis on how the location of the episode really is a mysterious garden.
> 
> Latias was asleep. This was basically a night-time adventure, after all.


	71. Episode 66 (Who Gets to Keep Togepi?)

[MOD] TM: Oh?  
[MOD] TM: Has she finally given up?  
NT: For the moment she seems to understand that things are going to happen whether she’s there for them or not.  
NT: She’s having one of her legendary infinite showers.  
DN: At the very least, she’s not here.  
DN: Which means that we’re treated to some hours that aren’t punctuated by constant whining.  
DN: Is anything interesting going on, Mew?  
[MOD] DD: eh, not really.  
[MOD] DD: ash got a pokédex upgrade for something or other and they’re talking about e g g.  
DN: Egg?  
[MOD] TM: Ash found a Pokémon egg a while ago, a couple of days after coming down off Mt. Tensei.  
[MOD] TM: Sorrel has been looking after it.  
DN: That’s interesting.  
DN: Do we know what kind of Pokémon will hatch?  
[MOD] DD: probably, but ash didn’t want spoilers.  
[MOD] DD: celebi definitely does.  
DN: Fair enough.  
DN: Because this is Ash, I assume it wasn’t obtained through dubious means.  
[MOD] DD: nah, it just turned up.  
[MOD] DD: i had a look afterwards and i couldn’t even find any signs of a nest so  
NT: Abandoned?  
[MOD] DD: maybe.  
[MOD] DD: …  
[MOD] DD: oh ffs team rocket!

* * *

[MOD] DD: oh shit i think the heat from the growlithe just triggered the hatch!  
DN: Really? Now?!  
DN: Of all the inopportune moments!  
NT: If history tells us anything this hatchling will be a pain in the ass.  
NT: Did you say Celebi was going to turn up?  
[MOD] DD: @outtatime  
past outtaTime [POT] 10 DAYS AGO responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
POT: —i arrive in the future!  
POT: and here i am!  
[MOD] DD: and there’s the  
[MOD] DD: yep, i was right. togepi.  
DN: Togepi…  
DN: That’s…  
DN: A very, very long way from home.  
DN: I don’t think Togepi have been native to Kanto for hundreds of years.  
POT: p much.  
[MOD] DD: well, ash *did* find the egg near a bunch of fossils…  
DN: Ridiculous.  
DN: It is not a centuries-old egg.  
POT: gotta back moltres up on this one.  
DN: That’s a first.  
POT: i checked when i heard about it, the egg’s definitely modern.  
POT: never could track down the parents though.  
NT: Sounds familiar…  
POT: ouch sorry latios didn’t know you were in here :/  
NT: It’s no problem, Celebi.  
[MOD] TM: Thank you for trying anyway, Celebi.  
[MOD] TM: I suppose that means this little one will be adopted.  
POT: yeah, misty does it.  
POT: togepi’s kinda imprinted on her.  
[MOD] DD: oh yep, yep, i see that now.  
[MOD] TM: Please tell me their first word was something innocuous.  
[MOD] DD: beats me, i can’t hear what’s going on.  
DN: Well, that’s not unheard of at least.  
POT: there’s about to be a pretty epic tournament for her that doesn’t mean a thing in the end, though!  
NT: …  
NT: She’s going to kill me if I don’t. @tenaciousNova  
tenaciousNova [TN] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TN: what now?!  
TN: can’t a girl have her ablutions in peace?!  
NT: See above.  
TN: …  
TN: finally!  
TN: lemme just finish up!  
tenaciousNova [TN] fled the memo.  
DN: Did you have to, Latios?  
tenaciousNova [TN] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TN: i heard that!  
tenaciousNova [TN] fled the memo.  
NT: If she’s occupied here, she’s not using up the entirety of Alto Mare’s hot water supply.  
[MOD] DD: i’ll check if hoopa’s out of timeout yet.  
POT: he must be, ‘cause i remember watching the stream archive!  
past outtaTime 2 [POT2] 12 DAYS AGO responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
[MOD] TM: Celebi, what are you doing?  
POT: oh, forgot i did this.  
POT2: sorry!  
POT2: the stuff’s going on on mt tensei at the moment and i needed to make sure i wasn’t in a bad future or something.  
POT2: this is the first anchor i could find.  
POT2: ash is still alive, right?  
DN: He is.  
POT2: thank fuck!  
POT2: ho-oh, why didn’t you ever show up to help?!  
[MOD] TM: I’ve already discussed that with both you and Dialga.  
POT: can confirm.  
POT2: shit. okay.  
POT: panic over!  
POT2: who was panicking?  
POT: well i was, clearly!  
DN: Celebi, please stop…  
POT2: okay, okay, fine.  
POT2: i geniunely really was worried for a couple of minutes!  
past outtaTime 2 [POT2] fainted.  
POT: and there she goes.  
[MOD] TM: Why did you faint?  
POT: beats me.  
POT: stress probably!  
DN: …  
DN: Out of pure interest, Celebi, DON’T SPOIL ANYTHING, but how many stream archives *have* you watched that have yet to happen?  
POT: eh, not that many really.  
POT: mt tensei, this one, couple things in the place ash goes after the league.  
POT: tried to watch ash’s league challenge but the boss blocked me from watching them at that point.  
POT: told me i’d already watched them real-time.  
[MOD] DD: got him!  
oddityOdyssey [OO] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
OO: hoopa is back on the air!  
OO: broadcastin live from dahara  
OO: so sit back  
OO: shut up  
oddityOdyssey [OO] is now streaming!  
OO: and lets get this show on the road  
NT: …  
NT: Why are you a radio DJ now?  
OO: hoopa got bored and borrowed a radio from a tourist  
OO: it was stuck to a galarian station  
OO: stuff happened  
POT: those galarian radio dj’s are gonna get you!  
POT: was it gbc radio 2?  
DN: I hardly think what radio station Hoopa’s now a fan of is relevant.  
[MOD] DD: yeah shut up they’re getting things started!  
OO: nah its some guy called hawthorne  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: I think we need to have a word with Ash about this.  
[MOD] TM: Competing for ownership rights over a hatchling is a bit…  
tenaciousNova [TN] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TN: fuck yes!  
TN: let’s do this!  
NT: Not concerned that Ash isn’t going to win it?  
TN: something like this?  
TN: what, you think i want him tied down looking after a baby?  
TN: …  
[MOD] DD: …  
DN: …  
[MOD] TM: …  
NT: …  
POT: …  
OO: …  
[MOD] DD: we all just pictured ash trying to raise a kid, didn’t we.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> E G G .


	72. Pikasode 1 (Kanga Games)

PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: …!  
PIKACHU: Guys! It’s been snowing!  
PIKACHU: And it’s not a blizzard like last time!  
PIKACHU: Come on!  
EEVEE: Woohoo!  
VULPIX: Hey, wait for me!  
SQUIRTLE: I’m gonna build a snowmon  
JUNIOR: not if i build a bigger one first!  
SQUIRTLE: Oh you’re so on  
LUCARIO: Don’t be so reckless!  
PSYDUCK:  
BULBASAUR: I hate snow.  
KANGASKHAN: You can stay inside and keep Charizard and Zubat company then.  
BULBASAUR: They’re in their Pokéballs.  
KANGASKHAN: So?  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: Eh.  
KANGASKHAN: I’m sure they’d appreciate not being l  
TOGEPI: ^O^!!!!!!!!  
KANGASKHAN: Ah! Togepi! Wait!  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: Litwick?  
LITWICK: yes, bulbasaur-san?  
BULBASAUR: Don’t call me that.  
BULBASAUR: I’m going back inside to stay in the warm with all of the sensible people.  
BULBASAUR: Don’t go anywhere near Togepi.  
LITWICK: of course, bulbasaur-san.  
LITWICK: if you don’t mind my saying so…  
BULBASAUR: What?  
LITWICK: it occurs you just implied that our trainer is sensible.  
BULBASAUR: …

* * *

EEVEE: Wait, where did Vulpix go?  
EEVEE: I thought she’d be surrounded by a puddle of water!  
EEVEE: AAAARGH  
VULPIX: Gotcha.  
EEVEE: How did you do that?!  
VULPIX: For your information, just because I’m a Fire-type doesn’t mean I go around melting everything.  
VULPIX: I happen to like the snow.  
EEVEE: Yeah, you’ve got it all over you!  
GEODUDE: She’s only doin’ it ‘cuz she knows Brock’s gonna have to brush it all out of her fur later.  
VULPIX: Malicious slander.  
GEODUDE: It’s true tho.  
VULPIX: Obviously.  
VULPIX: From the look you’re giving me I can tell you don’t know what he means.  
VULPIX: So, Eevee, consider this lesson one in ‘How to manipulate your trainer to make them make you feel good’.  
VULPIX: Now help me find a *really* deep snowdrift.

* * *

LUCARIO: We’re fortunate to have you.  
KANGASKHAN: Thank you, Lucario.  
TOGEPI: 0.0?  
KANGASKHAN: Yes, it’s cold!  
KANGASKHAN: Not too cold, are you?  
TOGEPI: ^u^!  
KANGASKHAN: Hooray!  
KANGASKHAN: I… I heard that story about your partner’s Luxray.  
KANGASKHAN: It explains why you keep nervously looking at the sky in case the weather changes.  
LUCARIO: You noticed that?  
KANGASKHAN: I’m a mother, I notice *everything*.  
LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: …Yes.  
LUCARIO: Snowy weather always puts myself and Sorrel on edge.  
LUCARIO: Fortunately it seems Kanto winters aren’t as extreme as those in Sinnoh.  
KANGASKHAN: No no no, sweetie, don’t eat it.  
LUCARIO: Though… I heard about what happened before you met up with us.  
KANGASKHAN: Yes, we were fortunate not to lose Ash.  
KANGASKHAN: Had it not been for Charmeleon, well…  
KANGASKHAN: Dwelling on the past is never a good idea.  
KANGASKHAN: Go on! Enjoy yourself.  
KANGASKHAN: I can handle this little lady.  
TOGEPI: ^O^!  
LUCARIO: I’d rather keep you company, if you don’t mind.  
LUCARIO: Togepi is the most vulnerable one here.  
KANGASKHAN: Of course I don’t mind.

* * *

SQUIRTLE: And three, two, one  
SQUIRTLE: …  
SQUIRTLE: Hacks  
JUNIOR: what are hacks  
SQUIRTLE: Nevermind  
SQUIRTLE: How did you get so good at snowmon making  
JUNIOR: everyone in the herd made them last winter  
JUNIOR: we made a competition of it  
JUNIOR: i won!  
SQUIRTLE: Well grats  
SQUIRTLE: Now give me some tips, you’re making me look bad  
SQUIRTLE: Can’t have that  
JUNIOR: which one’s yours  
SQUIRTLE: Obviously it’s th  
SQUIRTLE: Uh  
SQUIRTLE: When did you get here and when did you make that  
MEW: i’ve been here a while!  
MEW: like it?  
JUNIOR: who are you  
MEW: i’m mew!  
JUNIOR: no you’re not me  
MEW: …  
MEW: …i worded that super badly, didn’t i?  
MEW: my name is mew.  
MEW: m-e-w.  
MEW: meeeeeew.  
MEW: but i could be you if i wanted to!  
JUNIOR?: see?  
JUNIOR: whoa  
SQUIRTLE: So kid  
SQUIRTLE: This is a legendary  
JUNIOR: wait you are???  
JUNIOR: cool!  
MEW: that’s me!  
MEW: i saw you were having all this fun in the snow and i couldn’t help but join in!  
SQUIRTLE: Is that a snow-Raikou  
MEW: it’s raikou, yes!  
MEW: impressive, i know.  
SQUIRTLE: Okay now I’m really losing this competition  
SQUIRTLE: Time to up my game

* * *

CS: …that is very impressive, Mew.  
DD: thank  
CS: …  
DD: …  
CS: Pfft.  
CS: So, how long until he thaws out?  
DD: eh, i give it a few hours.  
CS: He’s going to be so mad at you.  
DD: nah, this is just me getting even for him spamming me with hate a while ago.  
DD: your dad asked me to hold on to the key for your place for him.  
CS: Ah, I did wonder.

* * *

PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: I don’t know why she’s here but if I ask she’s just going to frustrate me even more.  
PSYDUCK:  
PIKACHU: It’s not like I *need* another stalker.  
PIKACHU: I get enough of that with Team Rocket.  
PIKACHU: You haven’t seen them anywhere today, have you?  
PSYDUCK:  
PSYDUCK: ?  
PIKACHU: Wasn’t talking to you, Psyduck.  
PIKACHU: I know you’re down there.  
MARSHADOW: how  
PIKACHU: Litwick told me.  
MARSHADOW: litwick  
MARSHADOW: she hasnt moved from the doorway  
PIKACHU: Misty was right.  
PIKACHU: Ash is just a legendary magnet.  
PIKACHU: There’s two of you here just for *no reason*.  
MARSHADOW: …  
MARSHADOW: shouldnt you be playing with your friends or something  
PIKACHU: I’m saving my energy for the inevitable snowball fight.  
PIKACHU: And making sure Psyduck ends up on my side.  
PSYDUCK:  
PIKACHU: Put it this way, Psyduck - I wouldn’t want you to be on the *other* team.  
PSYDUCK:  
PIKACHU: You’re welcome.  
MARSHADOW: …  
MARSHADOW: four  
PIKACHU: What?  
MARSHADOW: theres four legendaries here  
PIKACHU: …what.  
PIKACHU: I don’t see…  
PIKACHU: Okay, I see you and I see that cat, but unless you’re counting that snow-Raikou, then  
PIKACHU: Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.  
PIKACHU: That’s ridiculous.  
PIKACHU: Go on then, where’s the fourth one?  
MARSHADOW: suicunes in those woods over there  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: It’s a pity Sorrel isn’t paying attention.  
PIKACHU: He’d be having a field day.  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: How did it come to this?  
PIKACHU: Having a freaking casual conversation with a legendary Pokémon.  
PIKACHU: *Again!*  
PIKACHU: How is this my life.  
MARSHADOW: ash  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: I hate that that’s the right answer.  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: …I cannot  
PIKACHU: *believe*  
PIKACHU: That I’m about to ask this, but…  
PIKACHU: Marshadow.  
MARSHADOW: what  
PIKACHU: Do you want to be on my team?  
MARSHADOW:  
MARSHADOW: team  
MARSHADOW: for what  
PIKACHU: The snowball fight.  
PIKACHU: …huh, that was weirdly easier than I expected it to be.  
PIKACHU: …are you okay?  
MARSHADOW:  
MARSHADOW: nobodys ever  
MARSHADOW: i  
MARSHADOW: are you sure  
MARSHADOW: even after i  
PIKACHU: Okay stop.  
PIKACHU: I’ve had some time to think about it.  
PIKACHU: You’re a completely different Pokémon from the one that attacked us on the mountain.  
PIKACHU: I don’t know what it was, but the Pokémon I was fighting?  
PIKACHU: It wasn’t you.  
PIKACHU: If you wanted, you could have done something to us a long time ago, but you didn’t.  
PIKACHU: You helped out even though you didn’t have to.  
PIKACHU: So…  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: Hi, Marshadow. I’m Pikachu. Want to be friends?  
MARSHADOW: …  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: It’s called a pawshake.  
PIKACHU: You just take my paw in your hand and move it up and down a bit.  
PIKACHU: That was even easier, what is *wrong* with me…  
MARSHADOW: …  
MARSHADOW: youre just like him  
PIKACHU: Like who?  
MARSHADOW: like—  
PSYDUCK: !  
PIKACHU: Okay, who threw that?!  
PIKACHU: Junior! Was that you?!  
MARSHADOW: what  
MARSHADOW: what was  
PIKACHU: That was the first shot of the snowball fight.  
PIKACHU: I think she was aiming for me. Sorry about that.  
MARSHADOW: i  
PIKACHU: …  
PIKACHU: Here.  
PIKACHU: You can have our team’s first shot.

* * *

BULBASAUR: Are they not done yet? How much can they squeeze out of  
BULBASAUR: What.  
LITWICK: oh, bulbasaur-san.  
BULBASAUR: That’s… Mew over there.  
LITWICK: yes.  
BULBASAUR: And that guy who attacked Ash on the mountain.  
LITWICK: marshadow-sama, yes.  
BULBASAUR: And they’re having a snowball fight.  
LITWICK: yes.  
BULBASAUR: …  
BULBASAUR: I’m going to go back inside and pretend I didn’t see any of that.

* * *

DS: no we made it back before it got *really* cold  
UB: That’s good to hear.  
DS: but still  
doodleStarly [DS] uploaded file "snow.jpg".  
TW: he looks like he's enjoying himself!  
DS: yeah!  
DS: howre your pokémon doing  
ultimateTrainer [UT] uploaded file "kangagames.jpg".  
DS: aww!  
DS: whose is the togepi  
TW: she’s mine.  
UT: misty’s kind of her mom.  
DS: uh  
DS: how  
MW: We think she imprinted.  
DS: i dont know what that means  
UB: Essentially, Misty was the first thing she saw after hatching, so she thinks that Misty’s her mother.  
DS: oh that makes sense  
TW: i trust kangaskhan to take care of her though, she… kinda does have the experience.  
MW: And Lucario is there, so if anything happens, she’ll let us know.  
DS: shes cute  
DS: i guess shes kinda got some cool aunts!

* * *

LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: Kangaskhan.  
KANGASKHAN: Yes?  
LUCARIO: I believe most of those snowballs are coming from the mythical Pokémon who appeared on Mt. Tensei.  
KANGASKHAN: Is anyone getting hurt?  
LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: It doesn’t appear so.  
LUCARIO: Nothing beyond what you’d expect from a snowball fight.  
KANGASKHAN: Then everything’s fine.  
LUCARIO: …Your daughter appears to have made friends with a different mythical Pokémon.  
KANGASKHAN: …  
KANGASKHAN: Hm.  
KANGASKHAN: They’re enjoying themselves, so I don’t think we need to do anything about it.  
KANGASKHAN: Shall we see what they’re up to, Togepi?  
TOGEPI: ^o^!  
LUCARIO: In fact, I believe that’s the one Sorrel recently described as ‘extinct’.  
KANGASKHAN: In which case he appears to be misinformed.  
LUCARIO: We’re too calm about this.  
KANGASKHAN: We are.

* * *

UT: help zygarde!  
UT: help me change the subject!  
NN: zZz What zZz  
NN: zZz Why zZz  
UT: because the rest of our pokémon are having a snowball fight and mew and marshadow are joining in and i don’t want the others to see!  
NN: zZz Oh zZz  
NN: zZz Uh zZz

* * *

[MOD] NN: zZz Theres not currently any snow here in Kalos zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz It usually comes a bit later zZz  
DS: do your pokémon like playing in the snow  
[MOD] NN: zZz Uh zZZ  
[MOD] NN: zZz I dont actually have any zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz As such zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz And if Im honest zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz I dont like snow zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz Its too cold zZz  
UT: i don’t blame you for wanting to stay wrapped up warm!  
[MOD] NN: zZz Thats zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz Yes zZz

* * *

PIKACHU: Kangaskhan?  
KANGASKHAN: Hm?  
PIKACHU: Next time you find sleds, can you find a hill that *doesn’t* have a lake at the bottom of it?  
KANGASKHAN: If you’ll recall, I picked the other side of the hill.  
PIKACHU: Wait, you did.  
PIKACHU: That means  
PIKACHU: Squirtle!  
PIKACHU: SQUIRTLE!  
JUNIOR: that was really fun  
TOGEPI: ^O^!  
MEW: yeah!  
MEW: you sure know how to put a day together!  
MEW: i haven’t had a day like this in  
MEW: uh  
MEW: carry the three…  
MEW: actually this was more fun than driving the giant blastoise!  
KANGASKHAN: Well… thank you.  
KANGASKHAN: High praise coming from a legendary.  
MEW: aw, think nothing of it.  
MEW: i’m a cat, aren’t i?  
MEW: i exist to have fun!  
MEW: and ruin curtains.  
PSYDUCK:  
MEW: got it in one, psyduck.  
JUNIOR: but  
JUNIOR: he didn’t say anything  
TOGEPI: o.o?  
MEW: hi there!  
MEW: you’re a lil’ cutie, aren’t you?  
MEW: yes you are!  
TOGEPI: ^o^!  
MEW: are you going to behave yourself for misty?  
TOGEPI: ^u^!  
KANGASKHAN: …  
JUNIOR: um…  
MEW: what?  
KANGASKHAN: How did you know that Togepi belonged to somebody named Misty?  
MEW: whoops!  
MEW: i think that’s my cue!  
KANGASKHAN: …  
KANGASKHAN: …she teleported away…  
KANGASKHAN: …  
JUNIOR: how do you think she knew?  
KANGASKHAN: …I don’t know.  
KANGASKHAN: I think we’ll be seeing her again, however.

* * *

EEVEE: This is why I hate the water…  
VULPIX: Look on the bright side.  
EEVEE: What?  
VULPIX: Brock’s pretty much guaranteed to make Ash brush all of your fur now.  
EEVEE: …  
EEVEE: Huh.  
ONIX: ARE YOU DONE YET  
VULPIX: No, I’m still drying them off.  
PIKACHU: …totally unbelievable.  
PIKACHU: Are you guys doing okay?  
EEVEE: We’re doing wet…  
PIKACHU: Marshadow?  
MARSHADOW: …  
MARSHADOW: yes  
MARSHADOW: im fine  
MARSHADOW: im a ghost the cold doesnt bother me  
PIKACHU: Squirtle wants to apologize for directing your sled into the lake.  
GEODUDE: Did he actually say that?  
VULPIX: My guess is ‘no’.  
PIKACHU: Well, no.  
PIKACHU: He regrets that nobody used Ice Beam or something.  
PIKACHU: I didn’t think anyone here knew it.  
MARSHADOW: mew knows ice beam  
PIKACHU: …  
EEVEE: Oh!  
EEVEE: She did say that!  
PIKACHU: For goodness’ sake!  
MARSHADOW: pikachu  
PIKACHU: What?  
MARSHADOW:  
MARSHADOW:  
MARSHADOW: thanks  
PIKACHU: For getting you involved, or for fishing you out of the lake?

* * *

DD: enjoy yourself?  
SS:  
SS:  
SS: yes  
DD: you really got the spirit of the snowball fight fast!  
DD: i thought i was gonna have to tell you to tone it down a bit but you were great!  
DD: you look right at home draped over onix with eevee!  
DD: so how's it feeling, being included?  
SS: wet  
SS: why didnt you use ice beam  
DD: …  
DD: you know, that’s a really good question…

* * *

LUCARIO: Really?  
LUCARIO: None of them noticed what’s been going on?  
LITWICK: not to my knowledge, lucario-san.  
LITWICK: despite bulbasaur-san’s best efforts to the otherwise.  
LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: When I was young, I encountered a Pokémon I’d never heard of before.  
LUCARIO: It wasn’t until I met Sorrel, and he began his research, that I found out it was Dialga.  
LUCARIO: It was only a fleeting glimpse, but the memory sticks with me.  
LUCARIO: I thought - at least until Sorrel found Articuno - that he would be the only legendary I ever saw.  
LUCARIO: Now…  
LUCARIO: I think Ash is more special than he realizes.  
LITWICK: i wouldn’t expect anything less from one protected by darkrai-sensei.  
LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: What?  
LUCARIO: Darkrai?  
LITWICK: when i first met ash-sama, he was in the company of marshadow-sama and darkrai-sensei.  
LUCARIO: …This would have been in Lavender Town?  
LITWICK: i believe that is what the humans call the settlement, yes.  
LUCARIO: That was months ago.  
LUCARIO: Are you saying Ash has *spoken* to Darkrai?  
LUCARIO: And he was aware of Marshadow’s presence even then?  
LITWICK: that is how i understand the situation.  
LITWICK: moreover, ash-sama appeared to be familiar with darkrai-sensei.  
LITWICK: though i should clarify not on a level that implied ash-sama was previously at risk of expiring.  
LITWICK: ash-sama was surprised to see both of them, but showed no confusion as to who they were.  
LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: Mew, Marshadow, Darkrai, Ho-oh, and the three beasts of Ecruteak.  
LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: Perhaps it is for the best that Sorrel doesn’t find out about this, at least for the moment.  
LUCARIO: Or any of the others for that matter.  
LITWICK: i agree wholeheartedly.  
LITWICK: ash-sama is more than a ‘legendary magnet’, as misty-san puts it.  
LITWICK: to the extent this runs i couldn’t say.  
LITWICK: they must surely have their own reasons for appearing.  
LITWICK: ‘this boy is protected’. that is what darkrai-sensei said.  
LUCARIO: Are they really showing up to watch over Ash, even after his ascent to battle Ho-oh?  
LUCARIO: That would imply his task is somehow not yet complete.  
LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: I should have done this earlier, but maybe if I took a look at Ash’s aura…  
LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: …!  
LITWICK: what is it?  
LUCARIO: …I don’t know.  
LUCARIO: It’s different from any other aura I’ve examined, and I don’t know how.  
LUCARIO: It’s almost as if…  
BULBASAUR: Guys, food’s ready.  
LUCARIO: …  
LUCARIO: No, that’s just ridiculous.  
LUCARIO: I’ll go and let the others know, Bulbasaur. Thank you.  
LITWICK: …  
LITWICK: i wonder what she saw.

* * *

[MOD] TM: You WHAT?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the episode guide I listed this as a minisode. It’s actually longer than some previous regular episodes. Whoops. Anyway, have some heartwarming.
> 
> This is actually Pikachu Special No. 3, which I’ve shoved in here because it’s winter time, and it features Kangaskhan, which of course Ash has now. It was aired in Japan for Christmas 1998, and over here in the West is part of Pikachu’s Winter Vacation, which went straight to VHS and later became part of Pokémon Chronicles. While the movies will quite happily fit in between the episodes they actually premiered between, with a little bit of tweaking, this one couldn’t, because Ash was in the middle of the Indigo Conference at the time.
> 
> Pikaspecial No. 1 is Pikachu’s Vacation, the short associated with the first movie, which is going to happen a little bit later (you can see it in the episode guide). Pikaspecial No. 2 won’t be happening, because it was specifically Christmas, and I don’t want to deal with the hassle of real-world holidays and pinning down dates and stuff. Just the one winter minisode is fine. All I really needed was an excuse for everybody to be silly in the snow anyway. Plus, Pikasodes in canon are usually the ones where Pikachu has an adventure behind Ash’s back, so why not?
> 
> I’ve got Litwick characterized as this sort of Pokémon who’s excessively polite and cheerful to the point of being really creepy, which if you ask me is the whole point of Ghost-types, with a casual overuse (and probably butchering) of Japanese honorifics thrown in. Plus some added characterization to a few of the canon Pokémon - Vulpix is playfully manipulative of Brock, Psyduck is the guy who never says anything but people seem to understand what he means anyway, and Togepi is A Cute. ^O^! Then there are Kangaskhan and Lucario being the adults in the situation, Bulbasaur who wants nothing to do with this craziness, and Pikachu who gets stuck in the middle.
> 
> But as you can see, there is a reason Ash and Pikachu mesh so well.
> 
> Coincidentally, the place where I live has just had its first (and probably only) serious snowfall of the winter.


	73. Episode 67 (Snap!)

[MOD] DD: ok, checked it out.  
[MOD] DD: and it is good news, everyone!  
[MOD] DD: you can’t see either me or marsh or suicune in any of the photos.  
CS: Oh *good*.  
CS: The last thing I need is photographs going round.  
SG: I don’t know, as a group the Swords think publicity is quite useful.  
SG: There are whole sections of Unova in which interfering with us doing our duty is a criminal offense.  
OG: Sounds neat  
OG: Hey Lugia why can’t we get that  
[MOD] BB: Really, Articuno?  
[MOD] BB: You’re going there?  
OG: Honest question  
[MOD] BB: Honest response.  
[MOD] BB: When you and your siblings team up and start travelling around the Orange Islands to help the native Pokémon without ruining their day.  
TT: i dunno bro  
TT: sounds like work to me  
[MOD] BB: And for the record, how long did it take the Swords to get that level of respect from humans?  
SG: Oh, a few hundred years at least.  
OG: Crap  
[MOD] BB: You’ve got the Shamouti Island prophecy and you can live with it.  
NT: Somehow despite everything we’re still considered protected species on Alto Mare too.  
TN: what do you mean, despite everything?  
NT: We do call it the Alto Mare Crisis for a *reason*, Latias.  
NT: And everybody knows you started it.  
TN: it was a slow day.  
TN: didn’t really go the way i hoped, but it was still fun.  
NT: Still f  
NT: Stars, Latias. Have you forgotten how that ended??  
TN: i know!  
TN: still waiting for arceus to turn around and tell us we can actually stretch our wings and get up to speed for once.  
NT: You have forgotten.  
NT: You are  
NT:  
nestedTempo [NT] fled the memo.  
TN: he’s hella mad about something.  
[MOD] BB: Latias, just…  
[MOD] BB: Drop the subject.  
[MOD] BB: Please.  
TN: what, like i wanted to go there in the first place?  
TN: just because it  
TN: shit, he’s here.  
tenaciousNova [TN] fled the memo.  
TT: oof  
[MOD] BB: Thanks for that contribution, Zapdos.  
TT: i aim to please  
OG: Your aim sucks  
[MOD] DD: pffft  
TT: going to come over here and put your money where your beak is then  
OG: Nah I’m not even there  
OG: I’m gettin stuff ready for when Ash turns up at Seafoam  
SG: So it was actually true?  
SG: You have been sighted at Seafoam?  
OG: Yeah  
OG: This is my backup nest in case Ice Island gets destroyed or something  
SG: Is it a wise idea mentioning that in front of Zapdos?  
TT: nah, it’s cool  
[MOD] BB: The birds and I have an ongoing agreement.  
[MOD] BB: They each have a quiet spot which is strictly off-limits to the others.  
[MOD] BB: Somewhere where they can go just for some peace.  
OG: It’s our Leave Me The Hell Alone space  
CS: We need one of those…  
CS: We’re just left to gather in the tower.  
CS: Well, strictly speaking, Raikou does have his own, when he locks himself in the basement.  
[MOD] DD: what about a higher floor?  
CS: Every floor above the first is dangerous.  
CS: The humans have done their best to make it safe so it doesn’t collapse on anyone, but it will go under our weight.  
[MOD] DD: welp.  
[MOD] DD: no place outside the tower?  
CS: Not really.  
SG: The Swords are constantly moving from place to place, so we don’t normally stay anywhere long enough to obtain a private area.  
[MOD] DD: yeah, i feel that.  
[MOD] DD: i’ve been moving around a lot more since ash started, obviously, but i mean, i’m me.  
[MOD] DD: i can’t stay still anyway.  
[MOD] BB: I do have my own private nest besides the one on Shamouti, but I haven’t visited it in… a year, maybe?  
SG: Why’s that?  
OG: >.>  
TT: <.<  
SG: Ah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the episode name. Who else is looking forward to New Pokémon Snap? I never had an N64, so I never played the original.
> 
> Snap actually has had an effect on this story already, though not actual content-wise. The Homestuck chat client is called Pesterchum, thus when the kids talk to each other they're 'pestering their chums'. The only reason I'm still using that word? Pester Balls, which are the Snap items you throw at wild Pokémon to annoy them into doing cool things for you. It felt accurate.
> 
> There's not a lot else to say about this one.
> 
> Unfortunately I'm feeling as if I need to take another hiatus soon. As well as that work deadline which I mentioned before, I hit a *major* dead-end in an upcoming plot point I'd created a new episode for (not one listed on the episode guide) that forced me to scrap that new episode entirely, rework the end of the previous one so they didn't chain together, and shift that plot point much later in the season. The episode following that is giving me trouble as well. At this point, I think the best idea for me would be to release what I've got (episodes 68 and 70, I skipped 69), try and finish episode 71 in time and release that, and then pause until after my deadline. Then I'll have time to write episode 72, and move onward from there. Thank you for your patience - trust me, I want to keep writing it as much as you want to keep reading it - and I hope what I've got will tide you over until it returns.


	74. Episode 68 (The Ultimate Test)

TN: did he reach the gym??  
TT: no  
[MOD] NM: It Appears To Be Some Sort Of Pokémon Training School , But Not Similar To The One Ash Visited Earlier In The Year .  
DN: I’ve heard of the building, at any rate.  
DN: It used to be home to the Pokémon League Admissions Exam, which would assess trainers who were for whatever reason incapable of collecting eight gym badges.  
[MOD] BB: Incapable in what way?  
DN: Age, injury, work, that sort of thing.  
DN: In essence opening up the league to a wider range of participants.  
SW: -|===> Yeah, that makes sense.  
SW: -|===> We don’t have that sort of thing here, but then the Galar Champions League is big sport.  
SW: -|===> Anyone who couldn’t travel to the gyms wouldn’t get an endorsement.  
[MOD] BB: I noticed you used the words ‘used to’.  
DN: Yes.  
DN: It was sound in theory, but this particular location got shut down a few years ago.  
DN: There was an investigation that found that most of the people who used it were trainers who were just too lazy to travel.  
DN: And the theory portion of the exam was found to be so riddled with inaccuracies and insane logic that passing it didn’t require thinking smart, it just required getting lucky.  
DN: It’s all run out of a central building in Saffron City now, and far better regulated.  
TN: yawn.  
TT: yeah nice bit of trivia there that you’ve been dying to use for ages  
TD: There’s no need to be so rude.  
TD: I found it quite informative.  
DN: Thank you, Cresselia.  
DN: At least *someone* appreciates me.  
TT: how are you even finding out this stuff  
[MOD] BB: Zapdos, if you keep heckling Moltres while he’s trying to be helpful, I’ll ignore him heckling your television shows.  
TT: nooooo  
decibelDrama [DD] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave decibelDrama [DD] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] DD: i have my report!  
[MOD] DD: so what this place does is this.  
[MOD] DD: rando tournaments!  
SW: -|===> What?  
[MOD] NM: Explain .  
[MOD] DD: well basically  
[MOD] DD: trainers enter the tournament but they can’t use any of their own pokémon.  
[MOD] DD: they pick three random pokéballs before each match and that’s what they have to use.  
TD: Oh, I see.  
TD: So competitors are forced to think based on their general knowledge about Pokémon.  
DN: I like that idea.  
DN: There’s still an element of luck; you *could* get Pokémon you’re familiar with, or you could get ones you’ve never seen before.  
DN: Either way, you won’t have met or trained these particular Pokémon before.  
[MOD] DD: ash and misty are both competing, and they managed to press sorrel into doing it as well.  
[MOD] DD: which is gonna be very interesting!  
TN: so when’s it starting?!  
[MOD] BB: Latias, patience.  
[MOD] NM: The Only Reason The Stream Is Already Running Is That Giratina Is Busy .  
winCondition [WC] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
WC: someone mentioned luck  
TN: oh no.  
WC: thats right  
WC: its motherfucking Victini

* * *

[MOD] DD: ash and misty against each other first, big oof.  
TN: yeah even i’m a little disappointed about that.  
TN: it’s supposed to finish with the two of them in the final!  
TN: what were the chances of this?!  
TD: One in fifteen.  
TN: what?  
TD: There are sixteen competitors, and equal chance of being drawn against each of them in the first round.  
TD: Ash facing any particular opponent is always going to be one in fifteen.  
TT: showoff  
[MOD] BB: I’d imagine the chances of getting a particular Pokémon are remote, though.  
[MOD] BB: There are a lot to choose from.  
[MOD] DD: whoops, forgot to mention that.  
[MOD] DD: the pool’s limited to kanto and johto-native pokémon, and nothing that’d be too overpowered or uncontrollable.  
SW: -|===> I was going to say.  
SW: -|===> If Ash could’ve ended up with something like a Copperajah, it would’ve ended… badly.  
WC: neVer tell me the odds  
WC: i turn em into eVens  
DN: That doesn’t make any sense and I refuse to acknowledge your comments from here on.  
WC: sucks to be you then  
[MOD] DD: so first up for ash we have…  
[MOD] DD: farfetch’d!  
TN: ooh neat.  
TN: didn’t he see one of those a while ago?  
[MOD] DD: yep!  
[MOD] DD: and first up for misty…  
[MOD] DD: sandshrew!  
DN: Nothing unfamiliar, then.  
[MOD] NM: Yes , They Have Encountered Both Pokémon Before .  
[MOD] NM: So This Will Be A Test Of Their Memory .  
WC: let the games begin  
SW: -|===> Why’d you have to make that sound so sinister?!

* * *

TN: now this is what it’s all about!  
[MOD] NM: Ash 1 , Misty 0 .  
[MOD] DD: yeah…  
[MOD] DD: bad opponent for misty.  
TD: Why’s that?  
[MOD] DD: she fought the farfetch’d last time with psyduck and won.  
TD: Oh, I see. She was subconsciously trying to use the same tactics, which wouldn’t work with a Sandshrew.  
[MOD] DD: it’s also been ages since that one guy with the sandshrew, so…  
DN: And Ash has been on-and-off training Pidgeotto to deal with Ground-types.  
DN: In this case, the odds were in Ash’s favor.  
TD: …  
SW: -|===> …  
DN: …  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: Victini.  
WC: what  
WC: whys this my fault now  
[MOD] BB: Are you interfering?  
WC: i want to  
WC: but i cant cause theres some stupid press eVent goin on outside  
TN: hah.  
[MOD] DD: okay! misty sends out…  
TT: big ouch  
[MOD] DD: …magikarp.  
SW: -|===> Ow.  
SW: -|===> A bogey Pokémon if ever I saw one.  
TD: I wouldn’t be so sure.  
TT: what why  
TD: Think about it.  
TD: This is an organized event with many trainers using random Pokémon.  
TD: We can assume that every Pokémon available for choice has been trained for this.  
TD: Including that Magikarp.  
DN: …  
DN: And Misty *is* a Water-type trainer…  
DN: We can probably expect  
TN: WTF  
WC: wtf  
TT: wtf  
SW: -|===> Whoa!  
DN: …something like that.  
[MOD] BB: And this is exactly why you don’t underestimate Magikarp.  
TD: My point is made.  
[MOD] DD: the look on that farfetch’d’s face just before impact was hilarious!  
[MOD] DD: return of the ballistic fish!  
[MOD] BB: That Magikarp’s been taught Aqua Ring.  
[MOD] BB: This *is* well organized.  
[MOD] NM: Misty Didn’t Appear To Recognize The Move Or Know What Was Going On With It , But She Used It Well Regardless .  
TN: well this really isn’t disappointing!  
TN: the wait was worth it!  
[MOD] DD: next up for ash…  
[MOD] DD: ?!girafarig!?  
TT: ok wasn’t expecting that  
DN: I rather think that’s the point.  
DN: You don’t know what you’re going to get until it’s out there on the battlefield.  
[MOD] DD: so who’s going to win this one, the double header or the fish missile?

* * *

WC: well if i was there they wouldnt be haVing such shitty luck  
TD: If you were there, they would be disqualified for cheating.  
TD: Misty simply drew the short straw, as it were.  
[MOD] BB: I agree.  
[MOD] BB: In any comparison of luck, there’s always one that’s better, and in this case, Misty was worse off.  
DN: It was her fear of bugs.  
DN: That Scyther had the type advantage over the Girafarig, but she couldn’t use it effectively.  
[MOD] DD: ash’s third pokémon was a drowzee, in case anyone’s interested, so it’s not like his last one would’ve been plain sailing for him.  
TT: well ash won that’s good enough for us  
TN: bring on the next round!  
SW: -|===> Give them a chance, they’ve got seven more first-round battles to go through.  
[MOD] NM: Yes , We Need To See How Sorrel Does .  
[MOD] BB: As I understand it, he’s not a battler, so yes, this is something we should keep an eye on.  
DN: Though it is worth bearing in mind that he does aspire to become a Pokémon professor.  
DN: It could be that his general Pokémon knowledge is sufficient to get him through.  
[MOD] DD: oh, great.  
[MOD] BB: What?  
[MOD] DD: just checked out the rest of the competitors.  
[MOD] DD: pretty sure one of them’s james.  
SW: -|===> Team Rocket James?  
[MOD] DD: yeah…  
SW: -|===> They really are everywhere…

* * *

WC: how  
WC: the fuck  
WC: did this happen  
WC: did i black out for the whole tournament i mean what the hell  
WC: is that scoreboard right  
TD: It’s as surprising to us as it is to you.  
[MOD] BB: Well, I did say about luck comparison earlier…  
WC: y i know but  
WC: how  
[MOD] DD: i don’t know either but there it is.  
[MOD] DD: sorrel vs james.  
WC: but when did ash lose  
TN: oh he pretty much exploded out of the quarters in a suitably dramatic fashion.  
TN: he was way too cheerful about the whole thing but i can’t blame him for not making it entertaining.  
[MOD] DD: i dunno victini, you got pretty vocal when sorrel knocked him out.  
[MOD] NM: Would You Like Me To Take A Look When We’re Done Victini ?  
WC: fuck no  
[MOD] DD: let’s see what we’ve got here…  
[MOD] DD: a sentret for sorrel and a pikachu for james.  
[MOD] DD: pfft!  
TN: ha! really?!  
TT: ok that’s funny  
DN: Probably going to be the closest Team Rocket’ll ever get to actually having a Pikachu.  
SW: -|===> …huh.  
SW: -|===> I wonder if that’s it.  
[MOD] BB: What’s the matter?  
SW: -|===> I was just thinking that Team Rocket have been trying to capture Pikachu for quite a while, right?  
SW: -|===> So… James can just get this Pikachu to do what Ash’s Pikachu does.  
TD: That is a good point.  
[MOD] DD: won’t work.  
[MOD] DD: ash’s pikachu is op.  
DN: That may be so, but that doesn’t mean battling with this Pikachu is going to be a completely different experience.  
DN: See?  
DN: Something like that he could only have learned by watching Ash.  
[MOD] BB: I suppose Ash’s journey is more than a learning experience for him alone.  
[MOD] BB: Even if some of those lessons are being learned by thieves.  
[MOD] BB: I wonder if  
TN: wtf  
[MOD] DD: uh  
[MOD] DD: oh, for fuck’s sake.  
[MOD] DD: three guesses whose fault this is and all of them don’t count!  
DN: …It’s the other two members of Team Rocket and they’re taking the opportunity to steal several well-trained Pokémon.  
DN: Close enough?  
TT: just quit while you’re ahead bro  
[MOD] NM: I’ll Try And Follow Them With The Camera But I Don’t Know What The Range On These Portals Are .  
TD: I think they got everything except for the Sentret Sorrel was battling with.  
[MOD] DD: graaagh!  
[MOD] DD: lugia!  
[MOD] DD: i can help!  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: Their balloon is likely to be nearby. You could sabotage that before they get there.  
[MOD] DD: ooh good idea!  
DN: Yes, that was a lot of Pokéballs.  
DN: Even minimized, that’s a lot to carry.  
TN: y’know, i thought seeing ash beating back these guys would be funny.  
TN: but it’s just sad.  
TN: it’s weird.  
WC: w/e  
[MOD] DD: ok, popped a few choice holes in the balloon and unhooked the burner.  
[MOD] DD: that should slow ‘em down a bit.  
[MOD] DD: and conveniently this puts me right in place to watch the  
[MOD] DD: uh  
[MOD] NM: I Can’t Get Far Enough Away From The Stadium .  
[MOD] NM: We’re Reliant On Your Commentary .  
[MOD] DD: yeah but uh  
[MOD] DD: sorrel’s the only one who showed up!  
DN: What?  
TD: The others must be stuck in the stadium too.  
[MOD] DD: he’s out of his element here this could be bad…  
[MOD] DD: one sentret vs arbok, weezing, meowth and lickitung.  
[MOD] DD: outnumbered and outgunned.  
[MOD] DD: guess the growlithe’s out or something.  
[MOD] DD: come on ash where are you…  
[MOD] DD: this sentret is talking like she’s seen too many military movies!  
SW: -|===> Uh.  
SW: -|===> Correct me if I’m wrong, but…  
SW: -|===> Didn’t we see all four of those Pokémon in the selection pool in the tournament?  
TT: yeah  
TD: …  
TD: He’s got a fighting chance.  
WC: oh yea thats good  
WC: it just hit me too  
TN: what???  
TN: what’s the thing???  
TN: come on, don’t leave me out of this!  
SW: -|===> Sentret, Arbok, Weezing, Meowth and Lickitung are all part of the tournament selection pool.  
SW: -|===> Chances are…  
[MOD] BB: …that Sentret has had experience fighting each and every one of them in the past.  
SW: -|===> Exactly!  
DN: And let’s face it, Team Rocket aren’t particularly exceptional trainers.  
TT: yeah  
TT: ash has been beating them for months and he doesn’t know what he’s doing half the time  
TT: no wait scratch that i don’t know if ash ever knows what he’s doing  
[MOD] DD: yow!  
[MOD] DD: i think you’re right guys!  
[MOD] DD: and sorrel worked it out too!  
[MOD] DD: he’s giving commands and ending them like ‘you know what to do’ and not giving the rockets any chance to respond!  
TD: For somebody who was previously afraid to make connections with Pokémon, it sounds like he’s found a new rhythm.  
TN: come on, uxie!  
TN: you sure you can’t get the camera out there?  
[MOD] NM: Positive .  
[MOD] DD: and before you ask no i can’t get hoopa.  
TN: shit.  
TD: The only concern now would be numbers.  
TD: It’s still four on one.  
[MOD] DD: three on one, meowth just got slammed *hard*.  
TD: Still.  
TD: The tournament was entirely single battles.  
[MOD] DD: two on one, there goes lickitung…  
TD: Really?  
[MOD] DD: you’re right tho.  
[MOD] DD: sentret’s starting to get tired.  
[MOD] NM: Good News , It Looks Like They Just Broke The Lock On The Stadium Doors .  
[MOD] NM: Help Is On The Way .  
[MOD] DD: it’d better arrive quick!  
[MOD] DD: sorrel’s holding out but he doesn’t have the experience for this!  
[MOD] DD: at this rate it’s  
[MOD] DD: huh?  
[MOD] DD: oh no way!  
[MOD] DD: no fucking way!  
TN: what?  
TN: what happened?!  
[MOD] DD: arbok had sentret in a wrap.  
[MOD] DD: sorrel said  
[MOD] DD: ‘we’re not going to abandon your friends!’  
[MOD] DD: then sentret said ‘no we’re not, sir!’  
[MOD] DD: aaaaand evolved.  
WC: youre shittin me  
DN: …  
[MOD] DD: ash’s mysterious evolution power strikes yet again!  
DN: Are we sure it’s Ash, or is it you?  
DN: The common denominator in all of Ash’s fast evolutions has been you.  
[MOD] DD: imma need you to shut that taurosshit up, chief.  
[MOD] DD: i wasn’t anywhere near metapod when he evolved into butterfree, or charmander when he evolved into charmeleon.  
[MOD] BB: I think he’s referring more to the fact that you seem to be able to tell when an evolution is about to happen.  
[MOD] DD: well yeah, but it’s not me doing it!  
[MOD] DD: i get all tingly but that’s only *after* the evolution has started charging!  
TN: mew you got distracted!  
TN: what’s happening?!  
[MOD] DD: oh, the battle?  
[MOD] DD: it’s over.  
[MOD] DD: weezing and arbok got beaten by sorrel and one noodly boi.  
[MOD] DD: well, girl.  
[MOD] DD: furret slammed them all into the balloon which exploded.  
[MOD] DD: might’ve been my fault, it’s been years since i fiddled with a hot air balloon.  
[MOD] DD: all of the pokémon are safe and sound and the backup has finally arrived too late as usual.  
[MOD] BB: So basically, it’s ended like a typical Team Rocket encounter.  
SW: -|===> Why is there even such a thing as a ‘typical’ Team Rocket encounter…  
DN: Have we checked to make sure that Ash isn’t secretly communicating with them as well?  
WC: my job is done  
TN: you didn’t do anything!

* * *

UT: yeah, we got stuck.  
UT: being in the middle of a crowd all upset at thieves showing up?  
UT: not fun.  
TD: Where was Sorrel’s Lucario in this?  
UT: with us, but she couldn’t get clear and follow after them without hurting somebody else.  
UT: i’m sorry we missed it though!  
TN: we missed it too, you know.  
TN: stupid streaming restrictions.  
[ADMIN] WW: ITS NOT A TECHNICAL LIMITATION LATIAS  
[ADMIN] WW: IF I WASNT BUSY I COULDVE MOVED THE PORTAL FIELD  
TN: whatever.  
[MOD] BB: That was some impressive battling from Sorrel.  
UT: yeah!  
UT: i think he surprised himself, too!  
UT: he was just using general knowledge!  
DN: We saw that.  
DN: Nothing wrong with general knowledge. It can be advantageous to stick with simple rather than overdoing it trying to do something fancy.  
[MOD] DD: fyi i just tracked the rockets back to where they landed.  
[MOD] DD: you didn’t miss any pokéballs.  
UT: oh good.  
[MOD] DD: they did get away with the contents of the food stand though.  
[MOD] DD: lemme tell you, watching sorrel with sentret - and then furret - was something else.  
[MOD] DD: probably ‘cause of that general knowledge thing.  
[MOD] DD: the evolution didn’t trip him up at all.  
SW: -|===> A sword is, first and foremost, a sword.  
SW: -|===> Even if it’s differently weighted, or looks different, it’s still a sword.  
[MOD] BB: Sound advice.  
TT: or if its a honedge  
SW: -|===> Well, yes.  
TD: The point he’s making, Zapdos, is that some tactics work no matter the Pokémon you’re working with.  
TD: Ash, how did Sorrel feel about the encounter?  
UT: i don’t think it hit him until afterwards.  
UT: i saw his lucario smiling about it though.  
[MOD] DD: yeah, he and sentret/furret really connected.  
[MOD] DD: even though he’s not normally a battler!  
UT: yeah!  
UT: the tournament guys were really impressed as well!  
UT: they decided he basically won the whole thing, so he’s got a badge and everything.  
DN: Good on him.  
UT: and they gave him furret, too.  
[MOD] DD: he  
[MOD] DD: what??  
TD: What?  
DN: Really?  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: You know, nothing about that surprises me.  
[MOD] BB: A friendship forged in battle like that never leaves you.  
[MOD] DD: but that whole battle was about saving furret’s friends!  
UT: actually, um, from the noise, i think they encouraged her a bit…  
UT: we weren’t in the room, but the way sorrel told it…  
UT: he was unsure, but furret really wanted to, all of the other pokémon wanted her to, and…  
UT: he accepted her willingly!  
[MOD] DD: …  
[MOD] DD: okay well i guess i can’t complain about that!  
[MOD] DD: they both really earned it!  
UT: it’s not like he’s suddenly going to be a battler from now on, and he said he told furret that too.  
UT: but, well…  
UT: here we are!  
TN: great!  
TN: and now i’m bored again.  
UT: :/  
TN: no offense, that was great, up until it got interrupted.  
TN: and that’s a compliment, i’m very hard to please.  
TT: we noticed  
UT: latias, i’m not doing this on purpose.  
UT: i’m trying to get enough badges for the indigo conference!  
[MOD] BB: He has a point, Latias.  
TN: well of course you’d agree with him.  
[MOD] BB: That has nothing to do with it.  
[MOD] BB: We, all of us, are watching Ash with his permission.  
[MOD] BB: Permission that he could easily revoke if he so chooses.  
[MOD] BB: It’s not our place to demand he do things for our entertainment.  
TN: but lugia!  
[MOD] BB: And now you’re whining like a child.  
[MOD] BB: If you’re bored, seek things out to do.  
[MOD] BB: Don’t expect Ash to cure your boredom for you all the time.  
TN: there is literally *nothing* to do here.  
[MOD] DD: and how’s that ash’s fault?  
[MOD] BB: What Mew said.  
[MOD] BB: If you need to, speak to Arceus about it.  
TN: …  
TN: …fine.  
tenaciousNova [TN] fled the memo.  
DN: What a relief.  
[MOD] BB: Don’t start.  
UT: …  
UT: thanks, lugia.  
[MOD] BB: You’re welcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Who’s that Pokémon? It’s a Jigglypuff seen from above!” And it’s not even right, either…
> 
> Given that I’ve been giving a number of people intelligence upgrades, I got rid of this nonsensical test altogether and replaced it with loaner random battles, which is what happened in the last part of the canon episode anyway. It still counts as being an ‘Ultimate Test’, and it’s giving Ash valuable experience - namely, battling giving commands to Pokémon he’s only just met. And he’s still learned that lesson, despite the story having taken a shocking swerve by turning into a Sorrel episode.
> 
> Remember when I said it’s not just Ash who gets new Pokémon? Did you guess that meant Sorrel too? I didn’t, at least not before I started writing this section, since up until then Sorrel wasn’t with the group at this point. The original draft of the episode just has Ash getting to the final against James, and then facing down Team Rocket with his loaners of Weezing, Arbok and Meowth. Then I realized: hey, I can involve Sorrel here. And… whoops? Really, it just proves that Sorrel *is* a proper party member, rather than just a tacked-on addition. Verity will get the same treatment when Ash meets back up with her, probably in Sinnoh alongside Dawn.
> 
> Sorrel’s running theme is ‘protection’. His Luxray protected him from the snow, it’s been mentioned - but not yet explained - that he somehow saved his Lucario, so it was somewhat fitting that he get a Pokémon that starts as a Sentret, the sentry. I’ll be honest, I also really wanted an excuse to give a party member a Furret. Another thing I want to add is that - I can’t prove it - but Ash getting a Farfetch’d in his random pick was written in to the series remaster before he caught Galarian Farfetch’d in Journeys.
> 
> I’m skipping episode 69 (nice), because it’s a Meowth-focused episode and it’s hard to fit one of them in when most of the legendaries don’t care about what the Rockets are doing. If I was doing that chapter, I’d add in the notes that it was another episode that was meant to be broadcast on a real-life Japanese holiday (Children’s Day) but got punted out of place by the Porygon Incident.
> 
> I don't think I'm going to be able to finish Episode 71 before its due posting date on Monday, so I *will* take another hiatus after the next chapter.


	75. Episode 70 (The Daycare Scare)

TT: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
TT: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
beastieBirb [BB] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
poryBot [PB] gave beastieBirb [BB] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] BB: Why am I not surprised you’re all in here?  
TT: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
[MOD] BB: …  
DN: Can you please shut her up?  
DN: Or kick her, or something?  
DN: She’s been snoring into the memo non-stop for the last ten minutes.  
OG: Zapdos wake the fuck up  
TT: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
OG: Ugh  
OG: With her snoring *I* can’t get any sleep  
[MOD] BB: It’s 10AM.  
OG: So  
TT: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
[MOD] BB: …  
[MOD] BB: I take it after the drama of the other day things have settled back down again.  
TT: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
beastieBirb [BB] kicked thunderbirbTwo [TT] from the memo. (Reason: No sleepchatting.)  
OG: Blessed silence  
OG: Or at least it would be if she weren’t actually snoring at a million decibels  
CS: Ash and the others are in the middle of a city at the moment to rest and resupply.  
CS: So, there’s no activity here.  
CS: Not to say that Ash isn’t going to get up to something while we’re not paying attention.  
OG: No, that would be stupid  
[MOD] BB: Well…  
DN: It’s not like, if anything *does* happen, we can do anything about it.  
DN: Even if he wanted us to do anything about it.  
DN: This isn’t a gym location, so nobody’s around,  
DN: And even if it was the Guardians are all busy today.  
DN: And Mew’s napping, of course.  
[MOD] BB: This is good.  
[MOD] BB: It’s not healthy to stay glued to streams all day every day.  
OG: What  
OG: You’d rather we be fighting  
[MOD] BB: I didn’t say that.  
[MOD] BB: I’m sure there are more constructive things you could be doing in the meantime.  
[MOD] BB: Did you get everything at Seafoam prepared?  
OG: More or less  
OG: The Jynx were creeping me out tho  
OG: They’ve started making little statues of me and it is *really* weird  
CS: You’re not being worshipped, are you?  
OG: Fuck I hope not  
DN: No?  
DN: I would have thought you’d be ecstatic to have others worshipping you.  
DN: And bringing you tributes, etc.  
OG: Yea that’s how it starts  
OG: But you do that and soon you start getting expected to actually do stuff  
ominousGaze [OG2] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
OG2: nah  
OG2: fuck em  
[MOD] BB: Yan.  
OG2: theyre not the boss of you  
OG2: and if you dont want em ill have em  
OG: Fuck off Yan  
OG2: nah  
OG2: i heard u were havin a quiet time so we decided to come ruin it  
DN: We?  
DN: Oh no.  
turboTrample [TT2] joined [Gotta Ketchum All].  
disavowedNegotiation [DN2] responed to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
DN2: Morning, Moltres.  
DN2: Having a good day?  
DN:  
DN: I was until you showed up.  
DN2: Excellent.  
TT2: Yeah see Zapdos isn’t even here.  
TT2: This is just a waste of my time.  
OG2: im doin this for me  
OG2: i dont care about ur interests  
[MOD] BB: Yan, Tyan, Tethera, just because this is a quiet day doesn’t mean you get to spoil it.  
[MOD] BB: Behave, or you’re out.  
OG2: w/e  
OG2: what u need to do art  
OG: What  
OG2: someone asks u to do somethin  
OG2: u freeze em  
OG2: send em a message  
CS: They’re Jynx, I don’t think being frozen would actually bother them that much.  
OG2: nobody asked u sui  
CS: Oh, I know.  
CS: I was chiming in.  
CS: It’s a thing that tends to happen in conversation.  
DN: It occurs that nobody asked you for your opinion either, Yan, and you delivered it anyway.  
DN: You don’t get to complain.  
DN2: Playing the hypocrisy card this early?  
DN2: Shame.  
TT2: Yeah fuck this I’m not sticking around.  
OG: Good riddance  
thunderbirbTwo [TT] responded to [Gotta Ketchum All].  
TT2: My plans changed.  
OG: Dammit sis your timing is the *worst*  
TT: zzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
OG: NOOOOOOO  
beastieBirb [BB] kicked thunderbirbTwo [TT] from the memo. (Reason: No.)  
[MOD] BB: The rest of you, be civil.  
TT2: And just like that I’m out again.  
TT2: You’re on your own girls I’m going bye.  
turboTrample [TT2] fled the memo.  
OG2: wimp  
DN: Lugia, why haven’t you just kicked them already?  
[MOD] BB: Well, to be honest, it’s because I still have hope that the six of you will one day be able to share a memo in which none of you throw any insults.  
[MOD] BB: And immediately kicking would prevent that from happening.  
DN2: Lugia, I hate to break it to you, but you’d have better luck waiting for Groudon and Kyogre to announce their engagement.  
OG: Ok  
OG: I still hate you Tethera  
OG: But that was good  
DN2: Thank you, Articuno.  
DN: Don’t compliment her!  
[MOD] BB: See?  
OG2: yea can u not art  
OG2: weve got a reputation to maintain here  
DN2: I just wanted everyone to be aware that I *do* posess the ability to be civil, even if I choose to ignore it.  
DN: It’s hardly civil if you’re explaining why you’re *not* being civil.  
DN2: You’re just upset that I can pull off being a jerk better without talking like there’s no tomorrow.  
DN: Now who’s being hypocritical?!  
DN2: That’s the part you object to, and not the part where I told you you’re a jerk?  
[MOD] BB: Last warning.  
OG2: yea  
OG2: when u 2 are done releasin sexual tension we were havin a proper discussion here  
OG: I dunno I thought we were finished  
DN2: Yan!  
DN2: Okay, taking shots at them? That’s fine.  
DN2: Taking shots at *me*?  
DN2: Not cool.  
DN: As if I’d ever be interested in her that way.  
OG: Yeah you’re not helping your case bro  
OG2: w/e you can just fuck off  
OG2: literally  
beastieBirb [BB] kicked ominousGaze [OG2] from the memo. (Reason: That’s enough, Yan.)  
DN2: …  
DN2: She’d better hope I can’t find her.  
disavowedNegotiation [DN2] fled the memo.  
CS: …  
CS: I’m glad I don’t have any relatives like that.  
DN: They’re not our relatives!  
OG: Geeeeez  
[MOD] BB: Moltres, take five and calm down.  
DN: I don’t need to calm down!  
beastieBirb [BB] kicked dantesNferno [DN] from the memo. (Reason: Yes you do.)  
CS: I hope Ash’s day is calmer than this…  
OG: Thanks for jinxing it Suicune

* * *

tropicalWaterfall [TW] responded to [Camp Clearing].  
TW: guys, I need help!  
[MOD] TM: What’s the matter?  
TW: Ash and the others got arrested!  
[MOD] TM: What?  
[MOD] TM: Why?  
[MOD] NN: zZz Whatd he do zZz  
TW: nothing!  
TW: they were framed by Team Rocket!  
DS: are we talking about the same team rocket  
TW: we were at this Pokémon daycare in Tyrian City, and it turned out to be a Team Rocket scam.  
TW: not the guys who keep following us, but another pair, Cassidy and… I forgot what the other guy’s name was.  
TW: we were trying to free all the Pokémon from the back.  
TW: but they stole Todd’s camera and framed us for being thieves!  
[MOD] TM: You managed to get away?  
TW: yeah, with Togepi and Pikachu.  
TW: Officer Jenny wouldn’t even listen when Brock tried to tell her that he was a former gym leader.  
TW: she thinks the daycare is real!  
[MOD] TM: Hmmm.  
[MOD] TM: I assume, because you’re coming to us for help, that your status as a gym leader went ignored as well.  
TW: yeah…  
TW: do you have any idea how I can get them out???  
DS: youve got pikachu  
DS: knock the door down  
[MOD] NN: zZz No thats the worst thing you could do zZz  
DS: why  
[MOD] NN: zZz Because that is a criminal offence zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz As opposed to being framed for one zZz  
DS: oh right  
[MOD] TM: Logically that means you need to do the opposite.  
[MOD] TM: You need to prove they were framed.  
TW: easier said than done…  
[MOD] TM: Your friend Todd…  
[MOD] TM: Obviously, I’ve not met him, but from what I’ve heard about him it’s not the sort of thing he’d let go undocumented.  
TW: yeah, he was taking pictures.  
TW: they nearly found us because he left the flash on.  
TW: but then the Team Rocket *we* know turned up and started being loud.  
[MOD] TM: So there *is* proof, if you can get that camera.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] NN: zZz Are you any good at acting zZz  
TW: uh…  
TW: maybe?  
DS: pikachus smart  
DS: if you distract them maybe he could get the camera  
[MOD] TM: Sounds like a plan.  
[MOD] TM: You’d need a reasonable excuse to be going there, though.  
TW: well…  
TW: Psyduck’s kinda in there.  
[MOD] TM: …  
[MOD] TM: Is that particularly safe?  
TW: no, it’s a Team Rocket scam!  
[MOD] TM: I meant for the other Pokémon.  
[MOD] TM: My daughter’s been telling me about your… successes… with Psyduck.  
[MOD] NN: zZz Wait shes been talking to zZz  
[MOD] NN: zZz Uh zZz  
TW: :/  
TW: I guess I’m just going to have to try it…  
[MOD] TM: Before you go, it can’t hurt to have a backup plan.  
[MOD] TM: Call your sisters.  
DS: yeah thats a good idea!  
TW: wh  
TW: no it isn’t!  
TW: they won’t care!  
DS: misty  
DS: theyre your family  
DS: theyll care  
[MOD] TM: Misty, my children don’t get along with each other at the best of times.  
[MOD] TM: But I know that if one of them is in serious trouble, the others will drop everything to help.  
[MOD] TM: Even if they’re on the other side of the region.  
TW: …  
TW: okay fine.  
tropicalWaterfall [TW] fled the memo.

* * *

ultimateTrainer [UT] began pestering twiceMulticolored [TM].

UT: status re: arrest   
UT: we’re clear!   
TM: Good news, then.   
UT: yeah, misty pulled through and got todd’s camera back.   
UT: cassidy and that other guy got put in instead.   
TM: If they’re part of the competent side of Team Rocket, I don’t see that sticking for very long.   
TM: Well done regardless.   
UT: officer jenny’s making sure all the pokémon get back to their owners.   
UT: feels good!   
UT: after saffron and celadon and now this we’re dealing some serious damage to team rocket!   
TM: Be careful not to get too distracted.   
TM: Your training is interrupted enough as it is.   
UT: yeah yeah i know.   
UT: it’d feel really great though if i went into the league knowing that they can’t steal any more pokémon.   
TM: Focus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s Cassidy and Botch! Who are basically the alternate formes of Jessie and James, hence the appearance of the Galarian Birds.
> 
> I changed the title for this one as well, because of that awkward situation revolving around the word ‘breeding’. It was a daycare in the original Japanese but I guess they changed it to fit more with Brock’s goal, even though none of this revolves around actually breeding?? Either that or they were predicting really early the only reason why people would actually use the in-game daycare in future generations. Had it even been decided to add breeding as a mechanic in the game sequels yet? Who knows!
> 
> I suddenly realized after writing this episode that Misty basically puts Psyduck in the daycare because she’s annoyed with him, and that… sort of doesn’t track any more. Oh well.
> 
> The first draft for this episode actually ended on a cliffhanger, as Butch and Cassidy had taken a hint and started moving Pokémon out to another Team Rocket base, including Psyduck. Marshadow would then reveal he’d switched to Psyduck’s shadow and would help Ash find out where they were being taken, leading into Episode 71, Rocket Rendezvous Roundup, and use it to wrap up the competent Team Rocket C-plot. Why have I changed this? In essence, it relied on Ash being far more competent than he is at the moment, since he’d have no legitimate way to say how he knew where to go.
> 
> Fun fact for the episode: In the Yan Tyan Tethera counting system, 5 is ‘pimp’, 10 is ‘dik’, 15 is ‘bumfitt’, and 20 is ‘giggot’.
> 
> And, as mentioned previously, I'm now going into another posting hiatus until this little bit of real life is behind me. I mentioned that my deadline is at the beginning of March, so that's about the point I'm going to be able to start writing it again; I may post a few actual minisodes while I try to build up a backlog again, just to check in on some of the other characters without having any bearing on the plot at all. See you then.


	76. Minisode (Legends, Shining Brilliantly)

TO:  
WD:  
DW:  
WD: That was a thing.  
DW: I’m… not sure how I feel about this.  
DW: On the one side, yes, but on the other side…  
DW: What?  
TO: I don’t know what you’re complaining about.  
TO: It was a surprise for me, and a very pleasant one at that.  
DW: Don’t get me wrong, I like it, but…  
DW: What?  
WD: Are you going to do that thing where you just replay your same few seconds over and over again until you have something new to say?  
DW: What?  
WD: …  
WD: I walked *right* into that one…  
DW: What?  
WW: STOP BUFFERING  
TO: Dialga, don’t tease your sister.  
DW: Sorry.  
TO: Anyway, I know I want to see more.  
TO: I’ll refrain from succumbing to the… hype, is it?  
WD: Yeah that’s right.  
TO: Thank you.  
TO: But regardless.  
WD: I mean…  
WD: Okay, I guess I wasn’t expecting *exactly* that, but I’ll take it.  
DW: I think that’s the general reaction summed up.  
TO: You’ve not said anything about it yet, Giratina.  
TO: Thoughts?  
WW: WELL  
WW: IM UPSET  
TO: Why’s that?  
WW: WHERES MY GAME  
WW: AM I JUST  
WW: OLD NEWS OR SOMETHING  
TO: …  
DW: …  
WD: …  
TO: Giratina, what *are* you talking about?  
WW: YOU GOT ONE EACH WHY DONT I GET O  
WW: UH  
WW: UM  
WW: WHY WHAT WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT  
DW: It’s… the first part of that documentary about us.  
DW: I thought we were all watching it at the same time.  
DW: It was surprisingly respectful and accurate.  
DW: Were you watching something different?  
WW: UM  
WW: YOU  
WW: YOU WERENT WATCHING THE POKEMON PRESENTS THEN  
TO: Giratina?  
WW: FUCK  
wonkyWindlass [WW] fled the memo.  
DW: …  
WD: Eh, it’s just another one of his weird things.  
WD: Brother, cue up part two.  
DW: Part two hasn’t been filmed yet.  
WD: Doesn’t normally stop you.  
DW: True.  
TO: If you’ll excuse me for a moment…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real life is still churning, things not really going the way I want them to, but hey. Sinnoh confirmed twice.
> 
> WW: WHY DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD  
> WW: IM SUCH AN IDIOT  
> theOne [TO] responded to [Chapter Notes].  
> WW: UM  
> TO: For the record, Giratina, I was watching the Presents at the same time.  
> TO: I understand your disappointment.  
> WW: EVEN THOUGH ONE OF THE GAMES IS LITERALLY ABOUT YOU  
> TO: Just because my name is in the title doesn’t mean it’s all about me.  
> TO: I would reserve final judgment for when the game actually releases.  
> TO: I’m finally looking forward to seeing a me encounter that’s actually legitimate for once.  
> TO: Please, though…  
> TO: Try to leave the fourth wall as intact as possible?  
> TO: And try not to let it slip to your siblings that they’re speaking through a fictional medium.  
> TO: I’d rather not have to deal with the pair of them having existensial crises.  
> WW: OK  
> TO: Good. Now come back and watch the rest of the documentary with us.  
> wonkyWindlass [WW] fled [Chapter Notes].  
> TO: I apologize for the intrusion.  
> TO: As always, you’ve been a gracious host for our silliness.  
> TO: Thank you for your time.
> 
>   
> You’re welcome. 


	77. Minisode (The Cat and the Moon)

moietySatellite [MS] responded to [Beach Partay!].  
poryBot [PB] gave moietySatellite [MS] the ‘moderator’ role.  
[MOD] MS: Alola!  
[MOD] MS: Oh?  
[MOD] MS: It’s not usually this quiet in here, even at night.  
[MOD] MS: Did you do something, Zera? @tempestsUproar  
TU: No  
TU: Why’s this my fault now  
TU: The Tapu fucked off somewhere  
unabatedStimulus [US] responded to [Beach Partay!].  
US: yea were busy  
unabatedStimulus [US] fled the memo.  
[MOD] MS: I see.  
[MOD] MS: *sigh*  
[MOD] MS: I apologize, Zera.  
TU: Thanks for nothing  
[MOD] MS: It has been quite a while since we’ve spoken.  
[MOD] MS: May I ask a question?  
TU: What  
[MOD] MS: You were conspicuously absent from our watch party for Ash’s battle against Ho-oh.  
[MOD] MS: Why was that?  
TU: Seriously  
TU: You’re askin me why I didn’t show up to watch some human  
TU: In case you forgot I hate humans  
TU: I don’t care if he’s special  
TU: Or if his Pikachu can do stuff it shouldn’t be able to  
[MOD] MS: *hums in consideration*  
[MOD] MS: I suppose that’s fair.  
TU: I want nothing to do with him  
TU: And so long as he stays the fuck away from me  
TU: There’s not gonna be any problems  
TU: Why’re you so interested anyway  
[MOD] MS: I admit I’ve only spoken to Ash once, in passing.  
[MOD] MS: My duties take precedent of course.  
[MOD] MS: But he is a remarkable young man, and Solgaleo agrees with me.  
[MOD] MS: His battle with Ho-oh was… inspiring, in a way.  
TU: Sounds to me like you’re going soft  
[MOD] MS: *waves a claw dismissively*  
[MOD] MS: You’re entitled to your own opinions.  
TU: My own opinions  
TU: I watched as humans burned my home around me  
TU: Not a single one of them showed any kind of concern  
TU: They nearly killed me  
TU: So excuse me if I don’t believe that anybody could actually like them  
[MOD] MS: …  
[MOD] MS: I apologize again, Zera. I should have remembered this is a subject you’d prefer to avoid.  
TU: Damn right  
TU: It’s bad enough he took my handle pair  
[MOD] MS: As I recall, you previously ‘didn’t give a shit’ about handle pairs.  
TU: Yeah well  
TU: I give a shit now  
TU: You could give UT to one of those beasts you keep fighting and I wouldn’t care  
TU: But a human  
TU: Fuck off  
TU: …  
TU: Go on  
[MOD] MS: What?  
TU: Isn’t this usually the point where you ignore me and start tryin to change my mind  
[MOD] MS: *shrug*  
[MOD] MS: I wasn’t even considering it.  
[MOD] MS: Why, would you like me to try and change your mind?  
TU:  
TU:  
TU: FUCK NO  
tempestsUproar [TU] fled the memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having cleared the deadline stress, I've now moved into post-deadline stress. Joy.
> 
> Anyway, here's a little thing with some currently background characters, Lunala and Zeraora. Power of Us!Zeraora's been through a lot. Ash getting the UT abbreviation was actually a mistake on my part; I'd allocated that to Eternatus, but forgot to mark that down when I started setting out the human chat handles, and, well... Sometimes, the handle pairs will mean something (seen between key pairs like Dialga and Palkia), but sometimes, like with Ash and Zeraora, it means nothing.
> 
> In case it wasn't obvious, these Minisodes have no bearing on the current plot whatsoever.


	78. Minisode (Regimemo State of Play)

GN: ####sarcastic_No, it’s going brilliantly.  
GN: ####sarcastic_Well done, Steel.  
GG: { "dialogue": [  
GG: "In my defense, I was not expecting you to melt quite so easily.",  
GG: "Or resolidify just as quickly." ] },  
GN: ####angry_So now you're pinning this on me?!  
NG: >print: W E ' R E _ B O T H _ P I N N E D _ T O _ Y O U  
GN: ####angry_Not what I meant!!!  
GG: { "dialogue": [  
GG: "@biologicalComputer Creator-Regigigas, we requre assistance." ] },  
OC: [disappointed_trombone.wav]  
BC: PROCESSING…  
BC: PROCESSING…  
BC: PROCESSING…  
BC: YOU WILL HAVE TO ASK HIM YOURSELF.  
NG: >print: W H A T  
GN: ####resigned_That's the answer to the question I asked him half an hour ago.  
GN: ####resigned_We're so boned.  
OC: [even-more-disappointed_trombone.wav]  
GN: ####resigned_Why did I even agree to this?  
GN: ####sudden-realization_*When* did I agree to this?!  
GN: ####sudden-realization_I have no memory files of this!  
OC: Yesterday.  
OC: When you were stuck in drunk mode.  
GN: ####annoyed_And you didn't tell me why?!  
OC: You didn't ask.  
OC: It's not like we're your codesitters or something.  
OC: It's hardly our fault that  
OC: Your  
OC: Coding  
OC: SUCKS!  
NG: >print: L I K E _ Y O U _ C A N _ T A L K  
GG: { "dialogue": [  
GG: "Unit-Regieleki, I know you have been stuck to Unit-Regidrago on multiple previous occasions.",  
GG: "You cannot blame Unit-Regice's coding for this." ] },  
CO: DID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME()  
OC: No.  
GG: { "dialogue": [  
GG: "I mentioned your name in passing when referring to previous events." ] },  
CO: OH()  
CO: WELL I GUESS THA  
BC: PROCESSING…  
BC: PROCESSING…  
OC: Can someone come up here and let me out?  
OC: I think Regigigas needs a jumpstart.  
GN: ####annoyed_In case you'd forgotten, we're busy being Regichimera over here.  
GN: ####pleading_Rock, can you just… do that thing you do?  
GN: ####pleading_Please?  
NG: >print: W H A T _ T H I N G  
NG: >print: I _ D O N ' T _ K N O W _ W H A T _ Y O U ' R E _ T A L K I N G _ A B O U T  
GN: ####irritated_That thing where you teleport when we're not looking at you!  
CO: T MAKES SENSE()  
OC: [Tea is an aromatic beverage commonly prepared by pouring hot or boiling water…] [W]  
OC: Makes sense.  
OC: Checks out.  
OC: NEXT!  
GG: { "dialogue": [  
GG: "Unit-Regirock cannot teleport.",  
GG: "I am not sure where you got that from." ] },  
CO: WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT TEA()  
GN: ####annoyed_Nobody was talking about tea!!!  
CO: I COULDVE SWORN THAT ELEKI SAID()  
CO: UM()  
CO: I SEEM TO HA  
codeOscillation [CO] exploded.  
BC: CORRECT.  
NG: >print: S I G H

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could have just copypasted the entire Regimemo snippet from Legendtrapped, because it basically stands alone by itself. But I wanted to do something new, and I wanted to update Regieleki a little bit to emulate zipping. Into. Your. FACE! If you try to imagine a conversation between various text-to-speech bots, that’s basically what this is. The Regi are gloriously silly. If I had more programming knowledge then they'd all be speaking in proper code, alas I don't, so you get Registeel speaking in JSON and that is it.
> 
> I wish I could be posting a proper episode for this milestone, but I can’t yet - there’s a key event in Episode 71 that I *have* to get right, and then I’ve got to build the backlog - so I’m just going to do it here. This story recently reached 20,000 hits. For something started on a lark, I never imagined it’d get this much attention. 500 comments too, but that’s less impressive when you consider that a lot of those are my replies. I wish I could have kept to a consistent upload schedule all the way through, but we take what we can get. Thanks enormously, everyone.


	79. Minisode (Night of Knights)

swordBravo [SB] responded to [Swords of Justice].  
SB: Aren’t you supposed to be asleep, Keldeo?  
SB: @surfeitObjection  
SO: huh?  
SO: oh, sorry cobalion.  
SO: i’m chatting with meloetta.  
SO: it’s been a long time since we last spoke, and i’m just catching up!  
SB: …  
ST: Leave off, Cobalion. He’s more than earned some downtime.  
ST: When was the last time *you* slept when you were supposed to, eh?  
SB: …  
SG: Wait, hold on.  
SG: I may be all the way over here but I saw that expression before you turned away.  
SG: Have you slept at *all* recently?  
SB: …  
ST: For cryin’ out loud, I meant it as a joke!  
SO: um…  
SG: That does it.  
SG: I’m not about to let you continue on like this.  
SG: That’s not healthy and you’re supposed to be setting Keldeo a good example!  
SB: Drop the subject, Virizion.  
SB: We’re not discussing this now.  
SG: Terrakion, keep an eye on Keldeo while he has free time tomorrow.  
ST: Huh?  
SB: Excuse me!  
SG: Keldeo, take tomorrow off.  
SB: Virizion!  
SB: That is not your decision to make!  
SG: I’m making an executive decision.  
SG: If you’re not going to go to sleep willingly, then I’m going to have to make you.  
SB: You’re bluffing.  
SB: You don’t know any moves to do such a thing.  
SG: Correct.  
SG: Which means I’m just going to have to knock you out instead.  
scimitarGamma [SG] fled the memo.  
SB: VIRIZ  
swordBravo [SB] fled the memo.  
ST: And there they go.  
SO: um.  
SO: is it really going to be okay?  
ST: Yeah, it’ll be fine.  
ST: They used to do this all the time before.  
ST: Surprised it took ‘em this long to get back to it.  
ST: All good-natured, an' they're keepin' each other sharp.  
SO: oh, ok.  
ST: So what’s Mels up to?  
SO: oh!  
SO: she said she’s been working on a new song and she’s nearly finished with it!  
SO: i’m looking forward to hearing it!  
ST: Nice.  
SO: if, um, if cobalion will let me.  
ST: Hey, if he gives you any crap about it, just let me know.  
ST: Like we told you before, he can’t make you train 24/7.  
SO: thanks, terrakion.  
ST: No problem, kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cobalion fears no mon… except maybe Virizion. Then there’s Terrakion being the cool uncle equivalent.
> 
> You know what, I might be back on for a chapter every two days. Depends on whether I can get Blaine’s gym battle done quickly. If not, I’ll whip up another Minisode, just to keep things consistent.


End file.
